self-love

RESILIENCY AND RECOVERY

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Recovery emerges from hope: The belief that recovery is real provides the essential and motivating message of a better future - that people can and do overcome the internal and external challenges, barriers, and obstacles that confront them.

Recovery is person-driven: Self-determination and self-direction are the foundations for recovery as individuals define their own life goals and design their unique path(s).

Recovery occurs via many pathways: Individuals are unique with distinct needs, strengths, preferences, goals, culture, and backgrounds - including trauma experiences - that affect and determine their pathway(s) to/in recovery.

Recovery is holistic: Recovery encompasses an individual's whole life, including mind, body, spirit, and community. The array of services and supports available should be integrated and coordinated.

Recovery is supported by peers and allies: Mutual support and mutual aid groups, including the sharing of experiential knowledge and skills, as well as social learning, play an invaluable role in recovery.

Recovery is supported through relationship and social networks: An important factor in the recovery process is the presence and involvement of people who believe in the person's ability to recover; who offer hope, support, and encouragement; and who also suggest strategies and resources for change.

— Click HERE to speak to a highly trained and experienced psychologists online. https://onlinetherapies.com

Recovery is culturally-based and influenced: Culture and cultural background in all of its diverse representations - including values, traditions, and beliefs - are keys in determining a person's journey and unique pathway to recovery.

Recovery is supported by addressing trauma: Services and supports should be trauma-informed to foster safety (physical and emotional) and trust, as well as promote choice, empowerment, and collaboration.

Recovery involves individual, family, and community strengths and responsibility: Individuals, families, and communities have strengths and resources that serve as a foundation for recovery.

Recovery is based on respect: Community, systems, and societal acceptance and appreciation for people discrimination - are crucial in achieving recovery.


This article was written by Marc Baisden, MACP, MIN

Adapted from ASAM for Dual Recovery and Trauma

Click HERE to Learn more about Marc Baisden.

A "HEALTHY" DISTRACTION

Fear and insecurity can turn physical fitness into an addiction. While most of us consider the pursuit of physical fitness to be a great habit, for me, it was a painful cycle disguised as a healthy practice. The more unsatisfied I was with myself, the more strenuous, restrictive, and consistent my exercise and diet became.

Looking back, it’s clear to see that dissatisfaction, not poor health, was what propelled me to dedicate more than twenty years of my life to fitness. I strongly believe that the reason fitness and fit people are so popular is because most of us are attracted to the idea of having a “healthy distraction” from our inner conflicts.

Although it is true that exercise and physical attractiveness can improve our overall health and lift our self-esteem, using these methods to hide our pain can also result in increased, unnecessary suffering. I don’t know anything healthier than having the courage to dive deeper into our own hearts for answers.  

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving!

 UNHAPPY HEART IN A FIT BODY

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Susan had a session with me at two in the afternoon. I was not feeling well after Destiny’s encounter. During lunch, my thoughts had been much more centered on love and kindness, and this reflection was hovering over me when Susan arrived. She’d been training with me for a couple of months.

I began chatting with her about these tender reflections. In the middle of our session, I said, “Susan, you know what I’ve begun to realize?”

 “What?” she asked.

 “That the foundation of health is love; how can we feel comfortable in our bodies if we are not in love with life? Does that make sense to you?”

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She looked at me as if she was thinking about it. Then she said, “Valeria, can you please get the mat for my next buttocks workout?”

We continued with the session as if I’d never brought up the insignificance of a fit body without a loving heart and a happy mind.

Much Love!

Valeria Teles

THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE TRUTH CANNOT HIDE

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Karen was my last client for the day. We met at seven sharp, right after Steve.

Karen was an obese woman I trained twice a week. She was thirty years old, weighed 250 pounds, and was 5’ 2”. However, these numbers don’t say anything about her as a person. She was a painter who owned her own gallery in Manhattan. The serenity in her eyes and the way she smiled for no reason introduced her to me before she even told me her name.

She had been married for more than five years to someone who was in good shape. I knew this because her husband came to pick her up after our sessions. The conversation we had the first day we met left me pondering about life for days.

I asked the same question I asked every client before we began the program: What are your three main fitness goals?

Karen said she only had one goal: to enjoy the workouts.

I recall looking into her eyes as if she had not understood my question. I rephrased it, and this time I was more specific.

“I understand, Karen, and I will ensure that the exercises will be fun, but what I meant was, how many pounds do you want to lose?”

Again, she answered with a smile and said she didn’t care about the weight; she just wanted to feel good during and after the workouts. Furthermore, she said it didn’t matter if she didn’t lose any weight at all. Her peaceful eyes and joyful smile reinforced the truth of her words.

I could not believe this woman and how out of touch with reality she was. She was obese, for God’s sake! She could actually die of a heart attack at any moment, and my mind refused to believe that anyone could be at peace with a body like hers. It couldn’t be possible.

I insisted. I tried to force her to make a deal with me, and asked her to agree on losing one to two pounds per week.

Once more with the same serene, happy look on her face, she replied that I didn’t understand her. Patiently, she repeated that she was fine with her weight and that she enjoyed her work. She was a person who loved and was loved by her family and friends. Her life was a blessing, and she was grateful for what she had. There was nothing else to be added or removed to make her happier. The workouts with me were just to get her body moving while she had some fun.

I wasn’t amazed by her attitude, because I neither understood nor believed in what she was saying at the time. Nevertheless, after our encounter that day, I went home thinking about her, and I remembered a thought I’d had when I was a teenager, one that had returned many times throughout my life.

I would die young.

I believed I would not reach the age of thirty, despite being physically healthy.

Perhaps intuitively, I knew that my heart could fail at any time because of my lack of understanding of what life was really about: love and kindness.

I am convinced that Karen became my client for a reason—to teach me that to be healthy is to be loving. She trained with me for almost a year, and never lost any weight.

Karen was the healthiest client I ever had.

 

Much Love!

Valeria Teles

LUCID LOVE

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The moment we choose to recognize our experiences in the world as lessons of love, life turns into a lucid dream. This recognition can come from the depths of our hearts or from spiritual awareness—brought about through the senseless suffering caused by our minds. Either way, the main difference between a nightmare and a lucid dream is a shift of our perception grounded in love. In the dream of life, there are many mountains to climb every day, and they might crumble, the dust might blur our vision, fear might replace our hope, but if we have faith and recognize our own essence, WE will never fall again. 

Much Love!

Valeria 

CHOOSE TO BE THRILLED!

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We have the choice to change our minds when we can't change the situation we find ourselves in. Instead of perceiving a commitment to finish our work with dreadful anxiety, we can live in these moments with a sense of excitement.

Embrace the challenge of being creative, thus tapping into the unborn parts of the mind that are not habitually conditioned to perceiving external events. 

The main difference between anxiety and excitement is the energy behind these feelings: one is driven by negative thoughts (anxiety), and the other by positive ones. All of the unnecessary suffering in our lives is self-created, and so is our happiness. 

When we are able to perceive reality with an inner “eye” that can’t see itself, our hearts will have become the source of unconditioned joy. 

 

Much love!

Valeria

TRYING TOO HARD

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I now see that my "fit and healthy" lifestyle was made up of a series of these kinds of experiences. I was very disciplined, but this discipline was turning me into the opposite of a loving and happy person. I came to realize that the pursuit of a fit and healthy body could only be a positive thing if we’ve already recognized our spiritual hearts as perfectly fit to provide us with a life of happiness and peace. In other words, although a fit body can improve our health, earn compliments that boost our self-esteem, and give us a temporary “high” of accomplishment, without a content mind and joyful heart, our happiness won’t last long. When our health and feel-good states depend on external conditions and constant hard work, this can propel us into an endless, destructive cycle.

Much love!

Valeria

ON SELF-LOVE

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SELF-LOVE

After many insights and lessons, I’ve learned to have self-love without selfishness; to recognize which behaviors are motivated by love rather than fear; to see how closely connected my past is to my present; and that love, joy, and peace are at the core of our true nature with regard to how we relate to others and the world. My new spiritual understanding not only gave deeper meaning to my life, but it has also caused external changes I could never have imagined. 

 

Much love!

Valeria

THE SPACE TO BE YOU 

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"Bravo’s dusty roads were still paths for bull-driven carriages, which squeezed between the houses in a cloud of dust. The carriage conductor would scream loudly to give directions to the bulls. He wore leather pants and a leather jacket under the fierce sun, and whipped the bulls with two dirty ropes. From far off, I could hear the loud creaking of the carriage’s dry wooden chassis carrying large bags of beans and corn.

The sound grew louder and louder as it approached our street. It was a bit scary at first, but it always became the attraction of the week. I would rush to the window, covering my eyes with my fingers so as not to be blinded by the dust. I couldn’t open my mouth to laugh or scream either, unless I wanted to have dust for lunch.

I still enjoyed the passing of the giant, creaking carriage dragged by bulls and whipped by a wild man. Bravo seemed not to care about its bull-driven carriages making loud noises and clouds of dust. It was simply the space that allowed a bull to be a bull and a man to be a wild conductor."

 

Much love!

Valeria

LISTENING TO THE HEART WAS MY ONLY CHOICE

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"After days of dwelling on my detached feelings and memories of the past charged with discontent, there was a moment of silent melancholy and then a question. This question would change everything: ‘What would you do if you were still alive?’ 

I knew the answer well.

I’d listen to my heart..."

Much Love,

Valeria

LOSE WEIGHT - FIND JOY

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Below you will find a sample of the diet that I was on for about two years before I competed with WBFF – World Beauty Fitness and Fashion. This dietary system, combined with weight lifting, can be of great help for losing weight, staying in shape, and building muscle and strength. But as I have mentioned throughout my book, Fit for Joy, this type of regiment mainly focuses on the physical body, which is only one aspect of our being. We are so much more than just our bodies! The approach to fitness that works the body in isolation from our mind and our spiritual heart is not what I do today, professionally or personally. My work at the moment is about integrating conventional physical fitness with spirituality.

These meal suggestions are only to illustrate what my personal journey was like. They are not approved meal-plan recommendations.

BREAKFAST Option One

8 oz cold water with a probiotic supplement

1 tablespoon matcha green tea + ½ lemon

7 walnuts

1-2 whole eggs

BREAKFAST Option Two

1 salmon filet oven-roasted with coconut oil

5-10 walnuts

Steamed Kale

BREAKFAST Option Three

Steel-cut oats, almond milk, berries

Green tea

 

LUNCH

Any lean meat of your choice: white fish (sole, cod, flounder, or halibut), grass-fed red meat, tuna fish, wild salmon, chicken breast, turkey breast, sardines in water.

Eat with steamed veggies or a green salad.

Avoid sauces; instead use olive oil, apple cider vinegar, and avocado oil for salad dressing.

Snack - Best Options:

1 tablespoon spirulina shake with ½ oz. frozen organic berries and a teaspoon of coconut oil

Green juice (no fruit added)

Protein shake (whey protein)

Nuts (walnuts, macadamias, pecans, Brazil nuts)

Raw coconut flakes

Celery, cucumber, or carrots with almond butter

Kale chips or dried seaweed

Raw cheese (unpasteurized)

Sweet potato chips (homemade)

 

DINNER

The same options as lunch

*Important – Avoid:

Alcohol

All sugar and sweets

Regular fruit, except for berries and green apples

Starchy carbs such as pasta, bread, rice, wheat wraps, white potatoes, etc.

 

DRINKS

Water

Kombucha drinks or tea

All kinds of tea, but especially green tea (no sugar added)

Coffee (no sugar added)

 

OTHER DETAILS

Sleep 8 hours or more per night

Drink a gallon of water every day, as well as green tea

All vegetables and fruit should be organic

Adding lemon to your meals is great – it alkalizes the body

You can have a small piece of dark chocolate 85% cacao or higher, but not every day

Use stevia powder as the only sweetener

 

Much love!

Valeria

 

 

BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU FEEL INSIDE

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Children sleeping
Snow is softly falling
Dreams are calling
Likes bells in the distance

We were dreamers
Not so long ago
But one by one
We all had to grow up

When it seems the magic slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas Day

Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There's so much to celebrate

Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe

Trains move quickly
To their journey's end
Destinations
Are where we begin again

Ships go sailing
Far across the sea
Trusting starlight
To get where they need to be

If you just believe
If you just believe
If you just believe

Just believe
Just believe...

May the heart guide our next steps!

Much love!

Valeria 

 

Source:  Song "Believe” by Josh Groban

 

TURN EXERCISE INTO A SPIRITUAL ACTIVITY

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It's important to be aware that fitness can become a dangerous addiction, even when we practice our deepest spiritual understanding on a daily basis. I caught myself overtraining after spending days in meditation. As this demonstrates, we can never underestimate our habitual tendencies. Although spiritual knowledge—coupled with the guidance of our own hearts—can prevent exercise from becoming an unhealthy practice, it is my belief that we still need to surround ourselves with those who are on the path to “true health.” By doing this, we can create the environment that will allow us to practice our virtues consistently.

Finding the most enjoyable way that you can to unite your body and mind can turn any exercise session into a spiritual activity. Since everyone is unique, here is a simple solution: bring the heart into everything you do! 

 

Much Love!

Valeria 

HOW WE LOVE MUSIC...

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“...Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on...”  - “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin

Did you know that the songs we listen to are interconnected with our personalities?

For example, the genres that Explorers favor more than other Roles – namely, electronica (68%), hip-hop (49%), pop (74%), and reggae (35%) – may most frequently match the Explorer mood: energetic and in the moment. Whether it is a fast-driving techno beat or a reggae groove, Explorers may look for music that is more textural than intellectual, evoking an immediate, visceral response.

Here is a summary breakdown from recent studies:

Blues fans have high self-esteem, are creative, outgoing, gentle, and at ease

Jazz fans have high self-esteem, are creative, outgoing, and at ease

Classical music fans have high self-esteem, are creative, introverted, and at ease

Rap fans have high self-esteem and are outgoing

Opera fans have high self-esteem, are creative, and gentle

Country and western fans are hardworking and outgoing

Reggae fans have high self-esteem, are creative, not hardworking, outgoing, gentle, and at ease

Dance fans are creative and outgoing but not gentle

Indie fans have low self-esteem, are creative, not hard working, and not gentle

Bollywood fans are creative and outgoing

Rock/heavy metal fans have low self-esteem, are creative, not hard-working, not outgoing, gentle, and at ease

Chart pop fans have high self-esteem, are hardworking, outgoing and gentle, but are not creative, and are not at ease

Soul fans have high self-esteem, are creative, outgoing, gentle, and at ease.  ... READ MORE...

Much Love! 

Valeria

Source: blog bufferapp and 16personalities.

SELF-ESTEEM & KINDNESS

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It has been said (and I believe it to be true), there is strong evidence that the higher our level of self-esteem, the more likely we are to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.

With this in mind, let's be on the lookout for some basic mistakes that can make us age faster: 

  1. Not getting enough sleep

  2. Avoiding (healthy) fats

  3. Eating too many processed foods

  4. Not consuming enough bone broth

  5. Failing to minimize stress

  6. Not exercising

  7. Using the wrong beauty products

  8. Having too much sugar in your diet

  9. Not consuming enough biotin

  10. Not taking a probiotic .... read more...

Much Love!

Valeria

 

Source: Healthy Holistic Living 

 

MOVING WITH CONTENTMENT

When you’ve found joy in your own heart, you’ll have a much different experience when exercising. There should be a body and mind connection where you are in the moment: enjoyment without fear—there’s less concern with your physical health. You are simply respecting the natural law of cause and effect— satisfaction before, during, and after your exercise sessions; you feel anxiety-free about your next workout.

Exercise is a great habit to cultivate, but it should not be an obsession. There should be no expectation to get specific results, apart from improving your overall health. There should be no guilt when you don’t exercise. The main motivation should be to live longer and be physically healthy so that you can do more spiritual work on yourself and also help others to do the same.

My advice is that you find your own unique way to connect with that deep feeling of love within you while moving your body.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

UNHEALTHY MOTIVATIONS TO EXERCISE

Although physical health is an important asset, the reasons we engage in exercise can still become unhealthy. Being mindful about your motivation for hitting the gym or engaging in any physical activity is helpful if you are looking for spiritual growth and self-knowledge. Be on the lookout for these unhealthy motivations to exercise:

·      The need to be thin to feel good every day.

·      Pressure to look good and lean to attract a new partner or to please an existing one.

·      Feelings of insecurity about a specific body part.

·      Fear of not being loved by others if you are out of shape.

·      Guilt for not exercising every day or more often.

·      To release stress caused by a changeable situation.

·      To release anger.

·      To show off, get attention, compete, or provoke envy in others.

·      To fight or to intimidate others.

·      Out of pure habit and without enjoyment.

·      Shame.

·      Pressure to be a role model in your family, work, town, or society.

These are just some examples. Keep in mind that behind all these reasons to work out, there is fear, and it is fear that makes them unhealthy. 

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.