MOVING FROM FEAR TO LOVE

An insightful passage in “Soulful & Successful Business: Spiritual Guidance for Succeeding in Your Own Business” by Nicole Bayliss

 

—  The Universe loves you. It created you and it only ever wants what is best for you. The Universe wants you to transform into the highest version of yourself. So even if things are happening that bring up fear in the form of negative emotions, there is always a loving reason behind it, even if you can’t see that yet. When we choose to see all that happens through the filter of love and not fear, it takes on a whole new meaning.

Fear exists to some extent in all of us. If you are feeling fear or a sense of lack in any area of your life, you are not alone. It’s normal and it’s human to have fear and to believe in lack. Fearing that there’s not going to be enough is a protective mechanism of the ego that keeps us vigilant.

Fear isn’t something we can push away or wish away. Telling yourself “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I’m not going to feel this way” is pointless and self-sabotaging. The only way to conquer our fear is to acknowledge it and accept it. Acceptance is love in action. Acceptance creates a vibration that connects us to the Universal Source. Accepting our fear is the first step in moving towards love and abundance.

When I started my business, I felt divinely guided to do what I wished to do and I felt grateful that I’d discovered my purpose. I felt grateful for the miracle of the 500 reiki deals. But that’s where my spiritual connection ended. I thought of the Universe as saying to me:

“OK, I’ve guided you to your purpose and what you need to do, so get on with it. My job is done”.

I didn’t understand that it would provide ALL that I needed in every moment of time if I kept my intentions.

The Reiki deals were beginning to come to an end and while I had to pay clients, there weren’t enough to provide me with enough income. I defaulted to “lack” thinking, and I began to think fearful thoughts. I needed to manifest more business. I was about to learn even more about the ingenuity of the Universe and a whole lot more about myself!

I proactively began to meditate and pray each day. As I accepted all as it was, I became aware that this quieter phase was a gift and not a loss. I began to sense that my path may not be as a traditional counselor. More and more I felt guided to follow my heart. I had been gaining a lot of insights and healing knowledge, and I felt inspired to write my first book Five Steps to Finding Love, based on the work I had been doing with the women who were coming to see me who were looking for a loving relationship.

Once I was clear on my intention, the person I needed to help me arrived at my practice door! Referred to me for Reiki by my client Veronica, her friend Daniel didn’t resonate with Reiki that much, but he had just the skills I needed to help me publish and market my first book. Daniel became an important part of my business for many years, as he had knowledge and skills I didn’t have. When the book was published, I was surprised by how many people wanted to buy it and even more surprised by how many more people were coming to see me.

For years I had been reading the tarot for myself and friends but had never considered it to be a “bona fide” modality to use as a counselor and reiki practitioner. I had come to know a healing practitioner called Jacqui who rented a room in the same building as me. She asked me to do a reading for her which she found helpful, and she suggested I bring it into my practice to help my clients. I felt resistant, fearing judgment and not being taken seriously. There is still so much judgment and misunderstanding about the tarot, but I trusted her suggestion, and her guidance was right. I began to draw to me people who needed life path guidance.

A year later, during a period of financial stress, another inspiration dropped in during a prayer and meditation session, to teach Reiki. Yet again, I was sent just the person I needed at the time. I met a Reiki Master who wanted to learn how to read the tarot. We agreed on a contra-deal - she would teach and attune me to Reiki 3 and I would teach her to read the tarot. Within weeks I was teaching groups. My income went up considerably and so did my level of fulfillment and purpose.

At every step of the path, the Universe sent me what I needed. The Universe sent me the means to find the resources I needed to start my business, it sent me new ideas and inspirations to keep going, it sent me the perfect people who were helpful and inspirational at the right time, and eventually, it sent me more clients and more money.

And believe me, if you feel a sense of inspiration and excitement about your business, then you will receive Universal help too. Universal connection is the way! You are always supported by a loving Universe. Everything that happens to us is created by a loving Universe, even the so-called negative stuff. Help is all around you when you decide to live your purpose. You are not alone. The Universe is wanting to work with you and to help you.

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YOU, AND ONLY YOU, CAN CREATE YOUR HAPPINESS

These are some of my favorite passages in “A Shift to Bliss: The Seven Beliefs That Limit Love, Happiness, Peace and Prosperity” by Nicole Bayliss

 

— Letting go allows in the new

The more willing we are to face our fears and let go of the old, the more we open ourselves up for the new. Many of us get “stuck” because we are unwilling to let go of something that is no longer serving us, or refusing to accept a loss we didn’t want. Then we wonder why our lives are not improving or changing in positive ways. Like cleaning out a cluttered cupboard of old unnecessary things so as to re-stock it with what we need now, we must not cling to the old and outdated, because there will be no room for the new. No profound and positive change can come into our lives unless we are willing to let go. If you have experienced a profound loss in your life that you have found difficult to accept, allow the space to understand that you chose this on a soul level in order to learn the lesson of letting go.

There is no way that anything new or exciting can happen in our life unless we are willing to release the things that are no longer serving us. As we let go of old beliefs, it will follow that we will need to let go of old ways of being, and of situations or people whom we no longer resonate with. Some people may simply fade out of our life; others we may have to walk away from. Letting go can be a profoundly painful process. If we do not choose to let go, however, we will remain “stuck”, unable to bring our blossoming inner truth into our outer lives, and we will not only feel unfulfilled; we will feel stagnant. Nothing can grow in stagnant energy.

When the winds of change begin to blow, there will be pain no matter what we choose. If our lives remain the same, we will feel bored, and unfulfilled. If we choose to change, the process will involve loss and uncertainty. The difference however, is that one path leads to more of the same perceived security and safety, while the other path leads to growth, personal expansion and feeling alive. There is a force underlying every life and when we allow ourselves to follow that force and not resist it, there is a beauty to the process of transformation. If we disregard that force, we take ourselves out of the Universal Flow and our lives feel blocked.

Our soul will continue to create the circumstances needed for our evolution. This may manifest as difficult relationships or circumstances, depression, conflict, illness or crisis. We have the choice to let go and follow our bliss and accept the consequences, or remain stuck in our old lives and accept the consequences. The choice is always ours.

Accepting the What Is

Accepting the What Is means allowing the present moment to be what it is going to be! It doesn’t mean that we give up on our hopes and dreams, but it does mean that we hold them “lightly in the palm of our hand”. We can think “Wouldn’t it be nice if ...?”, but we no longer need to think “I’ll be devastated if it doesn’t happen”. By accepting the What Is, we come into alignment with the present moment. In this alignment, we can feel peaceful.

Beware of “should”

Whenever we think or say the word “should”, our ego mind will be involved. The ego mind thinks circumstances “should” be a certain way, other people “should” behave according to its judgments, and we “should” do something based on unconscious beliefs that are not necessarily true. When we think in terms of “should”, we are in resistance to the What Is.

Beware of comparison

The old saying “Comparison is the thief of joy” is certainly true. Many of us compare ourselves and our lives to others’, which inevitably creates unhappiness. Because the ego mind constantly wants “more”, it will usually compare us to those it perceives to have “more” as opposed to those who have “less”, disrupting our sense of appreciation for what we already have. Furthermore, the ego mind will only compare through a very limited lens – “she makes more money than I do” or “he has a wonderful partner and I don’t” - it does not comprehend the whole picture, or consider that the other person may have challenges that are not on our ego mind’s radar. This can place us in victim mode, believing that life is unfair. We each have a unique soul journey that contains unique soul lessons (challenges), so it is futile to compare ourselves with anyone else.

We can choose to be happy, even if others are not happy

I recall seeing a quote written on a date calendar years ago “A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child”. “How true!” I thought. If we are empathic, we can fall into the lie of thinking “How can I be happy when there is so much suffering in the world?” or “How can I be happy when my partner/child/parent is unhappy?” If someone close to us is suffering, we may even feel guilty if we feel happy. These thoughts and feelings are based on a lie – that our happiness is conditional on others’ happiness. If we believe this, we take ourselves to the lower vibration of the other person, and from this vibration we are unable to help or inspire that person. The truth is that we can feel joy and still empathise. Empathising does not mean that we must feel the way the other person does; simply that we go to the place of understanding how they feel. When we remain in a higher vibration of happiness, we access resources that are not available to us when in a lower vibration, and so we are better able to help another person who is unhappy. On a global level, each individual’s level of happiness contributes to the overall vibration of the Earth, so it is essential that we choose happiness.

You, and only you, can create your happiness

When we rely on outside circumstances and other people to create our happiness, we are on shaky ground, because outside circumstances and people change constantly. That is the nature of our Universe. It is not what happens to you or doesn’t happen to you that creates your happiness. No person or event can make us happy or unhappy. Our ego mind’s judgments of the person or event makes us happy or unhappy. How we choose to interpret what’s happening, and the story we tell ourselves about it, makes us happy or unhappy.

“The last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.” – Viktor E. Frankel

Too often we blame other people or circumstances for our lack of happiness. Difficult relationships reflect back to us what we must heal in ourselves. Very often, when we transform how we feel, the other person will transform too. In any relationship, the waters won’t always be calm. By assuming responsibility for our own happiness, we are no longer at the mercy of other people’s moods or choices. The people in our lives are limited by their own beliefs, fears and personal challenges, and how they behave is not a reflection of who we are. It is a reflection of who they are. How we feel about their treatment of us is a reflection of what we truly feel about ourselves. Throughout this book, we will be examining this further.

There is no point in chasing happiness

Happiness cannot be chased. It is not a commodity, although the media will try and have you believe otherwise. Happiness is a by-product of a life well-lived, and tends to “sneak in through the back door”. We cannot expect happiness from our relationships, our work or any situation or event, because our happiness is nobody else’s responsibility but ours. When we start taking responsibility for our own lives and release the idea that other people or things are supposed to make us happy ... we will be happy!

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