WITH SUCH GRACE AND GENUINE LOVE

“Do you know Jesus?”

            Were the first words out of his mouth.  His face was no more than two feet from mine as we met in the swimming pool.  He was held by his father, who did not react to his words.  His mother, standing by, said nothing but looked approvingly at her son.  This wasn’t some old guy with bad breath reeking insult to an already aggrieved fellow asking “Do you know Jesus?”  This was a very crippled 6 or 7 year old boy asking a very direct question.  I thought for a minute and then responded, “Yes.  Yes I know Jesus.”

            That began a friendship with Ian, Marcus and Angela that has taught me more about religion than I ever learned from all the sermons I’ve heard in my 86 years.  You see Ian was born with MORQUIO  A.  It is an inherited disease.  He has had 9 operations in his short life.  The last was an operation for  trachea reconstruction that allowed him to breath.  It is a cellular disfunction that affects each person differently but his bones do not grow.  And his spinal cord  can’t handle the stunting growth and bends out of control.  He can’t walk without help.  But that daunting fact does not control their relationship.  He lives as normal a childhood as any American child could wish for.  Marcus and Angela have done a splendid job of parenting.  One that owes a lot to the fact that Ian, Marcus, and Angela all know Jesus.

            It is a joy for me to be with them.  A peace permeates the atmosphere like the flowers fragrance fill a room.     He doesn’t speak until spoken to but his answers are always thoughtful, often funny, and a joke turned upon himself.  He will explain the operations he’s had with great detail, but never feeling a hint of being sorry for himself.  In the 4th grade he is so popular the school adopted him their mascot.  He wore the honor like an Olympic medal.  Olympic medals are not in his future.  Not even a special Olympics’ medal.  You see, at 10 years old he only stands 3 feet tall.  And his daily exercise routine includes lifting one pound weights.  He has developed mighty biceps, which he will show you with the flair of the mighty wrestlers, that he says are the size of a peanut, but he is working to get them to the size of a walnut.

            Ian was not doing well in math and science this year.  His mother helped him with his homework and he made 100 on his tests.  Ian, Marcus, and Angela shame me to be in their presence.  My wife and I raised 5 children and I know now I did not have the humility to raise a child with a handicap.   It was all about me.  I didn’t want them to make the team I wanted them to be Captain of the team.  I wanted them to be the leaders of their classes.  President and cheer leaders and make 100 on all of their tests.  Ian, Marcus, and Angela have shown me I do not know Jesus.  They have shown me with their life, I did not have “Jesus in my heart.”   Oh Marcus and Angela, how do you do it.  With such grace and genuine love, toward Ian and each other.  Would that the world could learn to live with such hardships, with such grace and beauty. 

This article was written by Lawrence McGrath.

 Lawrence wrote the book: A Cry From The Heart: A Personal Essay

Click HERE to purchase his book on Amazon.

Website: https://www.amazon.com/Cry-Heart-Personl-Essay/dp/1439211264

NOT “THE ANSWER” BUT "HER ANSWER"

Until Valeria Teles called me, it never dawned to me that anyone else was concerned that the people of the world were chasing their tails following the dogma of religions, believing the religion they chose to follow was the truth.  I’m reasonably well read.  And Cox cable gives me multiple channels to select from to learn the banter of drug companies, automobile companies, unlimited elixirs to cure everything from toe nail fungus, coughs, and cancer.  Why should Valeria Teles podcast succeed in this maelstrom of “buy me now, I’ve got the answer.”  Well they won’t cover her over with their blarney,  no they won’t.  The answer is, there is “No Answer.”  There is only belief.  And the reason Valeria’s podcast may be the spark that ignites the world is, maybe she got it right.  But she needs help.

                  What did they get right?  They got from the beginning of time, religion has ruled the people.  And it rules us today.  It distorts our lives in all possible ways contrary to a Valeria’s life fit for joy.  Can any listener to this podcast say their life has been joyful?   Everyone of the presenters to Valeria’s podcasts are over 40.  Each has had to learn the reason they were not loved and cherished and their learning to overcome the damaging effects gave them a purpose to help other people escape their fate.  Everyone should listen to Lillie Thomlin.  She said, “I didn’t get well until I gave up all hope of a better past.”  That is what the presenters are saying on this forum.  And it is free.

                  And the scams are voluminous.  How can you tell the truth from “gotcha.”  Money!  Money is how you tell the well intentioned from the greedy.  Valeria has produced a sensitive and insightful anthology for people who find the podcast to secure a steady and reliable future.   She doesn’t have “The Answer.”   She has “an” answer, until you find your own.   Most of the presenters deal with addictions, relationships, or death of a loved one.  And those are important issues, which are real.  But we have to deal with the root cause of Man’s in humanity to Man if we are ever going to escape the uncreditable harm to humanity we continue to inflict on each other.  And Valeria addresses that.

                  FOOD.  We have enough food to feed the world if the governments of the world would let the free flow of food be as easy as the free flow of money.  SHELTER.  We can shelter the world if we spent the money on housing not bombs.  EDUCATION.  Stop the inane education of markets and get to basics.  RRR.  Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic and let the child chose his/her vocation.  Let the future be the goal of progress.  Let the morning be the beginning of life.  Let everyone enjoy a fit for the life experience.   

                  Valeria is the most well intentioned person I’ve ever met.  I believe her podcasts are an intelligent use of the collective wisdom of man that has been collected.  They are there for the benefit of all humanity.  They are meant to make the world a safer place.  They are there to make the world a happier place. 

This article was written by Lawrence McGrath.

Lawrence wrote the book: A Cry From The Heart: A Personal Essay

Click HERE for his book on Amazon.

INSTITUTIONALIZED MINDS AND CONFLICTED LIVING — PART TWO

         

After the Kinkul has lived in its Kinkul Motel (Remember, Mommies and Daddies don’t know Kinkul Motel is the name for baby), for about two years, baby starts to act differently than before.  It happens when Mommy or Daddy, or someone standing near, shouts “No” to baby and sometimes slaps baby’s hands or bottom, when the Kinkul is driving baby to something Kinkul wants and which is something Mommy and Daddy don’t want baby to have.  The Kinkul doesn’t feel anything, but baby feels a lot of pain and baby doesn’t like pain one bit.  When baby feels pain it lets out a caterwauling cry all by itself.  You don’t like pain either do you?

Remember; Kinkul does not have a memory but now baby starts to develop one,  Baby remembers when it gets smacked for reaching for one thing and not another.  When Kinkul wants baby to reach for something, baby remembers getting smacked for, baby starts to act independently from the Kinkuls desire.  In a  way, the baby is telling the Kinkul “not now” and for some reason, Kinkul doesn’t bite baby because it didn’t get what it wanted when it wanted it.

Mommy and Daddy think they are training their baby to “behave.”  Doing what your Mommy and Daddy tell you to do when they tell you to do it is behaving.  What baby really learns is if you are bigger and stronger  than the other person and can use force against that person, you can get what you want when you want it.

Something else start to happen to baby and proves the last point is true.  Baby starts saying words and seem to understand the words Mommy and Daddy are saying.  Of course, the Kinkul doesn’t understand words.  Understanding words requires memory and a Kinkul doesn’t have a memory. But words are a powerful force that baby quickly learns to use to get what it and the Kinkul wants when they want it.

We notice the baby begins to want things the Kinkul never thinks about.  When baby plays with other babies and it wants something the other baby has, baby uses force to take it away from the playmate.  Mommy or Daddy blames baby for being selfish and shame baby for being selfish.  But baby doesn’t understand selfish.  Baby is just getting what it wants when it wants it.  Who cares if the other  kid is crying because it doesn’t get what it wants when it wants it.  Besides, baby is bigger and stronger that the other kid so baby is supposed to get what baby wants.

By the time baby gets to be five or six years old, baby can’t tell the difference between what the Kinkul wants and what baby wants.   Its O.K. to talk at home but not O.K. to talk in a place Mommy and Daddy call church.  Or it’s O.K. to spill your drink on the grass but not on the carpet.  Baby has learned it is good if baby does what Mommy and Daddy tell baby to do and bad when baby doesn’t.  Baby doesn’t know what is good or what is bad, except baby gets spanked for one and praised for the other.  Are you confused about what is good and what is bad?

It is hard to learn how to control the Kinkul.  It is especially hard  when Mommy and Daddy are not there to tell you.  But I believe the Kinkul lives with you all of your life.  It seems to me, the secret to a happy life is to learn when the Kinkul is controlling your acts to get what it wants when it wants it or whether you are acting in control of yourself.  Now that you know about your Kinkul, it is easy to see the Kinkul acting in other kids and people of all ages.  When I learned to tell the difference between my wants and the Kinkul’s wants, it became easier and easier to keep Kinkul from biting me by telling it “Not now!”  

When I could tell my acts were to get something I wanted, I was able to think about it and make sure that what I wanted was good for me, helpful to others, considerate of others, and that this was the right time for me to have it.  I’ve never been able to make friends with my Kinkul, but now, maybe it will be easier for you and me to be friends.

I do not present the Kinkul as a fact.  Kinkul is just an allegory for the human condition that I have never heard described in any other term than Original Sin.  All of the grandchildren I’ve told these stories to identified completely with IWWIWWIWI.  Now when they are acting selfishly I tell them, “Looks like your Kinkul is biting you.”  They stop their behavior, they look at me and smile, and then we laugh with each other and they do not return to the selfish behavior-and I like that.

My Kinkul stories are presented here because I submit for your consideration that it is not the concept of Original Sin and the concomitant sin nature of humanity that causes people to have problems with social interaction; rather it is the unchallenged, initially rewarded, and culturally reinforced approval of IWWIWWIWI  and the presumption that is appropriate to use force to get it.

By eliminating the presumption that a child is evil because of the myth of Original Sin a child may be able to be raised without the parent’s righteously playing the blame and shame game. 

We know the blame and shame game produces guilt and low self-esteem in a child.  Maybe society could begin to help children transition from the selfish prompting force of wanting what they want when they want it which is as natural as its skin, to the controlling its compulsive body instincts in a mature manner without blame and shame.

This article was written by Lawrence McGrath.

Lawrence wrote the book: A Cry From The Heart: A Personal Essay

Click here to purchase his book on Amazon.

Mr. McGrath is an author, father and grandfather. A retired marine pilot, lawyer, college professor, college president, bank president, and consultant.

INSTITUTIONALIZED MINDS-CONFLICTED LIVING

            Every religion has their members admit they are not what their God would have them be.  An example is one segment of  Christianity.  It says it is the result of the Sin Nature that is the result of the original sin of Adam and Eve and transmitted to every human like DNA.  

Their human reasoning, as to the cause, gives remarkable human Institutional reason for the cure.   First they divided sin into Mortal and Venial sin.  They must first be confessed to a priest, and if you die without making another mortal sin you go to heaven.  If you die with an unconfessed mortal sin, you go to hell.  If you die with an unconfessed venial sin you go to Purgatory and after that time in Purgatory you get to go to heaven.

            Don’t laugh.  One billion souls live every day under that curse.  They live because they believe in the Institutional truth in the Sin of Adam and Eve is the reason for their “Sin Nature.”  Others say it is ratified by the Atonement of Jesus Christ “who died for your sins.”  If you believe in Him that will do the job of confessing.  Why do you have a sin nature?  Organized religions have failed in their mission because their leaders fell in love with their dogma instead of their god.  Something has to change!  What has to change first is our belief in why people act selfishly.  Well I will give you another perspective.  It is the unchallenged, initially rewarded, and culturally reinforced approval of  “I Want What I Want When I Want It.  (Hereinafter identified as IWWIWWIWI, The Kinkul.)

            Did you know there are thousands of Kinkuls born every day.  Kinkuls look like this when they are born.  (Baby picture),  Their mommies and daddies call them babies, but they are not…they are Kinkul motels!  What makes them a Kinkul motel is the IWWIWWIWI caterpillar.  Some how that ol’ Kinkul gets inside the baby and they arrive in this world together at the same time.  No one knows where the Kinkul lives, but I think it lives in the baby’s brain right behind the eyes and just between the ears.

            At first, the Kinkul is very helpful to the baby.  When the Kinkul is hungry it bites the baby.  And you know what happens then, the baby lets out a big caterwauling cry.  And you know what happens then?  Mommy and Daddy, and anyone standing close, comes fluttering to the Kinkul and starts feeding it with good tasting stuff.  The Kinkul likes that and so does the baby.  When the Kinkul feels wet, or thirsty, or cold, or hot or tired, the Kinkul bites the baby and the baby lets out a big caterwauling cry and Mommy or Daddy or anyone standing close come fluttering to the Kinkul and makes the Kinkul comfortable.  The Kinkul likes that and so does baby.

            The IWWIWWIWI caterpillar is as natural to the baby as its hands and toes.  The Kinkul uses baby’s caterwauling cry to get what it wants when it wants, long before baby is able to use its hands or feet.  The Kinkul knows, long before baby knows, that it’s hungry, or thirsty, or wet, or cold, or hot, or sick.  The Kinkul is as much a part of a baby as its heart and just an invisible to Mommies and Daddies.  That’s why a Kinkul that wants what it wants when it wants it isn’t being bad…it’s just being a Kinkul, which happens to live in a Kinkul motel, that Mommies and Daddies call baby.

            After baby has lived with Mommy and Daddy for more than a year, neither baby nor the Kinkul has reason to think it shouldn’t get what it wants when it wants it, even when it doesn’t know what it wants.  Mommy and Daddy and anyone standing near has made sure that what a Kinkul wants, a Kinkul gets, and baby likes that.

            Think on it.  The only tool, or weapon, a baby has to fend for its life, is crying.  And it works.  Why wouldn’t it think selfishly.  What else does the baby know exists?  It is how the institutions handle the maturational process that signifies why the institutional minds create conflicted living.  

This article was written by Lawrence McGrath.

Lawrence wrote the book: A Cry From The Heart: A Personal Essay

Mr. McGrath is an author, father and grandfather. A retired marine pilot, lawyer, college professor, college president, bank president, and consultant.