“I trust what my heart tells me because the essence of my life, the soul of me, is what never changes.”
There are certain things I want to tell my nieces and my grandnieces before I check out. Maybe they already know. They are all a lot smarter than I will ever be. But along with the title of “crazy old auntie” has come some wisdom. Okay, dear nieces, one and all, here is my list. Take note:
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HATE YOUR THIGHS. No one ever got smarter or kinder because of the size of their thighs. Please try to remember that you are a human being and not a chicken part.
LIFE IS NOT AIRBRUSHED. For about twenty seconds when you are nineteen years old, you have perfectly flawless skin and great hair. This is just before you start to age by advertis- ing standards. Screw advertising standards! The lines in your face and on your hands will tell you more about character and substance than unlined skin or silky hair. And trust me, only women in shampoo commercials have hair that silky. The rest of us either have mouse fur or horse manes that no amount of the right shampoo can change. But I digress, so I’ll repeat: life is not airbrushed. It’s not supposed to be. It’s full of flaws, imperfections, and messiness. If your life doesn’t contain these three elements, then you are not really living.
LIFE IS NOT NEARLY AS FUN, POLITE, OR SMILING AS WHAT’S POSTED ON FACEBOOK. Social media is not reality. No one smiles that way with their husband, their partner, their boss, or their friends all the time. In reality people sneer, stare, space out, and chew with their mouths open. Be real. Be vulnerable. Be authentic and be yourself . . . and don’t waste too much time on social media.
YOUR WEIGHT IS NOT A GAUGE OF YOUR WORTH, AND NEITHER IS YOUR BANK BALANCE. You are a lovable, pre- cious, beautiful woman, and it’s the contents of your heart that matters. Assess yourself and others by that single factor—the contents of heart—and you can never go wrong.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP AND BE FIRST. You don’t always have to take the smallest portion or sit in the aisle seat instead of next to the window. Claim the drumstick at Thanksgiving. Don’t always tell people “It’s okay” when your feelings get hurt. Take the time for self-care. Believe me, your family will not starve or wither away because you took the time to nurture your own self. You don’t always have to come last.
NEVER STOP READING. Fill your head and your heart with adventures and history, with fantasy and tales. Learn some- thing new every day. It keeps us young.
DON’T FREAK OUT ABOUT GETTING OLD. It doesn’t have to be life’s buzzkill. Instead, make sure you eat well—yes, that means vegetables—and get outside and exercise every day. This is what really makes a difference when you push past the half-century mark.
BE A SISTER TO ALL WOMEN. We are alive in a country at a time when women’s rights can never be taken for granted. Let’s make sure that we always advocate for women’s empowerment and commit to helping other women, not judging them.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE EVERY DAY. Life is shorter than we think. We demonstrate that we love life by celebrating it. It’s a total cliché, but that’s because it’s so true: make the time to dance, sing, and, most of all, laugh.
KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU. May your life be rich with love and goodwill, and may you never forget your crazy old auntie. I will keep you close in my heart forever. — Writes Stephanie Raffelock in her book: A Delightful Little Book on Aging
Valeria interviews Stephanie Raffelock - A graduate of Naropa University’s program in Writing and Poetics, she has penned articles for numerous publications, including The Aspen Times, The Rogue Valley Messenger, Nexus Magazine, Omaha Lifestyles, Care2.com and SixtyandMe.com. A recent transplant to Austin, Texas Stephanie enjoys life with her husband, Dean and their Labrador retriever, Jeter (yes, named after the great Yankee shortstop).
