love

LISTENING TO THE HEART WAS MY ONLY CHOICE

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"After days of dwelling on my detached feelings and memories of the past charged with discontent, there was a moment of silent melancholy and then a question. This question would change everything: ‘What would you do if you were still alive?’ 

I knew the answer well.

I’d listen to my heart..."

Much Love,

Valeria

LOSE WEIGHT - FIND JOY

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Below you will find a sample of the diet that I was on for about two years before I competed with WBFF – World Beauty Fitness and Fashion. This dietary system, combined with weight lifting, can be of great help for losing weight, staying in shape, and building muscle and strength. But as I have mentioned throughout my book, Fit for Joy, this type of regiment mainly focuses on the physical body, which is only one aspect of our being. We are so much more than just our bodies! The approach to fitness that works the body in isolation from our mind and our spiritual heart is not what I do today, professionally or personally. My work at the moment is about integrating conventional physical fitness with spirituality.

These meal suggestions are only to illustrate what my personal journey was like. They are not approved meal-plan recommendations.

BREAKFAST Option One

8 oz cold water with a probiotic supplement

1 tablespoon matcha green tea + ½ lemon

7 walnuts

1-2 whole eggs

BREAKFAST Option Two

1 salmon filet oven-roasted with coconut oil

5-10 walnuts

Steamed Kale

BREAKFAST Option Three

Steel-cut oats, almond milk, berries

Green tea

 

LUNCH

Any lean meat of your choice: white fish (sole, cod, flounder, or halibut), grass-fed red meat, tuna fish, wild salmon, chicken breast, turkey breast, sardines in water.

Eat with steamed veggies or a green salad.

Avoid sauces; instead use olive oil, apple cider vinegar, and avocado oil for salad dressing.

Snack - Best Options:

1 tablespoon spirulina shake with ½ oz. frozen organic berries and a teaspoon of coconut oil

Green juice (no fruit added)

Protein shake (whey protein)

Nuts (walnuts, macadamias, pecans, Brazil nuts)

Raw coconut flakes

Celery, cucumber, or carrots with almond butter

Kale chips or dried seaweed

Raw cheese (unpasteurized)

Sweet potato chips (homemade)

 

DINNER

The same options as lunch

*Important – Avoid:

Alcohol

All sugar and sweets

Regular fruit, except for berries and green apples

Starchy carbs such as pasta, bread, rice, wheat wraps, white potatoes, etc.

 

DRINKS

Water

Kombucha drinks or tea

All kinds of tea, but especially green tea (no sugar added)

Coffee (no sugar added)

 

OTHER DETAILS

Sleep 8 hours or more per night

Drink a gallon of water every day, as well as green tea

All vegetables and fruit should be organic

Adding lemon to your meals is great – it alkalizes the body

You can have a small piece of dark chocolate 85% cacao or higher, but not every day

Use stevia powder as the only sweetener

 

Much love!

Valeria

 

 

CALLING FOR FITNESS AND SPIRITUALITY

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My six o’clock client was not a regular. A fellow female trainer had had to leave due to an emergency, and asked me to take her client that day. I filled in for her as a substitute trainer.

Steve was a fifty-seven-year-old businessman who seemed to be under a great deal of stress. I could tell this just by being around him for a few seconds. He gave me a serious, almost intimidating impression, and breathed heavily. We were introduced in a hurry by the other trainer as she ran out the door.

Steve looked at me with an expression of quiet impatience. He was in good shape and looked strong. His chest area was well developed, leading me to think he must have been lifting heavy weights for years. I could tell he was very proud of his chest.

Before I could ask him about his training routine, he gave me the workout for that day. His program had only four exercises: barbell bench press (155 lbs — 12 reps), incline chest press (50 lb dumbbells — 12 reps), floor push-ups (20 reps), and incline dumbbell flies (20 lbs — 12 reps). If you understand something about muscle-group training, you will notice that Steve’s workout had only chest exercises.

I looked at his program and said enthusiastically, “Great! Let’s do it!”

I set up the barbell and began the first workout on the list. I was ready to spot him if he needed it, standing close to the bench behind his head. As he ended each rep, I cheered him on by saying things like, “Great job, Steve. You’ve got it! Nice work! Keep the energy! You can do it! Wonderful! You are doing it right! Don’t give up! One more left! Nicely done!”

In truth, I was talking to myself. I needed to hear my own enthusiastic words, given the day I’d had. I noticed something unusual when I took a glanced quickly at Steve’s face to make sure he was okay. He was looking at me and smiling as he lifted the heavy weight. He’d finished lifting without saying a word, but he smiled. I didn’t exactly understand the reason for his happiness, but I was glad his serious and stress-filled expression was gone.

 

Considering he was a new client, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to begin a conversation about my early insights into fitness and kindness. Nonetheless, I asked him trivial questions, which he didn’t answer. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy interacting with others when I’m with them. I like separating things: There is a time to be fully alone, and a time to be fully with others. In a trainer/client relationship, there are moments to focus on the exercise, moving and breathing properly, and also moments when we can talk.

 

Steve’s behavior was making me feel incredibly awkward. Concerned but trying to stay cool, I followed him around with my cheerful chatter. His behavior didn’t change. The studio was quiet; there were only a few people working out with their trainers. No one seemed to notice how uncomfortable I was around Steve.

Once again in my life, I felt stuck. I didn’t want to stay there, but I couldn’t leave. I tried to stay calm and do my job well.

We went through the workouts. In the end, Steve was sweating, still with a smile on his face. Before we said goodbye, he asked for my name again, then mentioned that he liked my training style. He also inquired if I could train him from that day on. I politely explained to him that my schedule couldn’t fit another client.

In truth, if my heart had not begun to guide me toward fitness and spirituality, I would have accepted his offer. 

Much love!

Valeria Teles

 LIFE OR BODY TRANSFORMATION?

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Diana was next. We met at five in the evening.

She came in ten minutes early and hustled past me on her way to the locker room, saying, “It’s been another busy day. Give me the hardest, most beast-mode circuit you’ve got, Valeria.”

My energy was very low at this point. I really didn’t want to train another client, especially a high-energy person like Diana. She was thirty-four years old and exercised every day in the morning before she went to work. Whether embarking on a life or body transformation, the journey often leads to personal and professional growth. For those inspired to start their own business in this transformative period, checking out a Zenbusiness LLC review can be a great first step to understanding the best way to legally structure your new venture.

Her jogging sessions lasted an hour. She usually met me in the late afternoons for her weight training.

Today was an upper-body session. While she lay under a sixty-five-pound loaded barbell, doing twelve reps of military presses, I asked her, “What is the most important thing in life to you, Diana?”

She was so focused on her reps that I wasn’t sure she’d heard me. As usual, she was having a serious conversation with the barbell. We didn’t tend to talk much. Her workout mood had always been to get the job done as well as possible and then leave the studio.

A few seconds later, she put the bar back on the rack. The next exercise was ab work, and she knew it. We had the circuits programmed in advance. She moved briskly to the yoga mat on the floor to do a set of twenty reverse crunches.

Her breathing was heavy. The circuit was intense. She was never happy with anything light or easy. I was still waiting for an answer to my question as I kept track of the number of reps, but I didn’t ask it again.

On the floor, while doing a quick stretch—bending her knees close to her chest while keeping her legs together—she said, “The most important thing to me is to keep moving forward through the days. When I wake up in the morning, I have a to-do list in my mind. I just go through it naturally. It’s a clear, focused, and precise daily plan I accomplish by the end of the day.” She finished her answer by the assisted pull-up bar, after fifteen reps.

Diana had been moving fast for the last thirty minutes. She performed all her exercises with the same focus and precision as she checked off her to-do list.

“Do you like your job?” I asked.

She was so focused on her spider plank ab work that her favorite movie star would have gone unnoticed had they walked by us. Sitting on the mat, wiping her face, she said that she got her job done, made great money, and was proud of herself. She worked out hard in one of the best fitness clubs in New York, and could afford my high personal training fees. She laughed and added that she ate out all the time, traveled, went out with friends for drinks; serious relationships and love were too complicated to give attention to.

You know that feeling when there’s nothing you can say to someone because they’re too busy listening to their own thoughts? That’s how I felt.

After we finished the workout, I reflected on how Diana’s life was not that different from her to-do list. It was programmed. She’d been in a cycle of living according to rehearsed habits, and her life had turned into a running race with no finish line or winners, an existence driven by nonstop actions. There was no space left to even think about love.

Diana followed the exercise program and ate clean while training with me. She achieved the fit and athletic look she wanted in three months. Her body composition transformed, but I wish her life had, too.

Much Love!

Valeria Teles

FLAT BELLY ONLY!

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My next appointment was with Destiny at noon.

She called to say she would be almost twenty minutes late. I stared out at the street from the studio. There were many things going through my mind that day, even though my feeling of unhappiness was not connected to any of them. It was cold and windy outside, and I expected Destiny to come rushing in any minute.

Destiny was one of the most cheerful clients I had. She always went straight to me with a big smile, and gave me a tight hug and a kiss before we started training. She was a mother of two kids, taught school, and was overweight. Destiny was a high-energy woman with a very unusual fitness goal: to lose belly fat only. She trained with me three times a week.

When we met two months ago and I asked her about her fitness goals, she told me her husband would love to see her with a smaller belly, wearing the new pink swimsuit he’d bought for her that summer. She shook a colorful water bottle and took a sip, adding that she knew she was a bit overweight, but she liked her voluptuous body—except for her belly fat. Her husband had said all she needed to do to look great was lose belly fat.

It was not the first time I’d heard this kind of fitness request from a client, and I was used to it. I proceeded to explain to her that spot reduction was not possible with exercise and diet, and that while working out with me, she’d lose fat in her body overall, not only around her belly. Despite this, she was excited to get started. I don’t think she understood me.

We started training from that day on. She was doing great. Destiny had lost almost twenty pounds so far.

After a long, melancholic wait by the window, she came rushing in. She looked serious and worried. It was the first time she didn’t greet me with a hug and kiss. I hoped nobody had died.

We sat down on the sofa in reception. I faced her, but she looked down. She said she’d wanted to meet me in person to say something important. She didn’t want to send an email.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She said she couldn’t do it anymore; I had helped her reduce her belly size and feel better, but she’d noticed that her thighs and buttocks were shrinking, too. It wasn’t what she’d expected. She was looking down the whole time, about to cry.

I listened to her quietly. I didn’t have much to say.

Destiny thanked me, then stood up and walked away.

 

Much Love!

Valeria Teles

 

 

OUR OWN CREATED PRISON

Given how exercise, diet, and even therapy can become traps for a painful emotional reality, it’s crucial for us be aware of the fundamental causes of our suffering.

Think of how we might sometimes consciously (or unconsciously) believe that we are not good enough or not worthy of happiness. When this happens, we then begin to work hard in pursuit of this worthiness.

As a result, anything external that gives us the illusion that we deserve happiness for our effort will also become our own created prison.

This cycle of sustaining habits out of fear turns exercise and diet (or whatever our external source of happiness is) into negative forces, thus compounding the root problem as we live for our bodies and for conditioned emotional stability through abusive mechanisms.

This can cause disharmony within the heart, creating a state of mind where true happiness cannot exist.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

ESCAPISM & FITNESS HABITS

The links between my painful past and fitness became clear to me after a period of major inner turbulence. I knew that most compulsive behaviors had their roots in traumatic experiences, but I never connected my obsession with fitness with my lingering inner pain from the past. I believed I was a strong person who had overcome pain because I had a fit and healthy body to prove it, as well as a life that seemed to be driven by (and built on) authentic and exciting experiences. However, the truth was that my fitness habits, to a great extent, were escapism.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

PAST: "LESSONS OF LOVE"

Bringing back our traumatic experiences is one way to understand the pattern of our limited view of life, especially a spiritual one. We must learn to reinterpret hurtful past events as “lessons of love,” in the sense that we recognize that everything that happens to us is an effect of a cause we have created ourselves. It took the Buddha’s teachings of karma for me to understand my own life and mind. However, it’s my belief that we don’t have to be Buddhists to see how painful past events can turn our present lives into a nightmare when we view them as purely negative.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

DIET OF THE HEART

Many of us feel compassion when preparing or eating animal flesh, and some even reject meat at childhood. This is not an accident. We all live in different spiritual realities and levels. What is interesting is that those of us who have had profound spiritual experiences often don’t trust them to be real. I believe this is because we are too immersed in, and attached to, our physical reality. We are basically in denial of the interconnectedness of our reality.

The way I see it, food cravings (though certainly not all of them) are directly connected to anxiety and fear. This may be because the mind has associated happiness with pleasure, and since pleasure and pain are closely related, suffering becomes a tasty experience. The body, on the other hand, craves food and sex for self-preservation and perpetuation, not pleasure. It’s interesting to notice that only the heart is rooted in love and kindness. It has no cravings that can cause us suffering. The heart cares for our being as a whole, and it also for others—happily and healthily embracing everything as a big family.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

MOVING WITH CONTENTMENT

When you’ve found joy in your own heart, you’ll have a much different experience when exercising. There should be a body and mind connection where you are in the moment: enjoyment without fear—there’s less concern with your physical health. You are simply respecting the natural law of cause and effect— satisfaction before, during, and after your exercise sessions; you feel anxiety-free about your next workout.

Exercise is a great habit to cultivate, but it should not be an obsession. There should be no expectation to get specific results, apart from improving your overall health. There should be no guilt when you don’t exercise. The main motivation should be to live longer and be physically healthy so that you can do more spiritual work on yourself and also help others to do the same.

My advice is that you find your own unique way to connect with that deep feeling of love within you while moving your body.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

UNHEALTHY MOTIVATIONS TO EXERCISE

Although physical health is an important asset, the reasons we engage in exercise can still become unhealthy. Being mindful about your motivation for hitting the gym or engaging in any physical activity is helpful if you are looking for spiritual growth and self-knowledge. Be on the lookout for these unhealthy motivations to exercise:

·      The need to be thin to feel good every day.

·      Pressure to look good and lean to attract a new partner or to please an existing one.

·      Feelings of insecurity about a specific body part.

·      Fear of not being loved by others if you are out of shape.

·      Guilt for not exercising every day or more often.

·      To release stress caused by a changeable situation.

·      To release anger.

·      To show off, get attention, compete, or provoke envy in others.

·      To fight or to intimidate others.

·      Out of pure habit and without enjoyment.

·      Shame.

·      Pressure to be a role model in your family, work, town, or society.

These are just some examples. Keep in mind that behind all these reasons to work out, there is fear, and it is fear that makes them unhealthy. 

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

LET'S BE HEALTHY TOGETHER

If you are like me (someone who can’t stay away from physical activities), integrating fitness and spirituality is essential. How many of us have struggled to answer the question of how to take good care of our bodies, without falling for preconceptions regarding physical attractiveness and health?

The answer can be very simple, but highly complex and paradoxical at the same time.

The closer we live to our spiritual hearts, the less we tend to engage in physical activities as purely beautifying or self-cherishing methods—even when these activities promote good-looking bodies, health, and higher self-esteems.

At this point, we are wiser, joyful, and peaceful enough to work on our bodies, so we hang around longer to support others with our virtues. 

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving!

EXERCISE THE MIND FIRST

The pursuit of a fit and healthy body can only be a wonderful thing when we’ve already recognized our spiritual hearts as perfectly fit to provide us with a life of happiness and peace. In other words, a fit body can make us smile more often as a result of all the compliments we get, improve our health, and give us a temporary “happy” feeling of accomplishment. However, without a content mind and a joyful heart, this feeling won’t last long.

Since our health and feel-good state depend on external conditions and constant hard work (which can propel us into an endless cycle), I propose the following: Let’s work on achieving a more stable feeling of happiness, rooted in kindness, that can then result in a healthy and fit body.

Much love!

Valeria

TRULY STRONG

During one of my “fitness role model” training days, I was climbing a high set of steps outdoors in an intense workout session. Many people passed by me, including an overweight mother who was having a hard time carrying her baby down the steps in its stroller.

I passed her at least three times as she struggled to get down, but it never occurred to me to help her. All my mind could think was that by passing her as fast as I could and as many times as possible, I would inspire her to engage in exercise so she could lose weight and be healthy.

Later, a couple passing by called me strong and courageous. Had I actually been strong and courageous—enough to be listening to my spiritual heart—I would have stopped to help the mother and her baby.

Yes, I would still be exercising for enjoyment and physical health, but I would be motivated by love and compassion. It would have been an action based, not on “look how good I am,” but on “here I am and look, someone needs help.”

Much love!

Valeria 

LEAVING HOME WAS A DREAM!

The limited physical reality most people live in is a painful one. We entertain ourselves with achievements, pleasures, and excitements. But we also suffer dissatisfaction, confusion, and disappointments, and we lack wisdom in the face of sickness and death. It’s hardly fun to dwell on the past, worry about the future, and constantly fight to maintain what we think we have or to acquire what we believe we lack. This kind of worldly life is an endless marathon toward suffering, but it can be replaced with joy when you access the truth inside your own heart.

After investing many years in physical and psychological health, I finally realized that true health comes from knowing the depths of our own hearts and the nature of life. With this knowledge, all my external searches for happiness and peace ended and a joyful celebration began. You don’t need to find the way back home when you realize that leaving home was only a dream. 

Much love!

Valeria 

HAPPINESS AND SERENITY

Happiness and serenity have a lot to do with being in the present moment. However, many people do not achieve this state because they dwell on the past or become preoccupied with how to escape it by living for a “better” future. When we project (or stake) our happiness on the hypothetical achievement of a future circumstance, we sabotage our ability to be happy in the present. This reinforces a self-destructive mindset that likely will persist into the magical “future” we are hoping for. 

To release yourself from this trap, you must shift your life toward a spiritual reality that transforms pain into joy. When you understand that the essence of your nature is not the thinking mind but rather a spaceless and timeless quality inside of you, compassion will arise and you will be free of unnecessary pain. Once you establish yourself in that place of love and kindness, everything will become love, or a lesson of love. While physical and mental health are valuable, realizing who you are at the heart-level is much more critical for happiness and serenity.

Much love!

Valeria  

EXERCISE AND LOVING-KINDNESS

Exercise, diet, and even therapy can become traps for a painful reality; in some ways they can make it worse. For example, if you consciously (or unconsciously) believe you are not good enough or not worthy as a whole human being, you might work to become fit in pursuit of such worthiness. This mindset, however, creates the trap of sustaining habits out of fear, turning exercise and diet into negative forces and compounding the root problem as we live for our bodies through abusive mechanisms. Disharmony within the heart occurs when we forget to recognize that love and kindness are what life is all about.

Much love!

Valeria 

 

 

INTENTION MATTERS

Where I come from in Brazil, an attractive body is worshipped as if it were a god. I was taught not only to strive for physical beauty, but also to be obedient, to serve, and to smile. It took years of suffering from inner conflict for me to accept my imperfect body and to find my way back to the intuitive faith in my heart. This heart had always known my true identity as a spiritual being, even though my rational mind could not accept that as truth. You might know well what I am talking about.

This was the main reason, for pretty much all of my life, that I pursued a fit and healthy body. To this day, daily exercise is still something my mind craves. What I do, then, is integrate exercise for the body with food for the soul! Every experience can become spiritual when we have the intention to be loving and kind. 

Yes, we can enjoy our fit bodies as long as we know that true happiness only comes from our own hearts! 

Much love!

Valeria 

JOURNEY TO THE HAPPY YOU!

If you are like me and are inclined to engage in physical activity, integrating fitness and spirituality is essential. For many, many years I struggled to answer the question, “How do I take good care of my body but not fall for preconceptions about physical attractiveness and health?”

The answer was very simple, yet also highly complex and paradoxical. The closer you live to your spiritual heart, the less you tend to engage in purely physical activities and beautifying methods, even if they promote a healthy body and high self-esteem. This is because your spirit knows that sickness, old age, and death are inevitable. The time we have on earth is too limited to concern ourselves with the impermanent aspect of our existence. Every second becomes a valuable chance to recognize our true nature and to realize who we are in the spiritual reality.

When you know that there is a lot more to you than a body and a thinking mind, but you don’t know how to access that deeper part, you end up struggling between the two. This journey in limbo can be interesting, especially because it can teach you to have compassion for your own body. The paradox is that even giving attention to thoughts about fitness and health can lead you to believe that you are a physical being whose psychological needs must be met in order to feel good or to be whole. At this level, you are not living a spiritual existence yet.

However, this is all part of the journey to reaching the happy you. Listening to the heart, so that we can live more and more as a spiritual being, can bring our existence to a conscious space where life becomes a loving and joyful adventure that renews itself with every moment.

 

Much love!

Valeria 

ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOUR HEART?

How do you know that you are listening to your heart and not your habitual self?

We can’t stop the flow of thoughts. They will always polarize our minds. However, the nature of our thoughts, and the degree to which they command our attention, can change radically depending on lifestyle and spiritual practice. Here is my list of eleven signs to let you know if your heart is becoming master over your mind: You…

Live without judgment. When you look at yourself in the mirror or make a mistake, you are kind or even playful. This extends to how you see and treat others. 

See others as fellow souls. When engaging with others, you feel joy. You appreciate their uniqueness. There is a feeling of a deep connection you can’t explain. You recognize them as fellow souls. Your don’t wonder how each person will benefit you; your relationships are free of ego.

Live in the moment. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, there is a magical quality to it. Your thoughts focus on the now. Memories come when called to assist you with what is happening in the present. This is especially helpful when engaging with others. You feel a much stronger desire to be present when with others.

Live serenely. In the heart’s reality there is no time, space, or fear. Anxiety is linked to fearful thoughts about the past or the future. Without these limiting conceptions about who you are, you feel free and calm.

Live simply. Your life is simple and your mind is clear. Because you know much about the nature of existence, you also know that there is no reason to complicate anything.

Enjoy silence. Because your heart is in touch with different levels of reality, it demands silence from your mind. Those who listen to the heart treasure quietude.

Revive in joy. Passion and excitement are replaced by joy. Passion is often linked to desires and pursuits of temporary achievements, while joy is rooted in renewal, love, and acceptance of what is.

Appreciate nature. Feeling at home in nature is a sign that your heart is in control, at least in that moment. Nature’s spirit is the same as the essence of who you are.

Experience Oneness. You feel the deep connection between you and everything in the universe, including all suffering.

Stay playful. You become almost child-like at times, but your presence and words are as deep as old age.

Practice compassion. You are someone who rejoices in helping others because you recognize that life is essentially suffering, but you are joyful and peaceful because you know who you are! 

Much love!

Valeria