The Great Way is not difficult for
THE POWER OF INFINITE LOVE - PART TWO
Her way of trying to sell the items intrigued me. With her narration on the power of each piece, she would mention that she was a psychic and that she knew what I needed to improve my life. First, she tried to sell me a crystal necklace with a bear claw, telling me that Native Americans relate bears with strength and wisdom. She explained that bears keep fighting even when seriously injured, and that it is believed that they can heal their own wounds. Then, she added a deeper insight: “I think you could use one of these.” I would have loved to chat with her about spirituality, but I stayed silent. She was looking for a different kind of chat with me.
I moved toward a clear quartz necklace. The lady moved even closer, telling me how the crystal could enhance my spiritual growth and increase inspiration and creativity. “Would you like one?” She persisted.
I was not interested in buying crystals. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe they carried positive energies, which I did (and do!). Very simply, the only “sacred” recipient I was (and am!) interested in was the human heart. So I asked her: “What here offers the power of infinite love?”
My question floated in space and silence for a moment.
The lady started turning her wheelchair in many directions in search of something that she could sell me, now that she knew exactly what I wanted. I was stunned that she even had something to look for. My question referred to a fictional item.
It took her but a few minutes to find (allegedly) what had taken me a lifetime to begin to understand. She asked me to follow her. I stood by her side as she silently pointed to the biggest, light purple crystal in the room, displayed grandly on a tabletop. She whispered, “My dear, this has the power of infinite love, I assure you!” With a smile, she delivered her words with conviction.
My next question was, “Do you really believe we can have wisdom, strength, inspiration, creativity, or even infinite love from anything that is outside of us?”
The lady rolled her wheelchair to the back of the store agitatedly, mumbling that she had had enough with me. She screamed for her husband to come and assist me, because she was done.
I left the place reflecting on what had just happened.
The fact that the lady’s body was confined to a wheelchair didn’t make me feel sorry for her. It was her handicapped mind that made me feel compassion.
After that encounter, I didn’t stop anywhere else. I walked into the woods and sat down next to a flowing river. Its presence carried the force of nature. Though rocks and leaves tried to divert my attention, the river flowed on, faithful to its own path.
As I sat quietly, listening to the sound of the water, I wondered when we too will let ourselves just be and defy the illusion of our minds to allow the power of infinite love to freely flow in our hearts.
The cool breeze from the river carried me back home!
Much love!
Valeria
THE POWER OF INFINITE LOVE - PART ONE
The sun took me out for a walk. I had no destination really, only to walk in a part of town I’d never been before. It was the only thought in my mind when I left home.
I crossed the street and started walking. I passed many art and yoga studios. The library was closed, though I stopped by anyway to see what days it was open. Before I reached the next block, I noticed two buildings on the same side of the street. One was a theater and the other a crystal store that looked more like a psychic’s tent. I passed the latter to go straight to the theater. I did this on purpose because the crystal store was the real place I wanted to stop and stay for a while; visiting the theater first would allow me a relaxed and immersive experience at the crystal store. The theater was closed, putting my curiosity about what movies were playing to rest. I headed right back to the mystic tent!
As I retraced my steps, I marked the moment with warm hopes of meeting someone with whom I could have a spiritual encounter. I do this all the time! In these kinds of “spiritual meetings,” we recognize each other as souls in bodies and chat about our current rebirths. How has it been for you to be here for this number of years? What was it to be born in that family, and have this number of children? Have you forgiven everyone? These sorts of conversations interest me greatly.
So I walked through the door. It made a funny noise, announcing that someone had arrived. There were two people inside: an old man behind the counter and a lady in a wheelchair. An impressive blue crystal necklace hung around her neck. It must be really heavy, I thought, but perhaps being in the wheelchair, the weight didn’t bother her.
They said hello to me, I said hello back to them, and I began to browse. There was much to look at, but I was taken with a large, wooden sculpture of the Buddha lying peacefully on his right side. My mind was empty of thoughts. I simply wanted to be there, contemplating the image of the Buddha. Before any specific thought arose, the lady in the wheelchair asked if I was looking to buy anything in particular. I turned around with a smile, looked straight into her eyes and said that it was great to be at her store, but I was not looking for anything. Do you mind? She said no while tightening her lips and looking down, she seemed disappointed.
At this point, I intuitively knew the spiritual conversation wouldn’t happen.
I walked slowly, admiring the many Native American images and crystals of all sizes and colors. But with every step I took, the lady was right behind me. She quickly broke the silence to give me historical commentary for every piece she assumed I was looking at. At first, I thought she was only doing her job, eager to share her knowledge about each object on display. The man standing behind the counter wasn’t around anymore. So I listened to her patiently, but noticed her comments were always followed by the persistent question: …
To be continued next week!
Much love!
Valeria
WILL JOHN MEDITATE AGAIN?
John used to meditate for about an hour every day. It was a must for him while his mother battled cancer, and it remained that way after her death, too. He felt meditation brought him closer to the awareness of love in his heart. When he accessed this unconditional love in himself, John was able to calm his mind and he suffered less and less. He described what he felt on those days as total surrender to his heart’s reality—one where he knew his mother’s life (and his own) were but moments in the eternal breath of the divine, pieces of the infinitude of existence. John was in state of surrender to love.
Years went by. John became a successful businessman, and he lost the ability to access his heart’s reality through meditation. He wondered what had happened.
This was easy to answer.
He was now constantly occupied with a great number of responsibilities and was making a lot of money. When he tried to meditate, his mind could not stop giving him innovative ideas, smart strategies, and new ways of solving business problems. He felt really good about all his accomplishments in the external world, but he had also grown anxious and fearful. There was no quietude in his life, even at night when it was time to rest.
John asked his meditation teacher for an answer. This teacher said to him:
“You’ve fully immersed your life in your rational–analytic mind. It believes it is the master now. And it is doing a great job at it, but it is also keeping you awake at night and agitated during the day. To put it simply, your mind is using the total power you’ve given it. The more external gratification you receive, the more in control your mind becomes.
Your being can only serve one master, not two.
The mind thrives in knowledge, the heart in wisdom.
The wonderful thing about building your life from the truths of your spiritual heart is that you can still honor your physical and psychological existence without getting lost in fear and anxiety. Believing that we understand and control all aspects of our human existence is a strong sign that we have built our lives with our rational–analytic minds.
In this state, the heart can’t solve the problems of your life because it can’t find them.”
John was instructed to sit in meditation until his thoughts became as irrelevant as the hum of his refrigerator, or any other constant sound he wouldn’t normally give attention to. Through this, he was able to silence his thoughts with the noises around him and focus on his breathing. Doing this helped John find the foundation of his existence again: that peace and love are breaths within the Breath.
Much love!
Valeria
P.S. I MISS YOUR SOUL
I recently texted some friends to update them on my book’s publication progress, and also to tell them about my life at the moment. At the end of the message I wrote: “I miss your soul.”
The next day, I woke up with a strange feeling. It was a constricting sensation of anxiety and sorrow. There had been so much peace and joy in my heart the last few months that it was hard to believe the feeling rising in my mind that morning. At first, I thought the feelings could be the residual product of a bad dream (as I’d just woken up). But it alarmed me that as the day went on I realized they were rooted in reality. My breakfast didn’t taste the same. My spiritual recitations had lost their meaning. I knew I had to stop everything I had planned for that morning and meditate on this unpleasant feeling.
So that is exactly what I did.
I sat down, made myself comfortable, and meditated long enough to quiet my mind and listen to my heart. It was an urgent matter to know the reason for feeling so unsettled. I asked myself: “What have I done or said that is not in harmony with my heart?” This is a typical question that I ask when I encounter startling emotions, even when they are positive in nature.
After thirty minutes or so of meditation, my thoughts began to connect what I had written to my friends with another prior event. It became clear that I hadn’t conveyed my whole truth to my friends.
About a week before sending the message, I attended a Sufi Center to partake in one of their spiritual practices. The place was on the second floor next door to an art gallery, which auspiciously displayed a painting of a heart in the window.
I arrived early. As I climbed the stairs to get there, I heard beautiful chanting in unison. What a peaceful sound, I thought. At the top of the stairs were some shoes on a rack. Those shoes had carried bodies whose soulful presences could be felt through their voices. I left my shoes there, too.
As soon as I entered the simple, peaceful reception area (it looked like a loving grandmother’s living room), a tall woman greeted me with a genuine smile and compassionate eyes. She offered me some tea and we sat down to talk about Sufism before the spiritual session started. Some other attendees were already there, and they joined the conversation. The chant echoing from the other room perfumed the air as we spoke.
We were immediately like family. I am used to relating to people as souls, but it isn’t so common that I meet beings who recognize themselves as souls, too. That day, as we sat and talked about spirituality, I felt that everyone was so immersed in their own hearts that there wasn’t any feeling of separation or judgment to create differences between us. We simply gathered to celebrate our temporary existence in time and space while wrapped in different bodies. The air we breathed and exhaled had only one molecule: love!
Later during the meeting, tears fell from my eyes as my heart felt the incredible potential we humans have to love with purity and to be kind.
This was what I meant when I told my friends that I missed their souls. I’ve seen their potential to be as kind and loving as the Sufis and Buddhists I’ve followed in spirituality. I miss the real soul connection that has never happened between these friends and myself, one that transcends our physical and psychological realities. Most of the time we are so caught up in expressing our physical capabilities and mental needs that we fail to experience our own existence as souls. What a precious experience to miss in this life! To me, once I have recognized someone as a divine being, I receive no joy from relating to them through ego.
To my friends: the next time I say to you that I “miss your soul,” know that I am communicating directly to the pure essence of who you are. I couldn’t possibly miss the manifestation of the ego in all of us that causes most of the suffering in the world.
I still miss your soul!
Much love!
Valeria
FIT BODY IDENTITY
Drawing by Ann Procacci
The depressed identity is hard to break from, but I find the “fit person” identity even tougher to let go of. This is because it is perceived as a positive, healthy identification, and everyone around you will reinforce that. When I stopped training and spent months writing in France instead, I gained a few pounds from all the bread and cheese. I did not obsess about eating clean and exercising, though I still did these things fairly regularly. I began to smile more, to meditate… I was much more serene. When I talked to others, it was about love and compassion.
When I came back, empowered by this new me but a few pounds heavier, my close friend reacted in an unexpected way. He was bothered. It wasn’t my extra pounds that agitated him. There was an odd feeling every time we met—I felt he was in mourning around me, as if somebody had passed away. He would look at me and say with sadness in his eyes, “Why can’t you live a normal life? Why can’t you be like before?”
That person I was before, that “normal” one he referred to, was an anxious, fearful woman with whom he had had a relationship based on listening to each other’s complaints. We often agreed on the unfairness of life. Now that I was telling him that everything was perfect as it was, he felt he couldn’t be his old self with me anymore. The person who I once believed was me was "dying," and my friend felt that he couldn't be around someone who was "dying." What a fascinating experience it is to let go of who you think you are... over and over again!
Much love!
Valeria
THE THINKING MIND REALITY
We may all agree on the meaning of physical health as being free of injury or illness, but we may disagree on the meaning of psychological health. The way I see it, what makes us appear mentally healthy actually causes much of our unhealthiness. In general, is there is anything unhealthier for us as individuals and as societies than selfishness? Behind selfishness resides all kinds of fear, especially of not having enough or of not being enough as an individual. Besides causing unhealthy behaviors, this fear propels us to contribute to destructive ideas, as well as to create mental and physical structures for protection. By acting and reacting to irrationality (fear) all the time, we reinforce our thinking minds’ reality over that of our hearts'.
Much love,
Valeria
REMEMBER YOUR TRUE GIFT
Physical adoration has driven many of us away from our unique and true gifts. Some of us have become so obsessed with a fit body, or ashamed for not having one, that, along with exercise, unnecessary suffering has also become part of our lifestyle.
It was a nice Monday morning. I was having a conversation with a client who I’d been training for a couple of months. It had been a year of self-discovery for me. My mind pondered about what gives us real purpose and what really matters in life.
In the middle of our session, I said, “Susan, you know what I found out recently?”
She said, “What?”
“That the foundation of health is love, it is to feel truly connected with one another in compassion. Doesn’t it make a lot of sense?”
She looked at me and said, “Valeria, can you get the mat for my next glute workout?”
We continued with the session as if there were no comment made and no questions asked.
Much Love!
Valeria
THE HEART IS THE MASTER
My heart says: To be healthy is to be loving - To be loving is to be healthy.
Following the heart’s path doesn’t mean you stop taking care of your body or stop helping others to take care of theirs; it means fear is no longer your motivation to work out or eat healthily.
I learned to meditate before and during every action I take. The answer is not always clear, but when fear is the underlying reason to act or not act, anxiety is also part of the experience. Body and mind can only harmoniously work together when your primary purpose is to live with compassion.
As a trainer, I had clients who exercised because they were afraid of death, and others only because they wanted to look good for other people. In my case, exercise became a way to fulfill external needs that didn’t resonate with my heart. For years, I felt like a machine created to produce an attractive and healthy body so that I could play the professional and fitness enthusiast role.
But not long ago, in the midst of my "machine-like" life, I began to question the meaning of my life. I was fit and healthy but in conflict with the truth in my heart. I then decided to listen to my heart. A major shift in perspective took place.
I stopped playing the role of a personal trainer and fitness enthusiast. These roles were trapping me in the physical reality. In the heart resides our spiritual reality; the more you listen to it, the more spiritual you become.
By becoming aware that you are a spiritual being, you turn inward for happiness.
You still take good care of your body, but you no longer believe you are it. Joy and serenity become inseparable elements of your fitness experience.
The heart is the master, the mind is a powerful servant, and the body is the bridge between heaven and earth.
Much love!
Valeria
SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Pierre, the French priest and philosopher, was right on!
This is something most of us intuitively know. When I was very young, about 8 or 9, I had an interesting experience to which I reacted as a spiritual being.
One day, looking at myself in the mirror, I stared at my belly button; then after a moment, a spontaneous thought emerged: “I am back in a female body this time.” There were no more thoughts for the next few moments. I stayed there contemplating my body as a new vehicle for my unfolding new life. There were no other thoughts judging the initial one. I remember that for a while, perhaps years after that, I was convinced my life was a rebirth of a soul.
I don’t blame you if you don’t believe this. Although it was a powerful experience for me and I could never forget it, every time I thought about it, my mind immediately disbelieved that it was real or that it had any significance. If you know our “ego” nature, you also know it has a strong pull on us, making us believe there is just one reality. As long as you are convinced you are only your physical body and your thoughts, the ego is in charge—in other words, peace and happiness are based on external sources.
In contrast, when you feel you are also a spiritual being, your happiness and peace become less and less dependent on external pursuits. But then, when you stop believing you are a spiritual being and start living as one, you spontaneously invite happiness and peace into your life, and in love, you merge with everything else.
If you are like me, someone who is inclined to engage in physical activity, how do you take good care of your body without getting trapped into concepts of physical attractiveness and health?
For many, many years I struggled to answer this question.
In Brazil, where I come from, an attractive body is worshiped as a sort of “God.” The way my family raised me, I was taught not only to strive for physical beauty, but also to be obedient, to serve, and to smile.
It took me years of suffering from inner conflict to accept my imperfect body and to find my way back to the intuitive faith in my heart. A heart that had always known my true identity as a spiritual being, even though my rational mind could not accept that as truth.
You might know well what I am talking about.
When you know there is a lot more to you than a body and a thinking mind, but you don’t know how to access that deeper part, you end up struggling in between them. And what a long journey “in between” it was for me.
Going back to the question, I must say that the answer is so paradoxical that even reflecting on it leads to a belief that you are someone with a body on a trip to the land of fitness and health. In other words, you start thinking of yourself as a psychological being with a physical body, and you believe that once you become fit and healthy you will achieve joy and happiness. In reality, those good feelings are only transitory because they’re still based on external things. You live as a physical being trying to have a spiritual experience.
This is how I see it: at one level of reality we are in a physical body, at another, we are souls (with psychological needs and wants that also yearn for pure love and peace), and at the ultimate reality, we simply are. These realities exist simultaneously.
What I find, is that there are ways of experiencing the physical and soul realities with the wisdom from the “IS” reality. The “IS” reality I refer to here is also known as the nirvana state, heaven, the divine presence, enlightenment, awakening, Christ’s heart, and Buddha nature, among others.
So much of our lives are concerned with the physical reality. We are deeply immersed in the fear of not having what we want, in the pain of not being satisfied with what we have, in passion (which creates more and more desires), in confusion from not knowing the source of our unhappiness, and in search of life’s deeper meaning.
I have seen these states of mind manifest right in front of me in the fitness domain, both professionally and personally. Who doesn’t want to have a fit, healthy, and attractive body? Who is totally satisfied with their body? Who is not afraid of losing their physical attractiveness and health?
Before becoming a professional in the world of fitness, I was a fitness enthusiast for more than 20 years. This is all part of my “in between” life. For the last two years, as I have lived more and more as a spiritual being having a physical experience, I have come to see myself existing in different realities at the same time. As a result, life has become so much more interesting, rich, loving, joyful, and peaceful.
Much love!
Valeria ☺
THE “ZEN LAUNDROMAT GIRL”
My last article was about finding and staying in the center of serenity.
Since I returned from Paris, I have been looking for practices, people or places to help me stay in the center of serenity, that peace I found when I was alone in France for three months.
The idea of having a support group or practice actually started when I was about to return to New York.
Every time I thought of coming back, my feeling of serenity was gone, it was immediately replaced by fear. It scared me to the bones to think of living in New York again after what I had found: a more peaceful me.
So, before landing at JFK, I contacted a number of Buddhist centers and temples and applied for residency. A few monks interviewed me over the phone, while I was in France. I can’t say that this was a decision made out of fear (entirely); I do have a strong interest in deepening my knowledge and practice of Buddhism, especially Tibetan.
My plan to make sure I kept my center of serenity intact while in New York was perfectly laid out.
I arrived on January 15th and on the morning of January 22nd was in the meditation hall at the Zen Mountain / Fire of Lotus Temple. Yes, back to that deep feeling of peace.
It gave me what I was looking for, a support group and practice to remain at that deep level of peace within, until …
I walked in the laundromat on the corner, to do my laundry. It was a Wednesday morning.
The girl who worked there was as empty, radiant, and peaceful as any of the Zen monks at the temple. We talked briefly about the coin machine that wasn’t accepting my bills. She gave me some quarters from the cash register. By looking into her eyes, I felt her joy and peace, which matched mine.
I wonder what that simple, young girl’s spiritual practices were?
My laundry experience in her presence was as pure and serene as my meditation sessions at the Zen temple.
How interesting!
This made me question the whole idea about being around Buddhist monks and nuns to feel spiritually safe and secure.
The laundromat girl seemed to be using very little of her thinking mind. She was active, answering the phone and helping customers, but without any attachment to the action. Like a car carrying passengers from point A to point B because it was programmed to do so. The car is neither attached to any passenger that comes and goes, nor to any location that it picks and drops people off at. It simply does its job, as it was meant to function.
As you may know, Zen Buddhism’s teachings and practices provide the most direct experience of the “empty mind.” This means, no thinker, no doer, no meditator even. You become the awareness that is not attached to or affected by anything. A stage where the performance still goes on, but without the performer.
How cool is this?
As much as I understand this from personal experience, at this time in my life, I feel drawn to Tibetan Buddhism. It speaks to the truths in my heart in a more practical way. What I mean is that I have some “karma,” work to do that Zen doesn’t help me with.
Now I have been applying for residency and volunteer work at Tibetan Temples here in New York and also in France. The Karma Triyana Dharmachakra temple in Woodstock has accepted my application. The only issue at the moment is that I still need to edit the manuscript to fulfill orders in May. I have asked them for a room where I can stay alone to work on the book in my free time from the practice. They will let me know soon about my request.
I will write the next articles on what I understand about karma, and later on what insights I have had so far from reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
As for my experience with the “Zen Laundromat Girl,” it made me realize that staying in the center of serenity is wonderful, but I want to know why it is so important to me to stay peaceful all the time. What is there about my human existence that I don’t want to see or deal with? I will let you know when I find out!
I also would love to hear your thoughts about my spiritual journey, and what I am writing about. I get feedback all the time from people saying they like my articles, but not much on the “deep comment” side!
Much love!
Valeria
IN THE CENTER OF SERENITY
So, I am back in New York after spending three months in “quietude” in Paris.
I have enclosed the word, quietude, in quotation marks because the intention of my trip was to finish writing Fit for Joy.
When I remove the quotation marks, I clearly see that, although my mind was highly active with thoughts about the next chapter, or story, or paragraph (and of course, the next raw cheese croissant meal), I was at peace with “myself.”
At peace with a body that loves carbs and sweets, and a mind that manifests thoughts that can then be expressed as sadness, anger, lust, and separation, among others.
I realized that by recognizing the nature of mind and body, we can rest in the space in-between.
Isn’t it amazing?
We can become the space for action without losing serenity.
Although I was still loaded with thoughts about my book, and I was physically active, the feeling of peace remained. I was not lost in being “Valeria,” as I knew it.
This might sound complicated at first, but I will try to explain it better…
It became clear to me that, in the past, I was trapped in feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression because my mind could only see and be “Valeria,” the person and personality. It could not yet recognize through experience, the serene space (I am), which “Valeria” simply manifests in form through her body, thoughts, actions, ideas, past events, and so…
The “Valeria” in New York was concerned about being the personal trainer working with clients who didn’t understand the true meaning of health. The disappointed winning fitness competitor who abused her body for months preparing for the show. The twice-divorced woman with a traumatic past who was struggling to forget the pain. The person and professional who lived to teach others that exercising and eating clean should be a top priority in life, although her heart lived for compassion and peace.
The “Valeria” in France was mentally and physically busy, too, but she was like a tree that remains calm and still throughout every season.
Even though the leaves of a tree change colors and fall, the tree’s essence always remains the same. The same is true for humans when we recognize ourselves as the center of serenity, which is who we really are.
It amazed me to realize that I could live my life from that day on just like that. I could simply be the essence of my human life.
I am not suggesting that you should disassociate yourself from your physical body and your psychological reality; rather, you should recognize them as manifestations of your human life in this moment in time, which doesn’t affect the essence of who you are.
If this is making sense to you, you are clearly on the path to freeing yourself from unnecessary suffering.☺
It’s also important to understand that the question about how it all came to be and what will happen when we die doesn’t need an answer if you recognize your true essence.
It’s something like this: you don’t know that you know, but you do!
Once you have established yourself in the center of serenity, you will be surprised to see yourself living as a joyful and mysterious being that is having an experience in a body without any attachment.
What a joy it must be!
I do think that meditation and being alone somewhere close to nature can help you experience this feeling, but I strongly believe that in order to strengthen your faith about who you are, you need open-heartedness, compassion, and the pure intention to stay on the path by deepening your spiritual knowledge.
While I was in Paris, in addition to spending hours writing about the connection between fitness and spirituality, I meditated a few hours every day, and I visited the Tibetan Kagyu-Dzong Temple.
I spent most of my time alone in a small cottage by a river, in contemplation. Although the idea of visiting touristy places, making new friends, and savoring fancy French foods excited me, I felt much more joy in practicing spirituality through these experiences, than in delighting in pleasure itself.
In conclusion, the goal of my trip to Paris was to finish writing the book, which I did; but, it seems to me now that my unconscious mind brought me there to start the progress of "ending Valeria”—which I believe also happened.
To end my journey as “Valeria,” as I know it, means to live consciously in the center of serenity. I can feel the transformation taking place every day.
So, the manuscript was completed. It is now being prepared for private fulfillment in May. Then, it will be presented to publishers.
As you can see, this could become another trap where I believe I am the author of Fit for Joy, when the truth is: I am the blank page before and after the words. :)
Namaste!
STILL BEAUTIFUL...
I WANT TO LOSE BELLY FAT ONLY
I was waiting for one of my clients. She was almost twenty minutes late when my phone rang.
“It’s Destiny. I am very late. I’m sorry, Valeria. Will be there soon. Bye,” she said in a few seconds and hung up the phone.
I stared at the street of Astoria from the small studio I rented close to my house. Destiny would come rushing in any time. It was cold and windy outside. The fitness studio also offered massage therapy. There was a massage session going on in one of the rooms close to where I stood in the reception.
Destiny was one of the most cheerful clients I had. She always came straight to me with a big smile. She gave me a tight hug and a kiss before we started training.
She was a mother of two kids, taught school, and was overweight. Destiny was a high-energy woman with a very unusual fitness goal: to lose belly fat only. She trained with me three times a week.
When we met two months ago and I asked her about her fitness goals, she said to me, “My husband would love to see me with a smaller belly wearing the new pink swimsuit I bought for this summer.” She shook a colorful water bottle and took a sip. “I know I am a bit overweight but I do like my voluptuous body—except for my belly. My husband says all I need to do to look great is to lose belly fat.”
It was not the first time I heard that kind of fitness request from a client—I was used to it. So I said to her, “Let me see if I understand you, Destiny. You want to lose weight but mostly in the belly area. I can definitely help you lose weight which will reduce belly fat, too. Spot reduction is something that doesn’t really exist. Working with me you will learn what to do to lose fat.”
“Let’s get started!” she said with a big smile.
We started training right way from that day on. She was doing great. Destiny had lost almost twenty pounds so far.
Moments after we hung up the phone, she came rushing in. She looked serious and worried. It was the first time she didn’t give me a hug and kiss. I was sure something was wrong. I hoped nobody had died.
We sat down on the small sofa in the reception. I faced her but she looked down.
She said, “I came here today to say this in person; I didn’t want to send an email.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I can’t do this anymore. You helped me reduce belly size and feel better, but I’ve noticed that my thighs and glutes are shrinking, too. I didn’t sign up for this,” she said. She looked down, about to cry.
I listened to her quietly.
“I told you I liked my voluptuous body and my husband does, too. Thank you anyway.” She stood up and left.
" A flower doesn't know anything about beauty, but it is still beautiful."
Much love!
Valeria
THE MOTHER AND HER SON
One day, a mother is taking a walk around her neighborhood with a friend. They are engaged in an interesting conversation. The mother’s four-year-old son is inside of the stroller she is pushing.
The two women are gossiping about TV stars and their friends’ private lives.
It’s early in the morning. The neighborhood they live in is in the center of a big city. There are many intersections and cars driving on the roads nearby. They constantly have to stand and wait to cross at stop signs and stoplights.
At one point in their walk, their conversation gets so interesting that they don’t realize the stoplight is red. They cross the street when they shouldn’t and don’t look at the traffic. When they reach the other side of the street, the mother’s son starts to cry and move about uncomfortably in the stroller.
It takes the mother a few minutes to give him her attention. The conversation between the women has reached the best part: the TV star they’re talking about has taken a lover and his wife found out about it.
When the mother finally asks her son what is wrong and why he is fussing so loudly and unhappily, he says, “The light was red and you didn’t see it. You don’t love me?”
He questions whether his safety or her gossip is more important to her. Horrified, the mother realizes in that moment why he asked her that question.
************
Have you noticed that sometimes we are so engaged with our thoughts that we forget we have a body?
Most of the time, we don’t smell the scent of our shower soap; we don’t feel the texture of the toothpaste in our mouths; we don’t see or hear the bird singing in our window. We have no idea what our breakfast tasted like. This is because we are living in our thoughts most of the time. We forget that our bodies are much more interested in the present moment.
To illustrate the disconnect between the mother and her son in the story, I portrayed the mother as the talkative mind, and the body as the son in the stroller. The body is innocent and does not seem as rational as the mind, but it knows more about what makes us happy, healthy, and safe than the mind does.
When the body is uncomfortable, it constantly tries to call the attention of the mind to what is happening to it; when the mind keeps ignoring the body, diseases or even death are inevitable. The body has a holistic awareness for its needs. It knows how to thrive in happiness, and how to survive. It doesn’t need the mind as much as we “think” it does. The mind has no clue about holistic awareness, and to make things worse, it doesn’t know that it doesn’t know.
The nature of the mind in thoughts and possibilities is of constant, endless noise. The nature of the body is interconnectedness. It connects our physical and spiritual states harmoniously, given that we train our minds to allow it to do its job. That is the reason we see many people whose bodies don’t match their mental state. For example, people who talk on and on, and even write about health, but have an unhealthy body, people who say they believe in love and kindness, but live life dueling in hatred and selfishness, and those who say they are happy when they can’t smile. They seem to be living different lives, like joint twins who want to do different things but they can’t detach from each other. There is a clear disconnection.
When you listen to the body, you will notice that it will also direct you to what thoughts you give attention to. Those who desire to find harmony between body and mind, start by practicing a gentle and compassionate relationship with their bodies.
Next time you don’t remember if the sign was red or green when you crossed the street, it is time to revise your relationship with your body!
Much love!
Valeria
WHAT DOES MY WEIGHT HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
TO BE HEALTHY... IS TO BE WHOLE... IS TO BE HOLY!
Karen is an obese woman I train twice a week.
She is 30 years old, weighs 250 lbs and is 5’2”.
These numbers don’t say anything about her as a person. She is a painter who owns her own gallery.
The serenity in her eyes, and how she smiles for no reason, introduce her to me before she says her name.
She has been married for more than five years to a musician who is of normal weight. Her husband would come to pick her up after the sessions; that’s how I know he was in shape.
The conversation we had the first day we met left me pondering about life for days.
The question I ask all my clients before we begin is: What are your three main fitness goals?
This is how Karen answered my question:
“I only have one goal: to enjoy our workouts.”
I look at her as if she didn’t understand my question, and ask a more specific one:
“I understand, Karen. I will make sure the exercises are fun, but what I mean is, how many pounds to do want to lose?”
“Valeria, I don't care about the weight,” she says, smiling. “I just want to feel good during and after the workouts. It doesn’t matter if I don't lose any weight, really.” She ends her sentences looking at me with her big peaceful eyes and joyful smile.
I can’t believe this woman and how out of reality she is.
- Look at her size; she is obese, for God’s sake. She could die of a heart attack any moment. I talk to myself as my mind refuses to believe that no one can be peaceful or joyful with that body. It can’t be possible.
So I keep insisting. This time I try to force her to make a deal:
“Can we agree on losing 1- 2 lbs a week? How about that?”
She says to me with the same serene and happy look on her face:
“Valeria, dear, I think you don’t understand. I am fine with my weight. I do what I enjoy for work. I love my family and my friends and I am loved by them. I am so grateful that my weight doesn’t bother me at all. These workouts with you are just to get my body moving while I have fun.”
I still couldn’t understand her.
Then, I go home thinking about this and I remember one thought I had when I was a teenager. A thought that kept coming back throughout my life—that I would die young. I believed I would not reach the age of 30, despite being physically healthy.
Perhaps, intuitively, I knew that my heart could fail at any moment because of my lack of understanding of what life was really about—love and kindness.
My physical health without love never meant much.
Next week I will have another trainer / client story for you!
Much love!
Valeria
FITNESS AND JOY
A personal trainer in New York has a different way of conducting her training sessions.
She starts by asking each one of her clients a unique question.
They always answer it, but not the way she expects them to…
- Good morning, James!
- Are you fit for joy? – she says
James rushes to the floor and performs 40 push-ups… with a clap.
The trainer is impressed, but she wonders why the answer is push-ups.
- Good afternoon, Rose!
- Are you fit for joy?
Rose jumps on the treadmill and runs as fast as she can… for 30 minutes.
Wow. The trainer is very impressed, but she wonders why the answer is running.
- Good evening, Mr. Sanchez!
- Are you fit for joy?
Mr. Sanchez quickly performs 20 bodyweight squats and a squat hold for two minutes.
He is a 77-year-old man. This is stunning to the trainer.
She is making good money.
Her job is easier this way.
Her clients are losing weight and getting in shape… but she is becoming more and more intrigued.
She keeps asking them the FIT FOR JOY question, but they answer it by moving their bodies.
One day when she gets home, she goes straight to her room and in front of the mirror she asks herself:
- Am I fit for joy?
Before she even finishes the question, she is on the floor doing burpees, nonstop.
After that she is exhausted, but also very reflective.
She goes to sleep.
The next day, she wakes up questioning the situation:
WHAT DOES JOY HAVE TO DO WITH FITNESS?
To find out the answer to her question, she starts an experiment…
Much love!
Valeria
PARISIAN MACARON
Paris is renowned for its delicious cuisine, with world famous specialties such as Foie Gras, Duck Confit, Cheese or pastries.
Parisians love few things more than champagne, but one of those things is the Ladurée macaron.
I visited the legendary Ladurée last week. I was impressed by the tea rooms, which I heard is intimately tied to the history of the Ladurée family. It all began in 1862, when Louis Ernest Ladurée, a miller from the southwest of France, founded a bakery in Paris at 16 rue Royale.
The decoration of the pastry shop was entrusted to Jules Cheret, a famous turn-of-the-century
painter and poster artist.
Paris is truly the city of love, art, and delicacies.
One thing I know, writing and macarons don't match. I couldn't write anything the day after I ate all that sugar!
THE BEAUTY OF BEING YOURSELF
It’s a sunny afternoon.
I am watching swans and ducks swim in the lake.
A wonderful feeling of peace and joy fills my heart.
My breathing deepens. My body relaxes.
“I could stay here all day,” I say to myself.
Then, a question comes to mind:
“Why does watching these birds swim make me feel so peaceful and happy?”
I have no answer for a few minutes. I keep watching the birds move around.
Then comes a thought with an answer:
“It’s because they are free. It’s a sunny day and they are swimming in an open lake in whatever direction they choose to go.”
A mother with her child passes by me. The child laughs, pointing at the birds. They distracted me for moment.
My body is leaning against a wooden fence. I am at the top of a bridge looking down at the water.
The swimming birds have all my attention again.
It feels great!
It doesn’t take long for another thought to come up again. This time, as gracefully as the birds swimming in the water.
It says:
“Oh, I know. It’s the beautiful pattern they leave in the water as they move with freedom while being themselves.”
I step away from the fence, and walk with a smile on my face.
Did you leave a beautiful pattern somewhere today? :)
Much love!
Valeria
Hold on to the Roots
The Lucid Dream
I am climbing a high mountain.
Halfway to the top, it becomes slippery.
I can’t go farther.
The dust falls all over and around me. I can’t see anything.
I am the only witness to my struggle.
My hands desperately try to find something to hold on to.
The mountain is falling apart. So am I.
In the midst of the end, I hear a song:
“You won’t die – Don’t worry. Don’t worry. You won’t die.”
I doubt the song. “But I am about to.”
The song becomes louder and louder,
“You won’t die – Don’t worry. Don’t worry. You won’t die.”
Then, the song stops.
When I am about to fall, my hands find the roots of a tree.
I hold on to it.
I am safe. Just in time.
The piece of land uncovers the roots.
There is a tree above me.
A beautiful tree called LIFE.
The land disintegrates, so the dust falls on me.
The struggle blinds my eyes. I can only hear the song.
The doubt and the fear make me wonder.
I wonder about hope and love so I can understand life.
In the end, it was all meant to be.
To climb the mountain…
To struggle…
To doubt…
To fear…
To hear the song…
To hold on to the roots…
To hope…
To love…
To find the life which is always there, inside and outside the dream.
By Valeria Teles
Much love!
BENEFITS OF BUTTER
‘Good Fats’ and Their Health Benefits
Butter is delicious; it’s used in tons of baked and cooked goods, but it has also developed a bad reputation with nutritionists. Yes, butter is a saturated fat, but it contains a myriad of properties which are great for our health. According to certain research, it’s the overconsumption of carbohydrates, sugar, and sweeteners that are chiefly responsible for the epidemics of obesity and Type 2 diabetes. This is due to people cutting fat out of their diets (thinking that’s what they should be doing) and replacing it with excess carbohydrates and sugars that their bodies crave.
Butter contains a substance called Butyric Acid, which is a component of milk fat from animals. Butyrate, a form of Butyric acid, is linked to reducing the symptoms of inflammation in the digestive system and is used as a treatment for Crohn’s disease.
Butter is also super rich in conjugated linoleic acids (CLA) which have been found to support weight loss.
Here is an incredible helpful tip from David Brown:
TIP: CLA-rich food have many health benefits, while taking CLA supplements can be risky for your health. Choose natural sources of CLA instead of taking CLA supplements. If you want to get rid of some extra body fat, click here and try the science-proved fat burning inexpensive foods and ingredients you can buy at your local store.
Vitamins Found in Butter
Vitamin A:– the most abundant vitamin found in butter. Healthy levels of vitamin A can help reduce the chances of measles, cancers and Age-related macular degeneration(9).
Vitamin D:– helps absorb calcium in the body for strong bone maintenance (10).
Vitamin E: -Helps prevent cancer and coronary heart disease as well as eye problems and cognitive decline (11).
Vitamin B12:– ‘is required for proper red blood cell formation, neurological function, and DNA synthesis’(12)
Vitamin K2:– can help with osteoporosis and coronary heart disease (13).
Which Butter Is Best?
Grass- Fed Cow Butter
The type of feed dairy cows has had a huge effect on the butter that is produced. Grass fed butter comes from cows that have fed on, you guessed it; grass! It is ‘higher in many nutrients than butter from cows that are fed processed, grain-based feeds or conserved grass’(15). Some fat-soluble vitamins and antioxidants are also higher in grass-fed butter. This means your body will be supplied with many significant health benefits just from using grass fed butter rather than standard processed fed cow butter.
Omega-3 Enriched Butter
This omega-3 enhanced butter binds to cells which help regulate genetic functions. Providing proof that ‘omega-3 fats have been shown to help prevent heart disease and stroke, may help control lupus, eczema, and rheumatoid arthritis, and may play protective roles in cancer and other conditions’(16).
CLA Enriched Butter
Many studies have shown the benefits CLA enhanced butter has on animals (17, 18, 19). And a few studies conducted on humans have demonstrated that ‘CLA has been shown to exert various potent physiological functions such as anticarcinogenic, antiobesity, antidiabetic and antihypertensive properties’ (20). However, there are yet to be many specific studies that look at the human benefits of CLA-enriched butter on people’s health. But it is undeniably clear that CLA has a myriad of health benefits we sure could use!
Source: Healthy Holistic Living