CREATIVITY AS THE ANTIDOTE TO SCARCITY

This is my favorite passage in “Resilience: A Workbook: Powering Through Adversity to Find Happiness” by Kathryn Den Houter.

 

Where does creativity fit into the personality of resilient individuals?

While listening to a presentation on overcoming scarcity with creativity, I acknowledged the absolute significance of being creative when confronted with life’s upheavals. It was at this time that I had an epiphany. 

Ah, yes, I thought, this quality was clearly present in my most resilient clients. The clients who were successful in spite of difficult lives have been creative. Their thought processes were resourceful, and not reactive. Instead, they became proactive and forward-thinking as they tackled life’s most difficult challenges. 

Family stories of the Depression Era came to mind, a time in our country when everything was scarce. Women made woolen quilts with scraps from old worn-out men’s suits. They made braided rugs from clothes that were thrown in the ragbag such as old coats and Sunday suits.

People saved every scrap and piece of old clothing to use. My grandma used old silk stockings to stuff pillows.  Gardening was more than a hobby since vegetable gardens were essential for survival. Holes in the soles of shoes were remedied by inserting pieces of cardboard inside the shoe. Lovely dresses were made from feed sacks. If you couldn’t afford a belt to keep your pants up, a piece of clothesline rope would do. People survived because they were inventive and creative in spite of their shortfalls. This attribute is indispensable today since survival strategies in our world are in short supply.

Thinking creatively to solve complex problems today is in even more of a demand.  Two of my clients with this quality come to mind. Both were mothers who were raising sons by themselves. For sure, there were many differences between Dee and Cheryl, but the spiritual aspects of their journeys were quite similar.  Both of them endured divorce due to marital tragedies.

One lost her husband due to his infidelity, and the other to mental illness. With a broken home and broken dreams, these women had to be creative in the face of huge losses.  The plight of the single mother encompasses scarcity and suffering.

First of all, there isn’t much money when the main breadwinner abandons the family. Also, there is the heartbreak of broken dreams and family dysfunction caused by pre and post-divorce struggles. Having two sons is a mighty challenge for intact families, but even harder for single mothers, since these families have few or no male role models. However, like so many challenges in life, when done successfully, the rewards are great.

Dee and Cheryl were always trying to determine how to help their sons. They wanted them to respect women without being dependent on them. They wanted their sons to be assertive, but NOT overly aggressive or angry. Most important, they didn’t want their boys to be singled out or to be picked on by other boys or men. 

Their fathers simply were not around to provide support and instruction when they needed them. Boys want to learn how to be brave and strong in a man’s world and it is in the day-to-day hustle and bustle that sons need their fathers.  With absent fathers, the mothers had to learn to run their own households. Often these moms would second-guess themselves because they had never lived as men. They had to stretch themselves to understand what it meant to grow up male in our society. Dee and Cheryl had to put themselves in their sons’ shoes to determine what they needed emotionally, spiritually, and physically. They did double duty by being both mom and dad. This forced them to become creative in the face of this scarcity.

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