— I endured a difficult childhood, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I believe that as humans we learn best through contrast. I needed to be born into a family that couldn’t love me so that I could learn to love myself and in return teach others to love. I have a belief that everything is intended to help us grow into our best, highest selves. In this way of thinking, nothing is trying to harm or punish us. I believe this is the truth because I have learned complete contentment, and I’m not sure I would have understood this love had I not experienced the opposite.
When I am working with people to help them find happiness, I am coming from a place of knowing. I know absolutely that it is possible for anyone to be truly happy, regardless of his or her circumstances or origin. The amazing thing about this is that it is all within our own control. It is all about our conditioning and our beliefs about ourselves and what we think we deserve. When we learn to shift these beliefs, we shift everything.
My clients are on a journey with me. As I am learning and discovering things in my own life, I weave these teachings into my counseling practice. Anything that I am utilizing in my practice comes from what has worked for me. I have deep empathy for those who suffer, and because I have learned how to create happiness out of struggle, I know that no one should settle for suffering. Therefore, I am tenacious in my patience with others in their search for happiness. I know it’s possible to create happiness, and I also know that it’s not difficult, although it seems impossible at times. Happiness is always available to us, always within our reach.
I want to help as many people as possible understand this process and to help them learn how to love themselves. I have been in practice for 20 years and have helped hundreds of people find happiness and live a more authentic life. With this book, I hope to reach a wider audience and share the tools that have helped not only me but also my clients. We all deserve to be happy. This is our birthright. Just think how things would shift in our world if we were all coming from a place of absolute self-love.
ON OPENNESS
— Openness is being open to what life has to offer. If we pay attention, we will notice that we open and close throughout the day. We also have ways of thinking or have had experiences that close us down to certain aspects of life, or sometimes everything. We close down to protect ourselves. We believe we are keeping ourselves safe, but the problem with being closed is that we are also closed to the positive things we want to experience as well. For example, if we believe we have been hurt by love and we decide to shut ourselves off from love in order to keep from being hurt again then when love comes along we won’t be open to receive it. Remember, love actually never hurt us in the first place. It was anything other than love that hurt us. Love can never hurt us.
We are always safe with love. Sometimes we might be closed to love because we are reserving it for the “right” person, or maybe we are afraid to be loving to everyone because we don’t want to give people the “wrong” idea. Any of these ways we are closing only keep us from love because we are not open to receive it. We can love freely, knowing we can trust ourselves to manage any situation that presents itself. Remember, love cannot hurt you, so when anything arises other than love, you will know what you need to do in that moment. We always have everything we need to manage any situation in the present moment.
Practice: Throughout the day practice being aware of whether you are open or closed to love. Another way to say this is: Is your heart open or closed? What do you notice that helps your heart open? What do you notice that makes it close? See if you can practice remaining open when you feel inclined to close. Please be gentle with the part of you that wants to close. Let this part of you know that she is safe—that love can’t hurt her, that she has everything she needs to keep herself safe.
