The best way to practice “Loving” ourselves is through observance of our relationships with “others.”
Relationships might be the most precious and powerful avenue for the practice of locating where illusory fears hide.
The deeper and truer our relationships are, the deeper and truer we will become.
Relationships work as mirrors. They reflect the way we think about ourselves and/or serve as catalysts for great changes when we enter into a relationship where the other person represents the opposite of what we believe and value.
When we are in a state of self-inquiry, relationships can show us where our hidden fears are as well as the illusions of our beliefs about ourselves, “others,” and life.
Here are some practices that have removed some of my obstacles to “Love” and have revealed to me the beauty of “being it”:
- NOT LYING to anyone around me and telling my “truths” in a creative and kind way so “others” would listen.
- JUDGING LESS and understanding more. When people’s behavior hurts me, I ask: “Who is there to be hurt?” “Love” isn’t a person who reacts with anger, self-pity, or blame. “Love” simply is.
I then engage in the opposite practice that comes from compassion. I call it compassionate curiosity, which asks questions about the “other”: “How did they become hurt? Did I hurt them?”
- TAKING PEOPLE’S ACTIONS AND BEHAVIORS LESS PERSONALLY. This is a wonderful practice. It requires us getting out of our own heads and daring to explore “others.” This can make you a better “person” if coming from a “person’s” perspective is where you are.
The “Love” that I am exploring is the one without self-interest, without a conscious cause.
I am here and now and this is it. “Love” it or fear it.
*** From Valeria’s new book: From Fear to “Love.”