THE SECRETS OF A CHANGEMAKER

Here is one of my favorite passages in “The Changemaker”  by Deke Copenhaver:

 

Opening yourself up to the world around you means knowingly exposing yourself to life’s great challenges. But it’s the only way to connect with and lead others in a profound and lasting manner.

Changemakers need to realize and be open and vulnerable to the opportunities around them. They have to be on the ground, in the trenches, whether it’s at a major golf tournament or in the major events of life. Being a changemaker often means starting initiatives or businesses that can make a difference. If your journey leads you to establish a business in the Sunshine State, knowing how to get an LLC in Florida is a crucial step towards ensuring your venture is built on a solid legal foundation.

I didn’t conceive the general idea of what the average man on the street perceives a politician to be. When I first ran for office, I realized not everybody in the city knew me. As a matter of fact, I was pretty much an unknown. But I couldn’t understand why there were people who had never even met me who hated me. I came to realize that it was the negative perception of politics and politicians in general. And even though I didn’t perceive myself as a typical politician, to many of the constituents I served, there were preconceived notions about what a politician was.

Having grown up in the South, raised by parents who grew up in small towns in Virginia, I have a deep understanding of the idea of keeping a stiff upper lip and soldiering on in the face of adversity while not “airing your dirty laundry.”

I respect that idea, but I also see that it can be a faulty mind-set to adhere to. Although I was once a shy kid from Canada, my roots run deep in a culture that I value for its strength, resiliency, and gentility. However, I also understand it’s a culture that’s not at all without its inherent issues, same as with any other culture. In our culture, as within many others worldwide, vulnerability is often seen as weakness, while openly and honestly discussing issues we’re facing as individuals, businesses, families, and communities seems to never be an easy conversation to have. While dealing with Kellie’s illness in my twenties, I had experienced firsthand the toll that keeping a stiff upper lip and not reaching out to loved ones during the difficult times in life can have on you.

The truth is we all have issues and insecurities we deal with on a daily basis, which ultimately makes us all vulnerable and, as much as we don’t like to admit it at times, human. But something we can all learn is that our common vulnerability can be used as a strength, because admitting you have it binds us together in that it begins to build trust with each other.

Changemakers have to be willing to let their guard down as opposed to putting up walls in their efforts to create lasting positive change. But a word to the wise: opening up and letting your guard down in your changemaking efforts often brings you face to face with one of the essential human conditions no one can ever avoid—hurt. I’ve often said that artists and musicians are natural-born Changemakers because of their inherent need to share themselves and be vulnerable.

They are some of the most beautiful souls, and oftentimes they’re the most broken souls because of the world of raw emotion in which they live. The courage

it takes for artists to perform, to open themselves up to critics and cynics, to put their art out there for the world to see and judge is what a Changemaker is all about, whether it’s a musician or a visual artist or a sculptor or a writer.

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WHAT THOUGHTS BELONG TO YOU?

Here is one of my favorite passages in “Whatever the F*ck It Takes”  by Barbra Gilman:

 

In our world, fitting in is the numero-uno thing to do. We’ve been trained very well to fit in, and fitting in here means to be right! So, we give ourselves up in order to validate everyone else’s point of view, and we get to be right at the same time.

And boy-oh-boy, when we fit in and are accepted and still get to be right, it’s like a triple-header Yankees game and the annual Macy’s Thankgiving Day Parade rolled into one!

Most people’s lives are trauma, drama, and struggle. What is the value of that? Well, the value is when you have these, you get to fit in. You get to be like everyone else. You don’t have to be inconceivable because you’re part of the herd. You don’t have to worry about standing out or getting kicked out. That’s the value of fitting in. And if you fit in, you also get to share. We love that concept. Unfortunately, when you share you have to bring yourself down to the lowest common denominator of what the person you’re sharing with can receive. They can only receive 1 percent of what you’re saying, so you have to bring yourself down  to 1 percent of you. Talk about giving you up!

Unless, of course, you stand outside the insane asylum and look at the notion of “fitting in.” Now from that vantage point, you can see that those who want to fit in are actually choosing against themselves, and never get to be who they truly could be. If they were choosing for themselves, that would actually change everything and give them a life of ease, joy, and glory®! Oh, well, no significance here and no making anyone wrong.

They can always come back and try it again! What have I made so vital, valuable, and real about giving me up to validate everyone else’s point of view? Everything that is, I now destroy and uncreate. POD POC.

ACTION TOOL: Who Does This Belong To? Return to Sender

This is the tool you’ll probably use the most. Because you’re constantly taking on others’ energy, feelings, expectations, fear, worries, and day-to-day thoughts. Though they’re not your own, you take them on as your own. This tool is incredibly potent. For every thought, feeling, emotion you have, ask yourself:

“Who does this belong to?”

Would you believe (I hope you do after you read this!) that 90 percent of everything you think and feel is not yours? Yes, you read that correctly! I know this can sound preposterous the first time you hear it.

However, it’s true. And the good news here is that once you start playing with the Return to Sender tool, not only will you believe me, you’ll also get the added bonus of getting rid of most of the trauma and drama and unwanted feelings you think are yours.

Think about it this way: Would you sneak into a neighbor’s hamper and put on their dirty underwear?? No? Well, guess what? That’s exactly what you do. And in doing all this, in closing the back door, returning to sender, and removing most of the escape routes I used to have—my life and awareness have changed in ways I could never have imagined.

Remember there is no destination; what we’re looking for is More-Better-Greater-Different. I know there is so much more ahead. I KNOW I don’t want to leave this planet feeling like I never became the most POTENT version of me, or at least gave it my best shot. And I am sure you don’t want to, either.

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LAUGHTER IS HEALING!

Here is one of my favorite passages in “Write For Life”  by David Tabatsky:

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” 

– E. E. Cummings

 

For people living with cancer, it may seem strange or even distasteful to consider humor when facing such serious issues. Yet, laughter can be helpful in ways you might not have realized or imagined. Laughter can help you feel better about yourself and the world around you.

Have you looked at the world lately? It’s pretty funny. Then again, it’s pretty sad, and we need comic relief.  Laughter is a natural diversion.

When you laugh, no other thought comes to mind. Laughing can also induce physical changes in the body. After laughing for just a few minutes, you may feel better for hours. When used to supplement conventional cancer treatments, laughter therapy may help in the overall healing process. According to some studies, laughter therapy may provide physical benefits, such as boosting the immune system and circulatory system; enhancing oxygen intake; stimulating the heart and lungs; relaxing muscles throughout the body; triggering the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers); easing digestion/soothes stomachaches, relieving pain; balancing blood pressure; and improving mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity).

Man, this makes me want to stop writing about laughter and look in the mirror — always good for a laugh. Try it. It can’t just be my mirror, can it? Laughter therapy may also improve overall attitude, reduce stress and tension, promote relaxation, aid sleep, enhance quality of life, strengthen social bonds and relationships, and produce a general sense of well being.

The Mind-Body Medicine department at Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) offers supportive alternatives, including laughter therapy, to help patients cope while receiving conventional cancer treatments. Dr. Katherine Puckett, national director of Mind-Body Medicine at CTCA, first introduced laughter therapy to Midwestern Regional Medical Center upon a patient’s request. CTCA now offers humor therapy sessions, also known as Laughter Clubs or humor groups, to help cancer patients and their families use and enjoy laughter as a tool for healing. 

Laughter Club is not based on humor or jokes, but on laughter as physical exercise. One exercise involves patients standing in a circle and putting their fingertips on their cheekbones, chest, or lower abdomen. They make “ha ha” or “hee hee” sounds until they felt vibrations through their bodies.

Dr. Puckett says that during these exercises, it’s hard for people not to join in because laughter is so contagious. According to Dr. Puckett, at the end of a session, patients have said things like “I didn’t even think about cancer during Laughter Club” and “That felt great! Things have been so hard that we haven’t laughed in months.”  An eight-year-old daughter of a CTCA patient who had been struggling with her parent’s cancer had a revelation while attending Laughter Club.

 

“I never thought about laughing every day, but now I realize I can. Like even when I don’t feel happy, I can still laugh and feel better.” Sounds like just what the doctor ordered — or should be. On the next page, you’ll find a prescription for fun and laughter. Enjoy it because you must!...

What Makes You Laugh?

Email David with your answer: dtabatsky@gmail.com

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INVEST IN YOURSELF

Here is one of my favorite passages in “The Freedom to Eat” by Jackie Trottmann:

— Knowing who you are and loving your life is presented inwardly through your thoughts and feelings. You listen to the still, small voice inside of you that leads you and guides you. It is a strong and confident voice that knows the truth. You are no longer condemning yourself but are nurturing yourself. Wholeness means taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. It means investing in resources and activities to help you be the best that you can be and to live life to the fullest.

Outwardly, you express how you care for yourself. Through your outward appearance, you project your true essence to the world. Caring for your appearance does not meet the requirements communicated by the media. It is an honorable, clean, and respectful appearance of who you are.

So you’re not at the ideal place you want to be with your weight. Don’t let that keep you from looking good and feeling good. Buy some new clothes that look great on you right now. This means, the right fit, the right colors, the right style that defines your authentic self. There are many retailers with bargain deals, so there is no need to spend a lot of money while your shape changes. Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight.

This may seem a little silly to bring up, but you’ll be surprised how much better you will feel if you wear underwear that provides the support needed in all areas of the body. Some stores may offer bras and panties that look great, but don’t have the fit that will make you feel comfortable all day. If you find yourself tugging and pulling on your clothes all day, that certainly doesn’t look good or feel good! As your guide, remember, if it makes you feel good, then go for it; otherwise, focus on buying something that gives the right support and makes you feel better. There are many pretty and practical choices available on the market.

If your hair is one of your best features, invest in a great hairstyle, and cut that represents your authentic you. If wearing makeup makes you feel good, pick products that will enhance your features and skin tone. For some, this may mean natural, clean skin. Others may enjoy facials or hair coloring. What’s important is to feel good and to let your inward light shine outward for the world to see. Notice I said to let it shine. You don’t have to make it shine.

Don’t allow negative talk! Keep reminding yourself that you are loved unconditionally. Each day you are discovering what it means to feel connected to your Creator and in this process; you are experiencing love, joy, peace, power, and wholeness.

Time is our most precious commodity. Be careful how you invest your time. Practicing the first secret of awareness will help you to be conscious of how you spend your time and how participating in activities that are not serving you will cause you to feel bad. Invest your time in activities that will nourish and feed your mind, body, and soul and not deplete you.

Find positive lifestyle types of media to give you new ideas and enhance your new authentic style. The same goes for camping out on social media, watching certain television programs or movies. I found the more I saturated myself with images that I couldn’t attain (I will never be 5’11” except in five-inch heels) and material possessions that were not practical or true priorities like yachts or thirty-room mansions (not a heart’s desire or a need for); it would still make me feel less worthy. Don’t allow that to happen. Change your focus from lack to abundance by feeding your mind, body, and spirit with positive books, friends, entertainment choices, and activities.

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Also, Watch The Inspirational Book Passage Video: