valeriateles

DRIVEN BY FEAR OR DRIVEN BY “LOVE”?

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Only when we are willing to truly explore these questions as a person, are we able to explore ourselves as beings.

  

It was during an episode of depression that I became aware of some major choices I had made in my life that were driven by fear.

 

I was infusing life into what I believe is lifeless: fear.

 

It makes sense to me that any thought or action that is driven by judgment and hate, for ourselves and for “others,” creates separation, and this separation isolates us from our true selves, which in turn keeps us from understanding what is real and what is not.

 

Perhaps, a life of “true” health and joy is paved by becoming aware of which thoughts and actions are driven by fear and which are driven by “Love.” And every inch of that pavement is infused with self-inquiry.

 

This practice might entail discernment combined with intuition, patience, and kindness. What a rich adventure life is within us! Self-discovery and self-exploration are so exciting to me, even if there is nowhere to go, and what is discovered can never be explained or fully understood.

 

However, what I ponder these days is whether it is true that we act and behave according to our fears or according to “Love”—at conscious or unconscious levels.

 

Is fear the opposite of “Love”?

 

If yes, then the place to stand is in between them.

 

As far as I can see, by trying to run from fear or trying to become “Love,” we can never “stand” anywhere. Our human experience is destined to be unstable—out of balance at all levels, mentally and physically—as long as we choose sides to “stand” on/by.

 

The magical antidote to unnecessary suffering might be the realization that it is not running from or becoming something that gets us “there,” but rather being “there” now, between the opposites.

 

I think this is called the non-dual state of mind. I am not sure how long, and how much of, our lives can be experienced in this state. Not through experience perhaps, as everything we experience has a dual nature attached to it, but through awareness—the subtle knowing, which cannot be known by consciousness.

 

It might be that subtle knowledge, at this very moment, simply is—and it’s all we have.

 

The past and the future are just memories. They can teach and motivate, but they are not real life. They are, perhaps, “necessary” illusions that serve as a guide depending on each person’s level of awareness.

 

It is in “being” here and now before becoming what our past or our future makes us to be that we meet life itself.

 

And so, it is by meeting life itself that we know “Love.”

 

 

I remember the beginning of my “raw” understanding of fear and “Love,” when I became open to new experiences that would expose my fears and help me to overcome them.

 

I began saying “yes” to thoughts that suggested and welcomed the new, the unknown to me.

 

And so, I said yes to everything that seemed to invite me to explore my hidden fears.

 

Boy, did this lead me to dangerous situations, one of which was when I quickly made the decision to spend a few months at a meditation retreat center in the “middle-of-nowhere” in France, where I was drugged.

 

From this experience, I became aware of which fears were not worth overcoming: The fear of living with strangers in a foreign country whose mission was to teach “others” to become “fearless.”

 

It is by replacing fear with “Love” awareness as a practice first, that we become fearless.

 

Those who are fearless are free to “Love” because “Love” is who we are: FREE. Free from the negative meaning given to our human experience.

 

The human experience includes everything that is possible to experience. The personal meaning we give to these experiences can be altered. The non-personal meaning for the human experience arises from awareness itself.

*** From Valeria’s new book: From Fear to “Love.”  

THE POWER OF RELATIONSHIPS

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The best way to practice “Loving” ourselves is through observance of our relationships with “others.”

 

Relationships might be the most precious and powerful avenue for the practice of locating where illusory fears hide.

 

The deeper and truer our relationships are, the deeper and truer we will become.

 

Relationships work as mirrors. They reflect the way we think about ourselves and/or serve as catalysts for great changes when we enter into a relationship where the other person represents the opposite of what we believe and value.

 

When we are in a state of self-inquiry, relationships can show us where our hidden fears are as well as the illusions of our beliefs about ourselves, “others,” and life.

  

Here are some practices that have removed some of my obstacles to “Love” and have revealed to me the beauty of “being it”:

 

-      NOT LYING to anyone around me and telling my “truths” in a creative and kind way so “others” would listen.

 

-      JUDGING LESS and understanding more. When people’s behavior hurts me, I ask: “Who is there to be hurt?” “Love” isn’t a person who reacts with anger, self-pity, or blame. “Love” simply is.

I then engage in the opposite practice that comes from compassion. I call it compassionate curiosity, which asks questions about the “other”: “How did they become hurt? Did I hurt them?”

 

-      TAKING PEOPLE’S ACTIONS AND BEHAVIORS LESS PERSONALLY. This is a wonderful practice. It requires us getting out of our own heads and daring to explore “others.” This can make you a better “person” if coming from a “person’s” perspective is where you are.

 

 

The “Love” that I am exploring is the one without self-interest, without a conscious cause.

 

I am here and now and this is it. “Love” it or fear it.

*** From Valeria’s new book: From Fear to “Love.”  

WHAT IS FEAR AND WHAT IS “LOVE”?

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The word “Love” is in quotations throughout this work because the kind of love I speak of has no opposites. It is every-thing and it is no-thing at the same time.

 

“Love” is what stands between dark and light, bad and good, life and death. It is also what is beyond dark and light, bad and good, life and death. “Love” is always here and now. It cannot be found somewhere in the future or somewhere outside of you; “Love” is not a destination nor a time-bound realization.

 

Intellectually, it is easier to understand and describe fear because it is the realm of mind and body, whereas “Love” is the heart’s domain.

 

Know your heart and you will know “Love.”

 

I’ve always wanted to understand the connection between fear and “Love.” They have been part of my life, or so I thought, just as everyone thinks they have experienced them. Yet, exploring the dynamics of the kinds of love I had experienced, I discovered that fear had been very much connected to it.

 

My basic understanding through experiences that were under-examined was that “Love” was good and “fear” was bad.

 

It was easier to be good and to say, “I love you,” when I was afraid of being bad or not being accepted.

 

I wished to live in a state of “Love,” but I was unaware that my way of loving was another way of being afraid.

 

This kind of love couldn’t be real. This kind of love was fear in disguise.

 

Not surprisingly, this also happened the other way around – people around me were doing the same thing.

 

It was a dance to the music of fear playing in our own heads.

 

I now have a much better idea of what love is and where my fears hide.

 

My concepts for love, fear, and hate are:

 

-      “LOVE” is all there is—as in, what our bodies, minds, and “souls” long for or wish to return to. Love is the force that brings us back to Being.

 

-      FEAR is the absence of “Love” awareness—the illusion that drives deluded/unhealthy actions and petrified states. When “Love” awareness is present, there is understanding and compassion for the body and its survival mechanism.

 

-      HATE, as well as all other forms of negative responses, is the presence of fear.

 

 

All concepts created by the mind for what you, me, love, fear, and life itself are, are exactly that: concepts. But these concepts matter for a human experience that manifests health, joy, peace, and—yes—lots of love!

 

I have not yet met anyone who has conceptualized love in a non-loving way.

 

My concepts for awareness, true self, and consciousness are:

 

 

-      AWARENESS sees all things simply as they are. No opposites. No distinctions. No judgment. Awareness is a presence that can’t be described. We can be aware that we are conscious, but not conscious that we are aware.

 

-      THE TRUE SELF, (also called the soul, the spirit, or the higher self) can distinguish thoughts, behaviors, and actions driven by “Love” and those driven by fear.

 

-      CONSCIOUSNESS is that which chooses to act upon thoughts driven by “Love” rather than by fear. This is interesting.

Why are some of us able to make these choices, or make choosing to act upon “Love” a practice? Is it connected to our psychological patterns derived from past experiences? How “past” are these past experiences? Are they passed on to us from our ancestors, our current lifetime experiences, or past lives?

My desire to understand “Love” and fear is connected to the experience of “becoming aware,” which keeps bringing me back to this present moment. The more I rest in the now, the more I learn to accept and be grateful, and the more JOY I discover within myself.

 

Awareness, true self, and consciousness are just sophisticated ideas/concepts available to be used by the mind in an attempt to understand itself. When all concepts disappear, what remains is Being—the experience of experiencing.

 

 

Most of us can find joy in this very moment through important concepts such as acceptance and gratitude. This shows how relevant concepts and ideas are and how they can be used as methods for understanding who we are.

 

If together we can understand “Love” and fear the same way, the experience of “being” could easily turn into spiritual fun!

 

Becoming “Love” aware collectively translates into acceptance and gratitude for one another and, as a consequence, our joy multiplies.

 

If I am entertaining the mind’s powerful ability to create, I see no harm in giving wings to the idea of becoming “Love” aware and doing so with “others.”

 

This idea matters as far as our current human condition is concerned.

 

The experience of becoming “Love” aware together, and the shared joy created from it, is a gift to our well-being, to our workplace, our communities, cities, countries, and the whole world.

 

The more “Love” awareness is actualized, the more joy becomes the currency of life.

*** From Valeria’s new book: From Fear to “Love.”  

LIBERATED JOY THAT DOESN’T EXCLUDE ANYTHING

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The primary inspiration for writing the Fit for Joy book was the realization that—here and now—I was exactly where I was supposed to be in every way.

 

I realized that I was in perfect alignment with joy and always had been.

 

In other words, I understood that “Love” is our natural state of being and feeling “joy” is our natural state of living.

 

So, what had been holding me back from experiencing ‘liberated joy’ for almost forty years?

 

Fear and, more precisely, the fear attached to the story of my life - that was my guess back then, but I couldn’t understand it. Today, I know how “real” fear can seem to be when there is no understanding of “Love.”

 

Becoming “Love” aware (fearless to Love) is a complex wisdom concept that, when experienced, is the simplest thing you will ever come across because this wisdom (detached from concepts) has always been within you.

 

The mind can become anything: A field of thoughts driven by all kinds of fear, or a wonderful servant to “Love” awareness expressing life in so many unique ways.

 

 

We become who we THINK we are.

We ARE that, before thinking, before becoming.

 

 

With the influence of thoughts, we create “people” who are separated from “Love.”

 

To return to “Love” is to experience self-care, practice self-inquiry, and delve deeper into our relationships.

 

My wish is to continue exploring—along with “others”— this infinite complexity, simplicity, beauty, and mystery of life and “Love” within and through this body.

 

Joy is inseparable from the observance of the content of our conditioned mind and bodies. The mystery of it all is manifested into unconditional smiles.

*** From Valeria’s new book: From Fear to “Love.”  

“LOVE” AWARENESS



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 The book From Fear to “Love” is comprised of thoughts on self-care, non-duality, self-inquiry, and relational awareness. It brings to light how self-knowledge ignites the process of defining what “Love” is in our lives.

 

Fear holds us back from experiencing “Love” and joy.

 

We act and think a certain way, apprehensive of how “others” might view us or concerned that we won’t measure up to their expectations.

 

In truth, our way of loving is another way of being afraid.

 

We love so “others” won’t think we are bad. This way, no one will know what we really think or who we “think” we are.

 

Our way of loving, informed by our fear, ends up shaping us into something that is everything except “real, loving” people.

 

This brings us to a question: What would it look like to have no fear—to be fearless to “Love”?

 

It’s through becoming “Love” aware in the NOW that you can experience this fearlessness.

 

Love yourself so that you are free to “Love” “others.”

 

Imagine what the world would look like if each person “loved themselves” and “others.” Life would be much more fun and relaxed for “everyone”!

 

Being “Love” aware, while in the moment, brings well-being to the ever-present now.

 

Relationships are the most powerful way to experience “Love.”

 

“Love” simply is.

 

The more “Love” awareness we have, the more we can heal our own pain and suffering, and thus be in a position to assist in healing “others.”

 

By freeing yourself from negative responses and enjoying “just being,” your brain can change your mind, and your mind can change your brain.

 

What happens when you enjoy “just being”?

 

You are free, you are joyful, you are “Loving.”

 

Acting upon the virtues of “Love” is a moment-to-moment practice.

 

You won’t get it right every time; but there is no need to worry. When you make a mistake, you will experience compassion for yourself.

 

Become “Love” aware.

 

Every experience is a gift.

 

It takes courage to change.

 

The person you think you are expects everything to remain the same. “Love” expects you to return to it.

 

No one can tell you how to feel. You are your own leader, in charge of your emotions.

 

Return to “Love” and you will see the illusion of fear, of hate, of insecurities, of worthlessness, of anxiety, and all other similar emotions that serve as obstacles or catalysts to you recognizing who you really are.

 

Create your own opportunities for change by taking good care of yourself, practicing gratitude, self-inquiry, and acceptance.

 

Be All That You Are: “Love.”


 

*** From Valeria’s new book: From Fear to “Love.”  


Note: The words others, everyone, and themselves are in quotations because during deeper spiritual experiences, I felt an infinite connection to everything and to everyone. This is to say that energetically, there wasn’t any separation between me and the other.

A NOTE ON “LOVE”



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  The Love I speak of is all there is—that is, what our bodies, minds, and “souls” long for or wish to return to.

 

The Love I speak of is the force that drives us to act in a selfless way when connecting with “others,” or to remain still when chaos is around us.

 

It’s the force that drives birds to fly and trees to be silent.

 

The Love I speak of is the “no-thing” from which “every-thing” arises.

 

The message in this book is about “Love” awareness.

 

“Love” awareness cannot be pointed out within you because it is simultaneously every part of you and yet none of you. Awareness knows that you are conscious, but consciousness doesn’t know that you are aware.

 

It’s like waking up in the middle of a dream. It’s knowing that you are dreaming, yet being awake.  You still have to play by the rules of the dream, which are created by the different levels of your consciousness.

 

Even if you are able to keep yourself “awakened” in the dream, the dream still feels very “real” to you on some level. And so, there will be room for fear that comes from any kind of perceived danger that threatens what is “real” to you. When awakened in the dream, any other kind of fear is confusion derived from the absence of "Love" awareness; the understanding of who we are. You’ve forgotten that you are dreaming.

 

Life is the unimaginable experience of being, in which we find delight through the acceptance of its mystery.

 

We are in a body, using its built-in tools of navigation to explore the objective reality that matches itself. We also have a mind projecting layers upon layers of subjective realities to match its ability to create and to become.

 

Those who are ”Love” aware understand the nature of the body as well as the nature of the mind.

 

My spiritual experiences and explorations have confirmed that life is what is happening now.

 

By practicing "Love" awareness, I find that the mind is constantly trying to take "me" somewhere beyond this moment. "I" keep bringing it back to where the body is. This simple practice affirms a fundamental truth: The body is the most "real" illusion created by the mind.

 

Your main practice is to be aware of where the mind is trying to take you. There is no place to go, no destination to arrive at, no enlightenment to achieve. You are "Love" awareness. You are "it"—nature in its ultimate creative perfection.

 

Being "Love" aware includes embracing the experience of life at all levels. There is a deep presence in the form of feelings such as acceptance, appreciation, and awe derived from “Love” awareness and its clarity.

 

Your mind still tries to create a better dream; better-conditioned realities. When you are "Love” aware, your actions (your dreams) are much more refined, relaxed, and enjoyable. There is a sense that you are in charge of your dreams, although you are not. Actions are still conditioned to our conscious and subconscious states, but they have been elevated to match our spiritual understanding. The deeper this understanding is, the more joy we derive from the smallest and simplest things in life, and the more peaceful we are during difficult situations.

 

“Love” awareness is not a philosophy, a method, or a path. It’s a knowing untouched by the body and the mind. However, through body and mind, we can use philosophies, methods, and paths to understand "Love.” Once it is understood, there is no need for philosophies, methods, and/or paths.

 

We are liberated!



*** From the book: From Fear to “Love” by Valeria Teles