JOY

JOY

It didn’t come

swiftly, and certainly not expediently.

 

It didn’t come

racing in as if it were trying to beat the clock.

 

It didn’t come

in a reckless manner,

wildly demanding space for a home here.

 

At times, it peppered my days,

my life, though with never enough

substance, clout, or influence to sustain.

 

At times, it came

in waves, pensive,   with hesitation

as if it was suspicious of this container’s,

this body’s capacity to hold its’ value.

 

But one day, it came

unceremoniously,

to liberate.

 

It came with a grace

that was almost

startling.

 

It announced boldly

 

“I am JOY, and I will live HERE.”

Written by Mary Tinucci

https://thinkinpossibilities.com

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY BEAUTIFUL OASIS OF FLESH

I praise my own geography at last …

I am so grateful for my beautiful oasis of flesh which carries me about in this garden of life.

Each little dimple and wrinkle, each crevice and valley all my own.

There is no where else on earth I could find a place such as this, so alive, so divine and uniquely me.

I rub my hands gently absorbing the stories it tells me of holding life and birthing babies, slicing and taking away my gallbladder, walking up mountains, climbing tall trees and jumping off.

— True self-care is about holistic health. Jill Kay recently introduced me to Arbonne, the #1 global brand for healthy living inside and out. I tried the products and loved them! Check out their certified vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free, nontoxic products by clicking HERE. You will be very surprised! —

I remember walking across coals and never being burnt. My spirit telling me to go ahead, because it was all an illusion anyway.

My beloved body carries me to and through every moment there is and beyond, allowing me to respond to life and its glorious magnificence. Feeling the wet grass beneath my feet, snowflakes coating my hair.

I inhale the fragrance of Freesias, appreciate their vibrant colors and taste chocolate upon my lips, all with this sacred vessel in which I can experience the Divine and the all which I am! I praise my own geography at last!

This article was written by Morgine Jurdan

Click HERE to Learn more about Morgine’s work.

WEBSITE: https://morginejurdan.com/

I LOVE ME…

For everything I am

for everything i am not

I love me

at my best

and

at my worst

I love me

smiling frowning laughing

playing screaming crying pounding

I am always Grace

no matter what face I wear

you are my reflection

and I am yours

I love me

for the Sake of Loving

for the Honor and Appreciation

I feel and experience

fully embracing

all of me

for in Receiving

All I am

in

Every Precious Moment

nothing gets wasted

all of me remains

Whole and Perfect

held in the universal heart

where the Love

which is always embracing me

the Love

which is everywhere and endless

allows space for

my Grace to grow

and know itself fully

once again.

I am so Grateful

I am extended the gift

of my friendship

so i can dance into the beauty

I truly am

This article was written by Morgine Jurdan

Click HERE to Learn more about Morgine’s work.

WEBSITE: https://morginejurdan.com/

ORGASMS IN MY SALAD BOWL

Mother earth

delightedly tickled 

by birds pecking for insects

in her soft green grass

roots of trees

sensuously digging deeply

into her rich brown earthen body

seeds bursting with new green life

twining up through the soil

undulating contracting stimulations

nematodes and earth worms crawling 

animals digging sensuously or hard

burrowing creatures living inside her

sun stimulating growth

warming her body

and all that grows there

rain massaging her soil

into luscious soft wet mud

the cooling blankets of snow

allowing for pleasurable rest

orgasms of delight

beneath my naked feet

Bees sensually dancing

on a flower’s face

exchanging pollen

shudders of ecstatic delight

butterflies kissing blossoms 

satisfying rapture peaks

as hummingbirds suck their nectar

spiders weave their webs

bugs joyfully adventure 

between the petals and leaves

in the bark of trees

passion amidst the plants

zest and joy climaxing 

in the sunlight 

Luscious sounds 

fertilizing flowers and trees

and all the plants i eat

birds songs   

a chorus of frogs

crickets singing  coyotes howling

love making in the moonlight

rainbows 

the climaxing dance of the sun 

caressing the rain

wind’s erotic play 

with the leaves of trees 

embracing clouds in the air

blowing the ocean’s waves

here and there

Orgasms in my salad bowl

exhilarating joyful

pinnacles of delight

eager avid eternal 

exchanges of love

satisfying passions 

the rapture and glow

wherever i go

nature in love with itself

in love with each other

my salad 

lovingly prepared

feels so alive

so ripe and juicy

orgasmic vibrations

still flowing to me

and through me

as we become one

again and again

i pause and breathe in

the grace and love i feel

as orgasms explode 

inside my body

and the circe begins again

This article was written by Morgine Jurdan

Click HERE to Learn more about Morgine’s work.
WEBSITE:  https://morginejurdan.com/

SYNERGISTIC LIFESTYLE: PUTTING EVERYTHING TOGETHER

Changes are not easy; they bring with them a lot of resistance. However, I have learned to embrace them throughout the years, but, while they happen, they make me uneasy. They bring uncertainty, which drives me crazy. Nevertheless, whenever I find myself anxious about what the future will bring, I sit down, meditate and repeat the following mantra: "I trust". And I really do trust, I know that no matter what, the universe will never take me to a worse place, quite the contrary, I know it'll be to a better one.

And so, it was. After saying good-bye to toxic relationships, toxic environment I saw my life change for the better. The new changes I made included hanging out with positive people, people who were into health and nutrition, spiritual people, people who appreciated the different cultures of the world, open-minded people, and successful people. They say that you're the average of the 5 people you hang out the most with, so, I became very careful about who I let into my life, and, most importantly, who I spent my time with. 

Moreover, I changed my environment for good: I got rid of blue lights and added incandescent lightbulbs to my house, Himalayan salt lamps, and an essential oil diffuser; I added blackout curtains to my room, and started using a night mask when I went to bed to make sure my body got adequate sleep; I made sure that the products I used on my body did not include SLS, Fragrances, nor a bunch of ingredients I was unable to pronounce (this was for anything touching my body such as shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, lotions, etc.); furthermore, I got rid of so much clutter in my living spaces: I kissed good-bye a lot of things I didn't use or old things which were only taking up room and not allowing new things to come. 

When it comes to my diet, I went 100% organic and gluten-free, and reduced to almost 0 my sugar and vegetable oil consumption. Unfortunately, some foods will include these ingredients which makes it really hard to eliminate them from your diet. Some food examples where these ingredients lurk include: salad dressings, chocolate nut milks, bread, etc. 

At the end, a major makeover was needed. And I took the same principles I used in fitness, diet and spiritualism to my professional life. I realized that drastic, overnight changes were destructive and that milestones needed to be achieved before reaching the big goals. I learned to give the best of myself that I could to every job I was doing, to care for it and to find answers whenever I didn't have them. I just had in place a system that worked in one aspect of my life and that I could replicate in other aspects of my life. 

Life was good, life is good and I wake up excited every day excited, wondering what the next thing around the corner will be, what life will bring my way and how I will interpret it. I learned that I cannot change reality, so, I have to accept it. However, one thing I can change: the perspective or lens through which I see reality. That has helped me stay positive no matter how bad the outcome may be. If something's going to be bad, I try to find the silver lining in the bad thing. It works like a charm, so I invite you to try doing the same and see how the sad veil lifts up! :)

This article was written by Michelle Schacherer

Click HERE to Learn more about Michelle’s work.

WEBSITE: http://mschacherercrossfitter.blogspot.com

I AM THE MAGIC IN THE BIRDS SINGING

I am the magic in the birds singing

I am the colors in the rainbow

I color the sky with my radiance

and i fill the forest with my loam

I am the mountains meeting the sky

all day long

for in one drop of water

and in one grain of sand

in one cell of my body

the world 

is made whole again

as i breathe 

I take in life

and let it go

my hair, my skin, my breath

fall upon the earth

composting into soil

eaten by worms and bugs

eaten by animals and birds

who

living in trees

fertilize the tree

with their excrement

and the tree

growing fruit i eat

eating myself

again and again

becoming whole

and being

a part of it all

I am the beginning

I am the end

without an end

the deepest feeling anyone has

the deepest love

the deepest pain

the greatest longing

the peace beyond transcendence

bliss

anguish

terror

fear

they are all me

they are all mine

all Divine

all that I AM

There is no richness i cannot have

there is no pain i cannot feel

there are no lines

no divisions

no time

no separations

i come from a place

that remembers it all

and into which

all life flows

because

Love is all there is

and in the 

moment of true reflection

I fall down

and weep                             

in the arms

of myself 

This article was written by Morgine Jurdan

Click HERE to Learn more about Morgine’s work.

WEBSITE:  https://morginejurdan.com/

HEALING STARTS FROM THE INSIDE: MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

Sometimes in order to fix a bigger problem, we need to start by fixing ourselves. And that's where I had to start to release all the mental chains I had that prevented me from being myself. These included persons and ideas that kept me from reaching my highest potential.

The first thing I had to do was love myself. I know, you can ask anyone if they love themselves and they will say "yes", but, once they start digging deeper, they realize that they haven't really been loving themselves. In the same way that healing and personal growth require introspection and care, building a business aligned with your spiritual journey calls for choosing partners that resonate with your values. Looking into Zenbusiness reviews can offer insights into a supportive, efficient service to help manifest your vision into reality.

Someone who loves themselves would never allow anyone else to do something harmful to them. One important thing that helped me prevent this was when I started saying "no". It was not easy, but it has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. What I realized after I started saying "no", was that I was saying "yes" to something I liked and that made me feel fine.

Another thing I did was start a meditation practice that I religiously continue to this day. Every morning, you'll find me taking at least 5 minutes to do conscious breathing, to be grateful, or to forgive. The 2 things that have benefitted me the most have been gratitude and forgiveness. Through gratitude, I have been able to really appreciate the small things in life: a warm cup of coffee, a goat milk yogurt (I mean, how often do you find that while traveling?!), people who love and support me for who I am, the food on my table, having a roof over my head, my health... Ultimately, being thankful for the magic and perfection of life on earth as a whole. Through forgiveness, instead, I learned to forgive myself and everything I've done wrongly. To forgive my mind always judging me and always criticizing every move I make or the body I have. I learned to forgive my parents for the way they reacted to my weight issues while I was a kid since their frustration didn't allow them to see the damage they were doing to me; I forgave anyone who had hurt me out of their own pain, because it was not them doing something bad to me on purpose, it was their own ignorance and suffering that made them act like that. Forgiveness is a selfish act. We forgive to free ourselves from the emotional burden, not to make someone else happy. So, if you haven't tried it out yet, now's the time to start!

Meditation and spiritualism, besides reinforcing the body-mind connection, helped me connect better to the world. Thanks to that, I no longer see things as independent, I see them as part of an interdependent system. This just became more evident after my mom passed away. An event like this transforms you either for your best or worse. But, in my case, it helped me learn that everything in life is energy: yourself, what you see, what you can't see, and your thoughts. Matter doesn't disappear, it just transforms. And, that's why, even if I miss my mom every day, I know that she's everywhere: In the air I breathe, the smiling child running in the garden, the tree I touch, etc. 

Knowing how the type of energy I surround myself with and the one I vibrate on are important for my overall life, I decided to change my environment, and this included my relationships. It was not easy since I had to cut ties with many people and make drastic changes, but the results were astonishing...

This article was written by Michelle Schacherer 

Click HERE to Learn more about Michelle’s work. 

WEBSITE: http://mschacherercrossfitter.blogspot.com

LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW

When its early or late, I can’t see outside.

It’s dark and that means the outside just hides.

But the moment it’s light, great things come in view

My window shows me the things that are new.

 

When I look out my window I see cars drive by.
And with eyes looking up I see airplanes on high.

 

When I look out of my window I see wind in the trees.

The branches all dance as it moves through the leaves.

 

When I look out of my window, I see rain and some snow.

The cars and the trucks have to go really slow.

 

When I look out my window, I see people walking.

With arms always moving – they never stop talking.

When I look out my window, it’s my neighbors I see

And they always do smile and wave right back at me.

 

When I look out my window, I see kids on the bus.

Laughing and talking with so much to discuss.

 

When I look out my window I see men who are mowing

the yards and the grass that never stops growing. 

 

When I look out of my window, I see squirrels and some birds

They get a lot done without using our words.

 

When I look out my window I see big and small dogs

I see all sorts of birds and some snakes and some frogs.

 

When I look out my window, I see flowers so bright.

Red and dark blue, yellow, orange and some white.

 

When I look out my window, thick clouds and some thinner,

Go racing by, now who is the winner?

 

When I look out my window, I see runners jog

They run in the rain, in the wind and the fog.

 

When I stand at my window, something important I see,

Dad’s car comes in view, coming home to see me.

 

I spend time at my window, stand still and don’t race.

This is my special and very remarkable place.

To watch all that happens and to learn about me.

There is so much to watch, to notice and see.

So I stand at my window and take it all in.

I watch, look and listen, and take life for a spin.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work 

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

REDUCING EMOTIONAL EATING

          Having high emotional granularity is a vital tool for reducing emotional eating. The term was coined by Northeastern University Psychology Professor Lisa Feldman Barrett shortly after the turn of the century and refers to the ability to recognize, identify and express a full range of emotions. People with high emotional granularity have “finely tuned feelings.” They value emotions and are in touch with them most of the time. Moreover, they don’t lump all emotions together, but feel and can describe their nuances. Upset might be parsed as frightened, dismayed or exasperated. Angry might be viewed as frustrated, helpless or fearful.

Says Barrett, “Emotional granularity isn’t just about having a rich vocabulary; it’s about experiencing the world, and yourself, more precisely. This can make a difference in your life. In fact, there is growing scientific evidence that precisely tailored emotional experiences are good for you, even if those experiences are negative.” (“Are You in Despair? That’s Good,” The NY Times, 6/3/16, http://clbb.mgh.harvard.edu/are-you-in-despair-thats-good/#more-7340, accessed 1/29/19).  

“According to a collection of studies, finely grained, unpleasant feelings allow people to be more agile at regulating their emotions, less likely to drink excessively when stressed and less likely to retaliate aggressively against someone who has hurt them…Perhaps surprisingly, the benefits of high emotional granularity are not only psychological. People who achieve it are also likely to have longer, healthier lives. They go to the doctor and use medication less frequently, and spend fewer days hospitalized for illness. Cancer patients, for example, have lower levels of harmful inflammation when they more frequently categorize, label and understand their emotions.”

There’s evidence that emotional granularity improves mental health. Higher emotional granularity translates to better coping skills and, therefore, fewer maladaptive behaviors such as addictions. Relationships also improve when people are attuned to emotions.

How emotionally granular are you? Do you have difficulty identifying your feelings? Do you ignore them? Lump them together? Therapy can help because it provides a safe place to learn about and discuss emotions. By becoming more tuned in to them, you’ll up your emotional intelligence and do less mindless or binge eating.   

    

This article was written by Karen R. Koenig

Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.

WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/

http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/

WHEN IT’S JUST NOT YOUR DAY

 I knew it first thing, when I started the day

That things were not going to go in my way.

I tried to be happy and grateful, I say.

But I really knew, it was just not my day.

 

I tripped on the stairs and came down with a crash.

Into the sink went my phone, with a great splash.

The note for my teacher got thrown in the trash.

This day, I just knew, would not go by in a flash.

 

At school I forgot that my project was due.

At lunch they were serving a yucky beef stew.

In art class I spilled a container of glue.

Not a good day, this is something I knew.

 

My teacher seemed to just focus on me.

Telling and scolding is all I did see.

“Start over! Be quiet! Stand in line!” said she.

Today is not great, I bet you agree.

 

I missed the bus and walked home in the rain.

I stepped off the curb and gave my ankle a sprain.

I got soaked with the spray from a very fast train.

Today, you can see, is a very big pain.

 

Home and all wet, off to my room with a huff.

I needed a moment when feeling this gruff.

Things that had happened were so truly tough.

Today, on this day, I had just had enough.

 

Off to the kitchen with my head in my hands

Upset at a day that I did not understand.

How things can go so against all my plans.

Today, was the worst day in all of the land.

 

Mom asked, “What’s up, what’s making you sad?”

“Nothing,” I said, trying not to get mad.

“Tell me,” she said, “About the day that you had.”

Can we make it much better, or a little less bad?”

 

I shrugged then recounted without a delay
How everything seemed to just not go my way.

Not sure what could help or what thing she could say

That would improve this most terrible and horrible day.

 

She smiled and said, “Some days make you scream

They feel like an awful and really bad dream.

There one thing that makes it a bit less extreme

A bowl, no, a big bowl of your favorite ice cream.”

 

Two scoops and my mood changed, right on the spot.

We talked about things and what the day brought.

Some things just work out and some things just do not.

Life send what it sends, you get what you got.

Don’t argue and stress and get all distraught. 

Be patient and learn from all you’ve been taught.  

 

 This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

THE DEEP WELCOME OF FRIENDSHIP

Across the miles they drove, journeying four hours north on washboard roads until they reached this country hill.

“We want to talk about the conference,” they had said on the phone. “We can fill you in on the details in person. The more you know about us, the easier it will be for you to prepare.”

I heard their words, but I was deaf to their hearts, because as the date of their visit approached, the puddle of panic around me grew deeper and murkier. The faithless ponderings multiplied:

They’ll be sorry they traveled all this way to meet someone so ordinary. What if they want to quiz me on my theology? I’m sure they’ll take one look at my tiny kitchen and my beat up wood floors and decide that I’m a mess, too.

This, for me, has been the challenge of the Christian life: to boldly welcome others into the mess that is me, and then to trust – to trust that God will build a bridge between our hearts, and to trust that others will respond with acceptance and love.

As it happens, my new friends arrived a few minutes late – GPS’s aren’t much help out here! More important, though, when they showed up in my driveway, they did not arrive bearing an impossible yardstick or hearts of judgment. They were not expecting me to look or sound like a conference speaker or to live in a museum of Pinterest perfection.

We exchanged warm hugs and settled down to business. They shared their stories and described their community, drawing me into their fellowship of women:

the diligent seekers after Truth;
the heartsick lovers of prodigal children;
the faithful caregivers who bridge and mend the generations;
the patient prayer warriors who battle daily on behalf of unsaved husbands.

We broke zucchini bread together and my worries about my mum-jeans and sub-standard housekeeping practices were forgotten as we engaged in sincere prayer for the planning of the conference and for the women who would be challenged by the Truth.

I was the girl with the teakettle on the stove and my Canadian grandmother’s delicate cups and saucers all arranged to receive guests, but these women who had traveled across two state lines on an early Monday morning were the true extenders of hospitality.

They transcended geography, opened their hearts, and welcomed me into their lives in the spirit that Paul describes in Romans 15:7:

Therefore, receive one another just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God.

Stretching out both hands to receive the world, Jesus’ act of cross-shaped love still flattens the barriers that appear so insurmountable to this fearful and self-protective introvert. God is mightily glorified when, by grace, we reach across the artificial boundaries of politics, race, or denomination in order to truly “receive one another” in unity and acceptance.

Wanting to send my new friends on their way with sweetness, I pulled tiny jars of apple butter from my basement shelves. But the greater gift that day was offered to me — the priceless welcome and deep hospitality of friendship.

This article was written by Michele Morin

Click HERE to Learn more about Michele’s work.

 WEBSITE: https://michelemorin.wordpress.com

RECOVERING FROM EATING DISORDER

Putting Emotions To Work To Overcome Your Eating Disorder

 

            Whether you’re just beginning to address your under- or overeating problems or have been making steady progress over years or decades, there’s one area that you will have to come to terms with sooner or later to achieve full recovery.  To achieve a satisfying, nourishing, happy, and successful life without food problems, you will have to learn how put your emotions to work for you.  This means not dancing around them by eating or calorie counting, obsessing about what you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t eat, or focusing on whether the numbers on the scale are moving up or down.     

            For many disordered eaters, identifying and sitting with feelings is the last hurdle to becoming a “normal” eater.  Most are willing and often eager to practice new food- and weight-related behaviors, such as making satisfying food choices, eating mindfully, taking larger or smaller bites, throwing out the scale, eating without distractions, taking deep breaths after each mouthful, and staying connected to the body’s pleasure center during the eating process.  But most people with eating problems—actually, most people, period—have difficulty getting comfortable with feelings.  It’s important for you to recognize that disordered eaters are far from the only ones who have difficulty handling emotions.  To greater or lesser extent, everyone does.

            Unfortunately, every time you use food (move toward or away from it) instead of feeling an authentic emotion, you miss an opportunity to discover something about what’s happening in your internal world.  Think of your emotions as equivalent to your senses.  The latter alert us to our reaction to our environment—thumbs up or thumbs down—through touch, smell, sight, hearing, and taste.  Our feelings have a similar function as they provide us with information about our reaction to people and situations.  The function of both our senses and our emotions is to move us toward pleasure and away from pain.  Emotions help us decide what is self-threatening—smelling smoke and seeing flames across the room—and what is self-enhancing—sensory delight derived from gazing out over the ocean as gulls soar overhead and the sun dips into the sea.

— True self-care is about holistic health. Jill Kay recently introduced me to Arbonne, the #1 global brand for healthy living inside and out. I tried the products and loved them! Check out their certified vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free, nontoxic products by clicking HERE. You will be very surprised! —

            If you’re like most people, you don’t realize the value and purpose of emotions and assume they’re not important, or worse, that uncomfortable feelings should be avoided at all cost.  But, I bet you’d never think of shutting off your senses and wandering through the world without them.  Well, that’s exactly what you do every time you ignore or minimize a feeling. 

What if emotions aren’t the demons you’ve made them out to be?  What if emotions are your teachers and your care-takers?  What if they’re not trash but treasures?

            One of the reasons that emotions get a bad rap is that they can feel truly awful.  We may believe that if something doesn’t feel good, it can’t be good, but this is far from the truth.  There are lots of painful cures to what ails us that we tolerate because we know they are necessary and promote ultimate health and well-being—injections, dental fillings and implants, physical therapy, and surgery, to name a few.  No one says, gee, terrific, I’m going to have my body sliced open today and then I’ll be in pain for weeks on end recovering.  However, inspite of the fact that it’s often a nasty business, people schedule surgery because they know they’ll feel better in the long run.

            The same is true of emotions.  Just because they hurt or make you feel badly does not mean they are bad.  Like musical notes and colors (and foods too!), there are no good or bad emotions.  They’re what’s called value neutral.  Think of them as messengers, giving you vital information about what’s happening within your internal landscape—you’re disappointed, ashamed, overwhelmed, overjoyed, furious, grief-stricken, content, shocked, revolted, elated, confused, lonely, excited, helpless.  True, some of these feelings are excruciating and hard to bear, but they do pass and people survive them every day and have since the beginning of human existence.  Half the battle is allowing yourself to be with your feelings without making judgments about them or the kind of person you are for having them.  It’s a great deal easier to acknowledge, identify, experience, explore, and deal with feelings without all the associated criticisms you have of them or of yourself.

            Recovering from an eating disorder means blossoming into a full, emotionally mature person.  For that to happen, you must (yes, must) learn to experience all of your feelings; you can’t pick and choose.  Becoming emotionally healthy is an all or nothing proposition, but one you can learn over time.  If you believe you can’t bear your feelings alone, find a therapist who can guide you through them.  Share your feelings with friends, start a journal, hug yourself, cry, holler til you’re hoarse, beat your pillow, sob til you’re exhausted. 

At some point in recovery, you have to choose between food and feeling.  You already know where your food obsession will lead you, so why not give feelings a try?    

This article was written by Karen R. Koenig

Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.

WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/

http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/

UNDER ONE GREAT BIG SKY

No matter your work – if you build, write or fly.

No matter your race – if you’re a girl or a guy.

No matter if you’re bold, or tall or just shy

We show up each day, under the same great big sky.

 

Some try to say, that they know what’s right.

They push and control – they do things with might.

Some say, “Be like us or we can’t let you in.”

“And we don’t really like the the color of your skin.”

 

Some feel they were born better, more important or greater.

Some think it’s okay to be a big hater

Of people who are different, and those not so spry,

But we all live right here, under the same great big sky.

 

Some think they are better by the things that they own

Where they shop, what they buy, or how well they are known.

They compare and complain about all of the others.

They forget that down deep we are all truly brothers.

 

Not one of us is more special, not one wins the prize.

Not one has more value, or a right to despise.

Not one has more worth – let me just simplify,

We each show up now, under the same great big sky.

 

We are all different – the face, skin and the nose;

The successes and failures, the highs and the lows.
Down deep is your spark, a gift so divine.

Know it and live it; it’s yours and its mine.

 

You are amazing, great, awesome and blest.

You have strengths and big gifts, just like all of the rest.

If we’re all so amazing, I have to ask why

We can’t get along, under this one great big sky?

Right here and right now, we’re all sharing space.

No matter the skills, or gender or race.

It belongs to us all, not some, not a few.

We all really matter. Me, him, her and you.

 

When you look at another don’t find fault and take part

In judging, critiquing. Focus more on their heart.

See they are trying to live and get by

Hoping and dreaming, under our one great big sky.

 

Make room in your space for those who don’t share

Your approach to this life and about what you care.

Imagine if you will – you can if you choose –

A world where all matter, not one where some lose.

 

What has to change in you and in me

To live in a world where we all get to be

Just who we are, with no need to be shy

Living together, under our one great big sky?

 

If you see someone living with treatment unjust,

One who is struggling – pay attention – we must.

Tune in to notice what’s really there.

Reach out, go help, and be ready to care.

 

We each get to be here, to work hard and try

No matter our race, whether a girl or a guy.

No matter our work, if we build, write or fly;

To be our best selves, under our one great big sky.

 

So, look just above at this space big and wide.

It’s there for us ALL; it’s there to provide.

We each get this space, this time and this life.

Respect it and share it, don’t bring on the strife.

Show up on purpose! Be here! Don’t be shy!

Let’s all make some room, under our one great big sky.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

RETHINKING TRAUMA TREATMENT

“The aim of trauma treatment is to update memories that have been encoded to produce fear, shame and other painful emotions in response to an event with new interpretations or meanings so that the memories become non-threatening.”

Not only does Courtney Armstrong have a deep understanding of the nature of trauma and treating its debilitating effects, she has the ability to explain complex theory in language that readers can understand. This winning combo makes much of the information in Rethinking Trauma Treatment, a book written for clinicians, worthwhile for trauma survivors as well as for the people in their lives who are trying to support and care for them.

The book is divided into three sections: developing the therapeutic alliance, transforming traumatic memories, and post-traumatic growth. Armstrong’s liberal use of case histories and client anecdotes illustrates what happens intrapsychically and interpersonally to people who have experienced trauma and are trying to move beyond its lingering, painful memories. Describing how therapists need to create safe havens in their sessions with trauma survivors, she underscores how attachment disorders leave them anxious, insecure, reactive and mistrustful of others, all of which make developing rapport and sustaining connection a challenge.

She goes on to present exercises that ground and soothe clients and are necessary not only for them to tolerate the therapist’s exploration of their traumatic memories, but for them to become less reactive in their lives. The range of Armstrong’s interventions is impressive, and her clinical examples show the reader what approaches work and how attunement is key to providing exactly what each client needs for healing. This process, similar to observing master therapists interview clients, will teach novice clinicians a great deal about how to approach and relate to all, not just traumatized, clients by paying attention to Armstrong’s nuanced and enlightened therapeutic responses.

Section two explains what happens to the brain and body when someone experiences trauma. Armstrong defines trauma as “a disorder of memory,” a definition which is key to understanding how she works with it. Early on in the book, she describes how the brain reacts to “emotionally stressful encounters” through the amygdala encoding “all the sensory information associated with the event into what is called an implicit memory . . .  a network of neurons that contains the felt, experiential part of memory.” She stresses that implicit memory is far different from explicit or didactic memory which records the factual details of events.

The aim of trauma treatment is to update memories that have been encoded to produce fear, shame and other painful emotions in response to an event with new interpretations or meanings so that the memories become non-threatening. Armstrong uses the example of a “virus or software program with a bug that gets downloaded to a computer.” Just as the computer needs to be recoded when there are errors, so do our brains. Once memory updates are completed through a five-step protocol contained in Armstrong’s acronym RECON, the painful emotions experienced in an event lose their toxicity.

Section two also addresses specific types of trauma: sexual and combat, abuse from childhood, and traumatic grief and loss. Again, Armstrong uses an abundance of examples to illustrate the theory behind memory reconsolidation, so that what she is doing therapeutically, which may feel like magic to the transformed client, is grounded in intentional interventions that are tailored to resolving each type of trauma.

The final section of the book is devoted to clients’ improved mental health and to what therapists must do to hold onto their own. Most readers will be familiar with the term PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but many may not know what Post-Traumatic Growth is: the healthy, positive changes that occur in trauma survivors’ lives down the road. This transformation has been studied and validated by scientific research—many people who had horrific experiences that they thought would scar them for life, instead, have gone on to achieve five specific positive changes: “greater sense of personal strength, openness to new possibilities, greater appreciation for life, spiritual development, and enhanced relationships.”

Additionally, Armstrong cautions therapists who work frequently and intensively with trauma survivors to watch out for common hazards that might arise and impact their own mental health. She describes therapists’ risk for compassion fatigue or numbing out, loss of empathy for trauma clients, and emotional burnout from the stress of their work. Citing examples of each, she encourages therapists to take care of themselves by finding emotional balance in their lives.

Therapists who are new to the complexities of trauma resolution will be grateful for Armstrong’s inclusion of learning tools such as diagrams, client worksheets, and verbatim therapist-client dialogues. Clinicians who already use the book’s cutting-edge memory reconsolidation approach will deepen their knowledge of its principles and find myriad practices and applications to make certain that trauma survivors are well served.  

This article was written by Karen R. Koenig

Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.

WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/

http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/

YOU AND I ARE NOT THE SAME – OR ARE WE?

 You and I are just not the same;

You are so wild and I am all tame.

You are so tall and I show up short.

You like the game shows, I just like sports.

 

You like all meats and I eat just greens.

You read great books and I like to dream.

Your hair is wavy, straight is what’s mine;

Your best number is 6 and for me it’s a nine.

 

You like to run and you love to race,

I like to walk at a much slower pace.

Your music is Bach and mine is the Boss,

Your pasta has butter, I like mine with a sauce.

 

You eyes are deep blue; mine are all brown.

You like the city, I love the small town.

You are so strong, from time at the gym.

I take long walks, that’s how I stay trim.

 

You love the summer, the heat and the breeze.

I love the fall with the bright-colored leaves.

You love to eat and I love to cook.

You would never, ever, be found with a book.

 

You speak a language that rolls all your r’s

I could spend days just dreaming of cars.

Your skin is dark, mine is much lighter;

You are a lover and I am a fighter.

You go to college and I work at night.

You like movies that bring on some fright.

You like to earn money, I like to invent.

Hotels are for you, but for me it’s a tent.

Fancy is your choice, mine is just plain.

You like the sun, but give me the rain.

 

I see all these things that make you not me.

So different we are, there just can not be

One thing that unites us, one thing for us all –

One thing that never makes us feel small.

 

But wait! I see it. It is really bright.

That one thing, that something, that makes us unite.

The more that I watch, pay attention and see,

You are actually more, not less, just like me.

 

We’ve been taught to see differences, to make us all hate,

To see what is wrong, and not see what is great.

But inside our outsides, we’re really alike.

We want the same things; we want a great life.

 

The one thing that we, really do share –

A need to be loved and a need for great care.

To feel valued and important, to live and let be,

To move through this life and live really free.

 

See, life makes us different so we each have our place.

Differences help us find our own space.

Differences should never make us act greater

Than anyone else – don’t be a big hater.

 

Look past the differences that let us be us.

Look past the things that create all the fuss.

Look past the height and look past the weight.

Look past the skin, the hair and those traits.

 

Look past where they’re from, what language they speak

Look past their habits and if they’re a geek.

Look past their jobs, their careers and their work.

Look past their hobbies, their interests and quirks.

Look past their religion and what they believe.

Look past their competitive need to achieve.

 

Look instead, in each other, to see what is great.

The kind heart, the love - see these kinds of traits.

Look for their passion, their joy and delight;

Look for their spirit, their inner great light.

See that down deep they are really like you.

Trying to be honest and loving and true.

 

See me as different, then see me the same;

Get past my outside and see my true flame.

I’m different about things that create all the chatter.

But I am just like you for the things that do matter.

I’m human like you and one wish to define,

A life that is happy and loving for all time.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work. 

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

LIFE GOES BY IN A FLASH OF LIGHT

As 2017 begins we all hear the usual talk of New Year’s Resolutions, the desire to make improvements in one’s life, all of which is perfectly fine of course. If you are genuinely unhappy with a certain aspect (or aspects) of your life, then by all means it’s appropriate to take steps to make changes that would lead to more satisfying results. With that said, there is a hazard to being so focused on achieving something down the road that we fail to live our lives as fully we can within the context of the only time that really matters – NOW. And, the more we remain centered on getting someplace the greater the likelihood that we fail to truly appreciate all the good things we already have in our lives.

 

Yes, we’ve all heard it, “be grateful,” but how many of us actually take the time to acknowledge all of our blessings on a daily basis? The answer is probably not very many. What makes it even more challenging is a media (news & advertising both) that constantly focuses on “what’s missing” in life, selling the future all the time to keep the wheels of economic growth rolling forward. From my own life experience I can attest to spending way too much time thinking that getting someplace else was the key to happiness as opposed to finding the happiness within any given moment.

 

Alas, I literally spent decades in that mindset and missed out on so much of life. Now at the ripe old age of 60 I can relate even more directly to what Pink Floyd meant when they wrote this line in their hit song “Time”:

 

“And then one day you’ll find 10 years have got behind you.”

 

Yes, indeed, if one lives life always looking forward I can speak from personal experience that an entire decade (or more) can just fly by without you even being aware of it, and in the process much of day to day life winds up being squandered.

 

For anyone reading this post who may be in their 20s, 30s and even 40s, it’s possible that you might consider that the age of 60 is “old,” and it’s likely that you may not even be able to relate to being such a lofty age. I certainly felt that way when living in those age groups, but I can assure you of this, if you are fortunate enough to make it to that age you will realize firsthand that while your body has aged the same basic essence that was “you” at 20, 30, and 40 remains the same. Sure, you would have evolved as a person and hopefully changed for the better, but all those versions of you still exist within the context of your mind. And you will likely find yourself wondering someday, “Where in the heck did all that time go?”

 

For this reason, it’s so important each day to have a healthy respect for life itself and not sleepwalk through it, looking forward to some future event or circumstances to finally bring the happiness that always seems to be just around the corner. Life is NOW, period. So live it fully, graciously accept the good and the bad each day and make your best effort to remind yourself to remain conscious moment-to-moment of what you are doing and thinking throughout the day. In everything you do give all of your focus to what is happening in that moment, like savoring every sip of your favorite beverage and every bite of the foods you love. Do your very best not to get distracted by things that “in the great design of life are so pitifully small” as the musical artist Todd Rundgren once wrote.

 

In closing, consider this thought-provoking passage from the late Fr. Anthony DeMello’s book Awareness:

 

“Visit a graveyard. It’s an enormously purifying and beautiful experience. You look at this name and you say, “Gee, he lived so many years ago, two centuries ago; he must have had all the problems that I have, must have had lots of sleepless nights.” How crazy, we live for such a short time. An Italian poet said, “We live in a flash of light; evening comes, and it’s night forever.” It’s only a flash and we waste it. We waste it with our anxiety, our worries, our concerns, our burdens.”

This article was written by Jeff Maziarek

Click HERE to Learn more about Jeff’s work.

WEBSITE: http://blog.spiritsimple.com/

FRIENDSHIP: SHARING AND REPAIRING OUR LIVES

My best friend just happens to be my sister.

On the other hand, maybe it's because she's my sister that she's my best friend. We often take liberties with family that we might not take with friends, which can be good or bad, depending on how we relate and how self-aware we are. This got me thinking about what, exactly, those differences might be and whether I might benefit from embodying more of them with my other friends.

First, though, I had to ask myself what criteria would define a good, healthy friendship, and I discovered some interesting things. Just as friendship is about nurturing and supporting growth, starting a business requires similar care in choosing the right partners for its formation. For those embarking on this journey, exploring top LLC companies can ensure you're entrusting your dream to capable hands, cementing the foundation of your venture with trust and expertise.

For me, a close friendship—like any close relationship—involves emotional honesty, trust, mutual support, active listening, giving and receiving, respect, acceptance, kindred values, a heartfelt connection, and a sense of humor. It also requires healthy boundaries and self-responsibility, so that we know the difference between 'sharing' and 'dumping', and so that we take ownership of our actions and reactions, rather than complaining or constantly reiterating some old, worn-out story that we don't attempt to change. And perhaps the most valuable quality of all is knowing that we can trust our friends to tell us the truth about ourselves, even if it hurts or we won't necessarily like it. 

So far, so good. But what happens if you don't have a super-sister-friend and you don't feel you have the right to expect or express those qualities? While solid friendships are a positive, nourishing part of life at any time, it's when we're in crisis that we truly need our friends—and that our friends get to experience the more vulnerable, authentic, daring parts of us. This is where we get to discover who our friends really are, and what we ourselves are made of. This is where the real 'juice' is—the stuff of life that pushes us beyond the superficial layers of self, with all its pain, sadness and soul-searching.

What stops us from going deeper?

We often refrain from sharing our biggest wounds or problems with our friends, for several reasons:

 1) We may think we're protecting them by not burdening them with our problems when, in reality, we're withholding a part of ourselves that we're afraid to share because we feel ashamed or insecure.

2) We may not realize that sharing our deepest wounds is what creates the deepest intimacy and connection, while also touching others or opening their hearts in some profound way.

3) We may think our problems are not important enough or that we're not worthy of being heard.  

4) We may feel uncomfortable asking for support if we've been taught that other people's needs are more important than our own.

Yet sharing those deeper parts of ourselves enables us to heal, while opening us up to positive input, comfort and support. Sharing our feelings helps us to process them and, often, it's only in articulating what we feel that we gain an understanding of what we want or of what's really going on. The parts that we tend to hold back are usually those parts that hold the greatest emotional 'charge'—and thus the greatest potential for a breakthrough. Sharing our shame, hurt, guilt or despair lessens its power over us and demonstrates our innate worthiness and lovability. Sharing it means we give ourselves permission to be authentic and vulnerable, while acknowledging that our 'stuff' has nothing to do with who we truly are—and everything to do with who we can become, once we let it go.

It's only by sharing all the tough stuff—the crises, break-ups, depression, funks, bad news and bad hair days—that we create depth and meaning in our relationships. Sharing is our invitation to others to be a part of what matters to us. And it's the friends with whom we share the tough stuff that we will rush to tell about the good stuff, as soon as it happens. Because they, more than anyone else, will understand how good that good stuff feels, knowing all the challenges we've been through. And we will have the joy of sharing our more powerful side with them, knowing that they've also seen us at our worst.

Are you living in 'me-ville'?

If there's one thing I've learned, in my years of being a coach and sharing in the challenges of my many courageous clients, it's that friendships—and relationships—are really all that matter. This is what makes life worthwhile and inspires us to be all that we can be. Sharing all of who we are is how we get to discover what we're capable of and how empowering that can also be for others. Withholding ourselves, on the other hand, can create an unhealthy inward focus that keeps us imprisoned in our own minds. It can block the insights that hold the key to our emotional freedom; it can magnify our problems; it can promote catastrophic thinking; and it can create the perception that nobody understands us, that we are all alone, and that it's all about me, me, me.

Daring to share our deepest, most powerful selves builds the kind of friendship that sets us free—the kind of friendship that will deliver us from me-ville.

This article was written by Olga Sheean

Click HERE to Learn more about Olga’s work.

WEBSITE: https://olgasheean.com

CARING FOR OURSELVES AND CARING FOR OTHERS

Self-Care and The Rare Gift Of Spiritual Friendship

“Hey, we have a lot in common! Maybe we should meet for coffee?”

Coming from Facebook, a place where “friendship” usually remains distant and virtual, this was startling content. Add to that a full schedule and a hard bent toward introversion, and there was every reason for me to log off, click on “unfriend,” and run like crazy. The risk of a face-to-face meeting with a total stranger is way outside my comfort zone, and yet the outcome, in this case, was a real-life friendship and a lesson in self-care.

Even with open laptops and a list of technical topics for discussion, when I meet with this particular friend, the percent of time devoted to “business” may be pretty low. Conversations meander as coffee cups are emptied and refilled.  I almost always come away from face-to-face time with friends enriched and encouraged in a way that transcends even the satisfaction that would have come from spending that time hammering away at my to-do list. We gauge the temperature of each other’s hearts, and somehow our faith is shaped in the context of spiritual friendship.

In Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, Janice Peterson has defined spiritual friendship as learning to see the worth God has placed in each person and appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer. It’s being willing to share when you need to share and learn when you need to learn. It’s caring for the well-being of the other person, and letting [the other person] care for you as well. (page xviii)

Spiritual friendship is the gift we give to others that circles around and gives back with a greater return. It’s a form of self-care that recognizes that, at our core, we were made for relationship and deep connection by a God who is also relational. In a culture in which loneliness is the norm and competition is the default, genuine friendship is a rare gift.

— True self-care is about holistic health. Jill Kay recently introduced me to Arbonne, the #1 global brand for healthy living inside and out. I tried the products and loved them! Check out their certified vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free, nontoxic products by clicking HERE. You will be very surprised! —

 

Partners In Prayer

Three of us sat around the table, and the salad and soup were mere side dishes to the conversation that was going on. We chewed and chuckled, sharing our stories, but the culmination of that gathering was the time we spent in prayer, standing between sink and microwave, lifting one another God-ward with words that had been informed by time in deep conversation.

I can pray intelligently for the people I have met over a cup of tea. One of my friends accomplishes this through a “porch ministry,” an offering of hospitality in real time. The stories that are shared on the porch become grist for prayer and the foundation for meaningful connection. Here on the coast of Maine, porch conversations may require a jacket even in mid-July, but the good work of friendship always requires that we “clothe [ourselves] with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14).

Clothed in love, true spiritual friendship requires sacrifice. There are times when it would be easier to pull the shades, ignore the phone, and hang a “closed” sign on our hearts, but the love that binds us together sees needs and learns the ways of love. By this same binding love, a true friend and prayer partner will understand the wise boundaries and the sacred pauses that are necessary in a supportive and open-handed relationship.

Another Pair Of Eyes

In the throes of a comprehensive kitchen renovation, I was becoming overwhelmed with colors, textures, and materials, all requiring a decision, but all beginning to look alike to my weary brain. Gathering up the pile of samples—flooring, cupboards, counter tops–I took them to a trusted friend and asked the fearful question:  “Do these look horrible together?”

At this point, I wasn’t looking for someone who would make me feel good about my decisions. I needed another set of eyes on my choices, and, if necessary, the faithful wounds of a friend who valued my good more than she valued my opinion of her. A true friend is committed to telling the truth, and spiritual friends are committed to each other’s growth. They will call out one another’s ugly-kitchen-choices AND their ugly-life-choices—even if this means addressing the inward sins that may not be visible to others:  self-obsession, bitterness, and pride. We are fellow students in God’s classroom, and we are there, together, under His training.

Companionship In Trouble

A web of friendships can make God tangible and put flesh on the unseen. When God is silent and life is loud, the borrowed faith of a trusted friend brings perspective into the room. Why else would the psalmists have written so often with plural pronouns about testing and trouble? For example:

For you, O God, have tested us;
you have tried us as silver is tried.
You brought us into the net;
you laid burdens on our backs;
you let people ride over our heads;
we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a spacious place. (Psalm 66:10-12)

Together, spiritual friends endure the refining process, and, together, they come into “rich fulfillment,” either through celebration or lament. Community is absolutely necessary among those who believingly follow Jesus Christ, for when life is gritty, we need support, and when it is glorious, we need those who will celebrate with us.

Curating The Environment

Is spiritual friendship part of your self-care strategy?

Looking around at the people closest to you, can you identify someone with whom you could go deep in caring and encouraging?

If not, do you wish you had a community like that?

Begin today and start with YOU.

In your Bible study, when you’re out for coffee, when friends or family are gathered around your table, begin by being honest. Some will respond in horror. However, there will be those who will stop with their mug half way to their lips, turn their eyes in your direction, and murmur, “Me, too.”  Curating the environment for honesty, prayer support, and meaningful conversation begins with one person who recognizes the value of friendship to a flourishing life and is willing to take the risk of going first.

Caring for ourselves and caring for others in the context of relationship involves serving and being served. Spiritual friendship accepts the gift of another’s perspective and allows it to deepen our own, for in this process of seeking meaningful connection, we reflect the image of God. Bridging the separation between heaven and earth, He made the first move, spread His arms wide, and invited us into relationship with words of commitment, acceptance, and love: “I have called you friends” (John 15:15).

Writing/Reflection Prompt: How is spiritual friendship part of your self-care?

This article was written by Michele Morin

Click HERE to Learn more about Michele’s work.

WEBSITE: https://michelemorin.wordpress.com

DOG WISDOM

Every morning is great, never a dark thunder cloud. Every morning starts new, with wagging so proud.
Not stuck in the past, not worried about money.
Not complaining about a day that’s just not that sunny. Not holding a grudge, or upset with their friends;

Not worried about fashion, Facebook or the Benz. Not wondering if today, things will all go their way. But present in each moment of each blessed day.

Dogs don’t need much – they all just want love, Add some good food, and a family to be part of. Not much more – no high expectations;
No fancy car or elaborate vacations.

They want some attention and moments to share Their spirit, their wisdom, and how much they care.

Then, there are we humans with lives oh so rough. All worried and nervous about having enough stuff. We get challenged by looks, comments and frowns; We get upset, sad and all versions of downs.

Little things upset us and lead us astray,
We get all upset when things don’t go our way.

We have our couldas and wouldas and things that we ought From voices of others, from things we’ve been taught.
They keep us all twisted and scared without reason.
They keep us alarmed, concerned, in each season.

The world takes us down with our focus on lack, On limits and problems and meaningless yack.

We don’t see what dogs see – a new view each day, To have fun, to live life, to be happy and play.
All around us is wisdom, of how to live right,
To live with a focus of play and delight.

Tune in to those eyes that have no conditions, And the tails that wag without any suspicions. Tune in to the greeting, delivered on demand. Tune in to the love, given so freely, so grand.

There is much to learn from the Pug or the Lab,
The Schnauzer or Shih Tzu, with coats oh so fab.
The Shepherd and Sheepdog, the Maltese and Beagle, The St Bernard, the Boxer and Great Dane so regal. They have just one wish – to have a great life.
They have no agenda, no interest in strife.

There are just some days that I am really seeing That dogs are way smarter than we human beings.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

FAITHFUL FRIENDSHIP

How to Do the Hard and Holy Work of Faithful Friendship

“So who’s mentoring whom here?” my friend asked with a mischievous grin.

Good question!

When friends challenge one another with shared books, Scripture reading, and transparent prayer, everyone is sharpened and restored in a way that uniquely shows the love of God. Janice Peterson calls this “spiritual friendship,” and has reached back into her long memory for the purpose of sharing her friend Gertrude, the woman who poured lemonade and listened to Jan’s teen-age thoughts and dreams.

Being seen and valued by a friend who was “always present, always caring,” set Peterson on a course to be that person for others, to live given, and to love well. In Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, Jan remembers lemonade on the porch and shares her deep conviction that friendships can be life-altering in all the best ways.

 

A spiritual friendship differs from mentoring in that no one takes the lead. There’s no resident expert or hierarchy at work. Instead, spiritual friendship is characterized by an unstructured giving and receiving, “appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer. It’s being willing to share when you need to share and learn when you need to learn. It’s caring for the well-being of the other person, and letting her care for you as well.” (xviii)

Ministering alongside her husband, author and pastor Eugene Peterson, Janice seized the life-enriching opportunities that her role as a pastor’s wife provided for investing in relationships. With rich insights lifted from Romans 12, she has distilled for her readers five elements that have infused her most formative relationships:

Caring

“Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” (Romans 12:1 MSG)

We become caring people with practice, strengthening our awareness of others like a muscle. The author witnessed this outward focus modeled in her long-ago friend Gertrude and has concluded that regardless of gifting and personality, anyone can choose to put others first and pay attention to the needs of others.

As she matured, Peterson found her own caring heart drawn to the larger world. She began to serve on the Fair Housing Committee in her area and to practice cooking and eating habits that demonstrated her concern for the challenge of world hunger.

To become more caring:

·       Pay attention to those who are doing it well and copy them.

·       Push down your pride and receive unselfish caring from others.

·       Take note of the needs of the people God has placed right in front of your eyes.

Acceptance

“Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.” (Romans 12:2 MSG)

Peterson warns, “A spiritual friend is someone you enjoy being with, but you may not always find the friendship simple or straightforward.” (30) As a “classic extrovert,” Janice finds it easy to take others at face value, but connecting with those who are more challenging to love can take the special effort of seeking to see the world from their perspective. Ironically, the first step in accepting others may be the task of self-acceptance.

To become more accepting of others:

·       Connect with them by participating in the things that interest them.

·       Spend time connecting with God to learn His heart of acceptance for you and for others.

Service

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.” (Romans 12:11, 12 MSG)

Living her way into God’s calling upon her life, Janice Peterson swam upstream in the 1960’s when other women were leaving their homes in droves to seek employment. Called to be a pastor’s wife and a mother, she has served and loved in her own unique way, motivating others to do likewise by her example.

To serve well:

·       Be ready to spring into action, loving your community in concrete ways.

·       Serve courageously when God points out a need that you are able to meet.

Hospitality

“Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. . . Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:13, 16 MSG)

Hospitality puts into practice the caring, serving, and accepting that friendship requires. Taking time to rightly align her readers’ understanding of the term, Peterson defines hospitality through a biblical lens: “the welcoming reception and treatment of guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” (67) The welcome of hospitality is a bridge to wholeness as we generously receive others and let them know us, warts and all.

To become more hospitable:

·       Forget about “entertaining” guests and just enjoy them, feed them, and listen to them.

·       Start with your family and move in ever widening circles.

Encouragement

“Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:14-16 MSG)

The church provides the perfect backdrop for mutual encouragement as believers motivate one another to acts of service, use of God-given gifts, and a continual focus on God and His faithfulness. Reorienting one another gently toward an others-orientation, we discover the truest and most healthy version of ourselves, and then offer that up as a gift to God. In the process, we also become a gift to others, a spiritual friend, putting on display the caring, accepting, serving, hospitable, encouraging heart of our relational God.

Many thanks to NavPress for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which, of course, is offered freely and with honesty.

This article was written by Michele Morin

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WEBSITE: https://michelemorin.wordpress.com