Dr. Carrie Freeman was widowed right before her thirtieth birthday, in 2001, just a few weeks after September 11th. She was married to a loving guy, Dave, who died during a stem-cell transplant at age thirty-one during his second bout with cancer—he first had bone cancer, followed by leukemia. They met in a kung fu class and were together in Florida for six years (married for two of them), and our only kids were cats.
While Dr. Carrie was mourning, she used every resource and tactic she could to help her cope: books, individual therapy, group therapy through hospice, friends, meditation and yoga, time in nature, exercise, uplifting music, funny movies, nutritious food, baths, tea, dark chocolate, and eventually antidepressants. She recommends we do it all; whatever it takes to help us.
Dr. Carrie also used journaling as a form of personal therapy and still do more than a dozen years later. The good thing about writing our thoughts in a journal is the privacy it offers – we can be completely candid with no one to judge us, and no one for us to bore, because we can choose to go over tedious or repetitious thoughts as many times as we want or need to. With a journal, we are free to express just how bad we really feel, without worrying our friends, family, and coworkers.
However, the point of Dr. Carrie Freeman’s work is not just to purge but to progress. The Widow’s Journal: Questions to Guide You through Grief and Life Planning after the Loss of a Partner is your comforting space for personal therapy and expression.
It’s also a guided planning process—a sanctuary for us to determine what we really care about, what we want, how we can bounce back to experience joy again, and what we should do to make our lives meaningful in this new and unexpected chapter after losing our life partner.
Unlike many books on grief, The Widow’s Journal doesn’t tell us what we should do or feel, and it isn’t a memoir or collection of other people’s stories. Instead, similar to a workbook, it asks you relevant, frank, and provoking questions so we can better clarify and understand what we are feeling. Sometimes it lets us wallow, but primarily it asks us how we can better cope and take care of yourself, how we want to interact with others (including potentially dating again), how we want to commemorate our loved one, how we want to live our new life, how we can find meaning and purpose by helping others, what we regret, and what we appreciate.
Valeria interviews Dr. Carrie P. Freeman — A lifelong journaler, she used her personal writing to help deal with the loss— and ultimately created The Widow’s Journal, a valuable tool for others experiencing the heartbreak of losing a partner. After being widowed, Dr. Freeman channeled her energy toward earning a Master’s in Media Studies from University of Georgia (2004), followed by a doctorate in Communication & Society from University of Oregon (2008). Studying media ethics, social movement advocacy, environmental communication, and animal media studies, she has presented her work at conferences worldwide and authored numerous scholarly journal articles and books as an Associate Professor of Communication at Georgia State University in Atlanta. She previously worked in human resources, focused on professional development and personal growth training in Florida (her native state). At the four universities she has been affiliated with, she has been active in animal protection student group leadership (and even in the founding of several of those groups). She has also volunteered for a decade as a radio host on Radio Free Georgia, producing weekly shows on animal and environmental protection topics at the community radio station down the block from her apartment in Atlanta, where she lives with her dog Elliott, surrounded by stacks of books, too many pillows, random antiques, and photos of her many travels prior to the pandemic. In her free time, she enjoys nature walks, dog parks, writing, travel photography, comedy programming, playing board games, and sketching tiny house and treehouse designs. From her porch, she and her dog both enjoy watching squirrels, birds, and chipmunks, but for different reasons.
