A Quest for Well-Being Interview with

SHERMIN KRUSE — SHER

1. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE WHO YOU ARE IN THIS VERY MOMENT?
In this moment, I’m a mirror—reflecting stillness, strength, and compassion in equal measure. I’m a mother, a mentor, a student, and a relentless truth-seeker. I’m a storyteller who bridges logic and emotion, a guide for others and very much a work-in-progress myself. I bring forward the lens of Stoic Empathy—a commitment to live with both inner discipline and radical compassion.

But I also trip over my own feet—literally and metaphorically. I get way too many parking tickets. I oscillate between moments of deep intellectual clarity and moments where I feel completely lost, wondering how anyone ever really knows what they're doing. Some days I feel grounded and whole; other days I feel like a walking question mark in nice shoes.

The idea of a fixed self has never quite resonated with me. I believe we’re in constant revision—shaped by what we survive, what we choose, and what we’re willing to confront in ourselves. And I’ve chosen to become someone who leans into that uncertainty with curiosity rather than fear. And through it all, my family is my anchor and my compass. They keep me honest. They remind me who I’m beyond titles and achievements—just a woman trying to do right by the people she loves, trying to stay awake to the beauty and absurdity of it all. So who am I? A mosaic of contradictions. A student of truth. A little clumsy. Often clear, sometimes clueless—but always reaching, always becoming.

2. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL SUCCESSFUL?

I think we often conflate happiness with joy, fulfillment, or success—but they each live in a different part of the soul, integrating and overlapping with one another like a brilliant Venn diagram. For me, happiness is a daily practice of presence. It's in the fleeting, exquisite moments: the sound of my children laughing in the other room, a perfectly ripe peach, a song that demands I dance in the kitchen, the deep exhale after a hard conversation met with grace. These are moments of joy—immediate, sensory, and alive. I try to welcome them into every single day, even when life is heavy. Especially when life is heavy.

Fulfillment, on the other hand, runs deeper. It’s the quiet knowing that I’m aligned with my purpose. That I’m using my voice, my mind, and my heart to move others closer to truth, courage, and integrity. Success, for me, isn’t measured by accolades, because as great as external validation feels, let’s face it, it’ll never be enough. If I go instead by impact—when someone tells me that a conversation, a talk, or a sentence in my writing shifted something inside them. Or I see first hand my own small blueprint on the world. When others walk away more aware, more empowered, more awake to their own strength. I feel true success, and perhaps complete, if only for a moment.

And while I’m deeply focused on fulfillment—on doing meaningful, difficult, often invisible work—I never want to forget joy. It’s not a distraction from the mission; it’s part of the reason for it. Joy is what keeps the fire from burning us out. It’s what makes the striving worthwhile.

So yes, I love dancing. I love laughing with my children. My mother’s cooking, my sons wrestling, and my daughters’ voices. I love the rhythm of writing when I lose track of time and being in the arms of someone who loves me. These are not small things—they are the pulse of a life well lived.

3. WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO BECOME WHO YOU ARE AND TO DO WHAT YOU DO TODAY?

As a law professor, former equity partner, TEDx producer, and speaker, my path has always been one of navigating complexity—across cultures, disciplines, and human emotion. I’ve operated in high-stakes environments where precision was paramount, and in deeply human spaces where silence carried more truth than words. Through it all, I kept returning to a set of persistent, unshakable questions: What is power, really? What does it mean to influence without force? Can we hold empathy without losing discernment? And how do we become fully ourselves in a world that often rewards performance over principle? It was not only the injustice I witnessed—though that shaped me—but also an insatiable curiosity about the nature of being itself: how we regulate our inner world in the face of external chaos, how we balance agency with surrender, compassion with clarity. And—just as importantly—it was my mistakes that shaped me. The missteps, the overreaches, the moments I didn’t listen well enough or led from ego instead of essence—those too were part of the making.

And the difficult-to-acknowledge truth is that I was also shaped by far baser instincts: jealousy, resentment, pride. I don’t pretend otherwise. But there’s also the long, sometimes grueling, and often beautiful process of shedding them—layer by layer, year by year. Those experiences humble me, refine me, and teach me that strength without softness is brittle, and clarity without self-awareness is incomplete.

Out of that space—where personal experience, philosophical inquiry, and imperfection met—Stoic Empathy was born. Not as a reaction, but as a design. A fusion of ancient discipline and modern emotional intelligence. A framework to help people lead, live, and love with greater integrity and intentionality.

As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” That idea isn’t just a Stoic principle—it’s a radical invitation. One that continues to shape how I teach, speak, write, and live.

4. WHAT WAS THE INSPIRATION, INTENTION, AND PURPOSE OF WRITING YOUR BOOK AND WHERE CAN WE FIND YOUR BOOK?

Yes. My latest book, Stoic Empathy: The Road Map to a Life of Influence, Self-Leadership, and Integrity, was born from decades of observing power used with cruelty, and potential lost to fear. I wanted to offer a path that merges the timeless discipline of Stoicism with the transformative power of Empathy. The intention was not only to teach—but to awaken. It’s available wherever books are sold, including Amazon.

5. DO YOU CONSIDER WHAT YOU DO A CALLING, A PURPOSE, A MISSION?

All three. It’s a calling that won’t let me rest. A mission to build emotionally intelligent leaders. And a purpose rooted in helping people—especially those in positions of influence—lead with greater responsibility, compassion, and clarity.

Honestly, it’s also just a really cool way to make a living! I literally get paid to write and discuss philosophy with and for brilliant others who uplift my spirit and mind. Who wouldn’t welcome such a life?!

6. WHO WOULD BENEFIT MOST FROM YOUR WORK AND YOUR MESSAGE?

Those who lead, create, teach, or parent with the weight of responsibility on their shoulders—and want to carry it with courage and care. Deep thinkers who ask dangerous questions. Brave souls, whether soft-spoken or outspoken, who seek fierce clarity and the ultimate power that’s self control. Anyone yearning to build a life of influence without ego, and an inner world rooted in discipline, integrity, and grace.

7. WHAT IS IT LIKE WORKING WITH YOU FROM A CLIENT’S PERSPECTIVE?

Whether through a keynote, a book, or a classroom, people describe their experience with my work as intellectually rigorous, emotionally resonant, and quietly transformative. I don’t offer quick fixes or easy inspiration—I offer frameworks that challenge, language that clarifies, and stories that stay with you. My role isn’t to prescribe, but to provoke reflection, shift perspectives, and ignite principled action.

8. WHAT IS HEALING TO YOU?

Healing is integration. It’s not about erasing pain—it’s about facing it, understanding its message, and allowing it to become part of your story without letting it define you. As Rumi wrote, “Don’t get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure.”

Thus, true healing isn’t the absence of discomfort, but the development of emotional tolerance and internal sovereignty. It’s learning to sit with your pain without being consumed by it, to examine it with compassion rather than resistance. Healing allows you to transform suffering into meaning, chaos into clarity, and reaction into choice. It’s a reclamation of control—not over the external world, but over your inner landscape. When we heal, we don’t silence our wounds—we learn to speak their language, and through that fluency, we gain both strength and serenity.

9. WHAT IS THE GOAL OF HEALING AND WHAT ARE THE OBSTACLES TO IT?

The goal is inner sovereignty and power—the ability to respond, not react. To lead ourselves. The obstacles? Ego, avoidance, cultural conditioning, and our fear of sitting with discomfort long enough to learn from it.

10. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MISCONCEPTIONS MOST PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT HEALING?

That it’s linear. That it always feels good. That once you’re healed, you’re done. That you must first name every wound before you can begin to mend it. Healing is rarely tidy. It’s cyclical, layered, and often invites us back to pain we thought we’d already outgrown—not to punish us, but to show us how far we’ve come, and how much further we can go.

Another misconception is that healing requires total clarity or revelation before it can begin. But sometimes, healing happens in the dark. We can begin to feel lighter even when we don’t fully understand what was weighing us down. That, too, is valid. We don’t need to stare directly into every wound to begin the process—we need only enough awareness to act with care.

The task, then, is to find a version of awareness that’s both safe and true. To see just enough of the injury to work with it responsibly. And then, to apply whatever agency we have—whether through boundaries, reflection, connection, or simply the decision to keep going. Healing isn’t about control over the past; it’s about exercising control over how we carry it forward.

11. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MISCONCEPTIONS MOST PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT HEALING?

That healing always looks like light. That it’s soft, serene, or always wrapped in forgiveness. But sometimes healing is rage—righteous, clarifying rage that finally gives voice to years of being silenced. Sometimes it’s the silence itself—a refusal to explain, justify, or re-engage with what once wounded you. Sometimes healing is a boundary that says, “No more,” even if it shatters expectations or relationships.

A survivor might need to confront her abuser—not for reconciliation, but to reclaim her own voice in the space where it was once stolen. Another person might find healing in walking away without a single word, choosing peace over permission. For some, healing comes through fire—through naming what hurt them; for others, it comes through refusal—through the quiet act of no longer giving the wound a microphone.

Healing can be fierce. Confrontational. Uncompromising. And often, deeply rational. It’s not just about feeling better—it’s about seeing more clearly. It can be found listening to chants during a silent meditation, or while smashing a bottle with a bat in a rage-room. It’s the internal audit that says: this is no longer working, and I am no longer willing.

As Seneca wrote, “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” And to heal—honestly, imperfectly, on your own terms but while maintaining integrity—can be one of the most courageous acts of all.

12. DO YOU CONNECT HEALING TO SPIRITUALITY? AND IF YOU DO, WHAT IS SPIRITUALITY TO YOU?

Sometimes. But not always in the way we’re taught to think about it. I don’t believe healing requires a spiritual framework—but I do think the process of healing can often uncover something that feels spiritual, even for those who don’t use that language.

To me, spirituality isn’t about doctrine. It’s about the experience of being briefly—and often inexplicably—connected to something beyond the confines of our individual selves. That something might be God. It might be the collective human experience. It might be the ancient memory held in our bones. Or the stars we’re made of. It’s the sense that we’re part of a larger unfolding—mysterious, painful, beautiful.

Healing doesn’t guarantee access to that sense of connection. But it clears some of the static. It softens the ego just enough that we can hear something beneath our survival instincts. A kind of quiet awe. A kind of remembering. Not of who we should be—but of what we already are, beneath the defense mechanisms.

So yes, for me, healing often opens a door to the spiritual—not as a belief, but as an experience. And sometimes, that's enough.

13. WHAT DO YOU FEEL IS THE PURPOSE OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE?

To become fully conscious of who we’re and how we move through the world. To connect—genuinely, bravely—with others. To create beauty from complexity. To learn how to love with discernment and depth, without needing to possess or perform. And ultimately, to find comfort in the entirety of the human experience—the joy and the ache, the clarity and the mess. And along the way: to love the laughter of children. To smell jasmine drifting through a summer night. To eat a hearty, delicious meal with people you love. To move with abandon when your favorite song comes on. These small moments are not detours from purpose—they are its heartbeat.

And perhaps, too, to ask the question. Not with the expectation of an answer, but with the understanding that the asking itself refines us. Maybe the purpose of purpose is not to be found, but to be pursued—an orientation, not a completion. A reminder that meaning is not static, but emergent—revealed through how we choose to live, create, and connect, again and again.

14. AT THIS TIME, WHAT IS THE WORLD’S GREATEST NEED?

Disciplined compassion. The ability to feel deeply for others without losing clarity. To care without collapsing. To think critically while staying connected to our shared humanity. We don’t just need more kindness—we need courage tethered to conscience. Integrity that can hold complexity.

For one person, this might mean facing the fear of pain rather than numbing it—choosing to heal instead of hiding. For another, it might mean risking the thrill of vulnerability in the right relationship, even when past wounds say “stay guarded.” For a leader, it may look like making decisions that honor both people and principle. For a parent, it may mean allowing space for a child’s truth—even when it challenges your own.

Disciplined compassion asks us not to choose between heart and mind, but to refine both. To feel—and to act—with intention.

15. WHAT IS YOUR VISION FOR HUMANITY?

A humanity that reclaims the power of presence. One that moves away from performance, victimization, blame, and escapism—and toward strength, curiosity, emotional maturity, and collective power. A humanity that’s no longer driven solely by fear, scarcity, or ego—but instead learns to root its choices in discernment, integrity, and care for the generations to come.

I envision a world where we’re no longer governed by the illusion that accumulation equals success, or that perpetual competition is the only viable system. A world where dignity is not something earned through productivity, but something inherent in every human being. Where we solve for hunger and poverty not because it’s idealistic—but because it’s achievable, and just.

This vision finds a striking parallel in Star Trek: The Next Generation, where humanity’s future is imagined not as a utopia, but as a deliberate and hard-won evolution of values. In the pilot episode, Encounter at Farpoint, the omnipotent being Q puts humanity on trial, accusing us of being a savage, childish race. Captain Jean-Luc Picard is forced to defend not only the crew of the Enterprise, but the very worthiness of our species. And Q’s test—though theatrical—is deeply philosophical: are we capable of growing beyond our violent and selfish impulses? Are we still evolving, not just technologically, but ethically?

Seven seasons later, in the series finale All Good Things..., Q returns and reveals that the trial was never truly over. The real test wasn't of humanity’s knowledge or strength, but of its capacity to transcend linear thinking, to cooperate across time, and most importantly, to grow inwardly. As Q tells Picard, “The exploration that awaits you is not out there… but in here.” The future of humanity, Q suggests, depends not just on warp drives and starships—but on consciousness, humility, and the courage to expand our moral imagination.

And within one of their most profound exchanges, Q quotes Shakespeare’s Macbeth—

“Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage… a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

To which Picard responds—"not with irony, but with conviction’:

“What a piece of work is man. How noble in reason. How infinite in faculty. In form and moving how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a god.”

Q challenges him: “Surely you don’t really see your species like that, do you?”
And Picard, embodying the very hope I share, replies:

“I see us one day becoming that, Q. Is that what concerns you?”

That’s my vision: that we become that. That we rise not because of blind optimism, but because of determined effort. Because we choose to. Because we must. I believe that kind of evolution is possible—not inevitable, but possible.

And I believe we all share responsibility in shaping that possibility into reality. None of us is exempt. Every policy, every act of parenting, every vote, every story we tell—tips the scale. While a radiant future is possible, so too are many darker ones. Dystopia is not a prophecy—it’s a warning. And the future, as Q reminds us, isn’t guaranteed. It’s a question. One we must answer not just with our minds, but with our lives.

Humanity’s destiny won’t be forged solely among the stars—but in how we treat one another right here, in the messy middle. It won’t be measured in our speed, but in our depth. And if we’re wise—if we’re brave—we’ll explore not only the cosmos, but our own capacity to become something better.

(p.s. I also envision a world where nerdy Star Trek references suddenly trend on TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram all at the same time!)

16. WHAT DOES EMOTIONAL FREEDOM LOOK LIKE? AND HOW CAN YOUR WORK HELP?

Emotional freedom is when your emotions inform you, but do not control you. It’s not about suppression or detachment—it’s about discernment. Emotions are vital messengers, but they are not always reliable guides. Emotional freedom means being able to feel fully without becoming flooded, to pause before reacting, and to respond in ways that align with your values, not your impulses.

Through the lens of Stoic Empathy, we learn to hold space for our emotions without becoming enslaved by them. This means developing tools for emotional regulation, learning to identify the underlying beliefs that trigger disproportionate reactions, and cultivating self-command in high-stakes moments.

It’s the ability to feel anger without becoming destructive. To feel grief without losing your sense of self. To allow joy without fearing its impermanence. It’s what allows a leader to stay grounded during crisis, a parent to offer presence instead of panic, a human being to remain whole even in heartbreak.

As Viktor Frankl’s writing taught me that between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Emotional freedom is the foundation of true strength. And Stoic Empathy offers the blueprint.

17. WHAT IS YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE?

Love isn’t a fairy tale, and it’s not always forever. It can be fierce, grounding, expansive—and it can also fade. It’s not just something that happens to us; it’s often a choice. A discipline. A practice. Sometimes it arrives without warning, and other times it’s built, moment by moment, through presence and effort. Real love isn’t about possession or perfection—it’s about attention. It’s about seeing another clearly, flaws and all, and still choosing to show up.

Love doesn’t always look like romance or devotion. Sometimes it’s boundaries. Sometimes it’s letting go. Sometimes it’s staying when it would be easier to leave—but other times, it’s leaving when staying would diminish you both. It’s not passive. It requires courage, discernment, and the willingness to grow alongside someone—or even apart from them—with grace.

If it liberates, nourishes, and challenges you to become more yourself—not less—that’s love worth holding onto. But no, it’s not guaranteed. And that’s what makes it meaningful.

18. IS WORLD PEACE POSSIBLE WITHOUT INDIVIDUAL INNER PEACE? PLEASE ELABORATE ON THE CONCEPT OF PEACE.
It’s complicated. Inner peace matters—but it’s not a prerequisite for contribution, creation, or even justice. Some of the world’s greatest art, breakthroughs, and social change have emerged not from serenity, but from unrest—internal and external. Turmoil, when faced honestly, can bring clarity. Pain can shape vision. Discomfort can spark transformation.

But without some degree of inner integration, we risk projecting our wounds onto the world. We mistake reaction for righteousness. We confuse control with leadership. Inner peace, then, isn’t about being calm at all costs—it’s about cultivating enough awareness to act from purpose rather than pain.

Peace, in this sense, isn’t the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of understanding. It’s not stillness—it’s steadiness. And world peace, if it’s to exist at all, will be built not by perfect individuals, but by imperfect people who have made peace with their own imperfections—and who choose, despite their turbulence, to reach for wisdom, justice, and compassion anyway.

19. WHAT, WHERE AND WHO IS GOD TO YOU?

God is what remains when everything else is stripped away. God is in stillness, in the breath between thoughts, in the sacred pause before we react. But God is also the thread that connects us—all of us—across time, species, and form. Whether you see divinity through the eyes of faith or through the lens of science, there’s awe in the fact that we’re made of the same ancient stardust as the trees, the oceans, the pigeons, and the people we love.

We all originated from the same stars—the same singular beginning. Every element in our bodies was forged in the furnace of long-dead suns. That shared origin makes us kin, not just metaphorically, but materially.

To me, God is less a being and more a becoming—the quiet intelligence that pulses through all matter, the energy exchanged between strangers, the resilience shared across generations. It’s found in the vast silence of space and in the crowded beauty of a dinner table. Whether called God, universe, source, or connection—it’s that which reminds us: we belong to each other, and to everything.

20. WHAT IS CONSCIOUSNESS?

This is one of the deepest—and most elusive—questions we can ask. And perhaps that’s the point. Consciousness resists full definition. It cannot be captured in a single sentence, a theory, or a scan. We may never fully know what it’s—but we can get closer by exploring what it’s not.

Consciousness isn’t mere thought. It isn’t memory, sensation, or even awareness alone. It isn’t the stream of internal chatter, nor the habits we repeat without thinking. Consciousness is what notices all of that—the silent witness behind the noise.

It’s the faculty that allows us to reflect, to choose, to change. It’s the flicker of presence when we catch ourselves mid-reaction and pause. It’s what gives us the capacity to question our own assumptions, to feel wonder, to imagine a better version of ourselves.

And perhaps that’s its greatest gift: asking the very question “What is consciousness?” is the point. The act of inquiry—of staying curious, of peering into the mystery—sharpens our awareness and deepens our humanity. Consciousness, then, isn’t just something to define but something to inhabit, more fully, with each intentional breath.

21. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SUBCONSCIOUS AND THE UNCONSCIOUS MIND?

The subconscious is like a backstage crew—always working, storing patterns, guiding behavior subtly. The unconscious is even deeper: it holds the raw, often unseen forces that shape our beliefs, traumas, and instinctsThe subconscious is like the backstage crew of the mind—quiet, efficient, and always at work. It holds our habits, emotional associations, and conditioned responses. It knows how to drive a car, how to walk into a room and scan for safety, how to respond with a smile even when we’re uneasy. It operates just beneath awareness, but it can be observed, reshaped, and retrained over time.

The unconscious, on the other hand, lies deeper still. It’s the hidden architecture of the psyche—where core wounds, ancestral memory, primal instincts, and archetypes dwell. It can’t be summoned on command, but it leaks into our dreams, our fears, our compulsions. It’s the ancient language of the soul that hasn’t yet been translated into words.

Consciousness sits above and between them—like a beam of light that can be turned inward. With effort, we can use it to illuminate the subconscious and gently reveal aspects of the unconscious. This is the sacred work of self-inquiry and inner transformation. It allows us to identify inherited beliefs that no longer serve us, to recognize when our pain is speaking rather than our principles, and to make more deliberate choices.

But there’s a reason much of this material stays hidden: not everything beneath the surface is ready to be met. Sometimes we protect ourselves through forgetting. Sometimes the truth is too heavy to lift alone. It’s important not to always force it. To bring the subconscious and unconscious into consciousness is powerful—but it must be done with care, with support, and with readiness.

Because once seen, these truths cannot be unseen. And yet, in that seeing, if done carefully and thoughtfully, we often find freedom.

22. WHAT DO YOU FEEL IS THE NATURE OF OUR INNATE DESIRE FOR HUMAN CONNECTION AND SPIRITUAL TRUTH?
It’s a survival mechanism—and also a spiritual instinct. We long to be seen, felt, and understood not just by others, but by something greater than us. Connection is how we remember we’re not alone in our becoming.

23. IS THE AUTHENTIC SELF OR THE TRUE SELF, THE SPIRITUAL SELF?

Not necessarily—but they often intersect. The authentic Self is the part of us that exists beneath performance, fear, ego, and social conditioning. It’s the self that acts in alignment with inner truth, integrity, and justice—even when no one is watching. A deeply rational person, guided by reason and principle, can live fully in their authentic Self without ever invoking spiritual language.

But when ego falls away and we begin to move through the world with clarity, courage, and compassion—something profound tends to emerge. Some might call it sacred. Others might call it Stoic virtue, moral conviction, or simply the discipline of doing what is right. The names differ, but the orientation is the same: a return to what is essential, principled, and unshakably human.

Stoicism teaches us that the path to freedom isn’t in denying our emotions but in understanding and governing them. In that disciplined self-leadership, many find a connection to something greater than themselves—whether they define it as spiritual or not. The authentic Self, then, isn’t about belief—it’s about alignment. And whatever we call it, when we act from that place, we’re closer to truth.

24. HOW DO WE RECOGNIZE WHEN BODY AND MIND ARE ALIGNED WITH OUR TRUE SELF?

You feel both calm and powerful. There’s a quiet confidence—not the kind that demands attention, but the kind that comes from inner coherence. The body feels spacious, the breath steady. The mind is clear, and your actions flow from intention rather than reactivity.

It’s that feeling you have when you walk away from a conversation knowing you said exactly what you meant to say—no performative mask, no regret, no second-guessing. It’s when your internal compass and your external behavior are in sync.

In Stoic philosophy, it’s the moment after the archer releases the arrow. Before the release, all effort is within your control: your aim, your focus, your preparation. After the release, the outcome belongs to fate—the wind, the target, the world. Alignment with the true Self is knowing the difference between the two—and being at peace with how you showed up in the part that was yours to govern.

25. TALK TO ME SOME MORE ABOUT YOUR OFFERINGS AND SERVICES…

I offer executive coaching, keynote speaking, and transformative workshops focused on Stoic Empathy, leadership, and negotiation. I work both in-person and remotely with individuals, boards, and companies. I also offer speaker coaching for TEDx-style talks. My upcoming program, Stoic Empathy for Leaders, launches this fall. Free resources are available at www.sherminkruse.com, including a downloadable worksheet on emotional regulation tools.

26. WHERE CAN WE FIND MORE INFORMATION ABOUT YOU, YOUR WORK, PRODUCTS, SERVICES, AND YOUR FUTURE PROJECTS?
My book, Stoic Empathy, sells everywhere that books are sold, from your local book-store to Amazon. You can Visit www.sherminkruse.com, follow me on Instagram (@sherminkruse), YouTube (shermin kruse), or check out my podcast, Stoic Empathy. Honestly, if you just google me a million videos come up.

27. ULTIMATELY, WHAT IS FREEDOM TO YOU?

“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” — Epictetus

That quote lives at the heart of how I understand freedom: not as escape, not as entitlement, but as a disciplined return to what is truly ours to govern. Freedom is the absence of internal tyranny. It’s what emerges when we are no longer ruled by old wounds disguised as instincts, by inherited fear masquerading as caution, or by the roles we learned to perform to feel safe, acceptable, or successful. It’s not the ability to avoid challenge—it’s the capacity to meet challenge from a place of inner clarity.

We often confuse freedom with indulgence—the power to do whatever we want, whenever we want, without consequence. But that’s not freedom. That’s chaos wearing the mask of liberty. Real freedom is steadier. It lives in the space between impulse and action. It’s the ability to pause, to reflect, to choose—not from reactivity, but from intention.

And freedom, necessarily, is tied to responsibility. Not just to others, but to your future self—the person you’re becoming with every choice you make. Freedom demands that we carry the weight of our own agency without deflection or denial. Responsibility gives freedom its ethical shape. It’s what separates purpose from power, choice from indulgence, liberty from harm.

Freedom is also relational. You’re not free if your actions come at the cost of someone else’s dignity. You’re not free if you cannot love without possession, disagree without cruelty, or be alone without unraveling. To be free is to be able to live honestly within yourself, and justly among others.

And like love, freedom isn’t something that just happens to us—it’s something we build. Slowly. Imperfectly. Through truth-telling. Through letting go. Through the uncomfortable but necessary work of self-inquiry and moral clarity. Through knowing what is and isn’t within our control—and acting wisely within that space.

To be free is to be able to live with yourself. Not just the polished self you present to the world, but the quiet, private self you sit with at the end of the day. The one who knows what you meant, what you evaded, and what you stood for.

When that relationship is honest—when you can meet yourself without shame or illusion—that’s when you know: you’re free.

28. IF LIFE HAD ONE PURPOSE, ONE PURPOSE ONLY, WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

To become a conscious participant in your own becoming.

Not merely to exist, but to evolve—intentionally, honestly, and with courage. To shed what no longer serves, to confront what you’d rather avoid, and to choose again and again who you are in relation to the world around you. To live not as a reaction, but as a response. Not as a performance, but as a practice.

Life’s purpose isn’t comfort. It’s coherence. It’s learning to live in alignment with your values, your power, your humanity—and to do so with enough grace that you leave space for others to do the same.

If there’s only one purpose, perhaps it is to remember, across the noise and forgetting, that you are not here to win or prove or accumulate—but to become. And in that becoming, to contribute something honest and whole to the brief, magnificent unfolding of the world.

29. WHAT EXPERIENCES DO YOU WISH EVERYONE TO HAVE BEFORE THEY DIE?

I hope everyone, at least once, gets to feel seen—without having to be impressive, agreeable, or useful.
I hope they make one reckless decision for love or art and survive it.
I hope they forgive themselves for the things they did when they didn’t know better—and also for the things they did when they did.
I hope they stand at the edge of something terrifying—grief, ambition, truth—and choose to walk toward it.
I hope they feel awe that isn’t curated: the kind that ambushes you in a piece of music, a tree you almost didn’t notice, or the face of someone who still believes in you.
And I hope, at least once, they get to know what it feels like to be both fully alive and fully at peace—even if it only lasts a moment.

BIO

Shermin Kruse (most people call me Sher) is an author, speaker, professor, and TEDx producer who helps leaders, teams, and organizations master resilience, influence, and the power of human connection. Her new book, Stoic Empathy (Hay House, April 2025), introduces a groundbreaking framework that fuses Stoic resilience with deep emotional intelligence, giving readers practical tools to navigate high-pressure decisions, lead with confidence, and build meaningful relationships in business and life.

Sher’s work is deeply rooted in experience. From growing up in war-torn Iran, fleeing to the West, and later becoming a successful lawyer, speaker, and executive coach, she has spent her career helping people harness both strength and connection to create lasting impact. She has been featured in Forbes, The Chicago Tribune, The Huffington Post, and on TEDx stages, speaking on leadership, negotiation, resilience, and emotional intelligence. She also works behind the scenes, producing TEDx events, coaching speakers, and consulting with CEOs, entrepreneurs, and corporate teams to help them master the art of influence, communication, and decision-making.

Sher brings high energy, deep insights, and engaging storytelling to every conversation—and she’s excited to bring that to your audience.

Website: https://www.sherminkruse.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sher.kruse

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sher_kruse/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shermin-kruse/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEnWQF0ONo-IE2PLsBI2Eg

Stoic Empathy Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stoic-empathy-with-shermin-kruse/id1744005230

Podbean: https://sherminkruse.podbean.com/

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stoic-empathy-with-shermin-kruse/id1744005230

TEDxReno (236K views): Negotiating From a Place of Weakness Using Cognitive Empathy

TEDxOschKosh (50K views): Stoic Empathy: The Synergy of Compassion and Resilience | Shermin Kruse | TEDxOshkosh