THE HEALING SPIRAL

This is my favorite passage in “The Soul of Caregiving” by Edward M. Smink Ph.D

— In a culture that demands perfection in all that we do, it is difficult to reconcile that we, as caregivers, skillful and talented as we can be, don’t have all the answers and are confronted with our limitations, personal issues, and woundedness. What within us draws us to the woundedness of others? A skill we often underestimate. Another more poignant question that challenges our imagination and curiosity is: What is it within a person, whether caregiver or the one in need that draws each to labor with, endure, and come to terms with woundedness, illness, and traumatic events? A mystery not to be solved, but to be explored. This ability to enter into, to hold, to guide, and to sustain oneself or another through the mystery of being a caregiver is best described as the archetypal image of the wounded healer.

To say that love is a wounded healer is to imply, on the one hand, that caregivers bring to each situation their human capacity to care, to be empathetic, to heal, and create positive outcomes. At the same time, and almost simultaneously, caregivers can be confronted with their limitations, particular boundaries, woundedness, and vulnerabilities that life brings. Herein lies a truth about the paradox of caregiving: a wounded healer responds to one in need, and conversely, the person in need is given the opportunity to be an agent of healing for the caregiver. The very act of caregiving becomes transformational and may lead to the caregiver’s personal and professional growth. Now wait a moment, this seems to be backward, but it is not.

Our previous discussion in Chapter Five recalls the insight of William Augsburger who spoke about the unique relationship between caregiver and client. Simply put, it means that when the caregiver is sensitive to his or her own limitations and woundedness, h/she is better able to understand the woundedness of the one in need and to respond with compassion. This leads to a greater awareness, insight, a change of heart and growth. For purposes of our discussion, we are all caregivers in one way or another.

As discussed earlier, caregivers are parents who care for their children, adult children that care for their parents, spouses who care for each other, first responders, police, firefighters, emergency, medical responders, healthcare professionals, and educators to name a few. The archetype of the Wounded Healer conveys the inner reality that within the healer, the person doing the act of caregiving, is woundedness, and within the one wounded, the one seeking care from the caregiver, sleeps a healer.

There is a similarity to the Buddhist symbol of the yin and the yang which acknowledges that within darkness there is a spark of light, and within the light, there is a shadow of darkness. The caregiver’s sensitivity to the woundedness of the one in need is borne out of his or her self-knowledge and experience of woundedness. Likewise, the healer function within the one seeking care is activated by the sensitivity and compassion of the caregiver. Guggenbühl-Craig refers to this dynamic as the healer-client function or what we understand as the caregiver and the one in need. He maintains that when a person seeks a caregiver and healer, an intra-psychic or ‘inner healer’ or ‘healing factor’ is also energized.

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