EMBRACING THE JOURNEY: UNDERSTANDING AGING WITH GRACE AND DIGNITY
Aging is a natural and inevitable part of life, yet it is often accompanied by fears, uncertainties, and societal pressures. However, by embracing the journey of aging with grace and dignity, individuals can cultivate a positive and fulfilling experience that honors their unique journey and contributions. In this article, we explore the concept of aging with grace and dignity, the challenges and opportunities it presents, and strategies for navigating this journey with resilience and purpose.
Shifting Perspectives on Aging
In many cultures, aging is often viewed through a lens of decline and loss, focusing primarily on the changes associated with growing older. However, a shift in perspective is underway, challenging traditional narratives and celebrating the strengths, wisdom, and resilience that come with age. Embracing the journey of aging with grace and dignity involves reframing aging as a time of growth, fulfillment, and continued learning rather than a period of decline and limitations.
Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion
Central to the concept of aging with grace and dignity is the importance of cultivating self-acceptance and self-compassion. As individuals age, they may experience changes in their physical appearance, health, and abilities, which can trigger feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and inadequacy. By practicing self-compassion and embracing their inherent worth and value, individuals can navigate the challenges of aging with greater resilience and confidence, maintaining a sense of dignity and self-respect.
Building Supportive Networks
Navigating the journey of aging with grace and dignity requires support from family, friends, and the community. Building supportive networks of relationships can provide emotional, practical, and social support that buffers against the challenges of aging and promotes well-being, that might be joining local hobby groups or moving into Aliso Viejo memory care. By fostering connections with others and nurturing meaningful relationships, individuals can cultivate a sense of belonging, connection, and resilience that sustains them through the ups and downs of aging.
Finding Meaning and Purpose
Aging with grace and dignity involves finding meaning and purpose in the later stages of life despite the limitations and challenges that may arise. This may involve exploring new interests, hobbies, and passions, focusing on engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment, and nurturing meaningful connections with loved ones and the community. By embracing opportunities for growth, contribution, and self-expression, individuals can cultivate purpose and vitality that enriches their lives and enhances their well-being.
Maintaining Independence and Autonomy
Preserving independence and autonomy is an essential aspect of aging with grace and dignity, allowing individuals to maintain control and make decisions that align with their values and preferences. This may involve planning for the future, accessing supportive services and resources, and advocating for one's needs and rights. By taking an active role in their own care and decision-making, individuals can retain a sense of agency and empowerment that enhances their quality of life and preserves their dignity.
Conclusion
Aging with grace and dignity is about embracing the journey of life with courage, resilience, and self-compassion. By shifting perspectives, cultivating self-acceptance, finding meaning and purpose, maintaining independence and autonomy, and building supportive networks, individuals can navigate the challenges of aging with grace and dignity, embracing the opportunities for growth, connection, and fulfillment that come with age. Ultimately, aging with grace and dignity is about honoring the richness of life's experiences and embracing the journey with open hearts and minds.
REALIZING THE WHOLE SELF: EMPOWERING CHILDREN & TEENS TO BECOME CHAMPIONS OF LIFE
Here is a passage from “Wrestling Through Adversity: Empowering Children, Teens, & Young Adults to Win in Life” — A must-read and insightful book that shares timeless wisdom by Dr. Christine Silverstein
— With the advance of knowledge of neuroscience and the workings of the mind, there are opportunities to combine the best of technology and research on the brain and resilience to take advantage of a fundamental paradigm shift in mental healthcare in the 21st century.
In a paper by Max Bertolero and Danielle Bassett in Scientific American in July 2019 titled, “How Matter Becomes Mind,” the authors reported that there is an overabundance of flexibility in how networks reconfigure themselves in the brain in people with schizophrenia. Auditory hallucinations may result when nodes unexpectedly switch links between speech and auditory modules, resulting in what seems to be voices in one’s head. These findings may become an important factor in understanding the origin and mechanisms of “hearing voices.”
Researchers have identified an autoantibody that appears to cause schizophrenia in some individuals, which was reported by Hiroki Shiwaku et al. on April 19, 2022, in Cell Reports Medicine. The authors stated that their findings may lead to important improvements in the diagnosis and treatment of schizophrenia.
This research adds to the growing body of evidence to improve the lives of those with schizophrenia, but nothing adds more support and more impact than a new movement to shift mainstream psychiatric thinking away from medication and towards greater acceptance and respect, as noted by Daniel Bergner in his May 17, 2022 article in The New York Times “Doctors Gave Her Antipsychotics. She Decided to Live with Her Voices.”
The author’s narrative begins with a young child, Caroline Mazel-Carlton, when she was in daycare and started to hear voices. As she grew older into her diagnosis of schizophrenia, so did the mix of psychotropic pills, including antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, benzodiazepines, and stimulants. These drugs caused untoward side effects, such as weight gain, a feeling of losing control of her forearms, quivering of extremities, loss of hair, isolation, and a feeling of barely being human. Eventually, Mazel-Carlton spent time on a psychiatric “farm” in Appalachia, where she flushed her pills down the toilet, and her health improved.
When Mazel-Carlton was in her mid-twenties, she became a peer-support specialist at an organization now called the Wildflower Alliance, and she started leading “Hearing Voices Network” support groups. Mazel-Carlton and the Alliance are now at the forefront of a growing effort to thoroughly reform how the field of mental health approaches severe psychiatric conditions, calling for the end of involuntary and coercive treatments.
The World Health Organization (WHO) is now challenging biological psychiatry’s authority and its expertise and insight into the psyche because the medical model leaves those with schizophrenia feeling overwhelmed, disempowered, hopeless, isolated, and stigmatized. At the Alliance, participants are encouraged to speak about the content of their voices so they can attribute meaning to them with people who have similar lived experiences, which is healing for them as humans.
In 2022 Levine, who wrote about how professionals in the medical model traumatize and retraumatize people, perverting healing. With such traumatization, a person feels disconnected from one’s own self, from others, and from other aspects of life, like living in a community.
To begin the healing process, Levine posited, one must reconnect and become more whole. This requires the stripping of power away from disconnecting violators, but the first step of stripping away only opens the door to healing and realizing the whole self. The good news, Levine stated, is that there are many reconnecting paths to wholeness and to healing.
Mind Over Mat
At the beginning of this chapter, we started out on a journey in 1997 from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, when I set out to present a workshop to high school wrestling coaches on peak performance conditioning titled, “Winning the Mental Battle within Your Self.” I encountered many adversities along the way but managed to wrestle through them.
At the time in 1997, neuroscientists had not yet made the discovery of the role of mirror neurons and how children mimic everything adults do, including learning how to smile, how to empathize, and how to wrestle. I taught and used the peak performance techniques I call mindful toughness skillsets and psychodynamically turned anxiety into scoring by mentally rehearsing and mentally recalling past successes to prepare for the workshop presentation.
Descartes hypothesized that the soul communicated with the brain through the pineal gland, a small, pea-shaped structure located near the center of the brain, but modern neuroscience has cast doubt on the idea that there is a single, special location in the brain where the mind interacts with it.
Yet, in contemporary society, we are still treating persons with schizophrenia and other conditions with psychotropic drugs that affect the physical body in such injurious ways, including their psyches and spirits, by demoralizing them, ostracizing them, and alienating them from society, without viewing them as human beings who have potential to learn and grow from their lived experiences and voices from within.
This was the case with Mazel-Carlton who saw a roller derby competition for the first time and decided to focus on training herself to become a high scorer on her team, regardless of her predilection for hearing voices that could have sabotaged her efforts. She set her goals, turned turmoil into determination to achieve success, and where mayhem existed, she marshaled and psychodynamically deployed it into winning. Just like Kurt Angle who won the Gold, Mazel-Carlton had an Expectant Mind. She expected to win, and she did while she wrestled through the adversity called schizophrenia.
The graphic of the “Highway to Success” is a symbolic representation of how I use a whole-brained approach when working with clients. It is based on the results of the split-brain procedure, where subjects’ brains—those with epilepsy—were severed into two parts, and the work of Roger Sperry (1959-1968) and his colleagues whom I learned about in a college course.
What the researchers determined was that the two hemispheres in the brain control vastly different aspects of thought and action, as reinforced by Michael Gazzaniga in his article “The Split Brain Revisited” in Scientific American in July 1998. The left brain is associated with the conscious mind is logical but critical and is dominant in language and speech. The right brain is associated with the subconscious mind that is non-judgmental, playful and excels in visual-motor tasks.
The use of a whole-brained approach is ideal for teenagers and young adults because the linkages in their brains are growing in dimension and density until the age of 25, along with the ability to use imagery and their imaginations, as was explored by Jay Giedd in a June 2015 Scientific American article titled, “The Amazing Teen Brain.” The applications to learning how to use both sides of the brain could be employed therapeutically with someone like Mazel-Carlton, who had perfect college entrance test scores in English and was known as a great storyteller by her younger siblings. These gifts could have been psychodynamically turned into writing a novel or acting on a stage where she vividly tells her stories, so we can all learn from her wisdom and courage.
Just imagine if someone is told over many years that they are ugly, or stupid, or crazy, or bad, what can occur in life with low self-esteem and feeling devalued and worthless? This is something to consider for all adults, parents, teachers, coaches, professionals, and others in authority. That is, what we say, do, feel, or project to young people can have a positive or negative impact on them.
The beauty of learning mental rehearsal—that has been shown scientifically in a September 2014 Headlines article in Scientific American titled, “Why Mental Rehearsals Work”—is using a natural process that is portable and affordable. It saves wear and tear on the physical body while empowering people to win.
Think of how this skill can be taught to teenagers before they are in seclusion rooms in ERs, to allow them the privilege of feeling joy and reaching their potential in life rather than ending it by suicide.
EMOTIONAL HEALING WITH CRYSTALS
Messages and Insights from Interview with Uma Silbey
Much of crystal work is connected to pure awareness.
Crystal work is about linking all the subtle bodies and the physical body, the Earth, and so forth. Ultimately, wholeness. When body and mind are in alignment, you are in a state of total relaxation. It is not that you are going to be a ragdoll, but balance is relaxing. In addition, both are one.
When we are in balance, relaxed, and grounded in the earth. Our body and mind are connected, and we bring that energy down. In crystal healing, what we do is to set the conditions and the spirit heals. That is spirit and healing together. The whole thing is spiritual without using the words. You do not even have to think of it that way.
It was after years of working with yoga, meditation, and energy that I discovered crystal quartz. When I picked up my first crystal, I could feel the vibration quite clearly, and I knew I had to work with them. If you are open, an internal river of knowledge and information just flows through you.
Working with crystals helps you recognize impediments. It facilitates an energetic change.
At our essence, we are vibration. Everything vibrates at its rate. When you work with crystals, you can learn to feel it and sense it. Working with crystals, you make a vibrational change. It will make a physical, mental, and emotional change in some way that is appropriate, although it might not be what you think is the right way.
A vibrational change is appropriate in that it would be the deepest, truest healing. Even dying, maybe the deepest healing at that moment. In some way, we let go of our ideas of ourselves.
With the crystals, you become more sensitive as you work with them. You do not even need them. You can visualize a crystal and have its energetic work.
Having crystals makes things easier. Each stone has its quality, which you learn to sense. If you want to wear a crystal on your heart chakra, you cannot just hold it there all day. However, crystal bracelets and rings deal with the energy channels, as an example.
Working with patterns on the body involves sacred geometry.
I love being in the studio and all my music, I try to open the heart to go up in the heavens but come back in the heart. This combination of crystals and music amazes me. In shamanic healing, you may use your stones, or drums, or make sounds, and you activate that stone and then send it where it needs to go.
There are surface emotions that pass easily if they are painful and you do not like them. Beneath those surface emotions are others that support them. Underneath that, another layer, and you go down, you go down until you come to these core, important wounds. With crystals, you work first with anxiety and depression, until you get to the original event, and you can reframe it and learn a lot. You have to do it very skillfully and gently.
I think most healers have a background of pain in our past. We become emotional experts because we are very emotional. That has served us as painful as it was.
I used to kind of push away all my past of pain. I used to try to ignore and not tell anybody. However, you cannot ignore it because it lodges in your body. You have repetitive thoughts that are annoying at best. We do try to push them down because it is painful and it hurts.
You will know that crystal healing is working because you will be happier when it is working. I believe this is about crystals helping us with healing, emotional healing specifically.
All that exists is essentially space, a limitless space before awareness and beingness. This state cannot be mentally understood or explained, as it has no form, no beginning nor end. As manifestation comes into being from the formless state, it expresses itself as vibration.
The areas in your bodies, from the etheric to the physical, are clenched and holding these things. When you get that spacious awareness, your body tends to align, especially if you breathe.
As you align, the things that were tied to misalignment will be released. Moreover, when you are in a place of spaciousness, it is like the ultimate feeling of safety.
When working with the stones, you are aligned, grounded into the earth, and aligned up in the heavens for lack of words. Then, information comes and expresses itself. It just comes through. You need just to be aware. You are not being something, no words, but you can be in that space.
Crystals absorb energy. They absorb it, they magnify, they help transmit, and they transmute. You can be conscious of being aware. Then you say, “I am aware”. However, who is the “I am”? What are you referring? It is not the body or the mind. What is this “I”? Finally, you circle back to “I am, just awareness”. Who is aware of “I am”? It is a good meditation to do.
If you are aware of yourself, there is still duality. There is still someone being aware. When you are pure awareness, there is no one being aware. There is just awareness. We changed our point of reference.
No matter where you are, we are always here now, be here.
Many contemplation sentences are meditations in themselves. It is all about energy. Whenever you are doing any energy work, particularly healing work, it is important to stay grounded in the earth. I use the analogy of a tree and its high branches. It will fall over unless it also has deep roots.
What is the placebo effect? If you believe that something will happen, it will tend to happen. Our thoughts are powerful, that being one clear example. Therefore, part of crystal working is that when a stone does things, definite subtle energy shifts are going on, and there is the placebo effect.
If you expect that the healing will work, it will work a lot better than if you think this is not going to work. When you are actively resisting it, you cannot remit those energetic pathways.
Many times, we resist healing because we are afraid of emotional pain. We do not like pain. We will do a lot to avoid pain. It is a natural reaction. It is where relaxing, breathing, visualization, and all these ways help cushion, protect, and nurture you so that you can explore the pain at your own pace. I do not recommend rushing any of it.
Rose quartz is a heart stone that helps open the heart chakra. It is also a relaxing stone. If someone has the throat blocked, you rub energetically a rose quartz to release the blockage, and then you use your bluestone.
Non-judgmental and complete listening to another person is emotionally healing just in itself.
When you listen to someone, you do not make any decisions or judgments. Although it may react places in your body or you might just notice that, bring your attention back to the listening. Very few people listen to one another. Moreover, it is an amazing thing to have someone just listen to you.
When you have an intense emotion, like anger, there is no separation between you and the anger. A way to deal with it is by asking yourself, “Who is it that's angry?” You do not want to check out. You want to honor that emotion because it is expressing something probably that is out of balance.
The ability to hear the crystal is what underlines successful crystal healing work.
There is an inner hearing, like a strong intuitive sense. It has a meditate meditation. It is like, how do we hear? Where do I hear? In addition, focus on that hearing and then who is it that hears? The ears are doing something, but there is someone who hears.
“May golden healing light from the most high heavenly spirit; pour through your crown center, to fill your heart with petals of wisdom that flower in the heart of your being. May you be healed.”
HOW TO MANAGE STRESS AND PROMOTE WELL-BEING DURING PREGNANCY
HOW TO MANAGE STRESS AND PROMOTE WELL-BEING DURING PREGNANCY
Pregnancy is a stressful time, especially if it is your first pregnancy or if complications meant that previous pregnancies did not go to full term. To ensure that you look after yourself and your baby, you need to find ways to reduce these stress levels as much as possible and promote a sense of well-being.
Of course, with everything else that is going on, this might seem easier said than done, but there are some key areas you can look at to help achieve this. These combine both emotional and practical elements, which could give you a head start that can keep stress at bay.
Here is a guide on how to manage stress and promote well-being during pregnancy.
1. Get the appropriate exercise, rest, and relaxation
Although exercise may have been a key part of keeping stress to a minimum prior to pregnancy, now you should only undertake exercise that your doctor has approved. This might include walking or some specialist exercises such as prenatal yoga.
You will also need to rest more and do what you can to get enough sleep. The amount of sleep that you will need is likely to increase, so you might need to augment any you get at night with daytime naps if possible. Part of this new regime will include finding comfortable sleeping positions and support as your body changes shape.
If you haven’t got any relaxation techniques that you have previously used, then you might want to explore meditation as a first port of call. There are a huge number of resources online to aid you with this, and they also cover subjects such as deep breathing or visualizing a calm environment. You might also choose to explore more physical methods including massage, although again, you will have to seek medical advice as to which type of massage you should have.
2. Find the right balance between practicality and positivity
While you might be of the opinion that the best way to avoid stress is to only expose yourself to positive news and avoid stressful situations, this might not provide you with the best outcome, as there are always unknowns in any new situation, and educating yourself about those might relieve stress more than ignoring the facts. For instance, understanding the pregnancy process, labor, and delivery might allow you to prepare yourself for the event. As part of this, though, you should also understand possible complications that could occur and where to get support in these instances.
If these complications occur due to medical negligence, then you will need to contact a birth injury attorney to ensure that you have the financial means to get the right people involved as soon as possible. Knowing that you have the support if a problem occurs can give you peace of mind and lower your stress levels as a result.
3. Get support
As well as legal support, you will also need emotional support from friends, family, and your partner if you have one. In addition to this, there are going to be other pregnant women you can communicate with at prenatal groups or in chat rooms and forums online. This gives you access to a wealth of experience and advice that can fill in any gaps left by those closest to you.
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Written by Atil Kum