GRIEF AS A NORMAL PART OF LIFE

Coping with any loss may be one of the hardest challenges we face in life.  It is a fact of life whether we admit or not.  Let us be honest it scares us. When we lose a spouse, sibling, parent, friend, a favorite item, a house or anything that you think is of a value, that grief can be particularly intense.  Loss is understood as a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock, confusion, anxiety and fear, leading to prolonged periods of sadness, the blues or gray days, loss of interests, irritability, withdrawal The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process in order to overcome the feelings and emotions so to embrace the time you had with your loved one.

Everyone reacts to loss differently and employs various personal coping skills for grief and loss. An example is: Henry, a close friend of my father’s. I met him when my father asked for help with a memorial. It was for Henry’s Rose who had passed away from metastasized cancer. My Father was a Chaplain, Henry ask him to do the memorial.  Well Henry always felt depressed, from the loss of his wife. So he change from reading daily to her, to reading to the resident of the care center daily and he continued that until he passed away himself. When we talked together at my dd’s home, he told me that going up to the center, help him living and close to his wife. Yes, he was lonely, yet this made his life have meaning and he felt it honored his wife’s love and memory. Did he grieve, yes daily. Thought it also gave him strength.     

People and families do recover from loss in their own way through the passage of time when they have positive social/family/employments supports and healthy habits. It can take months or years to accept a/the loss. There is no “normal” time period for someone to grieve or to feel the sense of loss. Don’t expect to just pass through any phases of grief or in a linear way. Many people can be all over the map. It is ok it is normal. It will take some time and thought before you are able to look back on the and loss.

Human beings are naturally resilient, we have the capability to endure what we do not believe we can.   People do continue on with our own lives yet there are some that hold on so tight and choose not to heal and grow. There are some people that struggle so much with grief and loss for long periods of time and feel unable to carry out their daily activities. People that suffer severe grief and loss or complicated grief could benefit from further intervention from family, co-workers, peers, or a professional counselor and grief support groups.  We all need support and assistance through this time. It is a fact that we cannot do it alone.

Moving On With Life

Many have talked about ”Mourning”, some cultures have specific times for “Mourning” because it is understood that people do better when they can move on even with having feeling of the grief and loss.  During this time there can also be a renewed sense of meaning to life that offers purpose and direction to life.

Grieving individuals may find it helpful to use some of the following strategies to help them process and come to terms with loss. The following is an incomplete list of ways to care for yourself when you have Grief and loss. It is not an exhaustive list and not everyone will experience grief and loss in the same way.       

1)  Talk about the death of your loved one with friends or colleagues in order to help you understand what happened and remember your friend or family member.

2)  Avoidance can lead to isolation and will disrupt the healing process with your support systems.

3)  Accept your feelings. You may experience a wide range of emotions from sadness, anger or even exhaustion.

4)  All of these feelings are normal and it’s important to recognize when you are feeling this way.

5)  If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by these emotions, ask for help a friend, a coworker, use the Employee Assistance Program at work (confidential) a community support group.

6)  Take care of yourself and your family. Eating healthy foods, exercising and getting plenty of sleep can help your physical and emotional health. The grieving process can take a toll on one’s Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual self and life.

7) Make sure you check in with your loved ones and that they are taking the necessary healthy steps to maintain their health.

8)  Reach out and help others dealing with the loss.

9)  Spending time with loved ones they can be great support and you may be a good support for them. You can be good support for each other together.  Whether it’s sharing stories or listening to your loved one’s favorite music, these small efforts can make a big difference to some.

10) Helping others can the added benefit of making you feel better as well. Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones.

11)  Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, or other events can be a difficult time for everyone, though it can also be a time for remembrance and honoring them.

12)  Things that you can are: collect donations to a favorite charity in the family name, plant a tree or a community garden, donate a park bench, in another word when you are ready to celebrate life.

13)  What you choose is up to you, as long it allows you to honor life and others that feel right to you. When the timing is right for you.

 

Grief and loss is a fact of life, I will not say it is not. It is painful, yet there is Healing, Growth and Recovery when you allow yourself to feel, have emotions, and feel those emotions, by taking care of yourself and your life.   

Written by Marc Baisden

FIVE LIFE AGREEMENTS FOR A HEALTHIER LIFE

AGREEMENT 1: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

When you stand by and follow your word (not promises) you build Integrity, creditability, and more important BELIEVABILITY.

Remember that your word (s) and action(s)/inaction(s), have:

1) Power- A) Internal B) External

2) Influence- A) Internal B) External

What you do or do not do/ say or do not say not only affects you, yet also the people, places and things around you. Even what you don’t see. It is the ripple effect.

 

AGREEMENT 2: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Everything is not about you. It is more than likely about the way you are acting, or something another person is trying to project onto you.

People react or respond to your behavior, not who you as a person.

When you take things personally you assume responsibility that is not yours. “Your Heart Is known by the path you walk.”

 

AGREEMENT 3: DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Making assumptions set’s yourself and others up for conflict and chaos. This is no different than an expectation.

Assumptions are nothing more that faulty perception and beliefs. That you generally act on and create conflict and chaos.

  

AGREEMENT 4: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

 

Your best is first for yourself not others, they are the honored recipients of you doing your best.

Your best will change from situation to situation, as you  learn from each experience,

Your best will change over time.

By doing your best you do not give power or control of yourself to others.

                                      

AGREEMENT 5: BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN

 

Don’t believe yourself or others until you have listened. Most of our knowledge is based on faulty information, beliefs, and or perceptions. Question yourself, ask for more information. Even the decision you made has a little doubt (what is called second-guessing).

Reasonable doubt used in our Courts is a good way to be skeptical without closing off others or being rude.

Do not just listen to the words, but listen to the intent behind the words. Do the actions or behavior match the words and situations?

All information has a kernel of truth and insight, yet from there, anything can happen to it.

 

“Life (external) only intrudes, as long as we allow it”.

~ Eugene Cummunings

Written by Marc Baisden

5 Simple Lifestyle Changes You Can Make For a Happier You

Many of us start off every new year with grand promises—whether it's to live a little healthier, or to learn a new skill. Sadly, not everybody successfully follows through as the days go by—but it’s not because these resolutions are impossible to achieve. Rather, a guide on A Life of Productivity notes that the best way to achieve your goals is to start small. While it sounds a bit counterproductive, you aren't actually downgrading your dreams—you're simply breaking them into more doable, actionable steps.

Though we might be approaching the halfway mark of the year, it doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel already. After all, it's never too late to start building a better life for yourself. With that being said, here are some simple lifestyle changes you can make for a happier you.

Pick up a new hobby

It's tempting to bury ourselves in social media, mindlessly scrolling through our feeds for hours in a day. To break this cycle and make room for something more productive, why not try your hand at a new hobby? Whether it's reading books or learning how to cook, such activities are sure to give your mind and body a refreshing reset. To this end, Tips Make introduces the 20-minute strategy, which basically entails devoting 20 minutes on something everyday for a month to make it into a habit. Remember to start small and make your steps concrete! For instance, aim to read a certain number of pages or commit to sampling a new, quick recipe everyday.

Never skip breakfast

This tip might sound a bit menial, but hear us out, as it actually can make a huge difference to your quality of life. As it turns out, they don't call breakfast "the most important meal of the day" for nothing. Research on The Ladders reveals that breakfast is a great way to spark your productivity. Right after you have your fill, your alertness and energy immediately spike up. Thus, you'd be surprised how such a small change can make the difference between a lethargic, slow day and a happy, productive one. It doesn’t always have to be an elaborate breakfast buffet—a slice of bread, your favorite fruit, and a glass of water are more than enough to start your mornings on the right foot.

Listen to your body

Most of us live very fast-paced lifestyles, but our bodies can only keep up to a certain extent. Attending social gatherings and meeting up with friends, for instance, is important for our mental and social health—but it doesn’t mean you have to say yes to every invitation and max out your energy all the time. True enough, an article on Economic Times India warns that regular weekend partying can leave you feeling fatigued, which can lead to even more problems like irregular sleep and a ruined diet.

This isn't to say that you should stop going out altogether. Instead, put more purpose into it and be sure to be responsible. If you find you’ve had too much to drink, make it a point to rest more and replenish. Lifestyle site PrettyMe recommends WrecOver pills as a way to help you curb the hangovers and headaches. Plus, the nutrients work to help detoxify your body. Of course, listening to your body applies to so many other aspects too—like keeping yourself from overworking even if you think you've got more productivity left in you.

Integrate exercise into your daily habits

Not everybody can just get up and start pushing heavy weights, especially if you're new to it. But if you do want to get fit sustainably, start by integrating it into your daily life. Simple things like standing while working, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and cleaning your house from top to bottom are great ways to sneak in that physical activity. If you think you’re ready for a real workout, our writer Michelle Schacherer finds that downloading fitness apps can guide beginners through the process.

Get the right amount of sleep

Being deprived of quality rest is no joke. Not only will you feel exhausted, but it throws off your mood, too. However, it isn't always easy to just drift off to dreamland. If you're having trouble, perhaps try making a few tweaks to your bedding situation—like changing your pillows. This Layla pillow, for instance, boasts memory foam and allows for more airflow. On the other hand, maybe all you need is a few moments before bedtime to get into the right mental state for rest. Guiding Tech suggests apps like Headspace and Calm, which feature guided meditation programs to clear your mind and set you up for relaxation. Even newbies can follow the steps, as every course can be customized to your needs and lifestyle.

All in all, changing your life for the better doesn't have to be complicated. Just like the age-old adage goes, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So start with this simple list of lifestyle changes, and you'll be well on your way to the best version of yourself that you can be.

 

Written by Leah Cameron 

TRIAL AND ERROR: BROKEN METABOLISM AND HEALING

I remember going through different websites, looking for a trainer that would offer a workout and a meal program. Someone I trusted or had seen before. So, there was my solution: Jillian Michaels! I had heard about her from the show The Biggest Loser and had started seeing her supplements and other products at the store. So, I thought I'd give her a shot.

She had everything I needed on her website. An app that would help me download the workout schedule and programs, as well as the recipes to eat healthy and be in the best shape of my life. I have to admit, at the beginning it was daunting! I started off by throwing away all the junk food I had in my kitchen cabinets and fridge. Then, I restocked on the ingredients I would need for my healthy meals.

I was pretty consistent and disciplined with the meal plan and workout program Jillian had chosen for me and had started to notice positive changes. I also incorporated yoga and running into my workout program.

The last thing I added to my already-dialed-in-new-lifestyle was supplements such as multi-vitamins made from foods and not synthetics, organic protein powders and fat burners. It was these last ones that took my metabolism out of whack. The results were ugly: Insomnia and Amenorrhea. I was not dying, but I was sending my body the signal that I was. So, what did I do? I looked for help. I wanted to treat my insomnia first, so, I went to different doctors and they all told me to take melatonin and relax. They did some thyroid testing on me and it all came back fine. So, they assumed it was all in my head. I tried getting a different opinion from another doctor, but I was told the same thing. This time, though, I was sent back home with a benzodiazepine. Pretty much, a drug that would make me unconscious so I could "sleep". I had to taper to get off this medication once I was able to "sleep" again. My insomnia got "fixed" after a month of sleeping only 2-5 hours per night. The only thing that didn't get fixed was my amenorrhea. It took me 5 years to get that fixed. And, along those 5 years, I experienced some more insomnia.

It was then that I started looking for more experts in the Eastern/Functional medicine atmosphere and, only then, was I able to understand what was going on with me and how I could fix myself. I learned that what I ate would impact my sleep cycle and overall metabolism. And, I learned that carbs were not the enemy, that the good kind were actually needed by our bodies to create some hormones as well as the oh-so-feared-and-hated fat!

My fat journey started with Dave Asprey, then continued not only with him but with Dr. Joseph Mercola, Robb Wolf, Dr. Sarah Ballentyne and Dr. David Perlmutter. Most of these experts always followed a principle: Eat whole, gluten-free foods and listen to your body. That's what I had been missing for years: Listening to my body! We lack that mind-body connection that is so needed in order to be in harmony with our bodies, relationships and overall life. After cracking the code for what works for my body and what makes my metabolism happy, I knew I had to visit my demons and start working on my psychology and spirituality... And so, I started my meditation journey, which took me to places I never thought it would....

This article was written by Michelle Schacherer

Click HERE to Learn more about Michelle’s work.

WEBSITE: http://mschacherercrossfitter.blogspot.com