Jenn Bruer

THE POWER OF LISTENING TO YOURSELF WITHOUT JUDGMENT

An inspiring and insightful passages in “Helping Effortlessly: A Book of Inspiration and Healing” by Jenn Bruer.

 

— Do you ever listen in on your thoughts and notice a trend?

The idea behind listening in on yourself without judgment has been truly miraculous for me. It has allowed me to really separate from my thoughts. Achieving autonomy over thoughts is an incredible feeling. Separating from my thoughts has shown I am not my thoughts. And you are not your thoughts. Thoughts are powerful and important, yes, but for the most part we haven’t truly exerted our control over them. We live under the false assumption that our thoughts just happen and that we have no control over them. But once we control our thoughts, we can eventually control our feelings.

When you hear your thoughts, and identify them as negative, stop and observe. Notice that when you become an observer of your thoughts, you begin to sense there are two of you. That other person is your ego. The ego isn’t a bad thing; we all have one. We want to love our ego and acknowledge that it was meant to keep us safe. Our ego is the shallow part of us and we learn to live happily alongside it. Don’t be alarmed if, when you first listen in on your thoughts, you notice trends you didn’t even know existed. (Like the time I realized I was overusing the word “infestation,” usually in reference to rodents living in my back-yard deck, or harmless household spiders.)

The person observing your ego is the real you, the true you, the one without the need for all the social structures. That’s the you that never needs to succeed a day to know your worth because, success is not something the real you needs to know, ever. That observer in you is the tallest mountain, the clearest diamond, the rarest gem that resides deep within you, me and all of us. That is where your truth resides. When someone held you as a newborn, this incredibleness was all that you were because you were free from ego. Even then, you helped because when someone holds a newborn baby they are helped by pureness, by the pure gift of love. This is the person I want to help you get to know.

The practice of gratitude is one way to begin to know the real person. As you observe your thoughts, try to reframe the negative ones into positive ones, by being compassionate instead of loathing yourself. Consider, for example, these statements that I have heard repeated in so many variations over the years: “How can I call myself a social worker?” or “When was the last time I helped anyone?” or “Aren’t we just making things worse?” It is within our control to actively search for a better feeling-thought such as: “I enjoy going into the office each day and seeing Charles, he is so funny and such a friendly, loving person,” or “I am so grateful to have a job, some people can’t find a job.”

This is about identifying truths that are more positive and feel better than the negative things that may also be true. We can all agree that there are things in our lives that could be better or, let’s face it, that completely suck. This isn’t about me trying to convince you that your life is butterflies and unicorns, this is about turning your awareness onto the things that don’t suck and away from the things that do.