The Healer knows all of this and by sitting in her presence, you are reminded of this truth, too.
The Healer is also aware that every human being, including herself, has the capacity to act and feel in the entire spectrum that exists. She listens without judgment because, under the same circumstances with the same set of tools, such as understanding, financial situation, emotional support, education, family and friends, and so on, she is aware she herself may have acted the same way. By holding space unconditionally like that, the “healee’s” fear has nothing to fight against, and it quietens, hopefully enough for that person to realize that ultimately, all is well.
The Healer also often tells you exactly what you need to hear at that time, whether it’s easy to hear or not. For example, when I was a third- year university student, I had just been dumped by my boyfriend. I was sharing a house with my best friend, Gitte, and while doing the dishes I was going on, yet again, about this man. Gitte told me, “You know, the universe is one big YES machine. If you keep focusing on this man and how he dumped you, this is what you will keep getting.” So I snapped out of it and got on with life.
Someone with an underdeveloped Healer lives a life of self-centeredness. This can go as far as living a life of arrogance and disregard for others, but more often is an incapacity to be empathic or view an issue from someone else’s perspective. You do not want this kind of person negotiating in a situation where a win/win outcome is required. And isn’t it always?
Famous Healers:
Amma, an Indian woman who heals by hugging... everyone.
The Shadow Healer:
The Shadow Healer is unable to accept and love themselves and others fully and unconditionally. This often leads to a life stuck in a victim consciousness, and an inability to see there is more to themselves and their lives than the dreadful thing that happened to them.
The Shadow Healer commonly manifests as someone who plays the part of the Rescuer, someone who is always trying to help others, rather than to empower them. This sets up a cycle of co-dependence. The person at the receiving the help sometimes does not require or want this help, feeling that they are being disempowered. This can cause a lot of friction in the relationship. The Rescuer needs someone in need of rescuing to feel good about themselves, because they are not processing the unpleasant emotions and beliefs they carry about themselves.
The Shadow Healer can sometimes show up as someone who tries to twist the outside world into a shape that fits into their self-perception. For example, someone who is a perpetrator of violence presenting themselves as a victim. It is likely they experienced violence growing up, and they haven’t ever experienced conflict resolved in any way other than violently. But if they don’t own that they are doing harm to others, they never break that cycle and step into a place of feeling good within themselves and living their full potential.
Healing takes courage.