Professor Of Nursing At Emmanuel College, Author And Speaker
Healing Conversation #207
— Valeria interviews Janice Bell Meisenhelder the author of Surviving the Unthinkable: The Loss of a Child.
“Trust your instincts. Your inner voice will guide you with each step that is right for you.”
For a bereaved mother, grief never ends. We always miss our children’s earthly presence. We always carry them in our heart. We always long to talk to them. Our yearning for our child gradually becomes one theme among several in our lives rather than our predominant tune. Over many years, our honoring moves from distressing mourning to a cherishing and treasuring of their lives. Our grief becomes mixed with gratitude for every minute and memory as we move from agonizing lamentation of the loss to a combination of sadness and bittersweet celebration of the life and gift of this child. Our continued honoring, talking, and remembering are all forms of celebrating this precious life and staying connected with our children. At some point, many mothers look back and realize that they have grown through all the trauma and loss. Their hearts did indeed enlarge. Their compassion is more encompassing, their self-knowledge more in-depth. Such personal growth in no way justifies our tragic loss, but it does equip us to better help others—to allow some redemption to spring from the devastation of loss. As you use your compassion to help others, so do you continue to celebrate the life of your child. May you find meaning in your journey, companionship along the road, and peace in your life. — writes Janice
Janice Bell Meisenhelder holds a Doctor of Nursing Science from Boston University. Her clinical nursing practice was at Massachusetts General Hospital in adult intensive care and oncology. She is currently a Professor of nursing at Emmanuel College in Boston, Massachusetts. Dr. Meisenhelder has published thirty-five articles as first author in professional, scholarly journals, the majority of which are original research. She recently published clinical guidelines for working with bereaved parents in the Journal of the American Association of Nurse Practitioners. She is a recent invited speaker at the national conferences of Bereaved Parents USA, The Compassionate Friends, and the Association of Death Education and Counseling, and a featured speaker for Open to Hope website.
