In today’s fast-paced digital world, we can often feel disconnected from nature. However, there is a simple and beautiful way to bring the outdoors in - indoor plants! They do more than just brighten up a room or provide a touch of greenery amidst the urban concrete jungle. Indoor plants have a myriad of health benefits too, some of which you might not even be aware of.
Here are 15 health benefits of having indoor plants, proving that bringing nature indoors is not just aesthetically pleasing, but beneficial to our health as well.
Improves Air Quality
The first and most well-known health benefit of indoor plants is their ability to improve air quality. Through the process of photosynthesis, plants absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, creating a fresh and healthy environment within your home or office.
Some plants, like the snake plant and spider plant, even work overtime by filtering harmful toxins such as benzene and formaldehyde from the air. You can easily get these plants from a reliable plant delivery company, and start reaping the benefits of cleaner air.
Reduces Stress And Anxiety
A number of studies have shown that being around plants can significantly lower feelings of stress and anxiety. The calming influence of nature, even in small indoor doses, can have a profound impact on our mental health. This is particularly helpful in office environments where stress levels can run high. A simple potted plant on your desk can act as a natural stress-buster.
Increases Productivity And Concentration
Green is a color often associated with productivity, and there’s some truth behind this. Research has shown that having indoor plants can boost your concentration, productivity, and even your creativity. The sight of plants can stimulate your mind and keep it focused, improving your work or study output.
Helps Improve Sleep
One of the most unexpected yet pleasing benefits of having indoor plants is their role in promoting better sleep. Some plants, like soothing lavender and jasmine, are renowned for their sleep-inducing properties. They achieve this through the release of calming scents that can lower heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels - all of which are key elements in facilitating sound sleep.
Notably, these types of plants produce oxygen primarily at night. While all plants produce oxygen during the day, specific varieties, like the snake plant and orchids, continue this process when the sun goes down. This increase in oxygen level at night can improve the overall air quality in the room, making it an environment conducive to restful sleep.
Boosts Humidity
Indoor plants also naturally increase humidity levels by releasing moisture vapor into the air. This can help in environments where air conditioning or heating can make the air dry, causing discomfort and dry skin. Plants like the Boston fern are excellent at boosting humidity indoors.
Promotes Healing
You might have noticed that hospitals often have indoor plants. This is because certain plants can contribute to faster recovery. The presence of plants in a room has been linked to lower blood pressure, less need for pain medication, and shorter recovery times, especially in post-surgical patients.
Improves Mental Well-Being
Aside from the physical health benefits, having indoor plants can also contribute to your mental well-being. Taking care of plants can give a sense of purpose and act as a form of therapy. Also, the feeling of satisfaction as you see your plants grow and thrive is immeasurable.
Encourages Mindfulness And Relaxation
Tending to your indoor plants can be a form of mindfulness practice. The simple act of watering, pruning, or just observing your plants can keep you anchored in the present moment, promoting relaxation and reducing stress.
Enhances Memory And Concentration
Indoor plants can also have a positive effect on your memory and attention span. Being around nature, even indoors, can help improve memory performance and attention span by 20%, according to a study by the University of Michigan.
Natural Noise Buffer
Indoor plants can serve as natural noise buffers. They can reduce background noise levels by absorbing and reflecting background sounds. This can be particularly useful if you live in a busy city or near a busy street, making your home or office a more serene and tranquil place.
Boosts Immunity
Many indoor plants have antibacterial properties. For instance, the Snake Plant, also known as Mother-In-Law’s Tongue, emits oxygen while also filtering toxins from the air, thereby improving overall air quality. This can help to boost your immune system, keeping you healthier.
Fosters A Positive Outlook
Surrounding yourself with plants can help foster a positive outlook on life. Studies have found that nature can boost our mood and make us feel more optimistic and refreshed. The simple act of nurturing a plant can also give us a sense of achievement and satisfaction, promoting a more positive mental attitude.
Enhances Cognitive Function
Indoor plants can also enhance cognitive function. A study from the Royal College of Agriculture in Cirencester, England, found that students demonstrated 70% greater attentiveness when they were taught in rooms containing plants. This is thought to be due to the plant's ability to control humidity levels and reduce CO2, improving concentration and alertness.
Aids In Faster Recovery From Illness
Exposure to greenery and nature has been shown to aid in recovery from illness and surgery.
The positive psychological effects of having plants around contribute to a general feeling of well-being, which can help speed up recovery processes. This is why many hospitals and health facilities incorporate plants and green spaces into their decor.
Creates A Healthy And Sustainable Environment
Lastly, keeping indoor plants is a sustainable way to keep your environment healthy. By filtering air and requiring minimal care, they're a great eco-friendly choice. This also offers a chance to educate children about nature, nurturing, and sustainability.
In Conclusion
The simple act of adding indoor plants to your home or workspace can have profound effects on your physical and mental well-being. They are not only a joy to look at but also hard-working, silently improving our health in numerous ways. With a multitude of benefits and endless varieties to choose from, there’s a perfect plant for everyone. Start your journey towards a healthier, greener lifestyle today by adding some indoor plants to your surroundings. You will not only have a more beautiful living space but also a healthier environment to thrive in.
When you stand by and follow your word (not promises) you build Integrity, creditability, and more important BELIEVABILITY.
Remember that your word (s) and action(s)/inaction(s), have:
1) Power- A) Internal B) External
2) Influence- A) Internal B) External
What you do or do not do/ say or do not say not only affects you, yet also the people, places and things around you. Even what you don’t see. It is the ripple effect.
AGREEMENT 2: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Everything is not about you. It is more than likely about the way you are acting, or something another person is trying to project onto you.
People react or respond to your behavior, not who you as a person.
When you take things personally you assume responsibility that is not yours. “Your Heart Is known by the path you walk.”
AGREEMENT 3: DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Making assumptions set’s yourself and others up for conflict and chaos. This is no different than an expectation.
Assumptions are nothing more that faulty perception and beliefs. That you generally act on and create conflict and chaos.
AGREEMENT 4: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is first for yourself not others, they are the honored recipients of you doing your best.
Your best will change from situation to situation, as you learn from each experience,
Your best will change over time.
By doing your best you do not give power or control of yourself to others.
AGREEMENT 5: BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN
Don’t believe yourself or others until you have listened. Most of our knowledge is based on faulty information, beliefs, and or perceptions. Question yourself, ask for more information. Even the decision you made has a little doubt (what is called second-guessing).
Reasonable doubt used in our Courts is a good way to be skeptical without closing off others or being rude.
Do not just listen to the words, but listen to the intent behind the words. Do the actions or behavior match the words and situations?
All information has a kernel of truth and insight, yet from there, anything can happen to it.
“Life (external) only intrudes, as long as we allow it”.
My first experience with workplace diseases came in my teens. I landed a job in an office staffed mostly by workers approaching retirement age, and I was told that one person wasn’t in very much anymore because of a workplace disease that made typing painful. I was astounded. Apparently, you could develop a “disease” simply by sitting at a desk and using a laptop. Everybody really is facing a behind the scenes battle that isn’t always obvious. This made me think about the other types of work-related diseases out there. I’d also heard about asbestos in the workplace, and I began to ask related questions like white lung cancer, what is it? Let’s take a look at what else I found out.
Occupational hearing loss
This type of workplace injury is the most common workplace injury reported in the United States. Any workplace can leave workers susceptible to hearing loss where the noise level exceeds 70 dB. This can include workers employed in busy restaurants or bars, factory workers, flight crew, and staff working in the entertainment industry. Noises above 120 dB can cause instant issues with hearing. Always wear the appropriate protection to protect your ears from prolonged exposure to heightened noise levels.
Allergies - irritant dermatitis
Occupational skin disease is the second most reported type of work-related injury in the workplace throughout the USA. Symptoms range from hives on the skin soon after contact with an irritant to much more serious complaints involving contact with harmful chemicals. Workers involved in the cleaning industry are generally at a higher risk, as well as workers involved in the use of pesticides in the workplace. Always wear - or request - the proper personal protective equipment required to carry out tasks safely.
Lower-back disorders
This one is huge - almost one third of all non-fatal workplace injuries (resulting in days away from work) in the United States are linked to lower back issues. Whilst many people are affected due to poor posture whilst seated at a desk in an office (essentially seated in a stress position), there is also an issue with a lack of mechanical lifting devices in workplaces where heavy lifting is common. Workers also need to be aware that they should speak to their line manager where the guidelines - in terms of time - for the use of lifting devices do not reflect the amount of time required to complete the task.
Many of us start off every new year with grand promises—whether it's to live a little healthier, or to learn a new skill. Sadly, not everybody successfully follows through as the days go by—but it’s not because these resolutions are impossible to achieve. Rather, a guide on A Life of Productivity notes that the best way to achieve your goals is to start small. While it sounds a bit counterproductive, you aren't actually downgrading your dreams—you're simply breaking them into more doable, actionable steps.
Though we might be approaching the halfway mark of the year, it doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel already. After all, it's never too late to start building a better life for yourself. With that being said, here are some simple lifestyle changes you can make for a happier you.
Pick up a new hobby
It's tempting to bury ourselves in social media, mindlessly scrolling through our feeds for hours in a day. To break this cycle and make room for something more productive, why not try your hand at a new hobby? Whether it's reading books or learning how to cook, such activities are sure to give your mind and body a refreshing reset. To this end, Tips Make introduces the 20-minute strategy, which basically entails devoting 20 minutes on something everyday for a month to make it into a habit. Remember to start small and make your steps concrete! For instance, aim to read a certain number of pages or commit to sampling a new, quick recipe everyday.
Never skip breakfast
This tip might sound a bit menial, but hear us out, as it actually can make a huge difference to your quality of life. As it turns out, they don't call breakfast "the most important meal of the day" for nothing. Research on The Ladders reveals that breakfast is a great way to spark your productivity. Right after you have your fill, your alertness and energy immediately spike up. Thus, you'd be surprised how such a small change can make the difference between a lethargic, slow day and a happy, productive one. It doesn’t always have to be an elaborate breakfast buffet—a slice of bread, your favorite fruit, and a glass of water are more than enough to start your mornings on the right foot.
Listen to your body
Most of us live very fast-paced lifestyles, but our bodies can only keep up to a certain extent. Attending social gatherings and meeting up with friends, for instance, is important for our mental and social health—but it doesn’t mean you have to say yes to every invitation and max out your energy all the time. True enough, an article on Economic Times India warns that regular weekend partying can leave you feeling fatigued, which can lead to even more problems like irregular sleep and a ruined diet.
This isn't to say that you should stop going out altogether. Instead, put more purpose into it and be sure to be responsible. If you find you’ve had too much to drink, make it a point to rest more and replenish. Lifestyle site PrettyMe recommends WrecOver pills as a way to help you curb the hangovers and headaches. Plus, the nutrients work to help detoxify your body. Of course, listening to your body applies to so many other aspects too—like keeping yourself from overworking even if you think you've got more productivity left in you.
Integrate exercise into your daily habits
Not everybody can just get up and start pushing heavy weights, especially if you're new to it. But if you do want to get fit sustainably, start by integrating it into your daily life. Simple things like standing while working, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and cleaning your house from top to bottom are great ways to sneak in that physical activity. If you think you’re ready for a real workout, our writer Michelle Schacherer finds that downloading fitness apps can guide beginners through the process.
Get the right amount of sleep
Being deprived of quality rest is no joke. Not only will you feel exhausted, but it throws off your mood, too. However, it isn't always easy to just drift off to dreamland. If you're having trouble, perhaps try making a few tweaks to your bedding situation—like changing your pillows. This Layla pillow, for instance, boasts memory foam and allows for more airflow. On the other hand, maybe all you need is a few moments before bedtime to get into the right mental state for rest. Guiding Tech suggests apps like Headspace and Calm, which feature guided meditation programs to clear your mind and set you up for relaxation. Even newbies can follow the steps, as every course can be customized to your needs and lifestyle.
All in all, changing your life for the better doesn't have to be complicated. Just like the age-old adage goes, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So start with this simple list of lifestyle changes, and you'll be well on your way to the best version of yourself that you can be.
Changes are not easy; they bring with them a lot of resistance. However, I have learned to embrace them throughout the years, but, while they happen, they make me uneasy. They bring uncertainty, which drives me crazy. Nevertheless, whenever I find myself anxious about what the future will bring, I sit down, meditate and repeat the following mantra: "I trust". And I really do trust, I know that no matter what, the universe will never take me to a worse place, quite the contrary, I know it'll be to a better one.
And so, it was. After saying good-bye to toxic relationships, toxic environment I saw my life change for the better. The new changes I made included hanging out with positive people, people who were into health and nutrition, spiritual people, people who appreciated the different cultures of the world, open-minded people, and successful people. They say that you're the average of the 5 people you hang out the most with, so, I became very careful about who I let into my life, and, most importantly, who I spent my time with.
Moreover, I changed my environment for good: I got rid of blue lights and added incandescent lightbulbs to my house, Himalayan salt lamps, and an essential oil diffuser; I added blackout curtains to my room, and started using a night mask when I went to bed to make sure my body got adequate sleep; I made sure that the products I used on my body did not include SLS, Fragrances, nor a bunch of ingredients I was unable to pronounce (this was for anything touching my body such as shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, lotions, etc.); furthermore, I got rid of so much clutter in my living spaces: I kissed good-bye a lot of things I didn't use or old things which were only taking up room and not allowing new things to come.
When it comes to my diet, I went 100% organic and gluten-free, and reduced to almost 0 my sugar and vegetable oil consumption. Unfortunately, some foods will include these ingredients which makes it really hard to eliminate them from your diet. Some food examples where these ingredients lurk include: salad dressings, chocolate nut milks, bread, etc.
At the end, a major makeover was needed. And I took the same principles I used in fitness, diet and spiritualism to my professional life. I realized that drastic, overnight changes were destructive and that milestones needed to be achieved before reaching the big goals. I learned to give the best of myself that I could to every job I was doing, to care for it and to find answers whenever I didn't have them. I just had in place a system that worked in one aspect of my life and that I could replicate in other aspects of my life.
Life was good, life is good and I wake up excited every day excited, wondering what the next thing around the corner will be, what life will bring my way and how I will interpret it. I learned that I cannot change reality, so, I have to accept it. However, one thing I can change: the perspective or lens through which I see reality. That has helped me stay positive no matter how bad the outcome may be. If something's going to be bad, I try to find the silver lining in the bad thing. It works like a charm, so I invite you to try doing the same and see how the sad veil lifts up! :)
“All you need is love,” sang the Beatles many decades ago. It’s a song still sung today. And for good reason. The tune is catchy, and the message is hopeful: “There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.”
Were it that simple. Love, after all, is our greatest joy. But it can also be complex and complicated. Loving someone “for better or worse, in sickness and in health,” means taking the good with the bad. And that’s not always easy.
Many—if not most—of us will have to take care of the person we love during an illness. It might be for a day, a week or even longer. Some may find it a daunting challenge. For me, it’s a call to action.
Over the past two and a half decades, my husband has been hospitalized many times. Often, it’s involved life-threatening illness with long periods of hospitalization and recuperation. In times like that, I do everything in my power to help him get better. Love is the starting point for advocacy.
Along the way, I have learned a lot about the hospital setting and the very real impact that families can have in making sure their loved ones get the best care. Hospitals are bureaucratic and scary places. For patients and their families, it can feel like being tourists lost in a strange land, not knowing the customs, the language or the culture.
Patients are weak and flat on their backs. They are usually in no position to advocate for themselves. Doctors are busy, rushing from one patient to the next; nurses are stretched, trying to meet the many needs of their patients.
Families can make a difference. They can represent the patient’s wishes and needs when their loved one is unable to speak for him or herself. Knowing the patient better than anyone else in the hospital counts for a lot when navigating the impersonal environment of a hospital setting. Families—working as members of the care team—can also connect the dots because doctors, quite honestly, don’t always communicate well with one another.
Families can fill in the blanks when the sick patient doesn’t fully comprehend everything being said or is not able to remember it later. They also can bring information, perspective and insight that patients may forget or are uncomfortable sharing themselves.
And when the patient goes home, continued care must involve the family to ensure instructions are followed regarding medication, doctor visits, exercise, restrictions, and more.
Much is written about patient-centered medicine. But research shows that patient and family-centered medicine provides the best clinical outcomes, increases patient satisfaction, lowers costs, reduces risks of readmission and can even save lives.
Families can and do make a real difference. They start with love and build from there. There’s one more line from the Beatle’s song that applies here: [There’s] … “no one you can save that can't be saved.”
The one you help save just may be the one you love most.
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Bonnie Friedman is author of Hospital Warrior: How to Get the Best Care for Your Loved One and host of the podcast Hospital Warrior: Advocates and Experts on the Whole Care Network.
We know that if we practice something often enough that perfection is inevitable. We know this because science has tested this hypothesis an infinite amount of times throughout the ages. Frequent repetition increases our familiarity, familiarity increases efficiencies, efficiencies reinforce familiarity, and so on.
Since we can predict certain outcomes and these outcomes are measurable, we can reasonably approach any activity or exercise (physical or otherwise) to guarantee the best outcome. Reasonable in a way that maximizes our abilities thereby maximizing our outcomes.
Practice is simply recreating a pattern over-and-over, again. It trains the nervous system to become exceedingly familiar with the movement-related aspects of physical performance. And, it trains the brain to become exceedingly familiar with reasoning & learning-related tasks. It simply doesn’t matter what the activity is, it is simply just a matter of your level of acquaintance. Repeat something often enough, and eventually you’ll elicit “muscle memory” (I really don’t like using that term).
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Potential > Memory
I don’t like using that term because a muscle cannot remember anything, period. This “memory” - or familiar movement pattern – occurs when the repetition induces certain efficiencies to develop which allow for the brain to do something else while the body is executing a certain string of commands that have already been programmed and tested. We perfect an activity by practicing it so much that when the initiative spark fires in the brain it sets off a harmonious cascade of precise and predictable nerve impulses. These impulses fire sequences of muscle contractions to cause precise movements. It would be far more accurate to call this phenomenon "muscle-potential", though the latter iteration doesn’t quite sound so appealing.
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Efficiency Over All
Regarding movement, the human body wants to do one thing, and one thing only. It wants to preserve its valuable resources. Economy – same activity, less energy. Same result, fewer resources. Conservation is the only motivation – do something often enough and it will take less time, less thought, and eventually less work.
Your body's primary motivation when performing any task boils down to just one thing – economy - Same activity, less energy. Same outcome, fewer resources. Conservation is key. Get more familiar with doing something and it'll take less time, less thought, and less work.
We've all experienced this in some form or another: whether with a Yo-yo, Rubix Cube, walking to jogging to running (did you know that you burn about the same number of calories WALKING one mile as you do RUNNING one mile? It’s true).
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We occupy this highly specialized, highly adaptive machine whose primary objective is preservation - resource-preservation. To put simply, its objective is to use the minimum resources needed to complete a task, and not a single iota more. This is true from both a metabolic standpoint as well as a mechanical one.
For many people, they’ve been trying to lose weight for what seems like an eternity but because this machine opts for efficiency – the harder you work, the better you get at working hard – AND the fewer resources you’ll use to accomplish the same task. Unless of course, you force the machine to continually adapt. How do you do this? Well, you're going to have to work harder than you did yesterday, every single day.
One Layer Deeper
This neural reprogramming is the first (and least demanding) attempt to make whatever action that you're practicing economical enough to preserve your body's precious and hard-earned resources.
Generally speaking, it's only after the neural improvements begin to maximize that the body begins to explore other avenues to improve the efficiencies of exercise.
Sometimes in order to fix a bigger problem, we need to start by fixing ourselves. And that's where I had to start to release all the mental chains I had that prevented me from being myself. These included persons and ideas that kept me from reaching my highest potential.
The first thing I had to do was love myself. I know, you can ask anyone if they love themselves and they will say "yes", but, once they start digging deeper, they realize that they haven't really been loving themselves. In the same way that healing and personal growth require introspection and care, building a business aligned with your spiritual journey calls for choosing partners that resonate with your values. Looking into Zenbusiness reviews can offer insights into a supportive, efficient service to help manifest your vision into reality.
Someone who loves themselves would never allow anyone else to do something harmful to them. One important thing that helped me prevent this was when I started saying "no". It was not easy, but it has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. What I realized after I started saying "no", was that I was saying "yes" to something I liked and that made me feel fine.
Another thing I did was start a meditation practice that I religiously continue to this day. Every morning, you'll find me taking at least 5 minutes to do conscious breathing, to be grateful, or to forgive. The 2 things that have benefitted me the most have been gratitude and forgiveness. Through gratitude, I have been able to really appreciate the small things in life: a warm cup of coffee, a goat milk yogurt (I mean, how often do you find that while traveling?!), people who love and support me for who I am, the food on my table, having a roof over my head, my health... Ultimately, being thankful for the magic and perfection of life on earth as a whole. Through forgiveness, instead, I learned to forgive myself and everything I've done wrongly. To forgive my mind always judging me and always criticizing every move I make or the body I have. I learned to forgive my parents for the way they reacted to my weight issues while I was a kid since their frustration didn't allow them to see the damage they were doing to me; I forgave anyone who had hurt me out of their own pain, because it was not them doing something bad to me on purpose, it was their own ignorance and suffering that made them act like that. Forgiveness is a selfish act. We forgive to free ourselves from the emotional burden, not to make someone else happy. So, if you haven't tried it out yet, now's the time to start!
Meditation and spiritualism, besides reinforcing the body-mind connection, helped me connect better to the world. Thanks to that, I no longer see things as independent, I see them as part of an interdependent system. This just became more evident after my mom passed away. An event like this transforms you either for your best or worse. But, in my case, it helped me learn that everything in life is energy: yourself, what you see, what you can't see, and your thoughts. Matter doesn't disappear, it just transforms. And, that's why, even if I miss my mom every day, I know that she's everywhere: In the air I breathe, the smiling child running in the garden, the tree I touch, etc.
Knowing how the type of energy I surround myself with and the one I vibrate on are important for my overall life, I decided to change my environment, and this included my relationships. It was not easy since I had to cut ties with many people and make drastic changes, but the results were astonishing...
Fake it ‘til you make it! That adage of the 1970’s may seem like a cliché now, a silly relic of a bygone era. But in reality, we fake it regularly when we lack full confidence but still manage to push ourselves to rise to an occasion—a job interview, negotiating the price for a new car or holding our ground in an important discussion.
Many people find it intimidating to talk to doctors. They get tongue-tied, afraid to ask questions or worry they’ll say the wrong thing. Research bears out the phenomenon. One study compared the frightened behavior of patients to that of hostages bargaining for release.
Whether you are the patient or it’s someone you love, getting good medical care shouldn’t sink to that level. That means speaking up even when you feel nervous. Doctors often rush from one patient to the next; some are gentle in their dealings, but others seem brusque and impatient. Patients and families can be left feeling too demeaned to even ask a question before the doctor is out the door.
That’s when it’s time to fake it. But you must be prepared. Patient advocacy requires many things – time, attention and perseverance to start. Diplomacy and respect are other essential ingredients. Effective advocacy also requires a strong dose of chutzpah, that wonderful Yiddish word blending personal guts and gumption.
I have been advocating for my husband for more than a quarter-century through multiple hospitalizations and illnesses. One thing I have learned is that my role is as important as the doctors and nurses in ensuring he gets the best medical care. Acting on that knowledge means working with medical professionals as an equal, trusting my instincts and speaking up when I have questions or think something is wrong.
One of the most important jobs of the advocate is connecting the dots – asking the right questions, paying attention to details and making sure that the entire medical team is on the same page. Taking up the charge requires confidence. That can start with basic research to better understand the patient’s condition and be poised to ask smart questions.
Keeping good notes and staying organized helps the advocate pay attention to details and follow up on questions or concerns. Doctors don’t always communicate well with one another, and nurses are sometimes left out of the loop. Issues can fall between the cracks, and misunderstandings can affect patient care. A well-informed advocate can help keep communication flowing.
Advocates who are strong, persistent and professional get a better response from doctors too. When you act with diplomacy and respect, you are more likely to receive those same courtesies in return.
When you put it all together – education, organization and perseverance – confidence in your role as an advocate can grow. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Remember, you know the patient better than anyone else in the hospital. That counts for a lot in a setting that can seem bureaucratic and impersonal.
Draw upon your strengths, life experiences, street smarts and common sense. You can apply that sense of assurance to your advocacy role.
Prepare questions in advance; practice making your case in front of a mirror. If need be, assume you are an actor taking on a role. Remember that even a shaky start is better than no start at all. Before you know it, you won’t have to fake it at all.
Bonnie Friedman is the author of Hospital Warrior: How to Get the Best Care for Your Loved One and host of the podcast Hospital Warrior: Advocates and Experts on the Whole Care Network.
Having high emotional granularity is a vital tool for reducing emotional eating. The term was coined by Northeastern University Psychology Professor Lisa Feldman Barrett shortly after the turn of the century and refers to the ability to recognize, identify and express a full range of emotions. People with high emotional granularity have “finely tuned feelings.” They value emotions and are in touch with them most of the time. Moreover, they don’t lump all emotions together, but feel and can describe their nuances. Upset might be parsed as frightened, dismayed or exasperated. Angry might be viewed as frustrated, helpless or fearful.
Says Barrett, “Emotional granularity isn’t just about having a rich vocabulary; it’s about experiencing the world, and yourself, more precisely. This can make a difference in your life. In fact, there is growing scientific evidence that precisely tailored emotional experiences are good for you, even if those experiences are negative.” (“Are You in Despair? That’s Good,” The NY Times, 6/3/16, http://clbb.mgh.harvard.edu/are-you-in-despair-thats-good/#more-7340, accessed 1/29/19).
“According to a collection of studies, finely grained, unpleasant feelings allow people to be more agile at regulating their emotions, less likely to drink excessively when stressed and less likely to retaliate aggressively against someone who has hurt them…Perhaps surprisingly, the benefits of high emotional granularity are not only psychological. People who achieve it are also likely to have longer, healthier lives. They go to the doctor and use medication less frequently, and spend fewer days hospitalized for illness. Cancer patients, for example, have lower levels of harmful inflammation when they more frequently categorize, label and understand their emotions.”
There’s evidence that emotional granularity improves mental health. Higher emotional granularity translates to better coping skills and, therefore, fewer maladaptive behaviors such as addictions. Relationships also improve when people are attuned to emotions.
How emotionally granular are you? Do you have difficulty identifying your feelings? Do you ignore them? Lump them together? Therapy can help because it provides a safe place to learn about and discuss emotions. By becoming more tuned in to them, you’ll up your emotional intelligence and do less mindless or binge eating.
Putting Emotions To Work To Overcome Your Eating Disorder
Whether you’re just beginning to address your under- or overeating problems or have been making steady progress over years or decades, there’s one area that you will have to come to terms with sooner or later to achieve full recovery. To achieve a satisfying, nourishing, happy, and successful life without food problems, you will have to learn how put your emotions to work for you. This means not dancing around them by eating or calorie counting, obsessing about what you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t eat, or focusing on whether the numbers on the scale are moving up or down.
For many disordered eaters, identifying and sitting with feelings is the last hurdle to becoming a “normal” eater. Most are willing and often eager to practice new food- and weight-related behaviors, such as making satisfying food choices, eating mindfully, taking larger or smaller bites, throwing out the scale, eating without distractions, taking deep breaths after each mouthful, and staying connected to the body’s pleasure center during the eating process. But most people with eating problems—actually, most people, period—have difficulty getting comfortable with feelings. It’s important for you to recognize that disordered eaters are far from the only ones who have difficulty handling emotions. To greater or lesser extent, everyone does.
Unfortunately, every time you use food (move toward or away from it) instead of feeling an authentic emotion, you miss an opportunity to discover something about what’s happening in your internal world. Think of your emotions as equivalent to your senses. The latter alert us to our reaction to our environment—thumbs up or thumbs down—through touch, smell, sight, hearing, and taste. Our feelings have a similar function as they provide us with information about our reaction to people and situations. The function of both our senses and our emotions is to move us toward pleasure and away from pain. Emotions help us decide what is self-threatening—smelling smoke and seeing flames across the room—and what is self-enhancing—sensory delight derived from gazing out over the ocean as gulls soar overhead and the sun dips into the sea.
If you’re like most people, you don’t realize the value and purpose of emotions and assume they’re not important, or worse, that uncomfortable feelings should be avoided at all cost. But, I bet you’d never think of shutting off your senses and wandering through the world without them. Well, that’s exactly what you do every time you ignore or minimize a feeling.
What if emotions aren’t the demons you’ve made them out to be? What if emotions are your teachers and your care-takers? What if they’re not trash but treasures?
One of the reasons that emotions get a bad rap is that they can feel truly awful. We may believe that if something doesn’t feel good, it can’t be good, but this is far from the truth. There are lots of painful cures to what ails us that we tolerate because we know they are necessary and promote ultimate health and well-being—injections, dental fillings and implants, physical therapy, and surgery, to name a few. No one says, gee, terrific, I’m going to have my body sliced open today and then I’ll be in pain for weeks on end recovering. However, inspite of the fact that it’s often a nasty business, people schedule surgery because they know they’ll feel better in the long run.
The same is true of emotions. Just because they hurt or make you feel badly does not mean they are bad. Like musical notes and colors (and foods too!), there are no good or bad emotions. They’re what’s called value neutral. Think of them as messengers, giving you vital information about what’s happening within your internal landscape—you’re disappointed, ashamed, overwhelmed, overjoyed, furious, grief-stricken, content, shocked, revolted, elated, confused, lonely, excited, helpless. True, some of these feelings are excruciating and hard to bear, but they do pass and people survive them every day and have since the beginning of human existence. Half the battle is allowing yourself to be with your feelings without making judgments about them or the kind of person you are for having them. It’s a great deal easier to acknowledge, identify, experience, explore, and deal with feelings without all the associated criticisms you have of them or of yourself.
Recovering from an eating disorder means blossoming into a full, emotionally mature person. For that to happen, you must (yes, must) learn to experience all of your feelings; you can’t pick and choose. Becoming emotionally healthy is an all or nothing proposition, but one you can learn over time. If you believe you can’t bear your feelings alone, find a therapist who can guide you through them. Share your feelings with friends, start a journal, hug yourself, cry, holler til you’re hoarse, beat your pillow, sob til you’re exhausted.
At some point in recovery, you have to choose between food and feeling. You already know where your food obsession will lead you, so why not give feelings a try?
“The aim of trauma treatment is to update memories that have been encoded to produce fear, shame and other painful emotions in response to an event with new interpretations or meanings so that the memories become non-threatening.”
Not only does Courtney Armstrong have a deep understanding of the nature of trauma and treating its debilitating effects, she has the ability to explain complex theory in language that readers can understand. This winning combo makes much of the information in Rethinking Trauma Treatment, a book written for clinicians, worthwhile for trauma survivors as well as for the people in their lives who are trying to support and care for them.
The book is divided into three sections: developing the therapeutic alliance, transforming traumatic memories, and post-traumatic growth. Armstrong’s liberal use of case histories and client anecdotes illustrates what happens intrapsychically and interpersonally to people who have experienced trauma and are trying to move beyond its lingering, painful memories. Describing how therapists need to create safe havens in their sessions with trauma survivors, she underscores how attachment disorders leave them anxious, insecure, reactive and mistrustful of others, all of which make developing rapport and sustaining connection a challenge.
She goes on to present exercises that ground and soothe clients and are necessary not only for them to tolerate the therapist’s exploration of their traumatic memories, but for them to become less reactive in their lives. The range of Armstrong’s interventions is impressive, and her clinical examples show the reader what approaches work and how attunement is key to providing exactly what each client needs for healing. This process, similar to observing master therapists interview clients, will teach novice clinicians a great deal about how to approach and relate to all, not just traumatized, clients by paying attention to Armstrong’s nuanced and enlightened therapeutic responses.
Section two explains what happens to the brain and body when someone experiences trauma. Armstrong defines trauma as “a disorder of memory,” a definition which is key to understanding how she works with it. Early on in the book, she describes how the brain reacts to “emotionally stressful encounters” through the amygdala encoding “all the sensory information associated with the event into what is called an implicit memory . . . a network of neurons that contains the felt, experiential part of memory.” She stresses that implicit memory is far different from explicit or didactic memory which records the factual details of events.
The aim of trauma treatment is to update memories that have been encoded to produce fear, shame and other painful emotions in response to an event with new interpretations or meanings so that the memories become non-threatening. Armstrong uses the example of a “virus or software program with a bug that gets downloaded to a computer.” Just as the computer needs to be recoded when there are errors, so do our brains. Once memory updates are completed through a five-step protocol contained in Armstrong’s acronym RECON, the painful emotions experienced in an event lose their toxicity.
Section two also addresses specific types of trauma: sexual and combat, abuse from childhood, and traumatic grief and loss. Again, Armstrong uses an abundance of examples to illustrate the theory behind memory reconsolidation, so that what she is doing therapeutically, which may feel like magic to the transformed client, is grounded in intentional interventions that are tailored to resolving each type of trauma.
The final section of the book is devoted to clients’ improved mental health and to what therapists must do to hold onto their own. Most readers will be familiar with the term PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but many may not know what Post-Traumatic Growth is: the healthy, positive changes that occur in trauma survivors’ lives down the road. This transformation has been studied and validated by scientific research—many people who had horrific experiences that they thought would scar them for life, instead, have gone on to achieve five specific positive changes: “greater sense of personal strength, openness to new possibilities, greater appreciation for life, spiritual development, and enhanced relationships.”
Additionally, Armstrong cautions therapists who work frequently and intensively with trauma survivors to watch out for common hazards that might arise and impact their own mental health. She describes therapists’ risk for compassion fatigue or numbing out, loss of empathy for trauma clients, and emotional burnout from the stress of their work. Citing examples of each, she encourages therapists to take care of themselves by finding emotional balance in their lives.
Therapists who are new to the complexities of trauma resolution will be grateful for Armstrong’s inclusion of learning tools such as diagrams, client worksheets, and verbatim therapist-client dialogues. Clinicians who already use the book’s cutting-edge memory reconsolidation approach will deepen their knowledge of its principles and find myriad practices and applications to make certain that trauma survivors are well served.
As 2017 begins we all hear the usual talk of New Year’s Resolutions, the desire to make improvements in one’s life, all of which is perfectly fine of course. If you are genuinely unhappy with a certain aspect (or aspects) of your life, then by all means it’s appropriate to take steps to make changes that would lead to more satisfying results. With that said, there is a hazard to being so focused on achieving something down the road that we fail to live our lives as fully we can within the context of the only time that really matters – NOW. And, the more we remain centered on getting someplace the greater the likelihood that we fail to truly appreciate all the good things we already have in our lives.
Yes, we’ve all heard it, “be grateful,” but how many of us actually take the time to acknowledge all of our blessings on a daily basis? The answer is probably not very many. What makes it even more challenging is a media (news & advertising both) that constantly focuses on “what’s missing” in life, selling the future all the time to keep the wheels of economic growth rolling forward. From my own life experience I can attest to spending way too much time thinking that getting someplace else was the key to happiness as opposed to finding the happiness within any given moment.
Alas, I literally spent decades in that mindset and missed out on so much of life. Now at the ripe old age of 60 I can relate even more directly to what Pink Floyd meant when they wrote this line in their hit song “Time”:
“And then one day you’ll find 10 years have got behind you.”
Yes, indeed, if one lives life always looking forward I can speak from personal experience that an entire decade (or more) can just fly by without you even being aware of it, and in the process much of day to day life winds up being squandered.
For anyone reading this post who may be in their 20s, 30s and even 40s, it’s possible that you might consider that the age of 60 is “old,” and it’s likely that you may not even be able to relate to being such a lofty age. I certainly felt that way when living in those age groups, but I can assure you of this, if you are fortunate enough to make it to that age you will realize firsthand that while your body has aged the same basic essence that was “you” at 20, 30, and 40 remains the same. Sure, you would have evolved as a person and hopefully changed for the better, but all those versions of you still exist within the context of your mind. And you will likely find yourself wondering someday, “Where in the heck did all that time go?”
For this reason, it’s so important each day to have a healthy respect for life itself and not sleepwalk through it, looking forward to some future event or circumstances to finally bring the happiness that always seems to be just around the corner. Life is NOW, period. So live it fully, graciously accept the good and the bad each day and make your best effort to remind yourself to remain conscious moment-to-moment of what you are doing and thinking throughout the day. In everything you do give all of your focus to what is happening in that moment, like savoring every sip of your favorite beverage and every bite of the foods you love. Do your very best not to get distracted by things that “in the great design of life are so pitifully small” as the musical artist Todd Rundgren once wrote.
In closing, consider this thought-provoking passage from the late Fr. Anthony DeMello’s book Awareness:
“Visit a graveyard. It’s an enormously purifying and beautiful experience. You look at this name and you say, “Gee, he lived so many years ago, two centuries ago; he must have had all the problems that I have, must have had lots of sleepless nights.” How crazy, we live for such a short time. An Italian poet said, “We live in a flash of light; evening comes, and it’s night forever.” It’s only a flash and we waste it. We waste it with our anxiety, our worries, our concerns, our burdens.”
How many times have you attended a networking event and the opening question from someone you just met is, “So, what do you do?”
Of course you have. And I bet you’ve asked the same question in return. Not that there’s anything wrong with the question, but if you pause and think about it for a moment, it’s rather impersonal.
But then again, so are we.
Western culture has trained us to demonstrate a strong work ethic. And in our devotion to production, we’ve been taught to place more emphasis on the profession rather than the person. We identify ourselves by what we do more than who we are.
Many of us have also been conditioned to separate work and life, but this separation can wreak havoc on our personalities. Namely, we end up having to manage two different personas—the “work me” and the “personal me.”
But in other parts of the globe, the perspective is different.
When I lived and worked in Bangalore, my fellow coworkers were more interested in getting to know me (as a person) before we started working together. My team understood that work is an extension of who we are—not the other way around. In India, they believed that people come before process.
When we equate our personal identity with only what we are doing, we miss out on the other half of the equation: who we are being. Throughout our lifetime, what we “do” is dynamic and changing, but who we “be” remains consistent. In fact, our human being is always growing, learning, and evolving.
Our lives have momentum, and so do our careers. So when we have a shift in employment—when a large part of what we are doing changes—the effects ripple into all the other areas of our life.
Whether it’s sudden career transition like a layoff, or planned transition such as retirement or building a new business, a shift in career is one of the largest stressors we can experience in our lifetime. And since we identify ourselves so significantly by what we do, having our career foundation shift can feel like a rug is being pulled out from under us.
Working as a career transition coach, leading The White Box Club™, and having been through several job transitions myself, I’ve experienced firsthand the rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions that career changes bring. If we can know our true selves better—our human beings—then we can stand more resilient and adaptable during these major life events.
Here are some useful tips to help maintain your identity through a career shift or any major life transition:
Keep up with yourself. Life is in constant change and so are we. Keeping up with yourself is honoring your life changes—both on the inside and outside of you—and choosing to deliberately grow. Developing new interests and learning new skills will also keep us engaged in our own personal and professional progress, resulting in having a larger investment in ourselves.
Know your strengths; know yourself. We all have strengths that are unique to us—some are obvious, and some are not. When we identify our strengths by using tools such as CliftonStrengths, we can learn to recognize and appreciate our gifts. In return, the value of knowing our natural talents can bring us increased productivity, confidence, and clarity of purpose.
Seek alignment in your work and relationships. Alignment means that we feel connected and engaged in our work and the people we work with, and this feeling is reflected back to us through the quality of those experiences. When we consciously seek alignment with others, we look for the win-win solution.
Develop a high tolerance for uncertainty. If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that life is uncertain. There will always be changes and unexpected events. If we can remain flexible in times of stress, we can stay connected to our natural creativity. Since none of us really know what tomorrow will bring, we can choose to relax and let go of the need to know.
You are supposed to be unique. Like our strengths, each of us has unique talents and gifts to bring to the world. Appreciate your differences—they’re what make you valuable and wonderful just the way you are. Celebrate your individuality! And know that there will always be new opportunities and relationships waiting for you to discover them.
So the next time you meet someone new, try “Tell me more about yourself,” or “What are you excited about?” instead of the obligatory “What do you do?” See how the conversation changes about their being more than doing.
Isn’t it about time?
This article was written by Michael Thomas Sunnarborg
On the other hand, maybe it's because she's my sister that she's my best friend. We often take liberties with family that we might not take with friends, which can be good or bad, depending on how we relate and how self-aware we are. This got me thinking about what, exactly, those differences might be and whether I might benefit from embodying more of them with my other friends.
First, though, I had to ask myself what criteria would define a good, healthy friendship, and I discovered some interesting things. Just as friendship is about nurturing and supporting growth, starting a business requires similar care in choosing the right partners for its formation. For those embarking on this journey, exploring top LLC companies can ensure you're entrusting your dream to capable hands, cementing the foundation of your venture with trust and expertise.
For me, a close friendship—like any close relationship—involves emotional honesty, trust, mutual support, active listening, giving and receiving, respect, acceptance, kindred values, a heartfelt connection, and a sense of humor. It also requires healthy boundaries and self-responsibility, so that we know the difference between 'sharing' and 'dumping', and so that we take ownership of our actions and reactions, rather than complaining or constantly reiterating some old, worn-out story that we don't attempt to change. And perhaps the most valuable quality of all is knowing that we can trust our friends to tell us the truth about ourselves, even if it hurts or we won't necessarily like it.
So far, so good. But what happens if you don't have a super-sister-friend and you don't feel you have the right to expect or express those qualities? While solid friendships are a positive, nourishing part of life at any time, it's when we're in crisis that we truly need our friends—and that our friends get to experience the more vulnerable, authentic, daring parts of us. This is where we get to discover who our friends really are, and what we ourselves are made of. This is where the real 'juice' is—the stuff of life that pushes us beyond the superficial layers of self, with all its pain, sadness and soul-searching.
What stops us from going deeper?
We often refrain from sharing our biggest wounds or problems with our friends, for several reasons:
1) We may think we're protecting them by not burdening them with our problems when, in reality, we're withholding a part of ourselves that we're afraid to share because we feel ashamed or insecure.
2) We may not realize that sharing our deepest wounds is what creates the deepest intimacy and connection, while also touching others or opening their hearts in some profound way.
3) We may think our problems are not important enough or that we're not worthy of being heard.
4) We may feel uncomfortable asking for support if we've been taught that other people's needs are more important than our own.
Yet sharing those deeper parts of ourselves enables us to heal, while opening us up to positive input, comfort and support. Sharing our feelings helps us to process them and, often, it's only in articulating what we feel that we gain an understanding of what we want or of what's really going on. The parts that we tend to hold back are usually those parts that hold the greatest emotional 'charge'—and thus the greatest potential for a breakthrough. Sharing our shame, hurt, guilt or despair lessens its power over us and demonstrates our innate worthiness and lovability. Sharing it means we give ourselves permission to be authentic and vulnerable, while acknowledging that our 'stuff' has nothing to do with who we truly are—and everything to do with who we can become, once we let it go.
It's only by sharing all the tough stuff—the crises, break-ups, depression, funks, bad news and bad hair days—that we create depth and meaning in our relationships. Sharing is our invitation to others to be a part of what matters to us. And it's the friends with whom we share the tough stuff that we will rush to tell about the good stuff, as soon as it happens. Because they, more than anyone else, will understand how good that good stuff feels, knowing all the challenges we've been through. And we will have the joy of sharing our more powerful side with them, knowing that they've also seen us at our worst.
Are you living in 'me-ville'?
If there's one thing I've learned, in my years of being a coach and sharing in the challenges of my many courageous clients, it's that friendships—and relationships—are really all that matter. This is what makes life worthwhile and inspires us to be all that we can be. Sharing all of who we are is how we get to discover what we're capable of and how empowering that can also be for others. Withholding ourselves, on the other hand, can create an unhealthy inward focus that keeps us imprisoned in our own minds. It can block the insights that hold the key to our emotional freedom; it can magnify our problems; it can promote catastrophic thinking; and it can create the perception that nobody understands us, that we are all alone, and that it's all about me, me, me.
Daring to share our deepest, most powerful selves builds the kind of friendship that sets us free—the kind of friendship that will deliver us from me-ville.
Coming to terms with loss is something nobody can prepare for. Although the inevitable notion of death and subsequent grief is a part of life that we all must face sooner rather than later, knowing what to do when it happens is an altogether more perplexing experience.
Unfortunately, as you navigate your way through your grief, so too do the friends and family members who seek to comfort you. It can be a challenging time for all involved. I was 10-years-old when I experienced my first loss. My grandfather suffered from a stroke. While his death was hard for the whole family, it was especially difficult for my grandmother. Rallying around her in support, her reaction and eventual healing taught me everything I know about grief.
Here are five things I learned to be true when helping my grandmother overcome her loss.
Your Support May Not Be Welcome
My grandmother was a proud woman, and after being thrust into the most lonely and harrowing situations of her life, this aspect of her personality was not about to change. Although her and my grandfather had been together for many years, she was still fiercely independent. So, when it came to having people offer to help her, she was resistant.
My parents just didn’t understand her standpoint, but it was when they backed off and respected my grandma’s wishes that things actually started to change. She was more open to accepting the support they less frequently offered and she eventually began to feel comfortable to ask too.
Grief Changes People
Although her steely independence and bravery remained throughout her grieving process, my grandma did change during that time in a number of ways. Her interest family, her friends and the things she used to love wavered. Her calm and sweet voice became one of impatience and frustrated.
As a family member trying to support a grieving loved one, the changes you see in their personality can be a point of personal anguish. It’s so important to understand that major changes in someone’s life may cause them to act differently.
You Can’t Force People
Forcing those who are experiencing grief to do what you consider the right thing is definitely not a good way to support them. You may feel an obligation to get your loved one ‘out there’ but in reality, your ‘helpful’ encouragement can feel like constant beratement.
My grandmother wouldn’t have my grandfather’s cremation urn in the house for months, but my father continually set it on her mantle. He thought he was helping her, but he wasn’t. Eventually, she did have his urn in the house, and it had pride of place, but she needed to be the one to make the decision.
Consistent Encouragement Is Key
While forcing your loved one to do things they don’t want to do isn’t advised, consistent encouragement is the key to helping them. As a child, I was hyper-sensitive to my grandmother’s feelings. Obviously, I was young and couldn’t offer her much, I did consistently ask her to walk in the park with me. Although at first, she didn’t want to go, I never stopped asking. Eventually, she agreed.
Things Will Get Better
We all know that you don’t get over grief, you just get through it. No matter how hard it is to think about at the time, things will always get better. My grandma never forgot my grandfather. She never stopped loving him or thinking about him. She never got over his loss. But she was much more capable of dealing with her grief over time. She began to look back positively on their time together rather than with resentment that he was gone.
Support Simplified
My grandmother loved a quote from Maya Angelou, that read, ‘try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud’ and to this day, it really sums up my attitude towards supporting a loved one experiencing grief. Support is all about being there, understanding that you are not the priority and creating an awareness for your loved one that you will be there, no matter what, no matter when, no matter how.
Rose Foster is a writer from England with a passion for sharing her personal stories in an effort to give practical advice to those in similar situations. Her main passion is business and marketing, and she brings a unique, more personal approach to the typical tutorial-style offering in this area.
