YOU AND I ARE NOT THE SAME – OR ARE WE?

 You and I are just not the same;

You are so wild and I am all tame.

You are so tall and I show up short.

You like the game shows, I just like sports.

 

You like all meats and I eat just greens.

You read great books and I like to dream.

Your hair is wavy, straight is what’s mine;

Your best number is 6 and for me it’s a nine.

 

You like to run and you love to race,

I like to walk at a much slower pace.

Your music is Bach and mine is the Boss,

Your pasta has butter, I like mine with a sauce.

 

You eyes are deep blue; mine are all brown.

You like the city, I love the small town.

You are so strong, from time at the gym.

I take long walks, that’s how I stay trim.

 

You love the summer, the heat and the breeze.

I love the fall with the bright-colored leaves.

You love to eat and I love to cook.

You would never, ever, be found with a book.

 

You speak a language that rolls all your r’s

I could spend days just dreaming of cars.

Your skin is dark, mine is much lighter;

You are a lover and I am a fighter.

You go to college and I work at night.

You like movies that bring on some fright.

You like to earn money, I like to invent.

Hotels are for you, but for me it’s a tent.

Fancy is your choice, mine is just plain.

You like the sun, but give me the rain.

 

I see all these things that make you not me.

So different we are, there just can not be

One thing that unites us, one thing for us all –

One thing that never makes us feel small.

 

But wait! I see it. It is really bright.

That one thing, that something, that makes us unite.

The more that I watch, pay attention and see,

You are actually more, not less, just like me.

 

We’ve been taught to see differences, to make us all hate,

To see what is wrong, and not see what is great.

But inside our outsides, we’re really alike.

We want the same things; we want a great life.

 

The one thing that we, really do share –

A need to be loved and a need for great care.

To feel valued and important, to live and let be,

To move through this life and live really free.

 

See, life makes us different so we each have our place.

Differences help us find our own space.

Differences should never make us act greater

Than anyone else – don’t be a big hater.

 

Look past the differences that let us be us.

Look past the things that create all the fuss.

Look past the height and look past the weight.

Look past the skin, the hair and those traits.

 

Look past where they’re from, what language they speak

Look past their habits and if they’re a geek.

Look past their jobs, their careers and their work.

Look past their hobbies, their interests and quirks.

Look past their religion and what they believe.

Look past their competitive need to achieve.

 

Look instead, in each other, to see what is great.

The kind heart, the love - see these kinds of traits.

Look for their passion, their joy and delight;

Look for their spirit, their inner great light.

See that down deep they are really like you.

Trying to be honest and loving and true.

 

See me as different, then see me the same;

Get past my outside and see my true flame.

I’m different about things that create all the chatter.

But I am just like you for the things that do matter.

I’m human like you and one wish to define,

A life that is happy and loving for all time.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work. 

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

LIFE GOES BY IN A FLASH OF LIGHT

As 2017 begins we all hear the usual talk of New Year’s Resolutions, the desire to make improvements in one’s life, all of which is perfectly fine of course. If you are genuinely unhappy with a certain aspect (or aspects) of your life, then by all means it’s appropriate to take steps to make changes that would lead to more satisfying results. With that said, there is a hazard to being so focused on achieving something down the road that we fail to live our lives as fully we can within the context of the only time that really matters – NOW. And, the more we remain centered on getting someplace the greater the likelihood that we fail to truly appreciate all the good things we already have in our lives.

 

Yes, we’ve all heard it, “be grateful,” but how many of us actually take the time to acknowledge all of our blessings on a daily basis? The answer is probably not very many. What makes it even more challenging is a media (news & advertising both) that constantly focuses on “what’s missing” in life, selling the future all the time to keep the wheels of economic growth rolling forward. From my own life experience I can attest to spending way too much time thinking that getting someplace else was the key to happiness as opposed to finding the happiness within any given moment.

 

Alas, I literally spent decades in that mindset and missed out on so much of life. Now at the ripe old age of 60 I can relate even more directly to what Pink Floyd meant when they wrote this line in their hit song “Time”:

 

“And then one day you’ll find 10 years have got behind you.”

 

Yes, indeed, if one lives life always looking forward I can speak from personal experience that an entire decade (or more) can just fly by without you even being aware of it, and in the process much of day to day life winds up being squandered.

 

For anyone reading this post who may be in their 20s, 30s and even 40s, it’s possible that you might consider that the age of 60 is “old,” and it’s likely that you may not even be able to relate to being such a lofty age. I certainly felt that way when living in those age groups, but I can assure you of this, if you are fortunate enough to make it to that age you will realize firsthand that while your body has aged the same basic essence that was “you” at 20, 30, and 40 remains the same. Sure, you would have evolved as a person and hopefully changed for the better, but all those versions of you still exist within the context of your mind. And you will likely find yourself wondering someday, “Where in the heck did all that time go?”

 

For this reason, it’s so important each day to have a healthy respect for life itself and not sleepwalk through it, looking forward to some future event or circumstances to finally bring the happiness that always seems to be just around the corner. Life is NOW, period. So live it fully, graciously accept the good and the bad each day and make your best effort to remind yourself to remain conscious moment-to-moment of what you are doing and thinking throughout the day. In everything you do give all of your focus to what is happening in that moment, like savoring every sip of your favorite beverage and every bite of the foods you love. Do your very best not to get distracted by things that “in the great design of life are so pitifully small” as the musical artist Todd Rundgren once wrote.

 

In closing, consider this thought-provoking passage from the late Fr. Anthony DeMello’s book Awareness:

 

“Visit a graveyard. It’s an enormously purifying and beautiful experience. You look at this name and you say, “Gee, he lived so many years ago, two centuries ago; he must have had all the problems that I have, must have had lots of sleepless nights.” How crazy, we live for such a short time. An Italian poet said, “We live in a flash of light; evening comes, and it’s night forever.” It’s only a flash and we waste it. We waste it with our anxiety, our worries, our concerns, our burdens.”

This article was written by Jeff Maziarek

Click HERE to Learn more about Jeff’s work.

WEBSITE: http://blog.spiritsimple.com/

YOUR JOB. YOUR IDENTITY?

How many times have you attended a networking event and the opening question from someone you just met is, “So, what do you do?”

 

Of course you have. And I bet you’ve asked the same question in return. Not that there’s anything wrong with the question, but if you pause and think about it for a moment, it’s rather impersonal.

 

But then again, so are we.

 

Western culture has trained us to demonstrate a strong work ethic. And in our devotion to production, we’ve been taught to place more emphasis on the profession rather than the person. We identify ourselves by what we do more than who we are.

 

Many of us have also been conditioned to separate work and life, but this separation can wreak havoc on our personalities. Namely, we end up having to manage two different personas—the “work me” and the “personal me.”

 

But in other parts of the globe, the perspective is different.

 

When I lived and worked in Bangalore, my fellow coworkers were more interested in getting to know me (as a person) before we started working together. My team understood that work is an extension of who we are—not the other way around. In India, they believed that people come before process.

 

When we equate our personal identity with only what we are doing, we miss out on the other half of the equation: who we are being. Throughout our lifetime, what we “do” is dynamic and changing, but who we “be” remains consistent. In fact, our human being is always growing, learning, and evolving.

 

Our lives have momentum, and so do our careers. So when we have a shift in employment—when a large part of what we are doing changes—the effects ripple into all the other areas of our life.

 

Whether it’s sudden career transition like a layoff, or planned transition such as retirement or building a new business, a shift in career is one of the largest stressors we can experience in our lifetime. And since we identify ourselves so significantly by what we do, having our career foundation shift can feel like a rug is being pulled out from under us.

 

Working as a career transition coach, leading The White Box Club™, and having been through several job transitions myself, I’ve experienced firsthand the rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions that career changes bring. If we can know our true selves better—our human beings—then we can stand more resilient and adaptable during these major life events.

 

Here are some useful tips to help maintain your identity through a career shift or any major life transition:

 

Keep up with yourself. Life is in constant change and so are we. Keeping up with yourself is honoring your life changes—both on the inside and outside of you—and choosing to deliberately grow. Developing new interests and learning new skills will also keep us engaged in our own personal and professional progress, resulting in having a larger investment in ourselves.

 

Know your strengths; know yourself. We all have strengths that are unique to us—some are obvious, and some are not. When we identify our strengths by using tools such as CliftonStrengths, we can learn to recognize and appreciate our gifts. In return, the value of knowing our natural talents can bring us increased productivity, confidence, and clarity of purpose.

 

Seek alignment in your work and relationships. Alignment means that we feel connected and engaged in our work and the people we work with, and this feeling is reflected back to us through the quality of those experiences. When we consciously seek alignment with others, we look for the win-win solution.

 

Develop a high tolerance for uncertainty. If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that life is uncertain. There will always be changes and unexpected events. If we can remain flexible in times of stress, we can stay connected to our natural creativity. Since none of us really know what tomorrow will bring, we can choose to relax and let go of the need to know.

 

You are supposed to be unique. Like our strengths, each of us has unique talents and gifts to bring to the world. Appreciate your differences—they’re what make you valuable and wonderful just the way you are. Celebrate your individuality! And know that there will always be new opportunities and relationships waiting for you to discover them.

 

So the next time you meet someone new, try “Tell me more about yourself,” or “What are you excited about?” instead of the obligatory “What do you do?” See how the conversation changes about their being more than doing.

 

Isn’t it about time?

This article was written by Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Click HERE to Learn more about Michael’s work.

WEBSITE: https://michaelcreative.com/books/

FRIENDSHIP: SHARING AND REPAIRING OUR LIVES

My best friend just happens to be my sister.

On the other hand, maybe it's because she's my sister that she's my best friend. We often take liberties with family that we might not take with friends, which can be good or bad, depending on how we relate and how self-aware we are. This got me thinking about what, exactly, those differences might be and whether I might benefit from embodying more of them with my other friends.

First, though, I had to ask myself what criteria would define a good, healthy friendship, and I discovered some interesting things. Just as friendship is about nurturing and supporting growth, starting a business requires similar care in choosing the right partners for its formation. For those embarking on this journey, exploring top LLC companies can ensure you're entrusting your dream to capable hands, cementing the foundation of your venture with trust and expertise.

For me, a close friendship—like any close relationship—involves emotional honesty, trust, mutual support, active listening, giving and receiving, respect, acceptance, kindred values, a heartfelt connection, and a sense of humor. It also requires healthy boundaries and self-responsibility, so that we know the difference between 'sharing' and 'dumping', and so that we take ownership of our actions and reactions, rather than complaining or constantly reiterating some old, worn-out story that we don't attempt to change. And perhaps the most valuable quality of all is knowing that we can trust our friends to tell us the truth about ourselves, even if it hurts or we won't necessarily like it. 

So far, so good. But what happens if you don't have a super-sister-friend and you don't feel you have the right to expect or express those qualities? While solid friendships are a positive, nourishing part of life at any time, it's when we're in crisis that we truly need our friends—and that our friends get to experience the more vulnerable, authentic, daring parts of us. This is where we get to discover who our friends really are, and what we ourselves are made of. This is where the real 'juice' is—the stuff of life that pushes us beyond the superficial layers of self, with all its pain, sadness and soul-searching.

What stops us from going deeper?

We often refrain from sharing our biggest wounds or problems with our friends, for several reasons:

 1) We may think we're protecting them by not burdening them with our problems when, in reality, we're withholding a part of ourselves that we're afraid to share because we feel ashamed or insecure.

2) We may not realize that sharing our deepest wounds is what creates the deepest intimacy and connection, while also touching others or opening their hearts in some profound way.

3) We may think our problems are not important enough or that we're not worthy of being heard.  

4) We may feel uncomfortable asking for support if we've been taught that other people's needs are more important than our own.

Yet sharing those deeper parts of ourselves enables us to heal, while opening us up to positive input, comfort and support. Sharing our feelings helps us to process them and, often, it's only in articulating what we feel that we gain an understanding of what we want or of what's really going on. The parts that we tend to hold back are usually those parts that hold the greatest emotional 'charge'—and thus the greatest potential for a breakthrough. Sharing our shame, hurt, guilt or despair lessens its power over us and demonstrates our innate worthiness and lovability. Sharing it means we give ourselves permission to be authentic and vulnerable, while acknowledging that our 'stuff' has nothing to do with who we truly are—and everything to do with who we can become, once we let it go.

It's only by sharing all the tough stuff—the crises, break-ups, depression, funks, bad news and bad hair days—that we create depth and meaning in our relationships. Sharing is our invitation to others to be a part of what matters to us. And it's the friends with whom we share the tough stuff that we will rush to tell about the good stuff, as soon as it happens. Because they, more than anyone else, will understand how good that good stuff feels, knowing all the challenges we've been through. And we will have the joy of sharing our more powerful side with them, knowing that they've also seen us at our worst.

Are you living in 'me-ville'?

If there's one thing I've learned, in my years of being a coach and sharing in the challenges of my many courageous clients, it's that friendships—and relationships—are really all that matter. This is what makes life worthwhile and inspires us to be all that we can be. Sharing all of who we are is how we get to discover what we're capable of and how empowering that can also be for others. Withholding ourselves, on the other hand, can create an unhealthy inward focus that keeps us imprisoned in our own minds. It can block the insights that hold the key to our emotional freedom; it can magnify our problems; it can promote catastrophic thinking; and it can create the perception that nobody understands us, that we are all alone, and that it's all about me, me, me.

Daring to share our deepest, most powerful selves builds the kind of friendship that sets us free—the kind of friendship that will deliver us from me-ville.

This article was written by Olga Sheean

Click HERE to Learn more about Olga’s work.

WEBSITE: https://olgasheean.com

DOG WISDOM

Every morning is great, never a dark thunder cloud. Every morning starts new, with wagging so proud.
Not stuck in the past, not worried about money.
Not complaining about a day that’s just not that sunny. Not holding a grudge, or upset with their friends;

Not worried about fashion, Facebook or the Benz. Not wondering if today, things will all go their way. But present in each moment of each blessed day.

Dogs don’t need much – they all just want love, Add some good food, and a family to be part of. Not much more – no high expectations;
No fancy car or elaborate vacations.

They want some attention and moments to share Their spirit, their wisdom, and how much they care.

Then, there are we humans with lives oh so rough. All worried and nervous about having enough stuff. We get challenged by looks, comments and frowns; We get upset, sad and all versions of downs.

Little things upset us and lead us astray,
We get all upset when things don’t go our way.

We have our couldas and wouldas and things that we ought From voices of others, from things we’ve been taught.
They keep us all twisted and scared without reason.
They keep us alarmed, concerned, in each season.

The world takes us down with our focus on lack, On limits and problems and meaningless yack.

We don’t see what dogs see – a new view each day, To have fun, to live life, to be happy and play.
All around us is wisdom, of how to live right,
To live with a focus of play and delight.

Tune in to those eyes that have no conditions, And the tails that wag without any suspicions. Tune in to the greeting, delivered on demand. Tune in to the love, given so freely, so grand.

There is much to learn from the Pug or the Lab,
The Schnauzer or Shih Tzu, with coats oh so fab.
The Shepherd and Sheepdog, the Maltese and Beagle, The St Bernard, the Boxer and Great Dane so regal. They have just one wish – to have a great life.
They have no agenda, no interest in strife.

There are just some days that I am really seeing That dogs are way smarter than we human beings.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

FAITHFUL FRIENDSHIP

How to Do the Hard and Holy Work of Faithful Friendship

“So who’s mentoring whom here?” my friend asked with a mischievous grin.

Good question!

When friends challenge one another with shared books, Scripture reading, and transparent prayer, everyone is sharpened and restored in a way that uniquely shows the love of God. Janice Peterson calls this “spiritual friendship,” and has reached back into her long memory for the purpose of sharing her friend Gertrude, the woman who poured lemonade and listened to Jan’s teen-age thoughts and dreams.

Being seen and valued by a friend who was “always present, always caring,” set Peterson on a course to be that person for others, to live given, and to love well. In Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, Jan remembers lemonade on the porch and shares her deep conviction that friendships can be life-altering in all the best ways.

 

A spiritual friendship differs from mentoring in that no one takes the lead. There’s no resident expert or hierarchy at work. Instead, spiritual friendship is characterized by an unstructured giving and receiving, “appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer. It’s being willing to share when you need to share and learn when you need to learn. It’s caring for the well-being of the other person, and letting her care for you as well.” (xviii)

Ministering alongside her husband, author and pastor Eugene Peterson, Janice seized the life-enriching opportunities that her role as a pastor’s wife provided for investing in relationships. With rich insights lifted from Romans 12, she has distilled for her readers five elements that have infused her most formative relationships:

Caring

“Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” (Romans 12:1 MSG)

We become caring people with practice, strengthening our awareness of others like a muscle. The author witnessed this outward focus modeled in her long-ago friend Gertrude and has concluded that regardless of gifting and personality, anyone can choose to put others first and pay attention to the needs of others.

As she matured, Peterson found her own caring heart drawn to the larger world. She began to serve on the Fair Housing Committee in her area and to practice cooking and eating habits that demonstrated her concern for the challenge of world hunger.

To become more caring:

·       Pay attention to those who are doing it well and copy them.

·       Push down your pride and receive unselfish caring from others.

·       Take note of the needs of the people God has placed right in front of your eyes.

Acceptance

“Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.” (Romans 12:2 MSG)

Peterson warns, “A spiritual friend is someone you enjoy being with, but you may not always find the friendship simple or straightforward.” (30) As a “classic extrovert,” Janice finds it easy to take others at face value, but connecting with those who are more challenging to love can take the special effort of seeking to see the world from their perspective. Ironically, the first step in accepting others may be the task of self-acceptance.

To become more accepting of others:

·       Connect with them by participating in the things that interest them.

·       Spend time connecting with God to learn His heart of acceptance for you and for others.

Service

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.” (Romans 12:11, 12 MSG)

Living her way into God’s calling upon her life, Janice Peterson swam upstream in the 1960’s when other women were leaving their homes in droves to seek employment. Called to be a pastor’s wife and a mother, she has served and loved in her own unique way, motivating others to do likewise by her example.

To serve well:

·       Be ready to spring into action, loving your community in concrete ways.

·       Serve courageously when God points out a need that you are able to meet.

Hospitality

“Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. . . Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:13, 16 MSG)

Hospitality puts into practice the caring, serving, and accepting that friendship requires. Taking time to rightly align her readers’ understanding of the term, Peterson defines hospitality through a biblical lens: “the welcoming reception and treatment of guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” (67) The welcome of hospitality is a bridge to wholeness as we generously receive others and let them know us, warts and all.

To become more hospitable:

·       Forget about “entertaining” guests and just enjoy them, feed them, and listen to them.

·       Start with your family and move in ever widening circles.

Encouragement

“Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:14-16 MSG)

The church provides the perfect backdrop for mutual encouragement as believers motivate one another to acts of service, use of God-given gifts, and a continual focus on God and His faithfulness. Reorienting one another gently toward an others-orientation, we discover the truest and most healthy version of ourselves, and then offer that up as a gift to God. In the process, we also become a gift to others, a spiritual friend, putting on display the caring, accepting, serving, hospitable, encouraging heart of our relational God.

Many thanks to NavPress for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which, of course, is offered freely and with honesty.

This article was written by Michele Morin

Click HERE to Learn more about Michele’s work.

WEBSITE: https://michelemorin.wordpress.com

WHAT DOES A THOUGHT HAVE IN COMMON WITH A LION?

The myriad of different personal/spiritual growth books and self-help programs available today all concur on at least one primary tenet – that our thoughts are far more powerful than we realize. Thoughts do indeed have the ability to create form, and if one doubts this to be true, they simply need to look around them and acknowledge that literally any man-made thing in existence had to first begin with a thought. And thought, coupled with strong emotion, leads to even faster manifestations.

 

The power of thought to create form also applies to our bodies. Through our thoughts and the emotions that emerge from them, we can either create healthy bodies, or we can develop illnesses and diseases. Anyone who has read the alternative healing information I’ve shared on this blog is aware that I am totally convinced that negative thinking/emotions are at the foundation of all physical problems.

 

The fact is our amazing bodies were expertly designed to protect us from legitimate, physical threats. As you probably know, whenever we are presented with one, such an impending attack from a lion or other wild animal, the hypothalamus area of our brain initiates a sequence of nerve cell firing and chemical release that prepares our body for running or fighting (i.e., the infamous fight or flight reaction with its accompanying rush of adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol, as well as other physical reactions, such as the temporary suppression of the immune system).

 

This hard-wired reaction has obviously been a key to the survival of our species, however, these days the vast majority of us rarely have to face such life-threatening situations. And yet, our bodies continue to generate such aggressive responses to far less alarming circumstances, including traffic jams, disagreements with others, financial stresses, work pressures, etc. In the end, the events themselves don’t actually cause our body to generate stress hormones; it is our thoughts about them that do so. As such, just a thought held in our consciousness for more than a passing moment is enough to cause physical reactions within our bodies. And, these reactions, if repeated frequently, often lead to the manifestation of illnesses and diseases due to the immune system suppression referenced earlier.

 

The reality is we unconsciously create our physical dysfunctions by thinking thoughts that automatically trigger fight or flight reactions. It’s therefore clearly in our best interests to develop the ability to remain truly “conscious” in all circumstances by swiftly assuming the perspective a “witness” to our life, rather than solely being the participant. In my book Spirituality Simplified, I quote Fr. Anthony DeMello, who described this as the ability to “step outside of yourself and literally observe whatever is going on in you, and around you as if it were happening to someone else.” In essence, this means the higher part of you (i.e., the “I” in DeMello’s teachings) observes “me” (i.e., the ego).

 

Over a period of years, and with a lot of practice, I’ve developed the ability to shift into that witness perspective, however, there are times when negative (e.g., fearful) thoughts manifest the fight or flight response almost instantaneously in me. Under such circumstances, it almost feels as if I am “being thought” by an outside force rather than it being any type of conscious decision on my part. In such instances, it can be extremely challenging to shut down the fight or flight response once it’s initiated, and that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach takes hold followed by even more negative thoughts and additional stress hormones. To address these types of situations, I’ve found that applying the following steps have been of great value to me:

 

Begin taking slow, deliberate, and very deep breaths down into the abdomen (as opposed to breathing into the chest).

 

Next, start asking questions of yourself either silently or out loud (e.g., Am I safe right now? Is what I am afraid of actually affecting me now? Are my basic needs being met at this moment? Do I have a money problem right this minute? These are just examples, as you obviously need to determine the questions that best suit what you are experiencing.) The answers will usually serve to bring some peace to you, as in most instances the only threat you’re actually facing is the lion in your own mind! If necessary, repeat the questions and keep answering them until you feel your body calm down.

 

If after completing steps one and two the stress response continues to trouble you, then try repeating a mantra such as, “no thought, no thought, no thought, no thought” for at least one and half minutes, or until the calm comes. You also can close your eyes and picture a large movie screen with in front of you with nothing displayed on it and repeat “blank screen, blank screen, blank screen” for a comparable amount of time.

 

It may take a couple of minutes, but eventually the physical symptoms of stress do taper off for me when I apply this technique. It is important to note, however, that although this process can be very helpful, it does not solve the source of the problem; rather, it’s more of a “coping” mechanism.

In the end, to get to the heart of the matter and release whatever lies at the foundation of the stress response requires some type of energy healing modality.

This article was written by Jeff Maziarek

Click HERE to Learn more about Jeff’s work.

WEBSITE: http://blog.spiritsimple.com/

 

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN TRAUMA AND PERSONAL GROWTH

I bet all of you have heard of Post-traumatic stress, but I wonder how many of you know about Post-traumatic growth (PTG). We so often think of the downside of trauma—depression, hyper-vigilance, anxiety and flashbacks—but it turns out that there’s an upside to it as well. The term, post-traumatic growth, was first used by Richard Tedeschi, Ph.D. and Lawrence Calhoun, Ph.D. in 1995 at the University of North Carolina to describe the positive changes that they saw in patients who had been affected by and were struggling with trauma.

If you are someone who’s been impacted by trauma, you might find it hard to believe that there’s anything positive about it, but research tells us that there is. "People develop new understandings of themselves, the world they live in, how to relate to other people, the kind of future they might have and a better understanding of how to live life," says Tedeschi. Tanako Katu, Ph.D. at Oakland University explains that, “PTG…refers to what can happen when someone who has difficulty bouncing back experiences a traumatic event that challenges his or her core beliefs, endures psychological struggle (even a mental illness such as post-traumatic stress disorder), and then ultimately finds a sense of personal growth. It's a process that "takes a lot of time, energy and struggle.”

According to the Post-Traumatic Growth Inventory (PTGI) which uses self-report scales, people may change positively in these areas: appreciation of life, relationship with others, new possibilities in life, personal strength and spiritual change. Does everyone experience growth? Tedeschi says, "It all depends on the trauma, the circumstances, the timing of the measurement…[and] on how you define growth using the PTGI, looking at total score, means, factors or individual items," and he estimates that about one-half to two-thirds of people show PTG.

Key traits that facilitate PTG are extraversion and openness to experience. The former makes people more likely to connect with others (and I would add, perhaps, to seek help from them), while the latter, lacking rigid belief systems, makes them more willing to look at viewpoints that are different from their own. I can validate from my clinical experience that clients who are connected to others do much better recovering from trauma than those who remain isolated and stuck in their traumatic suffering. It’s also been my experience that clients who are willing to shift beliefs and see things from another perspective can heal and often create better lives for themselves than they could ever have imagined. (“Growth after trauma” by Lorna Collier, 11/2016, vol. 47, no. 10, accessed 6/5/17, http://www.apa.org/monitor/2016/11/growth-trauma.aspx).

This article was written by Karen R. Koenig

 Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.

WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/

http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/

YOU’RE GREAT AND YOU’RE AWESOME, JUST AS YOU ARE

In a town far away on top of a hill,

Lived people so narrow, judgmental and shrill.

They decided on high that all hair should be brown.

They decided for everyone who lived in their town.

 

“To live here,” they cried, “brown hair is a must.

Brown hair is just right, all others are bust.

If other than brown is just who you are,

Then you must leave. Depart! Go very far!

For we won’t have people who don’t look like us.

Brown is what’s right. Our rules. It is thus!”

 

In one of the families, young Trent was born third.

In a family so big and so famous was heard,

A cry of great grief like someone had died,

The aunts and uncles and parents all cried.

Young Trent, their treasure, though brown hair expected,

Was born blond, a towhead, a child rejected.

 

Though cute and adorable, smart with eyes wide,

His parents knew that his hair had to hide.

If the neighbors and townspeople had any doubt,

That Trent was not brown-haired, the family was out.

 

From the day he could crawl, Trent’s hair was dyed brown.

This gave them permission to live in this town.

His parents feared someday his blond hair would show,

Because hair on a kid never ceases to grow.

 

Each Saturday night as the bath waters ran,

A small dab of brown came out of the can,

To cover those roots of the hair that kept growing,

Like a lawn after rain that needed some mowing.

 

And so it was thus, each day spent in “hair-hiding,”

In plain sight, with a hat, and some dye so complying.

And all seemed as okay, no foul and no harm,

Until one day, that day, there came cause for alarm.

 

That day, at the mirror, young Trent stood there staring,

At brown hair AND blond hair – so great, and so glaring.

He’d been told his whole life about hair not so brown,

These people were gross, not fit for their town.

He realized that day he was different than most.

He was blond, not brown-haired. He’s handsome, not gross.

 

He called to his parents to share his great joy

He was different – unique – not an average boy.

He loved this about him. It gave him great pride.

He was different indeed. He had nothing to hide.

 

We are each born great, we’re remarkable art.

We are perfect, unique, not a kind of half-start.

We can’t change who we are. That’s a great thing.

We are who we are; it’s our hardwiring.

 

His parents warned, they cautioned and cried.

“Being different’s not easy, so please Trent just hide.

Let’s dye your hair brown so you fit and blend in.

Let’s get the brown back so life’s safe as it’s been.”

 

But Trent just said, “No!” on that major day.

“Born different, born right,” is just what he’d say.

“Born blond, not brown-haired, is how I exist.

Being true to myself is what I insist.”

 

“For someone much greater thought I should be,

A towhead, a blond, not a fake brown-haired me.

Who are these others, with comments to make?

I am who I am. God made no mistake.”

 

The hair dying stopped on that fateful day.

Pretending was done on the 18th of May.

Proud to be done with the hair-dying story,

Trent wanted his real life, a life of grand glory.

A life that was honest and open and clear,

A life to be lived without hiding or fear.

 

Trent marched to school with hair like the sun.

The gold in it shone, like threads that been spun,

But support did not happen, not a moment or second.

It didn’t work out as he thought or had reckoned.

They taunted and teased, chased, hit and called, “Nay!”

It changed all his friends in only one day.

 

Chased into the woods, with mean words attacking.

Trent stayed hiding there ‘til daylight went packing.

He hid in the dark and was sobbing with fear,

That someone who hated his hair could be near.

 

“How could this all matter?” He wondered. He cried.

“How could being different make others despise?

I have no control of the color of my hair,

Born with it dark or born with it fair.

Like our gender, or height, preference or skin tone,

We get what we get, it’s really our own.

For down deep I’m still me, the same me I have been.

Down deep, I’m still Trent, their classmate and friend.”

 

And in that tough moment, a moment of fear,

Young Trent saw a stranger, approaching, quite near.

A man with a beard, long, thick and so white;

A smile so warm, so kind and so bright.

“What brings you to woods, so dark and so deep?

The old man continued, “And can cause you to weep?”

 

Trent shared his sad story in every detail.

The old man just listened and grew very pale.

He waited ‘til young Trent was all about finished,

Did not interrupt, critique or diminish

The sadness, the pain, the hurt so disarming

That someone so young could find life so alarming.

 

Once Trent had recounted his unhappy story,

The old man responded with strength and with glory.

His words were bold, his lessons were wise.

Trent listened intently for ways to devise,

 A way to be happy when others all yack.

To be strong and courageous when others attack.

 

The wise man was brilliant and very aware.

He took in a breath, then started to share:

“We are truly born great, just as we are!

Our lives are important. You’re amazing, my young star.

But with others, they think, it’s for them to say

Who is fine, who is good, who is right, who’s okay.”

“For greatness is not in brown hair or blond.

Greatness is not in how our words sound.

Greatness is not on our outside – our skin.

Greatness, true greatness, always happens within.”

 

“We just can’t know how great you can become

By looking at hair color. That’s crazy, that’s dumb.

Down deep we’re amazing and awesome and bold.

Down deep is our value, our treasure, our gold.”

 

“No one has eyes to see what you see.

No one can tell you who or what you should be.

That’s your job. Yes it is. It’s all up to you.

It’s your work and your life. You’ve got to be true.”

 

“Life isn’t easy, its tough and its trying.

It gives you hard tests to make sure you’re applying

What you know of TrueYou, what gifts you receive,

How great you can be and what you believe.”

 

“You were born awesome – awesome indeed.

But to live each day awesome you must become freed

From the judgments of others, from perspectives so narrow

To let your light soar like a brilliant gold arrow.”

“The world needs TrueYou – the “you” as you are.

Blond or brunette, gay, straight or bizarre.

You are you, and amazing! The “you” born just right.

You were born to shine brightly, to share your great light.”

 

But you can’t shine in life, when you let yourself hide.

And you can’t change the world, if you’re ashamed inside.

You didn’t choose how you’re born, where you’re from.

But you can surely choose the “you” you become.

 

Young Trent felt alive and committed to greatness.

He thanked the wise man but feared for the lateness.

His family’d be worried, scared and unbound,

That young Trent was not home, not safe and not sound.

 

He hurried right home in the dark of the night.

But this time for him, a walk without fright.

More aware, more informed and so much more wise.

He got to his door at a quarter to five.

Once home and together, the lost son lamented

With details and stories. The sobbing relented.

Trent shared a new lesson of power and strength.

They stood right by him; they’d go to great lengths

To handle what happens, to just rise above.

To help Trent show up to a life he can love.

 

The next day with power and confidence glowing,

Trent moved through the town without any fear showing.

He let loose his blond hair and wore it with pride.

He stood up to names and to insults so snide.

 

His courage to be true soon had others inspired,

The insults then stopped, mean comments subsided.

Trent showed that hair color makes no difference at all

Be true to yourself and you’ll never feel small.

We didn’t choose how we’re born, where we’re from.

But we can surely choose the “who” we become.

 

And soon many others with all hair colors flowing,

Appeared in the town, the numbers were growing.

People in fear with hair a fake brown,

Were actually there hiding, still living in town.

 

Pretending is bad, it loads on the strife.

Hiding restricts us, it limits our life.

We are each given gifts to discover and use,

And we shortchange the world if we don’t know or refuse

To be open and honest and accept the real “me”.

Trent learned that it takes this to really be free.

 

In just that one moment, things started to change.

People are people, not weirdoes or strange,

Just people, all different, all great, all divine,

Allowed to be true, to be honest, and fine.

 

And changed they all were from perspectives so narrow.

They cheered and applauded and hailed Trent like pharaoh.

But Trent just continued to live life each day,

Honest and great, in his unique way.

 

From that day on, in towns far and near

That kept people out because of some fear.

Now invited them in – all are welcome you know.

We all belong. Yes we do! It is right. It is so.

Come out from your hiding. Join life. Be alive!

When you hide you stay small and afraid - you can’t thrive.

You’re an original, not a copy or fake.

You’re the real deal, just perfect; you are no mistake.

 

So find your right place, as soon as you can.
Be an accountant, a salesman, a singer or stuntman.

It’s all up to you, the directions you choose.
It’s all up to you, don’t wait, don’t you snooze.

Each day that goes by, you never get back.

Each moment, each day, each minute, each track

Is gone. Yes it is, but the next one is here.

Use it wisely. Don’t waste it! Let your best self appear.

 

You were born awesome, no matter what you’ve been taught.

You were born amazing, born cool – you got what you got.

It’s your gift. It’s yours. It’s all just for you.

It’s divine in its nature so, be true to your “who.”

 

Be yourself, be your best. Live life your own way.

Be proud, find your place, make the most of each day.

You’re great and your awesome, just as you are.

Be your true self, be a bright shining star.

This article was written by Jay Forte

Click HERE to Learn more about Jay’s work.

WEBSITE: https://thefortefactor.com/

RESPECTING THE POWER OF OUR SPOKEN WORD

Within “Spirituality Simplified” I included this passage because I felt it was a very important admonition:

 

“DO NOT SPEAK WHAT YOU DON’T WANT, because it is done when you speak it, every idle word. The laws of the universe do not sift through whether you mean what you say or intend it to happen. The creative process only puts it in motion.”

– Diandra, in “A New Day Is Dawning”

 

Now ponder on that for a moment…what it speaks to is that our words have POWER, much, much more than we realize. The concept of the “word made flesh” in biblical terms is related here as well.

 

SO, how often do you hear people speak about what they “don’t want” on a daily basis? The truth is, we are all guilty of it every single time we tell a “story” about something negative we are going through, or have been through, or speak in an anxious way about the future. Yes, every time we speak it we are building more and more energy around it and reinforcing it into our lives.

 

Some might say that we need to share feelings as opposed to stuffing them down. I get that, and, if one must “get it off their chest,” so to speak, how about this – do it ONE time with someone you trust who can hold the space of compassion, and who also can forget they ever heard it.

This as opposed to people broadcasting it all over Facebook and other social media sites and then having tens (or hundreds or thousands) of people adding even more energy to what they DON’T want!

 

This article was written by Jeff Maziarek

Click HERE to Learn more about Jeff’s work.

 WEBSITE: http://blog.spiritsimple.com/

HOW TRAUMA CAN CHANGE LIVES — FOR THE BETTER

Most of us think about trauma as just about the worst thing that can happen to us. And for many, it is. Even if you’ve survived trauma, you still may be dealing with its physical and emotional aftermath, which perhaps includes emotional eating. How, then, can trauma ever have an upside?

 

In “How trauma can change lives—for the better,” Jim Rendon, author of Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth, says yes, indeed, it can (TIME 8/3/15, p. 29). Therapists and the general public have long been schooled in the notion that trauma is terrible and nothing more, he says, one that changes peoples’ lives for the worse and stays with them to death. Post-traumatic stress disorder, with its nightmares, hyper-vigilance and flashbacks, can be frightening to experience or live with in a loved one.

 

What, then, is science telling Rendon that makes him believe that trauma sometimes can be anything but a negative experience? He says that “an estimated 75% of people will experience a traumatic event in their lifetime” and that, while many report negative effects, down the road, others report positive changes—greater inner strength, increased intimacy, and a “reorientation” in life toward more fulfilling goals. In short, over time, the pain of trauma can help people “change for the better.” Rendon maintains that “Growth begins with healing from trauma.”

 

He also says that growth and transformative change are based on the premise that people seek and receive help. Sadly, many trauma survivors don’t recognize themselves as having been trauma victims and, therefore, forgo clinical treatment. They’re too scared of opening up old wounds or too ashamed of what happened to them, even when they were innocent victims. Moreover, when trauma occurs, their pre-trauma mental health determines how they’ll react to and heal from it.

 

I’ve seen people do exactly what Rendon says: survive trauma and go on to change their lives—and the lives of others—for the better because of it. This happens when: women and men who are raped go on to become sexual abuse counselors and victim advocates, parents of murdered children put their hearts into changing gun laws and increasing access to mental health counseling, and when people hurt by drunk drivers work to educate the public about drinking and driving. If you’re a trauma survivor, consider how both trauma and healing might change your life for the better. Then, even if you’re afraid, get the treatment you need.

 

This article was written by Karen R. Koenig

Click HERE to Learn more about Karen’s work.

WEBSITES: http://www.karenrkoenig.com/

http://www.nicegirlsfinishfat.com/

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR SPOUSE IS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION?

How to Spot and Support your Spouse through Depression?

Are you noticing a strange difference in the behaviour of your spouse from the last few weeks or months? Sometimes, it is a temporary issue that lasts for a few days because of the difference in mutual understanding or some bad phase of life. However, some symptoms are long-lasting and become a part of life. If the problem with your spouse is persisting for a long time, it can be depression. The term depression has become too common that you can find every second person suffering from it. Sometimes, it can also be a bipolar disorder but people mistook as depression. The depression treatment and bipolar treatment are two different things that only a psychiatrist can tell you with deep explanations. If your spouse is suffering from depression, it is your duty to help them in coming out of the situation.

Check Out Depression Treatment

The Major Problem With Mental Disorders

Whether it is a depression, dementia, bipolar disorder or anything else, most of the people don’t have any idea that they are suffering from a mental disorder. There is a common assumption that a person suffering from mental illness is considered unfit for society. This is totally wrong because almost everyone goes through depressive and manic phases of life for a while or longer. It doesn’t mean that they are incurable. Even after knowing the mental condition, many people never accept reality. Consequently, the problem becomes worse than finally ruin a beautiful relationship as well as personal life too. If your spouse is also facing a similar situation, it is your responsibility to get them out of the situation. Here is some crucial information regarding depression treatment that you must read and understand.

Most Common Symptoms That Spot Depression in Your Spouse

There is a long list of depression symptoms & a person may be facing only some of them. Here is a list that you need to remember:

 

1)    Lack of concentration in work

2)    Sudden change in hunger levels

3)    Exhausted face

4)    Anxious

5)    Sad & full of negativity

6)    Hormonal fluctuation

7)    Grief of failure

8)    Frequent headache

9)    Ruining sex life

10) Nausea

 

If such kinds of symptoms are becoming apparent in your partner, you need an expert on depression treatment. However, sometimes, bipolar disorder is also mistaken as depression because of some reasons that you will know in the below article.

 

Reasons Why People Consider Bipolar Disorder as Depression?

The human mind is more complex than any other organ present in the body. Therefore, people sometimes fail to understand their problems. The same thing is applicable to depression because some of its symptoms are identical to bipolar disorder. Consequently, some psychiatrists star bipolar treatment rather than depression treatment. There are 2 phases of bipolar disorder i.e.

a)    Manica

b)    Depressive

The depressive phase shares some symptoms of depression but its treatment differs.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR SPOUSE IS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION?

1)   Gain your personal knowledge about depression

If you really want to help your spouse in getting rid of depression, it is advisable to gain some knowledge regarding depression first. With adequate knowledge, you can understand their situation in a better way.  Some major symptoms are already mentioned in the above article. If you are noticing some of these symptoms, try to help your partner in realising the situation. It is possible that they will not ready to accept the truth for once but it is your duty to motivate them for visiting a psychiatrist without fearing of society or anyone else. Doctors may suggest medicines and some rejuvenating therapies.

2)   Maintain a supportive environment   

If the patient is not living in a healthy environment, no treatment will work effectively. At home, maintain an environment in which they follow a healthy routine of life. Some of the most important things to support them are:

1)    Exercise & meditate together as a daily routine

2)    Prepare a healthy diet plan as per doctor’s guideline and implement it strictly.

3)    Maintain regularity in the routine of treatment without missing a single activity.

3)   Love unconditionally

Depression treatment will only work successfully if you love your spouse unconditionally. A person suffering from depression may get angry on you, shout or try to harm too. Never give-up in such kinds of situations if you love them truly. Always remember that this is just a bad time and time never remain the same. However, you can create a big difference for the upcoming time with your positive efforts.

 

These are some positive efforts that you can attempt for the well being of your partner. Some odd circumstances may occur during the treatment period that will hurt you but never lose hope. With a proficient psychiatrist, positive attitude and full dedication, your life can return back on the track.

 

 

This article was written by Sakshi Joshi

Click HERE to Learn more about her work. 

WEBSITE: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sakshi-joshi-2a1446119/

HEAD VERSUS HEART: WHY DID THEY EVER SPLIT UP?

When I was growing up in Ireland and attending secondary school, I had to choose between the sciences and the humanities. At the tender age of 14, when I was clueless about who I really was and what I wanted, I had to make this life-defining choice. Consulting the career-guidance counsellor did not help, as he himself had clearly chosen the wrong career.

Those who wanted a more credible, secure career opted for the sciences, whereas those who wanted to follow their hearts or creative yearnings opted for the arts. We learn early in life that the world of science offers respectability, credibility and security, while the arts and humanities are considered to be less serious or worthy. You don’t often hear about starving engineers, but starving artists appear to be a worldwide phenomenon.

This separation of head from heart has created a fundamental rift between these two essential and complementary aspects of our selves. Without one, we lose perspective; without the other, we lose our humanity. With too much of one, we end up stuck in our heads, relying on logic to make things work; with too much of the other, we may become ungrounded or fail to stand up for ourselves when challenged.

Having just published a book (see https://www.emfoff.com/) that blends science and sentiments in a rather novel way, I was nonetheless surprised when several people told me how brave I was. Did I not worry about losing credibility by talking about consciousness and feelings? Wasn’t I afraid that real scientists would dismiss this kind of book as fluff, lacking scientific credibility? I never even thought about this. To me, science and humanity must come together as equal partners for our world to make sense—and for us to evolve in a positive direction. After all, many of the problems I was addressing in my book were the direct result of the split between head and heart, which is one of the key reasons we have abdicated control over our own lives, surrendering our sense of what’s right in deference to those who supposedly know better than we do.

Body Knows Best

Yet there is no greater authority than the human body—our own personal medium of evolution—and reclaiming our autonomy requires engaging not just our hearts and minds but also our spiritual selves. We must be fully human to be fully effective. We must engage our multi-dimensional selves if we want to have an impact that goes beyond conventional approaches. We must elevate our consciousness if we want to rise above the dysfunction of our world. And we must tell a new story about what’s possible and how powerful we really are.

While we might tend to give more credence to science than anything else, we also love stories. We immerse ourselves in stories, whether they’re our own personal accounts, the books we read, the movies we watch or the history we research. Stories are both an escape from current reality and a potential springboard to a brighter future. We can use them to perpetuate an old pattern or to create a vision of something fabulous.

Think of famous actors and how much money they make. Who else gets paid big bucks for telling stories and prancing around pretending to be something they’re not? Okay, yes, politicians do, although they don’t get paid as much as movie stars and they’re meant to protect our interests rather than just providing entertainment.

Our love of stories, movies and fantasies is all about creativity and imagination. It has nothing to do with science. And science itself would be a lot less advanced if it weren’t for our capacity to dream and envisage phenomenal things, and to tap into universal intelligence for inspiration, healing and breakthroughs. Creativity, intuition and imagination are not just necessary counterparts to left-brain scientific thinking; they are often the midwives that enable a theory, idea or innovation to be born.   

Even scientists fall in love. We all have hearts, although we might try to hide our true feelings in certain contexts, for fear of being considered weak or effeminate. Yet we now know that heartbreak, emotional disconnectedness and loneliness can cause heart attacks and very real, physical conditions, whereas heartfelt emotions are magnetic, connecting us to things about which we care passionately, when fuelled by positive intention and determination. The heart does not use logical analysis to make inspired choices. It operates on a higher plane, tapping into the infinite realm of universal intelligence and intuition.

If your heart is disconnected from your head, it’s a bit like revving your car when it’s stuck in neutral. There’s power there but it’s not engaged; there’s potential for forward movement, but no one is actually driving, steering or focusing in a particular direction. Lots of noise but no action. A waste of energy with no useful outcome.

Home is where the heart is, but the heart is also home. If we abandon it in favour of our heads, we may feel lost, disconnected or conflicted, experiencing mixed results in our endeavours. Reconnecting to our heart and allowing it to guide us is the only sure way to stay true to ourselves and to create a life we love.

To get reconnected, try to incorporate the following seven steps into your daily routine:

1.     Slow down and switch off. Fast-paced living prevents us from connecting with our feelings, processing our emotions and integrating life’s experiences. Busyness, social media and constant online connectivity can be a great way to avoid feeling pain, loss, conflict etc. We need stillness so we can become aware of the important subtle messages from our hearts and bodies.

2.     Practise meditating. Emptying the mind and taking a break from analysing or questioning our lives creates space for inspiration and answers, while giving our over-worked bodies and brains a rest.

3.     Spend time in nature. Being in a natural environment—away from noise, machinery, traffic, phones, computers, work and people—is the most powerful way to ground ourselves and find peace. Nature is all about growth and life, and we could not exist without it. When we spend time in the forest, by the ocean or on a mountaintop, we revitalize our bodies and feed our spirits, often gaining a fresh perspective on things.

4.     Nourish yourself. A healthy body promotes a clear mind and a happy heart. We must nourish our brain, soothe our nervous system and boost our immune system if we want to stay balanced. Wholesome, unprocessed foods, healthy oils (such as organic coconut, camelina, avocado and fish oils), iodine (to protect against manmade electromagnetic radiation), antioxidants (such as vitamins C and E), superfoods (such as chlorella, blueberries, cacao and goji berries) and lots of pure water all help to keep the heart and body healthy. 

5.     Work your body. Moving your body aerobically takes you out of your head and into your feelings. Kundalini yoga or other vigorous exercise stirs things up, releases tension and prompts our innate wisdom and deeper feelings to surface. The body holds all the clues and answers we need, and the heart is its most reliable messenger—our built-in wellness ambassador, best friend and advisor. 

6.     Write it out. Writing can be a great way of exploring your deeper feelings and thinking outside the box. Try writing non-stop for five minutes every day, with no fixed theme and no editing—just whatever comes to you. Our hearts and minds hold all the insights we could ever want and spontaneous writing can help us to access them.

7.     Laugh and connect with loved ones. Everyone needs meaningful human connections for physical, emotional and mental health. Sometimes we may not even know what we feel or want until we talk to a friend or close relative. Relating to others helps us to relate to our deeper selves, and having love in our lives makes all the challenges worthwhile.  

What works for you? What process, food or supplement has helped you stay emotionally connected and on track with your life?

This article was written by Olga Sheean

Click HERE to Learn more about Olga’s work.

WEBSITE: https://olgasheean.com

The Kind of Love that Knows No Limits

As the saying goes, “You are not a human being having an occasional spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a temporary human experience.” And there is no better time of the year to affirm that for yourself than Easter.

For me, the Easter story is a dramatic demonstration and profound illustration of something that I believe is just as true for you now, as it was for Jesus over 2,000 years ago—that you are in this world, but you are not of this world.

How so? Your true essence is spirit, not body. And unlike the body, your spirit is eternal and indestructible. Your authentic self is, in a word, divine—an individual expression of that all-pervading energy that many of us call God. And you are here for one purpose, and one purpose only: to express your divine nature in the body, and in the world.

And what, exactly, is that nature? Love. Unconditional love. Divine love.

It’s the kind of love that knows no limits . . . the kind of love that forgives—no matter what. It’s the kind of love that Jesus fully expressed throughout his life, right up to the final moments of his earthly existence. And it’s the kind of love that you, and I, and all of us are called upon to express on a daily basis.

Today, and every day of the year, may you remember who you are, and why you are here. May you remember that the journey of life is not about getting somewhere. The journey of life is about being something. It’s about being the love that you are in every single moment of that journey. And it’s about experiencing the absolute joy that your love brings to the journey, and brings to each and every spirit that you encounter along the way.

Happy Easter!

This article was written by Steven Lane Taylor.

Click HERE to Learn more about his work.

WEBSITE: www.rowrowrow.com

UNHAPPY HEART IN A FIT BODY

Susan had a session with me at two in the afternoon. I was not feeling well after Destiny’s encounter. During lunch, my thoughts had been much more centered on love and kindness, and this reflection was hovering over me when Susan arrived. She’d been training with me for a couple of months.

I began chatting with her about these tender reflections. In the middle of our session, I said, “Susan, you know what I’ve begun to realize?”

 “What?” she asked.

 “That the foundation of health is love; how can we feel comfortable in our bodies if we are not in love with life? Does that make sense to you?”

** Check this Keto book to become more fit. Learn more here**

She looked at me as if she was thinking about it. Then she said, “Valeria, can you please get the mat for my next buttocks workout?”

We continued with the session as if I’d never brought up the insignificance of a fit body without a loving heart and a happy mind.

Much Love!

Valeria Teles

THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE TRUTH CANNOT HIDE

Karen was my last client for the day. We met at seven sharp, right after Steve.

Karen was an obese woman I trained twice a week. She was thirty years old, weighed 250 pounds, and was 5’ 2”. However, these numbers don’t say anything about her as a person. She was a painter who owned her own gallery in Manhattan. The serenity in her eyes and the way she smiled for no reason introduced her to me before she even told me her name.

She had been married for more than five years to someone who was in good shape. I knew this because her husband came to pick her up after our sessions. The conversation we had the first day we met left me pondering about life for days.

I asked the same question I asked every client before we began the program: What are your three main fitness goals?

Karen said she only had one goal: to enjoy the workouts.

I recall looking into her eyes as if she had not understood my question. I rephrased it, and this time I was more specific.

“I understand, Karen, and I will ensure that the exercises will be fun, but what I meant was, how many pounds do you want to lose?”

Again, she answered with a smile and said she didn’t care about the weight; she just wanted to feel good during and after the workouts. Furthermore, she said it didn’t matter if she didn’t lose any weight at all. Her peaceful eyes and joyful smile reinforced the truth of her words.

I could not believe this woman and how out of touch with reality she was. She was obese, for God’s sake! She could actually die of a heart attack at any moment, and my mind refused to believe that anyone could be at peace with a body like hers. It couldn’t be possible.

I insisted. I tried to force her to make a deal with me, and asked her to agree on losing one to two pounds per week.

Once more with the same serene, happy look on her face, she replied that I didn’t understand her. Patiently, she repeated that she was fine with her weight and that she enjoyed her work. She was a person who loved and was loved by her family and friends. Her life was a blessing, and she was grateful for what she had. There was nothing else to be added or removed to make her happier. The workouts with me were just to get her body moving while she had some fun.

I wasn’t amazed by her attitude, because I neither understood nor believed in what she was saying at the time. Nevertheless, after our encounter that day, I went home thinking about her, and I remembered a thought I’d had when I was a teenager, one that had returned many times throughout my life.

I would die young.

I believed I would not reach the age of thirty, despite being physically healthy.

Perhaps intuitively, I knew that my heart could fail at any time because of my lack of understanding of what life was really about: love and kindness.

I am convinced that Karen became my client for a reason—to teach me that to be healthy is to be loving. She trained with me for almost a year, and never lost any weight.

Karen was the healthiest client I ever had.

 

Much Love!

Valeria Teles

SIMPLE PRACTICE FOR A PEACEFUL DAY

A simple practice we can engage in to cultivate peace and harmony is to give up hope and replace it with aspiration or motivation from the heart—that is, to stop waiting to be happy when something happens. Instead, rejoice in this very moment because what you are doing now should already be the realization of what you want to happen in the future. 

Warm wishes,

Valeria  

EAT LESS, THANK MORE.

We know that the best way to lose weight is to eat less, especially of foods that are high in calories. Sugar is a well-known adversary of weight loss. But before depriving ourselves of healthy fats and sweets, it’s wise to try to understand the real reasons we eat more than necessary. I believe that wishful thinking and fear are subconsciously operating in our minds when it comes to our eating patterns. Food can become an addiction, often stemming from emotional triggers when we wish our lives to be different. Steven Pressfield, the famous writer, once wrote: “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.”

The way I see it, having the courage to realize the unlived life within is essential to our physical and psychological health. Trusting this moment for what is—this is courage. Feeling grateful for what we have can empower us to follow our hearts, thus making each moment fulfilled and joyful. The happier we are within, the less preoccupied with food we become.

The perfection of this moment embraces us with unconditional love for our spiritual wealth, for who we truly are—there is nothing lacking. 

KIND HEARTS...STRONG BODIES...PEACEFUL MINDS.... Fit for joy! 

Much, much love! 

Valeria 

JOY IN THIS MOMENT

Nothing in the past can hurt us when we have learned a lesson from it. Nothing can happen in the future that is not happening now. Our job is to recognize in the present moment the peace and joy in our hearts.

Much Love,

Valeria 

CHOOSE TO BE THRILLED!

We have the choice to change our minds when we can't change the situation we find ourselves in. Instead of perceiving a commitment to finish our work with dreadful anxiety, we can live in these moments with a sense of excitement.

Embrace the challenge of being creative, thus tapping into the unborn parts of the mind that are not habitually conditioned to perceiving external events. 

The main difference between anxiety and excitement is the energy behind these feelings: one is driven by negative thoughts (anxiety), and the other by positive ones. All of the unnecessary suffering in our lives is self-created, and so is our happiness. 

When we are able to perceive reality with an inner “eye” that can’t see itself, our hearts will have become the source of unconditioned joy. 

 

Much love!

Valeria