— One of the key concepts we can teach our children is that their role in this world, their unique fingerprint, is different from anyone else’s. We each have a unique gift to bring to the world that breathes outside tribal thinking, family of origin, and all the constructs we try to throw over our newborns as we dress them in binary clothes and give them toys we want them to play with because that was done to us. It’s what the tribe expects. Imagine what each child, given the permission to really shine who they are at their core, would be if allowed to do this for themselves. Because we are students of the lessons taught, this can be hard to accomplish, but imagine what the world would be like if we moved forward in that direction.
If you could be anything, if anything was possible, what would you be? Sometimes we ask this question to children who often parrot back what they feel is the acceptable response. I remember this question from my own youth. I often told everyone I wanted to be a lawyer because that seemed to make people react positively in some way. Had I admitted I wanted to be a writer, or that I could actually have a main job as a writer, I’m not sure I would have gotten the same encouragement.
For this reason, I am a huge advocate of mentoring. When I was in middle school, I had a counselor who believed in me and gave me a vision I did not have for myself. As an adult, I have made an effort to pay that forward with my children, with my students, and with young people I have mentored along the way. One of those people is Ellie.
Ellie came to a book signing for my book First Break. Her Grandma Ellen brought her. About a month later, she sent me an email and told me she wanted to get into UCLA as a transfer student and asked if I could take a look at her admission’s essay. This began the process of me learning about Ellie’s uniquity, her amazing spark as an artist. She was a storyteller, first wanting to tell stories with tattoos on skin, and then wanting to tell stories with paint on walls. She wanted to tell stories that were hard to tell, and she had an ability to do it. Over the past four years of watching Ellie emerge into what I see will be a world-famous muralist and university graduate, the first in her family, I am convinced she will make the world a brighter place with her art. She has already started mentoring others and continues to recruit mentors to help herself. It’s a beautiful cycle.
One of the books I give to almost every person younger than 25, and found it myself about that age when I was working at a high-paying job in law firms where I was miserable, is What Color is Your Parachute? This bible to understanding your strengths, talents, weaknesses, what matters to you, and basically what you should be doing with your life, has been updated so many times I don’t even know what version it’s on and it doesn’t matter. When I read that book, it gave me what I think is missing in trying to figure out who you are and your life purpose. It gave me hope and vision about my place in the world.
We are not taught this in school, or at least I wasn’t. Our education system always seems to have its own identity crisis, which I really noticed during my Master of Arts in Teaching work. Nobody seemed to be able to agree on the simplest things like how to teach children to read or how to teach them math. The theories were always changing. Camps of people lined up behind walls of whole language, phonics, new math, old math, whatever textbook companies were pushing. Discovering who uniquely you are? Well, the curriculum didn’t allow time for that.
Instead, that would have to be found in all the extra-curricular junk we throw our kids in with the hope that something will stick (or, worst case, they will have a strong college application with four years of something that looked like they liked it) and they can find who they really are that way. Then, one thing leads to another, and pretty soon they find themselves waking up to a whole new reality as Shadyac and Carrey did.
Circling back, Shadyac had an awakening when he traveled the world making “I Am.” It helped that he was able to have the world classroom, that he had the money to go and talk to all the world’s luminaries and in that time and sacred space, really learn that as a species, we are naturally about collaboration, not competition, as he’d been taught. He’s got a new gig now, surrounded by young mentees, back in the film space in a new state, but with a different flare based on his conscious awakening about what’s important and who he is, a new sacred space emerging.
Who are you? What is your calling? These are such hard questions; one friend shudders when I ask and changes the subject immediately. Distraction is much more comfortable for her in the short run, but I keep asking because I feel deeper happiness and joy lies on the other side of that awkward wall, and we want to get there. This isn’t just for your own happiness and joy, but that of the world, because as we’ve seen, we’re all connected. When you take a moment to really ask yourself those questions and get to the answer, you not only help yourself, you help all of us – and all of us we really need you deeply.
Light Lift 6: Know Thy You-nique Self
This is a starting point. Take this free character survey to determine your key strengths. It will take about 20 minutes. There is an extended survey you can pay for, but the free test is quite sufficient to start. Next, buy What Color is Your Parachute? and do the exercises there. I’ve bought that book for nearly every mentee I’ve ever had, including my own children. This link will get you to the survey: https://www.viacharacter.org/reports
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— Intuition can transform your world. Enter into your intuition with curiosity, a beginner’s mind wanting to learn. Love yourself. Be graceful, letting your perfectionist take a nap while you play.
I’m now a huge proponent of these crystal tools and use them to incubate dreams, deepen meditation, give to friends, and aid in past-life regression and future-life progression (for myself and others). They increase intuition and smooth the edges on dreams. They deepen meditation. As we all carry energy, so do they, and perhaps this is why. I try not to get too hung up on the why. I’m more interested in what works.
There is an abundant supply of tools out there, courses to take, books to read, workshops to explore to increase intuition if this is something that appeals to you, as it does to me. In the meantime, become a student of your own reactions in your body to things. That will teach you so much.
Don’t expect cheerleaders. I have yet to find many of those in my life who encourage me to trust my intuition and recognize how strong it’s become over the years. The few I have are priceless gems. Do expect critics and doubters. I have plenty of those. Don’t let them dim you down. Remember, their skepticism is about them, not about you. Be your own cheerleader. Keep practicing and know that by developing your intuition, you’re making the world a better place.
