Why People Cheat, How To Heal: Betrayal, Addiction & Rebuilding Trust
Healing Conversation #1317
— Today we’re diving deep into betrayal, infidelity, and the emotional aftermath. Why do people cheat—even when they love their partner? What drives repeated cheating or secret behavior? And most importantly, how can couples heal after trust is broken?
Valeria interviews Nicola Beer, a relationship and trauma therapist with over 20 years of experience helping couples and individuals navigate infidelity recovery.
Nicola believes that cheating is often a coping mechanism—sometimes even an addiction—and that full recovery is absolutely possible when both people are committed. Today she’ll walk us through what really happens emotionally, psychologically, and relationally after betrayal—and how to heal from it.
Nicola Beer is also a psychedelic retreat facilitator. She blends sacred plant medicine (primarily Huachuma/San Pedro), somatic therapy, and conscious relationship work to help individuals and couples heal emotional wounds, release stored pain, and reconnect to their inner truth. Nicola runs private healing retreats in Southeast Asia and hosts two podcast shows: Healing with Psychedelics and Relationship Revival. Her work focuses on turning trauma into transformation—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Podcast Healing with Psychedelics.
To learn more about Nicola Beer and her work, please visit: https://nicolabeer.com/ and https://plantmedicinepower.com/
Also, check out Nicola’s amazing offerings:
— Affair recovery masterclass https://click.nicolabeer.com/trainingnicolabeercomaffair-recovery-coaching
— Affair recovery pack https://training.nicolabeer.com/clarity
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SHOW NOTES
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SUMMARY
In this episode, Valeria interviews Nicola Beer, a trauma-informed therapist and relationship expert, who shares her insights on relationships, cheating, and healing. Nicola discusses her personal journey and how her experiences shaped her calling to help others. The conversation delves into the reasons behind infidelity, the emotional impact of betrayal, and the importance of rebuilding trust. Nicola emphasizes the need for self-love and compassion in relationships and explores the role of plant medicine in healing. The episode concludes with reflections on creating safe and healthy relationships and the significance of feeling loved.
TAKEAWAYS
Nicola Beer is a trauma-informed therapist and relationship expert.
Empathy for others often stems from personal experiences of struggle.
People can only be helped if they are ready to help themselves.
Cheating is often a form of emotional avoidance.
The story we tell ourselves shapes our reality.
Rebuilding trust requires deep emotional work and accountability.
Safe relationships allow for emotional expression and support.
Emotional abuse can be as damaging as physical abuse.
Self-love and compassion are crucial in healing from betrayal.
Plant medicine can facilitate deeper emotional healing and connection.
CHAPTERS
00:00Introduction to Nicola Beer
02:50Nicola's Journey and Calling
05:49Understanding Cheating: Emotional Avoidance and Trauma
08:51The Impact of Cheating on Relationships
11:48Cheating as an Addiction
14:49Empathy and Remorse in Cheating
17:38Working with Both Partners: The Cheater and the Betrayed
20:51The Recovery Process After Infidelity
24:27Navigating Infidelity and Trust Issues
25:36Reflections on Relationship Patterns
26:42Defining a Safe and Healthy Relationship
28:48The Five A's of Relationship Health
32:09Understanding Emotional Abuse
37:52Exploring Healing Modalities and Resources
41:21The Power of Plant Medicine in Relationships
SOUND BITES
"Cheating can be an addiction."
"Healing takes time and deeper work."
"We can be so hard on ourselves."
KEYWORDS
relationships, cheating, betrayal, trust, emotional healing, trauma, self-love, plant medicine, therapy, personal growth