PLAYING WITH YOUR MANY IDENTITIES FOR A GENUINE, AUTHENTIC, JOYFUL SELF!

Here is an inspiring and insightful book that has created some changes in my inner and outer worlds: “The Eagle That Drank Hummingbird Nectar: A Novel About Personal Transformation In Business Leaders” by Aneace Haddad

 

— Can you laugh and play with your many identities? Can you see that all of these are masks? Can you let go of outdated labels even if you still love them very much? That’s when your genuine, authentic, joyful self can shine through, more complex, and more beautiful, than any label could possibly capture.

The easier labels were at the top of my list, leaving tougher labels at the bottom, like tech founder, CEO, and chairman, father, and ex-husband. Instead of starting from the top, which I did last time, I decided to go straight to the labels that were holding me back.

I am not a “tech founder,” I am not a “tech founder,” I am not a “tech founder.”

The declaration, using air quotes exactly as described in the exercise, brought up memories and feelings of loss. The same effect that I had last time I did this.

I am not a “tech CEO,” I am not a “tech CEO,” I am not a “tech CEO.”

This produced sensations of loss, vulnerability, and loneliness. There was an aching in my chest, and a sense of numbness similar to how it felt when my marriage broke and I finally told my twenty-year-old Val that her mother and I were getting divorced and her response was, “It’s about time.”

We love holding onto the person we used to be through warm, nostalgic memories, even if they are sometimes painful. The neural ruts are familiar and comfortable. It takes no effort to fall into the well-traveled circuitry. Nostalgia feels good. Jumping out of the ruts takes conscious effort.

Then it hit me. I was experiencing grief. These labels were all dead and gone. I had already come to terms, somewhat, with no longer being that person, although there was still some grief involved. The problem popped into my head with an instant, simple solution — add the word “former” in front of the labels. That was how I actually described myself, a former tech CEO. I hadn’t been focusing on the right labels, the ones that were still alive.

I am not a “FORMER tech founder, CEO, and chairman.”

This declaration was scary. It took effort to say these words.

I wasn’t a tech CEO anymore... so that would always make me a former tech CEO. That was a permanent label that could never be taken away.

Some of the thoughts and beliefs around your labels might feel fixed and permanent. Pushing too hard to contradict them can be frightening. The air quotes help you playfully approach labels with care and acceptance

The air quotes softened the declaration and invited me to go deeper.

What would it feel like to not have that title? No more “former tech CEO.” What would my professional life be based on if that label disappeared?

I am not a “tech CEO” ... I am just “Aidan.”

I was about to force my mind to stay focused and not go down a different rabbit hole, but then decided maybe that’s where the exercise would lead to. So, I let my mind wander.

Simply listen to your inner conversation without trying to guide it anywhere. You’re not trying to get to a conclusion or reach an objective. Simply become aware of the conversations within you that usually happen at a subconscious level. This awareness loosens up your belief system…

ON AMAZON!