COMMON WISDOM: 8 SCIENTIFIC ELEMENTS OF A MEANINGFUL LIFE
A Quest for Well-Being Interview with
DR. LAURA GABAYAN
1. Why did you decide to study wisdom? How did the idea for this research come about?
I am a physician-scientist (same as a physician-researcher). There are physicians that do not do research and mainly see patients, and then there are physicians who see patients and also do research. In medical school, we learned about diseases, diagnoses, and treatments. No one ever thought outside “outside the box.” For example, we did not learn about Chinese medicine or Indian ways of healing even though they are both the oldest living civilizations. Our instructors, who were scientists, were firmly entrenched solely in Western medicine. I then started searching for those who do think outside the box and who are original in how they think. There was only one group of individuals who had that different way of thinking: it was the wise.
I then looked into wisdom and all I found were anecdotal thoughts and religious texts. As a scientist, I needed more objectivity and started looking at published scientific manuscripts. The journals of Sociology, Psychology, and Geriatrics published a small amount of research on wisdom. These studies found that wisdom can only be identified by another human; not a test or a scale. The research also found that wisdom had an inverse U relationship with age and that the wisest people were in their 50s, 60s, and 70s. The very old started to lose wisdom as they became less flexible in their thinking and behavior. The research also found that wisdom was not related to gender, race, or political affiliation. Despite these findings, no one had taken the time to interview candidates.
Given that I believe you should do things yourself, I decided to do my own study on wisdom. I did not know anything about wisdom, but I knew how to create a research project. I hired a research assistant and a marketing specialist and from Oct 2022 to April 2023, I interviewed 60 wise individuals. The way I found these individuals was through telling anyone we knew if they were aware of someone wise and through postings on social media. We also asked interviewees to “nominate” other individuals that they knew were wise.
I then knew that the information obtained through the interviews had to be converted to data. As a scientist who had conducted a qualitative research study in the past, I knew that qualitative methods are ways to convert stories into data. Research is either qualitative or quantitative. Most of the research that we are familiar with deals with numbers and is quantitative. Then the team and I reviewed the internet recordings of the interviews and arrived at the 8 elements.
2. Your research led you to the discovery of eight primary elements of wisdom. Which of the elements surprised you the most? Why?
Kindness surprised me the most. I am Middle Eastern and being kind was always not viewed highly where I came from. It was viewed as being a pushover and not being very clever. It was also not something that families or society promoted.
Kindness was important to the interviewees in many ways. First, often the reason they were recommended for the study was because they engaged in kind acts towards others. Whether it was volunteering or helping mentor students, the interviewee often contributed to humanity in a way that was kind. Second, the interviewees talked about how kindness was a quality they sought in others. They avoided individuals who were not kind. Third, before they could be kind to others, they were kind to themselves. Many scheduled time during the day or week that was devoted to them being kind to themselves. This “self-care” could have been down time, meditation, time with friends, or whatever brought then joy.
I have since investigated kindness and have realized that kindness is very powerful and it is key to a meaningful life. It is essential to have kindness. It not only takes one out of the fight-or-flight mode when one is around it but when a person is kind, it’s a sign of strength. It not only feels good to be kind but It’s a sign of confidence. It’s also a way to feel connected to another person. It essentially comes down to respect. People, regardless of they differ in ideology, education, or background, all deserve respect. They are human beings and at the core of any and all interactions is kindness and respect.
3. Which element was most difficult to describe or put into context? Why?
The most difficult element to write about and describe was spirituality. This chapter required that I write it, put it aside, and then rewrite it. It required more thought and consideration than I had envisioned. While the other chapters came from ideas that made sense and were based on many years of experience, my spirituality chapter was hard to explain. I knew that I had to better understand my own spirituality to write this chapter.
The reason this was especially difficult for me was because of my upbringing and my career. I am a physician-scientist and in my field, the divine is not discussed and it is not viewed as a part of life. It is too abstract and not able to be measured, so for many, it must not exist. In addition to spirituality not being a part of my career, it was not something that either of my parents believed in. My mother did not believe in any religion or the presence of the divine. My father mocked any mention of miracles or supernatural events.
I have since realized that the divine plays a larger role in our lives than we are aware of. I also believe that things don’t happen to you, but they happen to you. I also believe that a lot of the “challenges” that come your way, come because the divine feels that you can handle them.
4. How did your views change regarding these elements from before doing this research and after?
I always thought that having wisdom was all or nothing, that you either had it or not. I explain this in the first chapter of the book. I did not realize that there were many dimensions and elements to wisdom. My research found these dimensions and also found that while one person may be strong in one dimension, they may be weak in another.
I also discovered that having wisdom equates to having a state of peace and contentment – a knowing that things will work themselves out. The fascinating individuals I talked to were very happy and calm. They felt that emotions can often get in the way and may not be helpful in one’s journey. They also did not seem to take things so seriously. What was most interesting was their interest in wanting to be more than wanting to do.
5. You state that people reading this book should revisit the book often. Why is that?
One’s perspective of a given element will change over time. For example, a person in their 20s will not think about their spirituality much but as they age they may start to question their existence and the meaning of life and the divine.
Also, the book gives people a sense of hope and optimism. When one is encountering challenging times, reading this book can help them “re-focus” and give them perspective.
Finally, the book can serve as a life manual. Life is a journey and while some are lucky to go on this journey with a friend, partner, or relative, not all have such a companion. This book can serve as a companion of life.
6. Following your research, do you believe that the purpose of life is to attain wisdom, or do we use wisdom for the purpose of attempting to understand the meaning of life? Or both? Why?
This is a question I have asked myself often. I would say that the answer is both. One should approach life experiences as learning opportunities. The opportunities serve a purpose that may or may not be obvious. For example, a person may be diagnosed with a disease that changes the way they view health and wellness. This disease modifies their perspective and their attitude about life. They are such a changed person following the disease that they can’t imagine ever not having the disease. The disease was a “horrible” situation that gave them so much, like a gift.
The second part of the wisdom question is in regard to whether wisdom can help with understanding the meaning of life. Having some of the elements or strengthening some of the elements can only help a person view life experiences positively. If a person were to approach a life obstacle with resilience (element 1) and positivity (element 3) that would help one manage life’s ebbs and flows with more grace. Having wisdom will teach others that an obstacle is a challenge they will overcome. The obstacle is not a disaster but an opportunity.
7. You discuss the interconnectedness of these elements. Why is it important for readers to understand how each of these elements are interconnected?
They are all interconnected in that you can’t have one without many of the other elements. As I found, one element may be stronger than others but having one element most likely means that they have other elements, as well.
For example, being resilient can be achieved with more grace if one is positive. The way one views life is different when one is positive. Another example is being spiritual, which depends on being curious and creative. When one thinks of the divine, they can use their imagination and think beyond the physical world. A final example is being humble. This is an element that overlaps greatly with kindness. By being humble, one is kind towards and considerate of another person. Humility and kindness allow for a way to connect with one another. Tolerance also overlaps with kindness. A kind person is interested in other people and is tolerant of those who look and/or act “differently.”
8. Do you think each person reading this will discover their own definition of wisdom? Why?
Yes. Each person will see what works for them. The book will teach them about the elements and they can decide what elements they are good at and what elements they need to build on. This “custom” formula will help them come up with their own definition of wisdom and the meaning of their life.
This is why this book is so profound, it is not implying that wisdom is an all or nothing phenomenon but instead is a set of elements. The project proves that wisdom is not a “one size fits all” game and just like we are all different, so is our sense of the world and wisdom.
The book is also helpful in that it does not imply that a person needs to have all elements. We interviewed 60 wise individuals and only one seemed to master all of the elements. This person taught wisdom to individuals above the age of sixty, so wisdom was his life’s focus.
9. What do you hope readers will take away from this book?
I have said many times that my goal in doing this work and writing this book is not to sell books and make money. My goal is to change lives. By reading this book, I want readers to realize that there is more to life than the glitz and glamour promoted on the internet, and that success looks different for everyone. Success is different for every person and it is linked to living a more meaningful life.
I also hope that this book will help readers realize that their thoughts and actions can influence their lives as well as the lives of others.
Ultimately, I hope that this book reminds people that meaning and happiness are more important to life than external factors.
10. Where can people purchase Common Wisdom?
Starting on March 19, it will be sold on Amazon. It will also be available on other websites and in bookstores throughout the country in the near future.
MEET DR. LAURA GABAYAN
Dr. Laura Gabayan is a world-renowned physician and researcher. Regarded internationally as an expert in the field of emergency medicine, she has received multiple research grants and awards for her work. She has also published dozens of papers cited by hundreds of researchers. She has now applied her scientific expertise to study the concept of wisdom. This discovery resulted in a first-of-its-kind multi-year research effort dubbed The Wisdom Project. It was designed with scientific rigor in mind and geared towards answering some basic questions: How is wisdom defined? What constitutes wisdom? How can we harness the power of wisdom to improve our everyday lives? Her work involves extensive interviews of 60 wise individuals. She shares the insights in her book Common Wisdom. The knowledge shared in this book is priceless and timeless.
https://lauragabayan.com/
EMBRACING THE JOURNEY: UNDERSTANDING AGING WITH GRACE AND DIGNITY
Aging is a natural and inevitable part of life, yet it is often accompanied by fears, uncertainties, and societal pressures. However, by embracing the journey of aging with grace and dignity, individuals can cultivate a positive and fulfilling experience that honors their unique journey and contributions. In this article, we explore the concept of aging with grace and dignity, the challenges and opportunities it presents, and strategies for navigating this journey with resilience and purpose.
Shifting Perspectives on Aging
In many cultures, aging is often viewed through a lens of decline and loss, focusing primarily on the changes associated with growing older. However, a shift in perspective is underway, challenging traditional narratives and celebrating the strengths, wisdom, and resilience that come with age. Embracing the journey of aging with grace and dignity involves reframing aging as a time of growth, fulfillment, and continued learning rather than a period of decline and limitations.
Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion
Central to the concept of aging with grace and dignity is the importance of cultivating self-acceptance and self-compassion. As individuals age, they may experience changes in their physical appearance, health, and abilities, which can trigger feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and inadequacy. By practicing self-compassion and embracing their inherent worth and value, individuals can navigate the challenges of aging with greater resilience and confidence, maintaining a sense of dignity and self-respect.
Building Supportive Networks
Navigating the journey of aging with grace and dignity requires support from family, friends, and the community. Building supportive networks of relationships can provide emotional, practical, and social support that buffers against the challenges of aging and promotes well-being, that might be joining local hobby groups or moving into Aliso Viejo memory care. By fostering connections with others and nurturing meaningful relationships, individuals can cultivate a sense of belonging, connection, and resilience that sustains them through the ups and downs of aging.
Finding Meaning and Purpose
Aging with grace and dignity involves finding meaning and purpose in the later stages of life despite the limitations and challenges that may arise. This may involve exploring new interests, hobbies, and passions, focusing on engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment, and nurturing meaningful connections with loved ones and the community. By embracing opportunities for growth, contribution, and self-expression, individuals can cultivate purpose and vitality that enriches their lives and enhances their well-being.
Maintaining Independence and Autonomy
Preserving independence and autonomy is an essential aspect of aging with grace and dignity, allowing individuals to maintain control and make decisions that align with their values and preferences. This may involve planning for the future, accessing supportive services and resources, and advocating for one's needs and rights. By taking an active role in their own care and decision-making, individuals can retain a sense of agency and empowerment that enhances their quality of life and preserves their dignity.
Conclusion
Aging with grace and dignity is about embracing the journey of life with courage, resilience, and self-compassion. By shifting perspectives, cultivating self-acceptance, finding meaning and purpose, maintaining independence and autonomy, and building supportive networks, individuals can navigate the challenges of aging with grace and dignity, embracing the opportunities for growth, connection, and fulfillment that come with age. Ultimately, aging with grace and dignity is about honoring the richness of life's experiences and embracing the journey with open hearts and minds.
REALIZING THE WHOLE SELF: EMPOWERING CHILDREN & TEENS TO BECOME CHAMPIONS OF LIFE
Here is a passage from “Wrestling Through Adversity: Empowering Children, Teens, & Young Adults to Win in Life” — A must-read and insightful book that shares timeless wisdom by Dr. Christine Silverstein
— With the advance of knowledge of neuroscience and the workings of the mind, there are opportunities to combine the best of technology and research on the brain and resilience to take advantage of a fundamental paradigm shift in mental healthcare in the 21st century.
In a paper by Max Bertolero and Danielle Bassett in Scientific American in July 2019 titled, “How Matter Becomes Mind,” the authors reported that there is an overabundance of flexibility in how networks reconfigure themselves in the brain in people with schizophrenia. Auditory hallucinations may result when nodes unexpectedly switch links between speech and auditory modules, resulting in what seems to be voices in one’s head. These findings may become an important factor in understanding the origin and mechanisms of “hearing voices.”
Researchers have identified an autoantibody that appears to cause schizophrenia in some individuals, which was reported by Hiroki Shiwaku et al. on April 19, 2022, in Cell Reports Medicine. The authors stated that their findings may lead to important improvements in the diagnosis and treatment of schizophrenia.
This research adds to the growing body of evidence to improve the lives of those with schizophrenia, but nothing adds more support and more impact than a new movement to shift mainstream psychiatric thinking away from medication and towards greater acceptance and respect, as noted by Daniel Bergner in his May 17, 2022 article in The New York Times “Doctors Gave Her Antipsychotics. She Decided to Live with Her Voices.”
The author’s narrative begins with a young child, Caroline Mazel-Carlton, when she was in daycare and started to hear voices. As she grew older into her diagnosis of schizophrenia, so did the mix of psychotropic pills, including antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, benzodiazepines, and stimulants. These drugs caused untoward side effects, such as weight gain, a feeling of losing control of her forearms, quivering of extremities, loss of hair, isolation, and a feeling of barely being human. Eventually, Mazel-Carlton spent time on a psychiatric “farm” in Appalachia, where she flushed her pills down the toilet, and her health improved.
When Mazel-Carlton was in her mid-twenties, she became a peer-support specialist at an organization now called the Wildflower Alliance, and she started leading “Hearing Voices Network” support groups. Mazel-Carlton and the Alliance are now at the forefront of a growing effort to thoroughly reform how the field of mental health approaches severe psychiatric conditions, calling for the end of involuntary and coercive treatments.
The World Health Organization (WHO) is now challenging biological psychiatry’s authority and its expertise and insight into the psyche because the medical model leaves those with schizophrenia feeling overwhelmed, disempowered, hopeless, isolated, and stigmatized. At the Alliance, participants are encouraged to speak about the content of their voices so they can attribute meaning to them with people who have similar lived experiences, which is healing for them as humans.
In 2022 Levine, who wrote about how professionals in the medical model traumatize and retraumatize people, perverting healing. With such traumatization, a person feels disconnected from one’s own self, from others, and from other aspects of life, like living in a community.
To begin the healing process, Levine posited, one must reconnect and become more whole. This requires the stripping of power away from disconnecting violators, but the first step of stripping away only opens the door to healing and realizing the whole self. The good news, Levine stated, is that there are many reconnecting paths to wholeness and to healing.
Mind Over Mat
At the beginning of this chapter, we started out on a journey in 1997 from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, when I set out to present a workshop to high school wrestling coaches on peak performance conditioning titled, “Winning the Mental Battle within Your Self.” I encountered many adversities along the way but managed to wrestle through them.
At the time in 1997, neuroscientists had not yet made the discovery of the role of mirror neurons and how children mimic everything adults do, including learning how to smile, how to empathize, and how to wrestle. I taught and used the peak performance techniques I call mindful toughness skillsets and psychodynamically turned anxiety into scoring by mentally rehearsing and mentally recalling past successes to prepare for the workshop presentation.
Descartes hypothesized that the soul communicated with the brain through the pineal gland, a small, pea-shaped structure located near the center of the brain, but modern neuroscience has cast doubt on the idea that there is a single, special location in the brain where the mind interacts with it.
Yet, in contemporary society, we are still treating persons with schizophrenia and other conditions with psychotropic drugs that affect the physical body in such injurious ways, including their psyches and spirits, by demoralizing them, ostracizing them, and alienating them from society, without viewing them as human beings who have potential to learn and grow from their lived experiences and voices from within.
This was the case with Mazel-Carlton who saw a roller derby competition for the first time and decided to focus on training herself to become a high scorer on her team, regardless of her predilection for hearing voices that could have sabotaged her efforts. She set her goals, turned turmoil into determination to achieve success, and where mayhem existed, she marshaled and psychodynamically deployed it into winning. Just like Kurt Angle who won the Gold, Mazel-Carlton had an Expectant Mind. She expected to win, and she did while she wrestled through the adversity called schizophrenia.
The graphic of the “Highway to Success” is a symbolic representation of how I use a whole-brained approach when working with clients. It is based on the results of the split-brain procedure, where subjects’ brains—those with epilepsy—were severed into two parts, and the work of Roger Sperry (1959-1968) and his colleagues whom I learned about in a college course.
What the researchers determined was that the two hemispheres in the brain control vastly different aspects of thought and action, as reinforced by Michael Gazzaniga in his article “The Split Brain Revisited” in Scientific American in July 1998. The left brain is associated with the conscious mind is logical but critical and is dominant in language and speech. The right brain is associated with the subconscious mind that is non-judgmental, playful and excels in visual-motor tasks.
The use of a whole-brained approach is ideal for teenagers and young adults because the linkages in their brains are growing in dimension and density until the age of 25, along with the ability to use imagery and their imaginations, as was explored by Jay Giedd in a June 2015 Scientific American article titled, “The Amazing Teen Brain.” The applications to learning how to use both sides of the brain could be employed therapeutically with someone like Mazel-Carlton, who had perfect college entrance test scores in English and was known as a great storyteller by her younger siblings. These gifts could have been psychodynamically turned into writing a novel or acting on a stage where she vividly tells her stories, so we can all learn from her wisdom and courage.
Just imagine if someone is told over many years that they are ugly, or stupid, or crazy, or bad, what can occur in life with low self-esteem and feeling devalued and worthless? This is something to consider for all adults, parents, teachers, coaches, professionals, and others in authority. That is, what we say, do, feel, or project to young people can have a positive or negative impact on them.
The beauty of learning mental rehearsal—that has been shown scientifically in a September 2014 Headlines article in Scientific American titled, “Why Mental Rehearsals Work”—is using a natural process that is portable and affordable. It saves wear and tear on the physical body while empowering people to win.
Think of how this skill can be taught to teenagers before they are in seclusion rooms in ERs, to allow them the privilege of feeling joy and reaching their potential in life rather than ending it by suicide.
EMOTIONAL HEALING WITH CRYSTALS
Messages and Insights from Interview with Uma Silbey
Much of crystal work is connected to pure awareness.
Crystal work is about linking all the subtle bodies and the physical body, the Earth, and so forth. Ultimately, wholeness. When body and mind are in alignment, you are in a state of total relaxation. It is not that you are going to be a ragdoll, but balance is relaxing. In addition, both are one.
When we are in balance, relaxed, and grounded in the earth. Our body and mind are connected, and we bring that energy down. In crystal healing, what we do is to set the conditions and the spirit heals. That is spirit and healing together. The whole thing is spiritual without using the words. You do not even have to think of it that way.
It was after years of working with yoga, meditation, and energy that I discovered crystal quartz. When I picked up my first crystal, I could feel the vibration quite clearly, and I knew I had to work with them. If you are open, an internal river of knowledge and information just flows through you.
Working with crystals helps you recognize impediments. It facilitates an energetic change.
At our essence, we are vibration. Everything vibrates at its rate. When you work with crystals, you can learn to feel it and sense it. Working with crystals, you make a vibrational change. It will make a physical, mental, and emotional change in some way that is appropriate, although it might not be what you think is the right way.
A vibrational change is appropriate in that it would be the deepest, truest healing. Even dying, maybe the deepest healing at that moment. In some way, we let go of our ideas of ourselves.
With the crystals, you become more sensitive as you work with them. You do not even need them. You can visualize a crystal and have its energetic work.
Having crystals makes things easier. Each stone has its quality, which you learn to sense. If you want to wear a crystal on your heart chakra, you cannot just hold it there all day. However, crystal bracelets and rings deal with the energy channels, as an example.
Working with patterns on the body involves sacred geometry.
I love being in the studio and all my music, I try to open the heart to go up in the heavens but come back in the heart. This combination of crystals and music amazes me. In shamanic healing, you may use your stones, or drums, or make sounds, and you activate that stone and then send it where it needs to go.
There are surface emotions that pass easily if they are painful and you do not like them. Beneath those surface emotions are others that support them. Underneath that, another layer, and you go down, you go down until you come to these core, important wounds. With crystals, you work first with anxiety and depression, until you get to the original event, and you can reframe it and learn a lot. You have to do it very skillfully and gently.
I think most healers have a background of pain in our past. We become emotional experts because we are very emotional. That has served us as painful as it was.
I used to kind of push away all my past of pain. I used to try to ignore and not tell anybody. However, you cannot ignore it because it lodges in your body. You have repetitive thoughts that are annoying at best. We do try to push them down because it is painful and it hurts.
You will know that crystal healing is working because you will be happier when it is working. I believe this is about crystals helping us with healing, emotional healing specifically.
All that exists is essentially space, a limitless space before awareness and beingness. This state cannot be mentally understood or explained, as it has no form, no beginning nor end. As manifestation comes into being from the formless state, it expresses itself as vibration.
The areas in your bodies, from the etheric to the physical, are clenched and holding these things. When you get that spacious awareness, your body tends to align, especially if you breathe.
As you align, the things that were tied to misalignment will be released. Moreover, when you are in a place of spaciousness, it is like the ultimate feeling of safety.
When working with the stones, you are aligned, grounded into the earth, and aligned up in the heavens for lack of words. Then, information comes and expresses itself. It just comes through. You need just to be aware. You are not being something, no words, but you can be in that space.
Crystals absorb energy. They absorb it, they magnify, they help transmit, and they transmute. You can be conscious of being aware. Then you say, “I am aware”. However, who is the “I am”? What are you referring? It is not the body or the mind. What is this “I”? Finally, you circle back to “I am, just awareness”. Who is aware of “I am”? It is a good meditation to do.
If you are aware of yourself, there is still duality. There is still someone being aware. When you are pure awareness, there is no one being aware. There is just awareness. We changed our point of reference.
No matter where you are, we are always here now, be here.
Many contemplation sentences are meditations in themselves. It is all about energy. Whenever you are doing any energy work, particularly healing work, it is important to stay grounded in the earth. I use the analogy of a tree and its high branches. It will fall over unless it also has deep roots.
What is the placebo effect? If you believe that something will happen, it will tend to happen. Our thoughts are powerful, that being one clear example. Therefore, part of crystal working is that when a stone does things, definite subtle energy shifts are going on, and there is the placebo effect.
If you expect that the healing will work, it will work a lot better than if you think this is not going to work. When you are actively resisting it, you cannot remit those energetic pathways.
Many times, we resist healing because we are afraid of emotional pain. We do not like pain. We will do a lot to avoid pain. It is a natural reaction. It is where relaxing, breathing, visualization, and all these ways help cushion, protect, and nurture you so that you can explore the pain at your own pace. I do not recommend rushing any of it.
Rose quartz is a heart stone that helps open the heart chakra. It is also a relaxing stone. If someone has the throat blocked, you rub energetically a rose quartz to release the blockage, and then you use your bluestone.
Non-judgmental and complete listening to another person is emotionally healing just in itself.
When you listen to someone, you do not make any decisions or judgments. Although it may react places in your body or you might just notice that, bring your attention back to the listening. Very few people listen to one another. Moreover, it is an amazing thing to have someone just listen to you.
When you have an intense emotion, like anger, there is no separation between you and the anger. A way to deal with it is by asking yourself, “Who is it that's angry?” You do not want to check out. You want to honor that emotion because it is expressing something probably that is out of balance.
The ability to hear the crystal is what underlines successful crystal healing work.
There is an inner hearing, like a strong intuitive sense. It has a meditate meditation. It is like, how do we hear? Where do I hear? In addition, focus on that hearing and then who is it that hears? The ears are doing something, but there is someone who hears.
“May golden healing light from the most high heavenly spirit; pour through your crown center, to fill your heart with petals of wisdom that flower in the heart of your being. May you be healed.”
THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF HAVING INDOOR PLANTS
In today’s fast-paced digital world, we can often feel disconnected from nature. However, there is a simple and beautiful way to bring the outdoors in - indoor plants! They do more than just brighten up a room or provide a touch of greenery amidst the urban concrete jungle. Indoor plants have a myriad of health benefits too, some of which you might not even be aware of.
Here are 15 health benefits of having indoor plants, proving that bringing nature indoors is not just aesthetically pleasing, but beneficial to our health as well.
Improves Air Quality
The first and most well-known health benefit of indoor plants is their ability to improve air quality. Through the process of photosynthesis, plants absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, creating a fresh and healthy environment within your home or office.
Some plants, like the snake plant and spider plant, even work overtime by filtering harmful toxins such as benzene and formaldehyde from the air. You can easily get these plants from a reliable plant delivery company, and start reaping the benefits of cleaner air.
Reduces Stress And Anxiety
A number of studies have shown that being around plants can significantly lower feelings of stress and anxiety. The calming influence of nature, even in small indoor doses, can have a profound impact on our mental health. This is particularly helpful in office environments where stress levels can run high. A simple potted plant on your desk can act as a natural stress-buster.
Increases Productivity And Concentration
Green is a color often associated with productivity, and there’s some truth behind this. Research has shown that having indoor plants can boost your concentration, productivity, and even your creativity. The sight of plants can stimulate your mind and keep it focused, improving your work or study output.
Helps Improve Sleep
One of the most unexpected yet pleasing benefits of having indoor plants is their role in promoting better sleep. Some plants, like soothing lavender and jasmine, are renowned for their sleep-inducing properties. They achieve this through the release of calming scents that can lower heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels - all of which are key elements in facilitating sound sleep.
Notably, these types of plants produce oxygen primarily at night. While all plants produce oxygen during the day, specific varieties, like the snake plant and orchids, continue this process when the sun goes down. This increase in oxygen level at night can improve the overall air quality in the room, making it an environment conducive to restful sleep.
Boosts Humidity
Indoor plants also naturally increase humidity levels by releasing moisture vapor into the air. This can help in environments where air conditioning or heating can make the air dry, causing discomfort and dry skin. Plants like the Boston fern are excellent at boosting humidity indoors.
Promotes Healing
You might have noticed that hospitals often have indoor plants. This is because certain plants can contribute to faster recovery. The presence of plants in a room has been linked to lower blood pressure, less need for pain medication, and shorter recovery times, especially in post-surgical patients.
Improves Mental Well-Being
Aside from the physical health benefits, having indoor plants can also contribute to your mental well-being. Taking care of plants can give a sense of purpose and act as a form of therapy. Also, the feeling of satisfaction as you see your plants grow and thrive is immeasurable.
Encourages Mindfulness And Relaxation
Tending to your indoor plants can be a form of mindfulness practice. The simple act of watering, pruning, or just observing your plants can keep you anchored in the present moment, promoting relaxation and reducing stress.
Enhances Memory And Concentration
Indoor plants can also have a positive effect on your memory and attention span. Being around nature, even indoors, can help improve memory performance and attention span by 20%, according to a study by the University of Michigan.
Natural Noise Buffer
Indoor plants can serve as natural noise buffers. They can reduce background noise levels by absorbing and reflecting background sounds. This can be particularly useful if you live in a busy city or near a busy street, making your home or office a more serene and tranquil place.
Boosts Immunity
Many indoor plants have antibacterial properties. For instance, the Snake Plant, also known as Mother-In-Law’s Tongue, emits oxygen while also filtering toxins from the air, thereby improving overall air quality. This can help to boost your immune system, keeping you healthier.
Fosters A Positive Outlook
Surrounding yourself with plants can help foster a positive outlook on life. Studies have found that nature can boost our mood and make us feel more optimistic and refreshed. The simple act of nurturing a plant can also give us a sense of achievement and satisfaction, promoting a more positive mental attitude.
Enhances Cognitive Function
Indoor plants can also enhance cognitive function. A study from the Royal College of Agriculture in Cirencester, England, found that students demonstrated 70% greater attentiveness when they were taught in rooms containing plants. This is thought to be due to the plant's ability to control humidity levels and reduce CO2, improving concentration and alertness.
Aids In Faster Recovery From Illness
Exposure to greenery and nature has been shown to aid in recovery from illness and surgery.
The positive psychological effects of having plants around contribute to a general feeling of well-being, which can help speed up recovery processes. This is why many hospitals and health facilities incorporate plants and green spaces into their decor.
Creates A Healthy And Sustainable Environment
Lastly, keeping indoor plants is a sustainable way to keep your environment healthy. By filtering air and requiring minimal care, they're a great eco-friendly choice. This also offers a chance to educate children about nature, nurturing, and sustainability.
In Conclusion
The simple act of adding indoor plants to your home or workspace can have profound effects on your physical and mental well-being. They are not only a joy to look at but also hard-working, silently improving our health in numerous ways. With a multitude of benefits and endless varieties to choose from, there’s a perfect plant for everyone. Start your journey towards a healthier, greener lifestyle today by adding some indoor plants to your surroundings. You will not only have a more beautiful living space but also a healthier environment to thrive in.
Written by Kyla Stewart
5 HEALTH BENEFITS OF SPENDING TIME IN NATURE DURING ADDICTION RECOVERY
The natural environment has a pure and healing quality to it.
Just imagine you are hiking across the mountains on a cool October morning.
You are sitting on the beach, watching the waves pound the sand, or just looking up at the starry night sky.
These visuals elicit strong emotions in us.
The theory behind nature therapy for depression and drug addiction is that spending time outside can help you recover more quickly. So if you're trying to overcome a drug or alcohol addiction, nature could be the perfect remedy.
Ascendant, a popular New York rehabilitation center, states the benefits of spending time in nature during addiction recovery, which is why they have included nature therapy in their treatment approach.
Why Should You Spend Time In Nature During Addiction Recovery?
Spending time in nature to recover from drug addiction can have great benefits and help you focus on healthy living and sobriety. Once you plan some activities outside, you can identify how they help you stay sober during addiction recovery:
1: Strengthens Immune System
Nature aids in strengthening our immune systems, which might be impaired as a result of addiction.
Going outside will provide your body with Vitamin D, essential for your immunity. People who don't receive enough vitamin D are more likely to get sick, develop diabetes, develop atrophic arthritis, and develop heart disease.
A person's immune system is also vulnerable to the same risks if they spend all of their time indoors.
The body cannot create a new form of reaction without experiencing the outside world and meeting new people. As a result, spending time outside and in nature will significantly aid in the development of your immunity during your addiction recovery.
2: Improves Sleep
It is prevalent for people in recovery from addiction to lose sleep.
However, because you are burning up your energy, indulging in outdoor activities in nature that make your heart pulse faster can help with sleeplessness. As a result, you're more likely to feel tired and sleepy
A good night's sleep is also essential for keeping a healthy lifestyle.
Unfortunately, almost everyone has fallen victim to a faulty sleeping system at some point in their lives.
Spending too much time indoors, in front of artificial light from TVs and computer screens might disrupt your sleeping cycles. The simplest solution is to spend more time outside. Going outside, especially in the early morning sunshine, can help you find your natural daily rhythm.
3: Manages Anxiety And Stress
Nature assists us in coping with stress and worry. Stress is processed differently in the body when you are surrounded by nature, and it becomes more bearable.
Even the scenery outside your window can help you calm your mind because seeing green instead of a screen is always a good idea to reduce stress and manage anxiety.
Nature can help us relax and think more creatively, just as it can help us relax and think more creatively.
Take your diary outside and write poetry while relaxing in nature if you enjoy reading and writing. Another advantage of the outdoors in addiction therapy is mental serenity and new coping skills.
4: Improves Focus
Staying outside and being surrounded by vegetation will also help you concentrate.
Even looking at greenery for 40 seconds, whether in an urban or natural setting, can boost our focus, which is beneficial for addiction treatment.
You can also employ mindfulness to help you focus on the sights, sounds, and smells while also generating sentiments and excitement. Additionally, because spending time outside refreshes one's mind, it can increase one's function and problem-solving abilities.
Hence, when you are in addiction recovery, you must focus on something, and spending time in nature can help you do that.
5: Encourages Exercise
We will be more likely to exercise if we stay outside. Nature gives us the freedom to move, walk, run around, or at the very least take a stroll and enjoy the landscape.
Physical activities like exercising outside can also help you get in better shape, allowing you to feel stronger, more robust, and more confident.
We can also work out outside with individuals we enjoy.
Loneliness can result from spending time alone at home. Instead, surround yourself with people, share your thoughts and ideas, and enjoy nature while distracting your mind from your addiction. Meeting new people and mingling can sometimes provide the most beneficial healing sessions.
Nature Activity Ideas
— Outdoor journaling is one of the most popular activities to do in nature. When you come out of rehab, you must have a lot of emotions piled up inside you, and if you start writing them in your journal, you will feel a lot better
— Gardening is also one of the best activities to do outside after addiction recovery. When you dig the soil, plant the seeds, water, and take care of the plants, you release the piled-up energy in a positive manner.
—Going for a hike is also a good way to spend time in nature, and it is one of the best exercises to do outside. So instead of taking a stroll around the block, head to the forest or mountains, and when you reach the top, you will feel a lot better.
—Getting creative with your artistic nature is another good suggestion to spend your day outside. You can sit in your backyard and draw the scenery you see in front of you. You can also let mother nature inspire you to write poems or song lyrics.
—Exercising in nature is indeed a good activity to adopt post-recovery. So instead of hitting the gym, do 30 minutes of exercise in nature. It will help you breathe fresh air. You can also go for a jog in the local park because staying in touch with greenery can help you commit to sobriety better.
Go Green!
Once you find out how spending time in nature helps you grow, you can recover from addiction and commit to your sobriety better.
Even if you are not undergoing recovery, spending time in nature is always a good decision.
So, if you want more information on these, reach us in the comment box. We will get back to you with an answer in no time.
MY VOICE
It has been told to me that when I walk into a room, my presence, alone, commands the room. Ironically, I am small in stature, so being told my presence is palpable compliments what I lack in height. It’s my birthday soon and as I reflect on my life, all the things I’ve done including those that I haven’t yet to do, the most important that stands out to me is my voice. Living more than half my life it probably took me that long to speak my voice.
Don’t get me wrong. I talk. I laugh. I cry. I sing. I scream.
You can hear my voice.
I speak.
What I struggled to do was speak my voice.
Growing up with a generation that told children to “speak when spoken to” or “children should be seen, not heard,” in congruence with a mother who stifled my ideas, my thoughts, my voice, probably because it is what she knew growing up – passing it along, at no fault of her own – I never spoke my voice.
It stayed inside my head.
I know many of you reading this are nodding your heads in agreement. Even those who didn’t experience these words as a child still struggle to speak their voice.
What is it that prevents many individuals from speaking their mind while others believe it is their right to speak their mind?
To speak their voice regardless of how it affects others.
So, how can we tell if the voice inside our heads is telling the truth or just a fountain of feelings that are temporary? When should we give ourselves permission to speak authentically? Is it acceptable to speak our voice even if it hurts, offends, or defeats others?
Both personally and professionally, speaking our voice comes with responsibilities, accountability, and, often, consequences. But there are techniques to speaking your voice effectively – to empowering others – fulfilling your dreams – to being a responsible, thoughtful speaker.
First, as you listen to the world around you and find space for speaking your voice, meditate on your self-awareness. What makes you angry? Why do you cry? What gives you hope? What are you passionate about? What is your “why?” Seek answers to these questions and speak your voice to share the responses.
What lifts you up will strengthen others.
Second, seek to look at yourself from a different perspective. Get out of “I” and look at yourself as others most likely see you. We tend to be so critical of ourselves that we start to believe the voice inside our heads.
Become omniscient. Dare to be all-knowing and watch your voice evolve.
Finally, as you become empowered by speaking your voice, remember the power of what you speak. Words and rhetoric are powerful tools to be utilized carefully.
Speaking our voice has the power to conquer feelings and destroy the emotions of others. It also has the power of divine intervention – to uplift others – to encourage – to motivate.
How do you choose to speak your voice?
Written by Dr. Anastasia Legakes
Meet Dr. Anastasia At https://languageofleaders.org/
BREATH HYGIENE: KEEPING THE MIND AND BODY HEALTHY
Over the past few weeks I’ve seen numerous social media posts counseling people to stay calm and stay clean. In my experience, employing good breath hygiene is the most effective way to both remain grounded and support immune and respiratory health. The breath is our greatest inner resource and with a little breath education, you too can develop the capacity to settle yourself, even when fear is gnawing at your gut! Initially, breath hygiene may feel unfamiliar or awkward (much like learning to wipe down everything you touch with disinfectant) but the more you work with it, the easier it gets. Here are five valuable tips for how you can use the breath as a powerful BFF to enhance emotional regulation, while simultaneously giving your immune system a boost:
1) Breathe Through Your Nose: I’m going to actually write that again in all caps to implore you: PLEASE, BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE. The nasal cavity is the miraculous starting point for your immune system. Your nose is designed to protect your lungs from foreign particles, including germs. Within the nasal cavity are tiny turbinates that work hard to filter out substances that are not intended to be ingested. Inside the sinus cavities you have pockets of Nitric Oxide, a potent anti-microbial gas that has been shown to have anti-viral capacities as well. With each nasal inhalation you ensure that the air you are taking into your body has passed through your natural TSA check-point, weeding out potential biological terrorists.
I suggest employing nose-breathing 24/7. For me this means taping my mouth each night before bed. Nose breathing at night supports deeper, more restful sleep. Sleep is an incredibly important factor in sustaining your health. Mouth-breathing is linked to snoring, sleep apnea, insomnia, dental decay, and poor gum-health. Mouth and chest breathing also foster anxiety and panic by stimulating the sympathetic nervous system. To employ mouth-tape at night, use hypo-allergenic paper tape, like 3M Micropore or Nexcare Paper Tape.
2) Breathe light : Although common lore says that when you feel nervous or upset that you should take a deep (implying BIG ) breath, I’m going to suggest the opposite. Here’s why:
Big breathing stimulates your sympathetic nervous system. You tend to take big sighs or gulps of air when you are stressed or physically working-out. When you are relaxed your breath is slow and soft. I routinely ask anxious clients, “How would Buddha Breathe?” Can you imagine Buddha huffing and puffing his way through meditation? If you invoke your inner-Buddha and settle the breath, you will find that the mind follows and settles in-kind. This is the key to the power behind yoga pranayama practices. When you quiet your breathing, the nervous system resets into relaxation mode. If your internal alarm system isn’t being fired off by hefty rounds of big breathing, your mind will likely cease and desist from agitating stories of impending doom.
3) Breathe slow: It’s not always easy, but the companion to a light breath is a slow, rhythmic breath.
Fast breathing correlates with a higher heart rate and the fight or flight response. It tends to give rise to shallow, chest-generated breathing. When you override the urge to breathe rapidly, you exhibit personal agency over your reactivity in the present moment. This is empowering! Regardless of the circumstances happening outside of yourself, you can choose to maintain a slow, light cadence: Inhale 4 seconds, exhale 6 seconds, pause for 2. This keeps your mind from being hi-jacked by fear while reinforcing resilience.
4) Breathe like a Jelly Fish: Imagine your diaphragm, which sits right in the center of your body expanding and contracting like a beautiful jelly-fish floating through the ocean. When you breathe in, your diaphragm flattens, expanding your rib-cage laterally. When you exhale, your diaphragm draws inward narrowing the dome into the concave space between the ribs. This action formulates the basics of functional breathing bio-mechanics.
The abdominal muscles also attach to the lower rib-cage and work synergistically with the diaphragm. You can actively engage your abdominals to amplify healthy diaphragmatic movement. To do this, span your hands around the lower side-ribs and upper belly. With each exhalation, draw the belly inward as if you were hugging your viscera and giving it a good squeeze. On inhalation, relax the belly and allow it to passively expand. Visualize the undulating movement of a jelly-fish and train your belly and diaphragm to dance with the breath, much as a jelly-fish propels itself through water. Jelly-fish breathing enhances your parasympathetic nervous system by gently pumping the vagus nerve and replacing the chest-breathing habit. It massages your heart and supports lymphatic drainage. When you jelly-fish breathe, the lower lobes of the lungs are better activated which improves ventilation and profusion with far less effort.
5) Short Breath Hold Practice - Your ER Breath Remedy: It may sound counter-intuitive, but the absolute most effective way to short-circuit the panic button is to voluntarily stop breathing.
Employing Short Breath Holds (SBH) in a repetitive fashion rebalances your oxygen and carbon-dioxide levels. This in turns, increases oxygenation to the tissues, reducing tension. The arteries dilate, airways reopen, and nervous impulses quiet down. All of these systemic responses support you feeling more in control and less likely to be emotionally de-railed.
Here’s how to employ a SBH practice:
a) Always work with the pause after exhale.
b) Take a gentle nasal breath in and out (light, slow, and low).
c) Seal your nostrils with your fingers and count gently up to 5.
d) Release your fingers and take another gentle breath in and out through the nose.
e) Take a second or third ‘recovery’ breath between breath-hold cycles as needed.
f) Repeat the short breath-hold process.
g) Gradually increase the hold to 6, 7, or 8 seconds.
h) Build gradually over several breath cycles until you feel a return to calm.
NOTE: Short breath holds are never to be done after the inhale. Only sustain the suspension of the breath to a level that feels slightly challenging, not to the point that you’re gasping for the next in-breath. Be sure that the inhalation that follows your breath-hold is nasal - through the nose. Also, feel free to adapt. If a 5 second initial hold feels too long, drop it down to 1, 2 or 3 seconds and build from there. If you feel comfortable extending the breath hold to 12 or 15 seconds, work at that level. Honor where you are with this process. As your respiratory system calms down, you’ll find it easier to volitionally suspend the breath for longer periods of time.
Why it Works: The intention of the SBH practice is to allow your CO2 levels to raise back up re-establishing homeostasis. CO2 has a sedative effect on your nervous system. It acts as a vasodilator and relaxes the smooth muscle in the body which is embedded in the airways, arteries, and organs including the brain. When you stress-breathe for a period of time, you can temporarily hyper-ventilate. This means you’re breathing too much and lowering CO2 levels below normal. The lower levels of CO2 can make you feel like you’re having a heart attack or possibly dying. SBH practice offers a safer and less-cumbersome alternative to paper-bag breathing. The paper-bag method (dramatized in movies as a response to panic attacks) is intended to restore CO2 levels, offering immediate relief.
SBH practice can also be used to stave off coughs, wheezing, or chronic congestion. I encourage my clients to sway, dance, or jog in place while practicing their breath-holds. This offers a useful and playful distraction, enabling more comfort while learning this technique. Others find accompanying SBH practice with the repetition of a silent mantra like, “Om Shanti”, or “Light, Love, Joy and Peace” to be very soothing.
To summarize, remember these salient points:
Breathe through your nose;
Breathe Light
Breathe Slow
Breathe Low (Jelly-fish breathing)
When feeling anxious, worried, or restless - reach for your innate rescue remedy: Short Breath Holds!
The brilliant thing about good breath hygiene is you can practice all day long and no wipes are required! Learning to breathe this way offers potent sustenance to embody a calm, relaxed, and responsive state of mind. May we all find our way through these turbulent times and model our commitment to health and sanity through proactive self-care like good breath hygiene.
Written by Robin Rothenberg
To learn more about Robin please visit: www.EssentialYogaTherapy.com
GRIEF AS A NORMAL PART OF LIFE
Coping with any loss may be one of the hardest challenges we face in life. It is a fact of life whether we admit or not. Let us be honest it scares us. When we lose a spouse, sibling, parent, friend, a favorite item, a house or anything that you think is of a value, that grief can be particularly intense. Loss is understood as a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock, confusion, anxiety and fear, leading to prolonged periods of sadness, the blues or gray days, loss of interests, irritability, withdrawal The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process in order to overcome the feelings and emotions so to embrace the time you had with your loved one.
Everyone reacts to loss differently and employs various personal coping skills for grief and loss. An example is: Henry, a close friend of my father’s. I met him when my father asked for help with a memorial. It was for Henry’s Rose who had passed away from metastasized cancer. My Father was a Chaplain, Henry ask him to do the memorial. Well Henry always felt depressed, from the loss of his wife. So he change from reading daily to her, to reading to the resident of the care center daily and he continued that until he passed away himself. When we talked together at my dd’s home, he told me that going up to the center, help him living and close to his wife. Yes, he was lonely, yet this made his life have meaning and he felt it honored his wife’s love and memory. Did he grieve, yes daily. Thought it also gave him strength.
People and families do recover from loss in their own way through the passage of time when they have positive social/family/employments supports and healthy habits. It can take months or years to accept a/the loss. There is no “normal” time period for someone to grieve or to feel the sense of loss. Don’t expect to just pass through any phases of grief or in a linear way. Many people can be all over the map. It is ok it is normal. It will take some time and thought before you are able to look back on the and loss.
Human beings are naturally resilient, we have the capability to endure what we do not believe we can. People do continue on with our own lives yet there are some that hold on so tight and choose not to heal and grow. There are some people that struggle so much with grief and loss for long periods of time and feel unable to carry out their daily activities. People that suffer severe grief and loss or complicated grief could benefit from further intervention from family, co-workers, peers, or a professional counselor and grief support groups. We all need support and assistance through this time. It is a fact that we cannot do it alone.
Moving On With Life
Many have talked about ”Mourning”, some cultures have specific times for “Mourning” because it is understood that people do better when they can move on even with having feeling of the grief and loss. During this time there can also be a renewed sense of meaning to life that offers purpose and direction to life.
Grieving individuals may find it helpful to use some of the following strategies to help them process and come to terms with loss. The following is an incomplete list of ways to care for yourself when you have Grief and loss. It is not an exhaustive list and not everyone will experience grief and loss in the same way.
1) Talk about the death of your loved one with friends or colleagues in order to help you understand what happened and remember your friend or family member.
2) Avoidance can lead to isolation and will disrupt the healing process with your support systems.
3) Accept your feelings. You may experience a wide range of emotions from sadness, anger or even exhaustion.
4) All of these feelings are normal and it’s important to recognize when you are feeling this way.
5) If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by these emotions, ask for help a friend, a coworker, use the Employee Assistance Program at work (confidential) a community support group.
6) Take care of yourself and your family. Eating healthy foods, exercising and getting plenty of sleep can help your physical and emotional health. The grieving process can take a toll on one’s Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual self and life.
7) Make sure you check in with your loved ones and that they are taking the necessary healthy steps to maintain their health.
8) Reach out and help others dealing with the loss.
9) Spending time with loved ones they can be great support and you may be a good support for them. You can be good support for each other together. Whether it’s sharing stories or listening to your loved one’s favorite music, these small efforts can make a big difference to some.
10) Helping others can the added benefit of making you feel better as well. Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones.
11) Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, or other events can be a difficult time for everyone, though it can also be a time for remembrance and honoring them.
12) Things that you can are: collect donations to a favorite charity in the family name, plant a tree or a community garden, donate a park bench, in another word when you are ready to celebrate life.
13) What you choose is up to you, as long it allows you to honor life and others that feel right to you. When the timing is right for you.
Grief and loss is a fact of life, I will not say it is not. It is painful, yet there is Healing, Growth and Recovery when you allow yourself to feel, have emotions, and feel those emotions, by taking care of yourself and your life.
Written by Marc Baisden
FIVE LIFE AGREEMENTS FOR A HEALTHIER LIFE
AGREEMENT 1: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
When you stand by and follow your word (not promises) you build Integrity, creditability, and more important BELIEVABILITY.
Remember that your word (s) and action(s)/inaction(s), have:
1) Power- A) Internal B) External
2) Influence- A) Internal B) External
What you do or do not do/ say or do not say not only affects you, yet also the people, places and things around you. Even what you don’t see. It is the ripple effect.
AGREEMENT 2: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Everything is not about you. It is more than likely about the way you are acting, or something another person is trying to project onto you.
People react or respond to your behavior, not who you as a person.
When you take things personally you assume responsibility that is not yours. “Your Heart Is known by the path you walk.”
AGREEMENT 3: DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Making assumptions set’s yourself and others up for conflict and chaos. This is no different than an expectation.
Assumptions are nothing more that faulty perception and beliefs. That you generally act on and create conflict and chaos.
AGREEMENT 4: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is first for yourself not others, they are the honored recipients of you doing your best.
Your best will change from situation to situation, as you learn from each experience,
Your best will change over time.
By doing your best you do not give power or control of yourself to others.
AGREEMENT 5: BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN
Don’t believe yourself or others until you have listened. Most of our knowledge is based on faulty information, beliefs, and or perceptions. Question yourself, ask for more information. Even the decision you made has a little doubt (what is called second-guessing).
Reasonable doubt used in our Courts is a good way to be skeptical without closing off others or being rude.
Do not just listen to the words, but listen to the intent behind the words. Do the actions or behavior match the words and situations?
All information has a kernel of truth and insight, yet from there, anything can happen to it.
“Life (external) only intrudes, as long as we allow it”.
~ Eugene Cummunings
Written by Marc Baisden
CAN REAL LOVE IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH AND MORE?
What “if” one simple concept might help improve your health and other areas of your life too? What if … life could be easier if we learned to change our perspective and see things in a new way?
Real love, unconditional love, is an energy, some say, is the foundation from which everything emerges into our world. It is the energy which grows us from microscopic cells into full grown adults without a manual! It is the energy which breathes us, pumps our heart, allows us to walk, talk, taste, see, touch, eat, digest food, eliminate waste without having to micro manage our bodies!! It grows everything in nature, including animals, insects and microscopic creatures we never even know exist! It never stops giving no matter how much we take.
Many of us love to hold a new born baby or puppy or kitten, fresh and still connected to their Divine Nature. Watch very young children and they rarely judge anyone by their color, deformity, wealth, race, age, poverty or gender. They just love everyone! They must be taught who to trust, who to fear, who to judge, who to love. None of these things come naturally. Soldiers must be trained and brainwashed into “hating the enemy” in order to be good, strong soldiers. It is not in their nature to just easily kill other people.
Loving without conditions means there is no judgement, revenge, punishment, inspiring feelings of guilt and shame. You can… not like or approve of what someone does, however, you still love them. You love for the joy love gives you, because it is your natural nature to do so. It’s like breathing. No one must act or behave in a certain way to earn your love. Love given without conditions is what heals, transforms, opens hearts, soothes the pain, turns someone around. While hate and revenge only continue to inspire more of the same!
When you judge, hate, feel wounded or enraged, your entire body suffers! Your breathing is more shallow. It’s more difficult for your heart to pump and your muscles all tense up greatly constricting many other functions in your body. You get fatigued very easily. Sometimes just for a few minutes, and other times for hours or you are angry for days on end! Stress is not beneficial for our bodies and can create illnesses and dis-ease..
No one forces you to judge, hate, and become enraged. These are habits often taught, or acquired and developed over years and years, often evolving from many sources. They can be changed. You are always “free to choose” how you respond to every single situation in your life.
When you learn to make “loving without conditions” a new habit, less and less things bother you anymore. As you learn to love yourself and others without conditions, you learn we are all doing the best we can every day, even though that might not be very good some days and better on others. When you choose to love, you think and respond with more compassion, understanding and clarity. You make better decisions. You feel better and are healthier because of this.
You cannot change the entire world, stop the wars, end hunger, prevent hurricanes and tornadoes, end mass shootings. You can, however, send all those situations, and all those people “Unconditional Love for their highest and best good.” Your unconditional loving energy can help transform the world, and in doing so, you also help yourself to live a happier, healthier, more joy filled life in many new ways!
This article was written by Morgine Jurdan
Click HERE to Learn more about Morgine’s work.
WEBSITE: https://morginejurdan.com/
LOVE IS A STARTING POINT FOR ACTION
“All you need is love,” sang the Beatles many decades ago. It’s a song still sung today. And for good reason. The tune is catchy, and the message is hopeful: “There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.”
Were it that simple. Love, after all, is our greatest joy. But it can also be complex and complicated. Loving someone “for better or worse, in sickness and in health,” means taking the good with the bad. And that’s not always easy.
Many—if not most—of us will have to take care of the person we love during an illness. It might be for a day, a week or even longer. Some may find it a daunting challenge. For me, it’s a call to action.
Over the past two and a half decades, my husband has been hospitalized many times. Often, it’s involved life-threatening illness with long periods of hospitalization and recuperation. In times like that, I do everything in my power to help him get better. Love is the starting point for advocacy.
Along the way, I have learned a lot about the hospital setting and the very real impact that families can have in making sure their loved ones get the best care. Hospitals are bureaucratic and scary places. For patients and their families, it can feel like being tourists lost in a strange land, not knowing the customs, the language or the culture.
Patients are weak and flat on their backs. They are usually in no position to advocate for themselves. Doctors are busy, rushing from one patient to the next; nurses are stretched, trying to meet the many needs of their patients.
Families can make a difference. They can represent the patient’s wishes and needs when their loved one is unable to speak for him or herself. Knowing the patient better than anyone else in the hospital counts for a lot when navigating the impersonal environment of a hospital setting. Families—working as members of the care team—can also connect the dots because doctors, quite honestly, don’t always communicate well with one another.
Families can fill in the blanks when the sick patient doesn’t fully comprehend everything being said or is not able to remember it later. They also can bring information, perspective and insight that patients may forget or are uncomfortable sharing themselves.
And when the patient goes home, continued care must involve the family to ensure instructions are followed regarding medication, doctor visits, exercise, restrictions, and more.
Much is written about patient-centered medicine. But research shows that patient and family-centered medicine provides the best clinical outcomes, increases patient satisfaction, lowers costs, reduces risks of readmission and can even save lives.
Families can and do make a real difference. They start with love and build from there. There’s one more line from the Beatle’s song that applies here: [There’s] … “no one you can save that can't be saved.”
The one you help save just may be the one you love most.
# # #
Bonnie Friedman is author of Hospital Warrior: How to Get the Best Care for Your Loved One and host of the podcast Hospital Warrior: Advocates and Experts on the Whole Care Network.
This article was written by Bonnie Friedman
Click HERE to Learn more about Bonnie’s work.
WEBSITE: www.hospitalwarrior.com
I AM THE MAGIC IN THE BIRDS SINGING
I am the magic in the birds singing
I am the colors in the rainbow
I color the sky with my radiance
and i fill the forest with my loam
I am the mountains meeting the sky
all day long
for in one drop of water
and in one grain of sand
in one cell of my body
the world
is made whole again
as i breathe
I take in life
and let it go
my hair, my skin, my breath
fall upon the earth
composting into soil
eaten by worms and bugs
eaten by animals and birds
who
living in trees
fertilize the tree
with their excrement
and the tree
growing fruit i eat
eating myself
again and again
becoming whole
and being
a part of it all
I am the beginning
I am the end
without an end
the deepest feeling anyone has
the deepest love
the deepest pain
the greatest longing
the peace beyond transcendence
bliss
anguish
terror
fear
they are all me
they are all mine
all Divine
all that I AM
There is no richness i cannot have
there is no pain i cannot feel
there are no lines
no divisions
no time
no separations
i come from a place
that remembers it all
and into which
all life flows
because
Love is all there is
and in the
moment of true reflection
I fall down
and weep
in the arms
of myself
This article was written by Morgine Jurdan
Click HERE to Learn more about Morgine’s work.
WEBSITE: https://morginejurdan.com/
LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW
When its early or late, I can’t see outside.
It’s dark and that means the outside just hides.
But the moment it’s light, great things come in view
My window shows me the things that are new.
When I look out my window I see cars drive by.
And with eyes looking up I see airplanes on high.
When I look out of my window I see wind in the trees.
The branches all dance as it moves through the leaves.
When I look out of my window, I see rain and some snow.
The cars and the trucks have to go really slow.
When I look out my window, I see people walking.
With arms always moving – they never stop talking.
When I look out my window, it’s my neighbors I see
And they always do smile and wave right back at me.
When I look out my window, I see kids on the bus.
Laughing and talking with so much to discuss.
When I look out my window I see men who are mowing
the yards and the grass that never stops growing.
When I look out of my window, I see squirrels and some birds
They get a lot done without using our words.
When I look out my window I see big and small dogs
I see all sorts of birds and some snakes and some frogs.
When I look out my window, I see flowers so bright.
Red and dark blue, yellow, orange and some white.
When I look out my window, thick clouds and some thinner,
Go racing by, now who is the winner?
When I look out my window, I see runners jog
They run in the rain, in the wind and the fog.
When I stand at my window, something important I see,
Dad’s car comes in view, coming home to see me.
I spend time at my window, stand still and don’t race.
This is my special and very remarkable place.
To watch all that happens and to learn about me.
There is so much to watch, to notice and see.
So I stand at my window and take it all in.
I watch, look and listen, and take life for a spin.
This article was written by Jay Forte
Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work
WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/
REDUCING EMOTIONAL EATING
Having high emotional granularity is a vital tool for reducing emotional eating. The term was coined by Northeastern University Psychology Professor Lisa Feldman Barrett shortly after the turn of the century and refers to the ability to recognize, identify and express a full range of emotions. People with high emotional granularity have “finely tuned feelings.” They value emotions and are in touch with them most of the time. Moreover, they don’t lump all emotions together, but feel and can describe their nuances. Upset might be parsed as frightened, dismayed or exasperated. Angry might be viewed as frustrated, helpless or fearful.
Says Barrett, “Emotional granularity isn’t just about having a rich vocabulary; it’s about experiencing the world, and yourself, more precisely. This can make a difference in your life. In fact, there is growing scientific evidence that precisely tailored emotional experiences are good for you, even if those experiences are negative.” (“Are You in Despair? That’s Good,” The NY Times, 6/3/16, http://clbb.mgh.harvard.edu/are-you-in-despair-thats-good/#more-7340, accessed 1/29/19).
“According to a collection of studies, finely grained, unpleasant feelings allow people to be more agile at regulating their emotions, less likely to drink excessively when stressed and less likely to retaliate aggressively against someone who has hurt them…Perhaps surprisingly, the benefits of high emotional granularity are not only psychological. People who achieve it are also likely to have longer, healthier lives. They go to the doctor and use medication less frequently, and spend fewer days hospitalized for illness. Cancer patients, for example, have lower levels of harmful inflammation when they more frequently categorize, label and understand their emotions.”
There’s evidence that emotional granularity improves mental health. Higher emotional granularity translates to better coping skills and, therefore, fewer maladaptive behaviors such as addictions. Relationships also improve when people are attuned to emotions.
How emotionally granular are you? Do you have difficulty identifying your feelings? Do you ignore them? Lump them together? Therapy can help because it provides a safe place to learn about and discuss emotions. By becoming more tuned in to them, you’ll up your emotional intelligence and do less mindless or binge eating.
This article was written by Karen R. Koenig
Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.
WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/
http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/
WHEN IT’S JUST NOT YOUR DAY
I knew it first thing, when I started the day
That things were not going to go in my way.
I tried to be happy and grateful, I say.
But I really knew, it was just not my day.
I tripped on the stairs and came down with a crash.
Into the sink went my phone, with a great splash.
The note for my teacher got thrown in the trash.
This day, I just knew, would not go by in a flash.
At school I forgot that my project was due.
At lunch they were serving a yucky beef stew.
In art class I spilled a container of glue.
Not a good day, this is something I knew.
My teacher seemed to just focus on me.
Telling and scolding is all I did see.
“Start over! Be quiet! Stand in line!” said she.
Today is not great, I bet you agree.
I missed the bus and walked home in the rain.
I stepped off the curb and gave my ankle a sprain.
I got soaked with the spray from a very fast train.
Today, you can see, is a very big pain.
Home and all wet, off to my room with a huff.
I needed a moment when feeling this gruff.
Things that had happened were so truly tough.
Today, on this day, I had just had enough.
Off to the kitchen with my head in my hands
Upset at a day that I did not understand.
How things can go so against all my plans.
Today, was the worst day in all of the land.
Mom asked, “What’s up, what’s making you sad?”
“Nothing,” I said, trying not to get mad.
“Tell me,” she said, “About the day that you had.”
Can we make it much better, or a little less bad?”
I shrugged then recounted without a delay
How everything seemed to just not go my way.
Not sure what could help or what thing she could say
That would improve this most terrible and horrible day.
She smiled and said, “Some days make you scream
They feel like an awful and really bad dream.
There one thing that makes it a bit less extreme
A bowl, no, a big bowl of your favorite ice cream.”
Two scoops and my mood changed, right on the spot.
We talked about things and what the day brought.
Some things just work out and some things just do not.
Life send what it sends, you get what you got.
Don’t argue and stress and get all distraught.
Be patient and learn from all you’ve been taught.
This article was written by Jay Forte
Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.
WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/
RECOVERING FROM EATING DISORDER
Putting Emotions To Work To Overcome Your Eating Disorder
Whether you’re just beginning to address your under- or overeating problems or have been making steady progress over years or decades, there’s one area that you will have to come to terms with sooner or later to achieve full recovery. To achieve a satisfying, nourishing, happy, and successful life without food problems, you will have to learn how put your emotions to work for you. This means not dancing around them by eating or calorie counting, obsessing about what you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t eat, or focusing on whether the numbers on the scale are moving up or down.
For many disordered eaters, identifying and sitting with feelings is the last hurdle to becoming a “normal” eater. Most are willing and often eager to practice new food- and weight-related behaviors, such as making satisfying food choices, eating mindfully, taking larger or smaller bites, throwing out the scale, eating without distractions, taking deep breaths after each mouthful, and staying connected to the body’s pleasure center during the eating process. But most people with eating problems—actually, most people, period—have difficulty getting comfortable with feelings. It’s important for you to recognize that disordered eaters are far from the only ones who have difficulty handling emotions. To greater or lesser extent, everyone does.
Unfortunately, every time you use food (move toward or away from it) instead of feeling an authentic emotion, you miss an opportunity to discover something about what’s happening in your internal world. Think of your emotions as equivalent to your senses. The latter alert us to our reaction to our environment—thumbs up or thumbs down—through touch, smell, sight, hearing, and taste. Our feelings have a similar function as they provide us with information about our reaction to people and situations. The function of both our senses and our emotions is to move us toward pleasure and away from pain. Emotions help us decide what is self-threatening—smelling smoke and seeing flames across the room—and what is self-enhancing—sensory delight derived from gazing out over the ocean as gulls soar overhead and the sun dips into the sea.
— True self-care is about holistic health. Jill Kay recently introduced me to Arbonne, the #1 global brand for healthy living inside and out. I tried the products and loved them! Check out their certified vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free, nontoxic products by clicking HERE. You will be very surprised! —
If you’re like most people, you don’t realize the value and purpose of emotions and assume they’re not important, or worse, that uncomfortable feelings should be avoided at all cost. But, I bet you’d never think of shutting off your senses and wandering through the world without them. Well, that’s exactly what you do every time you ignore or minimize a feeling.
What if emotions aren’t the demons you’ve made them out to be? What if emotions are your teachers and your care-takers? What if they’re not trash but treasures?
One of the reasons that emotions get a bad rap is that they can feel truly awful. We may believe that if something doesn’t feel good, it can’t be good, but this is far from the truth. There are lots of painful cures to what ails us that we tolerate because we know they are necessary and promote ultimate health and well-being—injections, dental fillings and implants, physical therapy, and surgery, to name a few. No one says, gee, terrific, I’m going to have my body sliced open today and then I’ll be in pain for weeks on end recovering. However, inspite of the fact that it’s often a nasty business, people schedule surgery because they know they’ll feel better in the long run.
The same is true of emotions. Just because they hurt or make you feel badly does not mean they are bad. Like musical notes and colors (and foods too!), there are no good or bad emotions. They’re what’s called value neutral. Think of them as messengers, giving you vital information about what’s happening within your internal landscape—you’re disappointed, ashamed, overwhelmed, overjoyed, furious, grief-stricken, content, shocked, revolted, elated, confused, lonely, excited, helpless. True, some of these feelings are excruciating and hard to bear, but they do pass and people survive them every day and have since the beginning of human existence. Half the battle is allowing yourself to be with your feelings without making judgments about them or the kind of person you are for having them. It’s a great deal easier to acknowledge, identify, experience, explore, and deal with feelings without all the associated criticisms you have of them or of yourself.
Recovering from an eating disorder means blossoming into a full, emotionally mature person. For that to happen, you must (yes, must) learn to experience all of your feelings; you can’t pick and choose. Becoming emotionally healthy is an all or nothing proposition, but one you can learn over time. If you believe you can’t bear your feelings alone, find a therapist who can guide you through them. Share your feelings with friends, start a journal, hug yourself, cry, holler til you’re hoarse, beat your pillow, sob til you’re exhausted.
At some point in recovery, you have to choose between food and feeling. You already know where your food obsession will lead you, so why not give feelings a try?
This article was written by Karen R. Koenig
Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.
WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/
http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/
UNDER ONE GREAT BIG SKY
No matter your work – if you build, write or fly.
No matter your race – if you’re a girl or a guy.
No matter if you’re bold, or tall or just shy
We show up each day, under the same great big sky.
Some try to say, that they know what’s right.
They push and control – they do things with might.
Some say, “Be like us or we can’t let you in.”
“And we don’t really like the the color of your skin.”
Some feel they were born better, more important or greater.
Some think it’s okay to be a big hater
Of people who are different, and those not so spry,
But we all live right here, under the same great big sky.
Some think they are better by the things that they own
Where they shop, what they buy, or how well they are known.
They compare and complain about all of the others.
They forget that down deep we are all truly brothers.
Not one of us is more special, not one wins the prize.
Not one has more value, or a right to despise.
Not one has more worth – let me just simplify,
We each show up now, under the same great big sky.
We are all different – the face, skin and the nose;
The successes and failures, the highs and the lows.
Down deep is your spark, a gift so divine.
Know it and live it; it’s yours and its mine.
You are amazing, great, awesome and blest.
You have strengths and big gifts, just like all of the rest.
If we’re all so amazing, I have to ask why
We can’t get along, under this one great big sky?
Right here and right now, we’re all sharing space.
No matter the skills, or gender or race.
It belongs to us all, not some, not a few.
We all really matter. Me, him, her and you.
When you look at another don’t find fault and take part
In judging, critiquing. Focus more on their heart.
See they are trying to live and get by
Hoping and dreaming, under our one great big sky.
Make room in your space for those who don’t share
Your approach to this life and about what you care.
Imagine if you will – you can if you choose –
A world where all matter, not one where some lose.
What has to change in you and in me
To live in a world where we all get to be
Just who we are, with no need to be shy
Living together, under our one great big sky?
If you see someone living with treatment unjust,
One who is struggling – pay attention – we must.
Tune in to notice what’s really there.
Reach out, go help, and be ready to care.
We each get to be here, to work hard and try
No matter our race, whether a girl or a guy.
No matter our work, if we build, write or fly;
To be our best selves, under our one great big sky.
So, look just above at this space big and wide.
It’s there for us ALL; it’s there to provide.
We each get this space, this time and this life.
Respect it and share it, don’t bring on the strife.
Show up on purpose! Be here! Don’t be shy!
Let’s all make some room, under our one great big sky.
This article was written by Jay Forte
Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.
WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/
YOU AND I ARE NOT THE SAME – OR ARE WE?
You and I are just not the same;
You are so wild and I am all tame.
You are so tall and I show up short.
You like the game shows, I just like sports.
You like all meats and I eat just greens.
You read great books and I like to dream.
Your hair is wavy, straight is what’s mine;
Your best number is 6 and for me it’s a nine.
You like to run and you love to race,
I like to walk at a much slower pace.
Your music is Bach and mine is the Boss,
Your pasta has butter, I like mine with a sauce.
You eyes are deep blue; mine are all brown.
You like the city, I love the small town.
You are so strong, from time at the gym.
I take long walks, that’s how I stay trim.
You love the summer, the heat and the breeze.
I love the fall with the bright-colored leaves.
You love to eat and I love to cook.
You would never, ever, be found with a book.
You speak a language that rolls all your r’s
I could spend days just dreaming of cars.
Your skin is dark, mine is much lighter;
You are a lover and I am a fighter.
You go to college and I work at night.
You like movies that bring on some fright.
You like to earn money, I like to invent.
Hotels are for you, but for me it’s a tent.
Fancy is your choice, mine is just plain.
You like the sun, but give me the rain.
I see all these things that make you not me.
So different we are, there just can not be
One thing that unites us, one thing for us all –
One thing that never makes us feel small.
But wait! I see it. It is really bright.
That one thing, that something, that makes us unite.
The more that I watch, pay attention and see,
You are actually more, not less, just like me.
We’ve been taught to see differences, to make us all hate,
To see what is wrong, and not see what is great.
But inside our outsides, we’re really alike.
We want the same things; we want a great life.
The one thing that we, really do share –
A need to be loved and a need for great care.
To feel valued and important, to live and let be,
To move through this life and live really free.
See, life makes us different so we each have our place.
Differences help us find our own space.
Differences should never make us act greater
Than anyone else – don’t be a big hater.
Look past the differences that let us be us.
Look past the things that create all the fuss.
Look past the height and look past the weight.
Look past the skin, the hair and those traits.
Look past where they’re from, what language they speak
Look past their habits and if they’re a geek.
Look past their jobs, their careers and their work.
Look past their hobbies, their interests and quirks.
Look past their religion and what they believe.
Look past their competitive need to achieve.
Look instead, in each other, to see what is great.
The kind heart, the love - see these kinds of traits.
Look for their passion, their joy and delight;
Look for their spirit, their inner great light.
See that down deep they are really like you.
Trying to be honest and loving and true.
See me as different, then see me the same;
Get past my outside and see my true flame.
I’m different about things that create all the chatter.
But I am just like you for the things that do matter.
I’m human like you and one wish to define,
A life that is happy and loving for all time.
This article was written by Jay Forte
Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.
WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/