Grief Is The Price Of Love
Grief Coach And Loss Support Life Reentry Practitioner
Healing Conversation #611
— "Grief never ends… But it Changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith… It is the price of love."
Valeria Teles interviews Brian Hartzman — a Grief Coach And Loss Support Life Reentry Practitioner.
Brian is a grief coach working with people struggling to find their footing in the strange new world they find themselves after experiencing the loss of something dear to them.
By his late 30s, Brian had reached what felt like the definition of success. He was almost 20 years into a successful IT career and, although he was divorced, his second marriage was "perfect,” bolstered by the lessons he’d learned from his first marriage. He and his new wife had a great co-parenting relationship raising his kids with his ex-wife and their very “modern” family was thriving. This seemingly perfect world was challenged when his wife was diagnosed with cancer. While they remained “strong” through her two years of treatment, she ultimately succumbed to the cancer. By the time he was 40, Brian had been divorced and now widowed, adrift in world that no longer felt safe or enjoyable. Feeling the need to “hold it all together” for his family and friends only served to further compound his grief and isolation.
These experiences brought Brian the gift of grief. As Brian learned, one can either break down or break open. We break down when we hold on to the world that no longer exists for us, but breaking open allows us to thrive in any possibility. In breaking open, a sort of post traumatic growth can happen as one sheds the ideas, they held about how they knew the world and their life to be, and live free of much of the stress and angst of that way of being. Brian found peace and a new life through leaning into his grief and embracing the Buddhist concepts of presence and impermanence. He is now trained in grief coaching and as a death doula and supports others as they struggle with grief and challenging life experiences – caretaking, eldercare, death of a loved one, or the ending of a significant chapter in one’s life. He also founded a support group for widowers to commune with others who “get it.” He learned that men struggle differently with grief in our western culture and how they are expected to grieve (be strong). The widowers group provides a safe place where that stereotype can temporarily be set aside.
Brian lives and works in Seattle, supporting clients locally and remotely.
To learn more about Brian Hartzman and his work, please visit: https://www.brianhartzman.com/
— This podcast is a quest for well-being, a quest for a meaningful life through the exploration of fundamental truths, enlightening ideas, insights on physical, mental, and spiritual health. The inspiration is Love. The aspiration is to awaken new ways of thinking that can lead us to a new way of being, being well.