BURNOUT: YOUR HEALING PRESENCE MATTERS
This is an insightful passage in “Burnout And Self-Care In Social Work: A Guidebook For Students And Those In Mental Health And Related Professions — 2nd Edition.” by Sarakay Smullens
— What Is Burnout? A Case Study
The inability to share our work with friends and loved ones and our own lack of awareness of the professional and personal cost of the inhumane violations we witness can lead to isolation, exhaustion, and hopelessness. An example follows from work with Connie, a second-year MSW student, placed in a prison setting for her fieldwork:
In her first year of graduate school, Connie excelled in both her academic work and her work with clients. However, as skilled as she was, certain cases in her second year of training caused her to feel ill and repulsed. During this period, Connie developed an ongoing skin condition that she had not had before graduate school. For reasons her doctors could not determine, large pustules began to erupt all over her arms.
Connie considered dropping out of graduate school. An English major in college, she was offered a job in a highly regarded public relations firm. It was an unsolicited offer, made by one of her former English professors who now worked in the firm. The job was described as “draining and pressured, but fun and lucrative.” Only the first half of this description seemed to apply to what awaited her as a social worker! Still, Connie decided to persist with her MSW degree and a placement that she knew would continue to ask a great deal of her. During her field placement in prison, Connie was assigned a client who was accused not only of embezzlement but also of killing his wife so that he could marry his mistress. James faced the death penalty. Connie was expected to work with him throughout her second year and then to return to the prison following graduation (as partial payment toward the scholarship and living stipend she had received from the center that employed her).
James had become very close to a priest who visited the prison weekly, and through this trusted relationship, Connie was assigned as James’s social worker. There was always a guard with Connie during her time with James, but he was a kind and discreet one, who liked James and was as unobtrusive as possible during their biweekly meetings. In their work together, Connie learned that James had been abandoned by his father when his mother was pregnant with him. She also learned that James’ mother was a drug-addicted prostitute who at times tried to be clean but could not maintain sobriety of any sort. Her pimp was a ruthless monster, but was the only available father figure during James’s formative years. In James’s words:
I learned everything awful from him, including how to treat women, but at least he was there. No one else was. He often made me scram- bled eggs for breakfast. No one else ever did that, and on the days I went to school, he was the one who took me. Then after school, he and I would have catches. This was the only fun I ever knew as a kid.
Not all inmates on death row become introspective. Obviously, some become more hardened, furious, and bitter, taking no responsibility for their actions. Some claim their innocence throughout their internment. And as we know from the latest DNA investigations and new, refined research, some are truly innocent, and their arrest, internment, and death are a travesty. But none of these examples was the case with James. He knew that all he had done was vile, and he was deeply sorry. He had no doubt that the kindness and love shown him by the priest made this self-reflection, assessment, and attempts at repentance possible. In his words, “Father John was the first man in my life to be kind and decent in every aspect of his dealings with others.” James added, “Plus, Father brought Connie into my world, and she has been a blessing.”
With Connie as his social worker, James was able to recount all of his ruthless horror; and Connie learned, through superb supervision, to listen, care, and show the compassion that only she and Father John had ever given to James. She learned the importance of a coping strategy her professors and supervisor referred to as “compassionate judgment.” In her words, “What James did was awful, horrific, but during his most important formative years, ‘awful and horrific’ was all he knew.”
There were many appeals to save James’s life, and Father John and Connie always wrote and testified on his behalf, but James would not be spared. In the second year of Connie’s employment at the prison, James died in the electric chair. Father John and Connie were allowed to be with him for an hour before his walk to the death chamber. They promised to look right at him through the glass as he took his final breath. And they did.
Through this work with James, Connie grew to understand that in her future as a social worker she would not be able to erase the horrors many of her clients faced as children or their full impact. What she could do, however, was provide a healing presence to her clients. She could be there with them, hear and understand them, believe in them, and advocate for them. Further, through her strong social work relationship with James, Connie forged a new definition of forgiveness that extended well beyond her work with clients. In her words, “I learned the essential difference between ‘to condone’ and ‘to forgive,’ and that one way to forgive is to work hard to understand why people do what they do, as well as how they developed to be the human beings they have become.”
WHAT IF YOU TRUSTED DIVINE INTELLIGENCE TO GUIDE YOUR LIFE?
Here is an insightful passage in “Life Is Just A Ride!: A Map To Help You Remember The Truth That Is Already Inside You.” by Jocelyne Grzela
— Respect and love yourself, your body. Do what makes you feel good. Love and accept yourself just the way you are. Your body, your emotions, they’re all perfect, and so is everyone else’s. Accept that we’re all different. Give yourself and others permission to just be, and you will no longer have the need to judge, blame, and criticize yourself or others. You will find that you no longer have the need to be right and the need to make anyone else wrong. You will replace the tendency to dominate with one of allowing others to choose what’s best for them. Everyone has a strong sense of what they want and what their limits are. That applies to all people in your life, including your children. In the words of the poet Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you...
When you become aware that you are being judgmental of yourself or others and you’re about to impose a rule, consider saying nothing. Instead, switch to observing your feelings and actions. Be at peace with what you observe. Instead of reacting in a defensive way when you notice an irritating person or situation, just be with the feeling you experience at that moment, and accept whatever comes without labeling or defending it. Simply pay attention to the feeling moving through your body without judging it. Become the observer of the character you are playing. Monitor your performance, and ask yourself, “what’s the most loving thing I can do or say here?”
What if you stopped interfering and allowed life to unfold as it should? What if you trusted that the same intelligence that is directing the universe is also guiding and directing you and everyone else without your having to interfere? Instead of going through the rule book to decide what’s right, try closing it, and observe your life experiences fall perfectly into place. As a result, you will become more loving, kinder, more respectful, more powerful, more mindful, and that’s what will be reflected back to you. What do you want to see in the mirror?
We live in a world of duality. The belief system we have carried with us since the story of Adam and Eve promotes duality and judgment. We went from having eternal life to experiencing death, from having abundance to not having enough, to living the illusion that there is a beginning and an end. This story promotes duality, meaning two-ism or seeing the whole as somehow divided. Similarly, the word divided has two parts: di like duo means two, and vided means seen; together, they mean seeing two.
With yin and yang, everything occurs in pairs of opposites, but the opposites always function in unity. We learn through contrast. For us to know beauty, we must also know the concept of ugliness. To know if someone is tall, he or she must be compared to a short person, and vice versa. All these beliefs depend on opposites. Opposites give meaning to each other. Male is the opposite of female; happiness is the opposite of suffering, and life is the opposite of death. We must experience one to know the other. Both are essential and inseparable. Darkness and light, left and right, front and back, up and down, hot and cold, water and ice, heaven and hell, cannot be separated. They are the same thing at different degrees of vibration. Accept that we are both, a human personality, and a perfect divine being coexisting in this illusion of duality.
When we accept both opposites, without criticism, we realize that they are perfect oneness, coexisting in this illusion of duality. Accept both sides, without judgment, and let the illusion be.
LET IT GO & LET IT HEAL: ENERGY FLOWS AND TRANSFORMS IN THE NOW
Here is an insightful passage in “The Aquarian Healer: A BrightStar Empowerment.” by Irma Kaye Sawyer
— Your NOW moment is so rich with possibility if you could but fully open to it. Your consciousness is the vehicle to different directions and dimensions, your past and future are stars in your own galaxy.
Perhaps the moment now is too painful to face or too scary, and you feel yourself checking out of it. There is no blame in this. It is just that the “gold” to be mined is on your current planet of presence.
As we have shared with you before, it is possible to lead a very “clean” life vibrationally and still have health challenges which may be more of a karmic condition, speaking hypothetically, as this is always a case-by-case basis.
There is also a known correlation between physical health and spiritual sovereignty, in that as you become more self-reliant in all ways, including your health, you no longer depend upon medical doctors or other authority figures for the ultimate decisions regarding your own health. It is preferred to work with medical professionals that accept and respect the intuitive/inner guidance that you may receive on your own behalf. You all have an “inner physician” that is wise and constant.
Beloveds, we understand the feeling of karmic unraveling, and the sentiment of “when will it end?!” It is good to know that there is an end to pain and illusion. The minute you set one foot on the path of self-awakening, there is tremendous support for you.
As angel Ariel wisely guided, it is wise to “stop processing.” What this means is that yes, you are moving through experiences. It’s what you think about them that makes the difference. Invite ease and Grace back into your experience—struggling keeps them at bay.
One effective strategy is to no longer identify yourself as being broken or defective. You are returning to your original, perfected state of ONEness and divine consciousness. Seriousness can keep you in lower dimensions, while humor expands you and opens your possibilities. This cosmic detour into experience that you have taken is not an accident, nor is it in vain. You are loved.
Dear ones, as you become more aware of how your mind operates, you can assemble and disassemble certain structures at will. Though it may seem that certain energies and beliefs run deep, it is good to remember that nothing that is untrue about you is permanent.
— In terms of healing at a body/mind level, forgiveness of self and others is one of the most powerful practices that exists. It is helpful to understand that it is a truth that everyone is operating (acting/reacting) from a consciousness level that reflects their karma environment, conditioning, and so forth.
Though mind may often think, “Why don’t they just do such-and-such differently and/or make a different choice?” it is not always so easy to do, as it does not exist in their “view” as an option. An option, for example, that may come much easier for you.
If the actions of others have caused pain or harm, it is difficult to deny. Anger is often an appropriate response as an initial act of self-preservation. The issue then may become the later resentment or “stuckness” of the energy that follows.
To intentionally practice and observe non- forgiveness of others in its way, can be as harmful or even more so than the harmful act itself, especially over time. It is a tendency of mind to not let go as a punitive measure, but the harm is most actually turned inwards towards itself.
Holding on to anger (or resentment) is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else —you are the one who gets burned. —Buddha
To forgive is to LET GO and bring more energy into the NOW moment, the center of the most rapid reconfiguration of energy and healing. It is true, however, that this state cannot be forced upon the self or others, and may have its own life/time cycle. It is possible, however, to speed this up by self-reflection, meditation, and other viable spiritual practice.
What is commonly misunderstood about karma is that it may not necessarily draw a particular soul to an individual in the future based on the “harm/forgiveness” dynamic, but it does possibly set up a pattern of energy that will be experienced, until it is recognized and released.
Dear ones, it is true that you have both a 3D physical existence and a much higher spiritual existence occurring simultaneously. As you awaken and grow in conscious awareness, you may be more aware of your multidimensional self. There are some who seek to escape the trials of earthly life by hanging out in the higher dimensions, which may cause a neglected physical existence. There is a subtle addictive element that may exist here as well, as a means to avoid the discomfort of everyday life. On the other side of that equation, there are beings who ignore their spiritual nature altogether and only live to feed their whims and appetites. It is about finding the balance while still in the human “space suit.”
CONTINUAL TRANSFORMATION IS THE DANCE OF LIFE
These are some insightful passages in “The Seven Graces of Ageless Aging: How To Die Young as Late in Life as Possible” by Jason Elias
— Releasing our constrictive fears can transform our angst into awe, gratitude, and deep appreciation for all that we’ve lived and all that we are becoming. Levity about our mortality may even emerge. As Ram Dass once said, “Death is absolutely safe. Nobody ever fails at it.”
In our American culture that often celebrates the young and casts off its old, the fact of impermanence, of certain death, often challenges the old to hold onto their vanished youth. Think of the old woman whose hands reveal her age but her Botoxed face has no wrinkles. It’s unnatural at least, and some would say desacralizes the body, the natural growing younger towards death. Some cultures celebrate wrinkles on an old face as the signs of richly earned experience, the roadmap of a life well-lived. We will all leave our bodies one day. What if we could embrace our waning physique and see the beauty behind the façade?
There is a great peace inherent in simply being, a state in which what we do is less important than simply being who we are.
This reminds me of an old favorite joke:
Two men bump into each other on the street and realize that their sons used to be good friends.
“So how’s your boy Joey?” one asks.
“He can’t seem to hold on to a job, can’t find a good relationship! I hope he finds his way. How is Steven doing?”
The other father looks up and explains, “He’s doing something!”
In This is Getting Old: Zen Thoughts on Aging with Humor & Dignity, Susan Moon shares the story of a dharma sister, someone who, after 35 years of diligent Zen practice and service, developed Alzheimer’s and began to struggle in her relations with family and friends. When she stayed close to the Zen center, however, and her practice, she remained totally present, meditative, and could simply be. Her beingness took her out of her mind and into the present moment.
A friend told me a similar story about visiting a beloved mentor who had begun to show serious signs of dementia. She seemed herself though she did not recognize the former students who had come to visit her. When they engaged her, however, in memories of their study together, she brightened and tapped into the self that her students had known. Her eyes glistened with aliveness and her ability to be fully present shone through. She did not have to think about it; she was it!
Derived from a Buddhist teaching, “‘wabi-sabi’ is a Japanese expression for the beauty of impermanence, the imperfection of things that are worn or frayed or chipped through use. Objects that are simple and rustic, like an earthenware tea-bowl, and objects that show their age and use, like a wooden bannister worn smooth by many hands are beautiful.”
There’s also the story of the Zen potter who had crafted the perfect bowl but finding no imperfections became very upset, unable to consider his work acceptable. He chose instead to break the perfect bowl and glue it back together to give it the true beauty that he had envisioned through its imperfect being.
I’m remembering an evening at the Rubin Museum in New York that also illustrates inevitable impermanence. I watched, mesmerized, as a group of Tibetan monks completed a gorgeous floor painting with colored sands that they had created over many weeks. They prayed over it, honoring its grand beauty, and then ceremoniously scattered the sand, laughing all the while, as a metaphoric celebration of impermanence.
This story illustrates that in its continual transformation from one state to another, the world is exactly as it should be:
Many years ago a woman called Sono lived in a little town in Japan. Her devout heart and compassionate spirit had won her the respect and admiration of many followers, and fellow Buddhists often traveled long distances to seek her advice. One day a weary traveler approached Sono to ask what he could do to put his mind at peace and his heart at rest. Sono’s advice was simple and straightforward: “In the morning and in the evening, whenever anything occurs to you, say, “Thanks for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever!” For an entire year, the man faithfully followed her advice, repeating from morning until evening, “Thanks for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever!” But still, his mind was not at peace nor was his heart at rest. Thoroughly discouraged, he again made the long journey to see Sono. “I’ve done everything you suggested,” he said, “but my mind is not at peace and my heart is not at rest. Tell me— what should I do now?”
As Sono replied, “Thanks for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever!” Hearing these words the traveler was enlightened and returned home, his mind at peace and his heart at rest.
My favorite in the book is:
“Love is love, not to be defined or described by the mind as exclusive or inclusive. Love is its own eternity: it is the real, the supreme, the immeasurable.” —Jiddu Krishnamurti, The First and Last Freedom
THE HEALING JOURNEY WITHIN
An insightful passage in “The Healing Journey: A Guide to Self-Discovery” by Vernette V. Ayers
— The philosophy of Yoga is about self-discovery and self-realization. The principles of Ayurveda promote a daily practice of self-healing. To put our health and wellness in anyone else’s hands but our own, first and foremost, is an occurrence we rarely see supported today.
The modern-day health and wellness industry is full of claims that there is one drug, therapy, diet, superfood, workout, method, treatment, routine, product, program, service, or overall solution that will heal you and all your ailments. The idea that there could be just one thing that you haven’t tried yet and is the answer to everything that ails you plays into a number of factors—the primary one being a desire for there to be just one thing outside of you in the first place.
Where my philosophy on healing begins is in the very foundation of who we are as human beings. We are not just physical, and yet we are absolutely physical. We are not just emotional, and yet we are absolutely emotional. We are not just mental, and yet there is no doubt we have a psychological component as well. And finally, the element of our humanness that I often find missing in the wellness market is that we are also spiritual beings and that component is equal in importance to each of the above. When so many of us are willing to buy into a single solution that claims to satisfy our health and wellness goals but only addresses one component of who we are as human beings, we can’t really be that surprised at the long-term inefficacy.
In addition, addressing only one aspect of our whole being is essentially limiting our healing potential. The healing journey is vast, and wellness is most thoroughly achieved by exploring multiple approaches to health and wellness. As we learn more about ourselves and grow through this process, effective methods and approaches will change and evolve along with us, just as different teachers, support systems, and benefactors can show up when we need them.
It must be said the idea of incorporating the disciplines of Yoga and Ayurveda is in no way meant to replace what we have learned with modern-day science, technology, psychology, and medicine. In fact, it would be antithetical to believe so, as these ancient disciplines encourage us to constantly learn, grow, and evolve as we move forward in our lives.
For those of you diagnosed with serious illness and/or guided by medical professionals along your journey to health, I encourage you to explore this book and any other method you choose to use, while fully disclosing everything you do with your providers. As already implied, none of this is about choosing one solution over another. It is about enabling our own evolution of body, mind, and spirit so that we can discover and support the healing journey that is already within us, while utilizing all of the gifts and resources at our disposal, be it inspired by Eastern, Western, ancient, or modern-day principles.
What is fascinating about the studies of Yoga and Ayurveda is that contemporary science seems to be catching up more recently. The studies of neuroscience, psychology, metaphysics, behavioral economics, and on and on often result in discoveries that seem to reflect theories already explored in many ancient texts. To further dive into the modern science behind meditation, the practice of gratitude, creating new neural pathways, theories on emotional health, and the power of mind-set, please explore the many scientific and medical journals, books, programs, and podcasts on these topics. This book is intended to help you understand these principles on a practical, intimate, and fundamental level so right away you can begin applying simple tools in your daily life.
LEARNING TO CENTER AND GROUND YOURSELF
An insightful passage in “Gateway to Healing: A Guide to Your Happiness Journey” by Heather Anderson Kokx
— How do you become grounded?
The easiest way to become grounded is to become aware of your feet. Feel the texture beneath your feet. Wiggle your toes if you are having a hard time connecting to the earth below you. We completely lose touch with our feet even though we use them all day long, every day. They do a lot of work. That’s why a foot massage feels so good. Our brains turn off, and we are in the moment with our feet. When we bring our awareness to our feet, we get out of our heads and become more aware of our bodies.
Learning the tool of becoming centered and grounded at a moment’s notice is so powerful. When we are centered and grounded, we control ourselves, and it doesn’t matter what is going on around us. You can be in a moment of fear or anger and still have control. The trick is to take a moment to find your breath, find your feet, and then choose your next move with intention. Chaos can surround you, but that chaos doesn’t have control over you.
I don’t mind if something happens that distracts us or makes us all laugh in my yoga classes. I take these opportunities to guide everyone back to their breath and their feet, strengthening their tools of grounding and centering. I teach them when they fall out of a pose to use the opportunity to take a breath, find their feet, and start again.
Our lives are full of stress and chaos. Family issues are always ongoing. Day-to-day life details, such as endless errands and dishes and phone calls, can be frustrating. If we let these things control us, we no longer have control of our reactions. Being able to breathe and be in your body is a huge asset.
Imagine you are waiting in line at the grocery store. It is after work, and you are tired and hungry. The line moves slowly because the clerk is chatting up a customer about their weekend plans like old buddies. There is a screaming child in front of you. You start to feel tension building, and you feel your body resisting the situation, wishing it were different. You feel tightness in your head and shoulders as the problem continues on and on with no relief. And then you remember Three Deep Breaths. With each exhale, you bring your breath down to your feet. You even close your eyes during the breaths to switch your perspective. And after the third breath, the situation isn’t as dire. You think to yourself, “At least the clerk is a nice person.” You find compassion for the mother of the screaming child, who is probably just as tired, hungry, and frustrated as you. And you remember that it won’t stay this way forever. Everything changes, and eventually, the line will move. You will get to the register, pay for your groceries, and be heading home.
Learning to center and ground takes time. They are like muscles in your body that become stronger and stronger as you use them. The more you use them, the more they stay with you daily. Practice deep breaths and being aware of your feet. Play with centering while you are waiting in line or a meeting. Play with grounding when you are driving in your car or watching TV. The more you use these tools, the easier it will be to call on them when you need them the most….
THE JOURNEY WITH ALZHEIMER’S TRANSFORMED ME
An insightful passage in “Sacred Stories: A Care Giver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s” by Ilana Rowe
— In the field of transpersonal psychology, we often speak about transcending ego: shedding the persona to become more of who we are, arriving at essence as we walk in this physical world, and living from a place of authenticity. It is a concept that most of us don’t fully understand and this journey is rarely an easy process. Still, it is something that is aspired to by many of us on a spiritual path.
I remember one of my colleagues, who I will call John. He was a transpersonal scholar, a researcher, and a sweet, gentle man who embodied a spiritual path that blended heart with intellect, scholarship, and learning. John announced his retirement two years early so that all of us could be ready for it. Unfortunately, he became ill with an aggressive form of cancer immediately upon leaving his position.
During his illness, John emailed his colleagues frequently with updates on his health. The researcher in him provided graphic details, both scientific and personal. We experienced a man who was metaphorically shedding his skin, a man whose body was compromised—his hair, his ability to speak, but not his voice or Soul.
This horrible illness led to his death within two years. At the time I thought about how John, a prominent researcher in the field of spiritual-based psychology, was being forced to transcend the ego, to arrive at his essence through his illness. There was irony in the notion that a transpersonal researcher, who teaches about transcending ego, was being given the ultimate test of transcendence.
Elizabeth Lesser in her book Broken Open shares a conversation with Ram Dass, a well-known spiritual teacher, that gives insight into this process following his stroke.
Lesser said: “I think that the stroke made you more human. More of a real human being and more an eternal Soul—both at the same time.”
He responded, “Grace. Stroke is heavy grace. …before—happy grace…love grace…good things kept happening to me. Then, stroke…lose things…also grace…fierce grace.” [Elizabeth asked,] “What did you lose? What did fierce grace take away?” “Ego.…Ego breaks open—then you see who you really are”
Ram Dass explained this in his own book. His attachment to ego shifted because the stroke was unbearable to his ego and the ego began to die and he began to see life through the lens of Soul.
I believe that Hal became more and more essence—Soul—as his Alzheimer’s progressed. I could see it in his vulnerability, especially in the last year of his life. I could see it in his photos during his celebration of life. Like Ram Dass, he was becoming essence and was not at all attached to things related to ego—except that his journey was much slower.
I know that I was in a process of letting go of protocol and expectation as a result of our journey through Alzheimer’s. I wondered if Hal were as well. I knew that he had to trust—me, Spirit, life. For the cognitively intact person, all of this is material for spiritual growth. Even though Hal was unable to speak at a meta-level of consciousness about what he experienced as the disease evolved, I have often wondered how much he understood at some other level and how it changed him. Do we stop growing once our mind becomes impaired, at least according to societal norms? Do we stop growing on a spiritual level? Is there an awareness that is hidden from more rational people?
I know that I have grown as a result of living with a man with Alzheimer’s. It has provided me with the opportunity to watch my beloved slowly lose his abilities—to shed his skin—slowly, over a decade. I was a witness to his authentic movement toward Soul, toward essence. I had the opportunity to watch his body and mind slowly decay and to watch him move into essence. He began dropping outward appearances, and all I could do was be present and mindful to this process. It was a learning experience for my Soul as well. I learned to accept him and my own humanness more fully. It has allowed me to surrender to what is and to love more unconditionally—to serve him in unselfish ways. I learned to give love and to recognize love through simple smiles. It taught me to simply live in the moment and accept life as it is.
The journey with Alzheimer’s transformed me...
STORIES REMOVE US FROM PRESENCE, FROM NATURE
An insightful passage in “Tracking Lions, Myth, and Wilderness in Samburu” by Jon Turk
— We evolved to be a big-brained, social, mostly but not completely co-operative, storytelling animal. Which is where we are today. Your body is fixed in space and time; you are at work, riding the subway, washing the dishes, changing diapers, whatever. But your mind is free to roam into fairyland, or anger-land, to a promising future, or to relive that nasty confrontation with your boss two years ago. On average, each person flashes 2,000 short, self-invented daydreams through their heads every day. Most of these mini-narratives run 10 to 20 seconds before that diversion is diverted by something else – a red light in traffic, a ringing phone, a talking co-worker, a crying baby, or the realization that we should be doing what we were doing before the daydream started.
And when we are not inventing our own stories, we are entranced by the narratives that others feed us through books, the internet, TV, conversations, sermons, advertisements, politics, and any of the above all mixed together: conspiracy theories, tales of good and evil, heroes and villains, lovers and rapists, gods and devils. While stories can sometimes distract us from the present and the natural world, they also guide those aspiring to create real change through entrepreneurship. Understanding the Georgia LLC formation process can be a story in itself, illustrating a vital step towards grounding your business ideas in reality.
In 2018, the average American spent five hours a day in front of the TV, 31 minutes absorbing media on tablets, and 1 hour 39 minutes on phones. Add in radio and surfing the net, and Americans logged about 10 hours and 39 minutes each day consuming digital mythology. Intertwined with the sheer number of hours spent glued to gizmos, each person is exposed to 5,000 ads per day; that’s five per minute if we sleep eight hours. Each ad is a mini-narrative trying to convince us that we need to buy this or that to look good, feel good, smell good, attract mates, find a job, approach nirvana, stay slim, or become rich.
Eighty percent of conversations among adults are tales of other people’s lives: gossip. Dr. Nicholas Emler, professor of social psychology at the London School of Economics, argues that “swapping of juicy bits of information is fundamental to being human and separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Baboons and chimps have complex societies because individuals know a lot about each other. But because they cannot talk, they rely on direct observations and so they are limited to groups of around 50. The one thing that sets us apart is that we can talk to each other with complex syntax. We exchange social information. We form much larger and more complex societies than other animals because we effectively gossip (tell stories about one another).
Today, storytelling is so integral to our humanity that a 1-year-old toddler will create the fiction that his teddy bear is tired, put it to bed and gently tuck in the covers. At 2, a little girl will set chairs in a row to represent a car and drive her mom to school. When 3-year-old children gather to create mini-theatre, they pitch their voices differently when playing the king, the queen, the baby or the cat. Starved and half-dead, children play-acted imaginary scenes in the death camps at Auschwitz. When we grow up to become adults, we cry as the screen hero is adrift in the desert, sweat when a heroine faces the bad guy’s sword, and become aroused when the two meet and embrace, even though we know that these stories are fiction repeated by speeding electrons and photons. We also buy cosmetics when an advertising executive creates a narrative that we will be happier if we look or smell different, crave gizmos or exotic vacations when told to do so, and follow religious or political leaders who spin all sorts of mythologies about loving, hating or killing people we don’t know.
Adding to the negative, the stories in our heads form our often-damaging sense of ego, frequently create marital strife and allow us to amplify existing misery or wallow in imagined misery. Stories remove us from presence, the NOW.
In the United States, the most opulent country ever in the history of humankind, almost 750,000 people died from opioid overdoses between 1999 and 2017 – yes, because of lost jobs and whatnot, but more directly from the stories they generated in their heads about lost jobs and whatnot. Our think- too-much-know-it-all brains sure know how to spin stories that help us survive on the savannah, or that create wonder and awe, but the same brains are also quite proficient at generating confusion, anger, hatred, and misery.
THE HEALING POWER OF REIKI
Here is an insightful passage in “Heaven's Guiding Touch: True Accounts from the Spirit World.” by Tammy Moyen
— One day my girlfriend come over to spend the weekend with me, I recall her telling me about a class her mother was taking called Reiki. She tried to explain to me that it can help heal but she herself did not understand what it actually was. I became extremely intrigued to learn about this art that was able to heal. I registered for a couple of courses where I acquired my first and second level in one year.
Let me give you a brief description of what this healing energy actually is. Reiki is a Japanese technique used for calming, stress reduction, relaxation, and it also helps to promote healing. The more you work with this energy, the stronger you become. When I use this energy I’m able to feel it flowing through me, my hands feel very prickly as the energy flows through them and they begin to get hot and heat up. It was on October 10th of 1998 that I received my third and fourth level Reiki training becoming a Reiki Master Teacher. In requiring all my levels I was now able to teach and pass on this sacred art to others. I recall my Reiki instructor Mark telling me after he was finished with the sacred attunements, I would experience something, but he was unable to explain what exactly that meant. He told me “You will see,” and that we would talk soon. I drove home to visit my parents that night, we had planned to spend the night and leave the next day. I recall very clearly waking up in the middle of the night, sitting straight up in bed feeling panicked. I began blowing on my hands as they felt like they were on fire, I didn’t know what was happening to me, then remembering what Mark told me, it was at that moment I realized that this was happening because of the sacred attunement I had acquired from my class.
After acquiring my third and fourth levels of training, I noticed a difference in the movement and power of this healing energy as it feels more intense and powerful. I would always ask for feedback from the individuals that would come to me for healing energy and I found that in using this sacred art, I was able to heal a headache. One of my friends had a very bad earache that was lasting for days, I gave her Reiki energy directly on her ear and the pain disappeared from her, she told me it never returned. One of my friend’s daughters had to get her back operated on as her spine was fused together; she was only a young teenager at the time. Her mother called me over and asked if I could give her Reiki as she was in a great deal of pain in the following days after her surgery. When I gave her this healing energy she informed me that she could feel it going right through her cast.
Another friend of mine had severe back pain that was being caused by her sciatic nerve, she pleaded with me to come to her house feeling desperate from the pain and discomfort. As I gave her a treatment. I made a point of using a special symbol placing it on her injury, this would then allow the energy to keep flowing as long as it was needed. The next day I received a call from her explaining how she awoke in the middle of the night to feel an intense heat that was directed on her sciatic nerve. She told me it felt like a ball of fire. The next day when she woke up she felt that the pain had relieved itself tremendously, and was able to move around so much better.
On another occasion a client explained to me that she was experiencing a weird flutter sensation in around her heart, you can feel it if your hand is placed there. This was continuing for days she explained. As I placed my hands directly on her heart, eventually I felt what she was experiencing. It felt exactly the same as if your body is having a muscle spasm. I received a call a week later and was told at that time, she was no longer experiencing these symptoms.
One another occasion a client explained to me that his feet were in pain all the time. He explained that he was told about Reiki being effective and thought he should give it a try. I could visually see that both feet were swollen. As I began treating his feet one at a time he told me that he could feel the pain leaving his feet during our session. A week later I was able to confirm that he walked around the exhibition for a whole day without any pain at all and in the days after he found that he was free of the pain he had been experiencing.
I always encourage my clients to seek medical help if it’s needed, I’m not a medical professional. One should never doubt the power of this energy.
Through the years I found that Reiki does live up to all of its teachings and really does have amazing attributes to help one heal. I now have over twenty years of experience working with Reiki energy.
Upon taking my courses I never realized just how instrumental working with energy would be for my future until I found myself at Barb Powell’s workshop where I was about to discover my ability to communicate with the afterlife.
EMBODYING THE CREATRIX
An insightful passage in “Creatrix Rising: Unlocking The Power Of Midlife Women” by Stephanie Raffelock
— In my lifetime, I’ve witnessed a steady and accelerated evolution of women that begs the question: Is this a Darwinian moment?
When my mother approached older age, she told me that growing old was a terrible thing. For her generation, this was not an isolated attitude. America is a young country that values youth and sexiness above substance and depth. In her generation, how else was a midlife woman to feel but used up and disposable? The perception of the old crone has long been supported by advertising. If advertising only shows older women as feeble, frail, and unattractive, whether that’s true or not, the attitude infects the culture, and we begin to take the images as truth. Worse, if advertising never shows an image of a woman over the age of forty-five or fifty, the unspoken message is that she is useless and invisible.
Is the way that our culture views older women uniquely American? In other countries, where they dance the tango up to the very end of life, mature women are not defeminized or desexualized the way they are here in America. Here, we tout anti-aging cures as if age were a disease, and women spend billions of dollars on keeping the face of youth for as long as possible, our identities and our creativity tied to some false form of beauty.
A friend who is about to turn forty told me a story that illustrates our biased American way of seeing older women. She and her husband were vacationing in Italy and had stopped at a shop across the street from a beach. Returning to their rental car, they found it wouldn’t start, so they attempted to push it out of the parking space to roll downhill, where they’d seen a garage. As my friend’s husband pushed on the car and she steered, a woman came running across the street from the beach to help. Appearing to be in her late sixties, the woman was wearing a bikini and sandals. She was tanned and lean, my friend told me, but her skin was crepey and her musculature ropey. A little bit of a belly sagged over the bikini bottom. Without any conversation, the woman placed her hands on the car next to my friend’s husband and helped to push. Once the car was out of the parking spot and set to roll downhill, the woman ran back to the beach, with a quick wave.
“What was so striking about the incident,” my friend said, “was the lack of self-consciousness this older woman had about being in her bikini. She ran to help with the same amount of strength and determination of a much younger woman, only she did it unabashedly, unashamed in her bikini.”
Hearing the story, the word “unashamed” landed with a painful thud because I knew that here, in America, we shame women for growing older rather than revere them. A seven- ty-year-old woman publicly enjoying the sensual delights of the sunshine in a bikini would be a less likely scenario here than in other places in our world.
All over the planet, women like Angela Merkel, Theresa May, and Jacinda Adern are the heads of government. They’ve proven that women are strong leaders, yet Americans are not yet inspired to elect a female president, though I believe we’re getting closer.
This brings me back to my feeling that a Darwinian moment is upon us as we collectively engage in acknowledging that a revolution of creativity, self-worth, and courage is taking place with women—especially older women, who are beginning to embody the emerging archetype of the Creatrix.
To embody the Creatrix is to learn her nature and her qualities. By nature, the Creatrix is a sovereign soul, a seeker, tapping into a higher vibration and consciousness that has always informed her, but now she loudly speaks and proclaims the truth of that higher octave. She weaves the qualities of creativity, courage, self-love, and acceptance along with the practice of gratitude into a pattern that is reshaping the collective consciousness of older women and how they are seen by the culture. Her strength comes from a knowing, a spiritual knowledge that she is the constant consciousness that is as old and wise as the universe. She no longer strives to prove herself through the trappings of youth but remains an uplifter to younger women…
MOVING FROM FEAR TO LOVE
An insightful passage in “Soulful & Successful Business: Spiritual Guidance for Succeeding in Your Own Business” by Nicole Bayliss
— The Universe loves you. It created you and it only ever wants what is best for you. The Universe wants you to transform into the highest version of yourself. So even if things are happening that bring up fear in the form of negative emotions, there is always a loving reason behind it, even if you can’t see that yet. When we choose to see all that happens through the filter of love and not fear, it takes on a whole new meaning.
Fear exists to some extent in all of us. If you are feeling fear or a sense of lack in any area of your life, you are not alone. It’s normal and it’s human to have fear and to believe in lack. Fearing that there’s not going to be enough is a protective mechanism of the ego that keeps us vigilant.
Fear isn’t something we can push away or wish away. Telling yourself “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I’m not going to feel this way” is pointless and self-sabotaging. The only way to conquer our fear is to acknowledge it and accept it. Acceptance is love in action. Acceptance creates a vibration that connects us to the Universal Source. Accepting our fear is the first step in moving towards love and abundance.
When I started my business, I felt divinely guided to do what I wished to do and I felt grateful that I’d discovered my purpose. I felt grateful for the miracle of the 500 reiki deals. But that’s where my spiritual connection ended. I thought of the Universe as saying to me:
“OK, I’ve guided you to your purpose and what you need to do, so get on with it. My job is done”.
I didn’t understand that it would provide ALL that I needed in every moment of time if I kept my intentions.
The Reiki deals were beginning to come to an end and while I had to pay clients, there weren’t enough to provide me with enough income. I defaulted to “lack” thinking, and I began to think fearful thoughts. I needed to manifest more business. I was about to learn even more about the ingenuity of the Universe and a whole lot more about myself!
I proactively began to meditate and pray each day. As I accepted all as it was, I became aware that this quieter phase was a gift and not a loss. I began to sense that my path may not be as a traditional counselor. More and more I felt guided to follow my heart. I had been gaining a lot of insights and healing knowledge, and I felt inspired to write my first book Five Steps to Finding Love, based on the work I had been doing with the women who were coming to see me who were looking for a loving relationship.
Once I was clear on my intention, the person I needed to help me arrived at my practice door! Referred to me for Reiki by my client Veronica, her friend Daniel didn’t resonate with Reiki that much, but he had just the skills I needed to help me publish and market my first book. Daniel became an important part of my business for many years, as he had knowledge and skills I didn’t have. When the book was published, I was surprised by how many people wanted to buy it and even more surprised by how many more people were coming to see me.
For years I had been reading the tarot for myself and friends but had never considered it to be a “bona fide” modality to use as a counselor and reiki practitioner. I had come to know a healing practitioner called Jacqui who rented a room in the same building as me. She asked me to do a reading for her which she found helpful, and she suggested I bring it into my practice to help my clients. I felt resistant, fearing judgment and not being taken seriously. There is still so much judgment and misunderstanding about the tarot, but I trusted her suggestion, and her guidance was right. I began to draw to me people who needed life path guidance.
A year later, during a period of financial stress, another inspiration dropped in during a prayer and meditation session, to teach Reiki. Yet again, I was sent just the person I needed at the time. I met a Reiki Master who wanted to learn how to read the tarot. We agreed on a contra-deal - she would teach and attune me to Reiki 3 and I would teach her to read the tarot. Within weeks I was teaching groups. My income went up considerably and so did my level of fulfillment and purpose.
At every step of the path, the Universe sent me what I needed. The Universe sent me the means to find the resources I needed to start my business, it sent me new ideas and inspirations to keep going, it sent me the perfect people who were helpful and inspirational at the right time, and eventually, it sent me more clients and more money.
And believe me, if you feel a sense of inspiration and excitement about your business, then you will receive Universal help too. Universal connection is the way! You are always supported by a loving Universe. Everything that happens to us is created by a loving Universe, even the so-called negative stuff. Help is all around you when you decide to live your purpose. You are not alone. The Universe is wanting to work with you and to help you.
NATURE’S SOPHISTICATION IS OMNISCIENT IN ITS SIMPLICITY
Here is an insightful passage in “How to Soothe Stress & Anxiety: #WisdomWednesday Whimsies” by Polo Reo Tate
— Yesterday morning I sat, cradling a hot cup of coffee to watch out the window as street-sweepers whisked away piles of vibrant, multicolored leaves. It had been years since I had experienced the rather distinct midwestern change of seasons. It had been years since I had felt the wet summer winds of the lakeshore— those mere months before had caressed my skin like a French kiss—nip into the brisk and breezy nudge of blanket-worthy weather. It had been years since I had so intimately watched nature effortlessly embrace change and automatically undergo radical metamorphosis. Tree leaves, once budding and bursting with blooming promise, had ripened with verdant vigor and now lay dangling the last of their fiery fervor before falling into winter’s fodder.
It never fails. Every time I allow myself to pause, get present, and truly observe the surrounding landscape, I am reminded how infinite is the wisdom of nature.
We have heard it prophetically and profoundly reflected in phrases like, “the microcosm is in the macrocosm,” “as above so below,” and “as is the atom, so is the universe.”
Like nature, humankind is presently betwixt a changing of seasons. There are rules of commerce—once relevant to an arcane and industrial system—that have shriveled in their present impracticality. There are political practices—once pragmatic—that have provoked an aggressive, destructive and painful polarity. There are fights for ownership and arguments for separation—once helpful for their organizational properties within a community—that have ignited into violent, scorching furor. Like deciduous autumn leaves, the world seems to be deep in a whipping, whirling dervish of fall; shedding enfeebled beliefs, ideologies and societal frameworks that have now withered on the vine.
As we witness expired leaves and outdated pageantry fall, perhaps now is the time to heed the example from our omnipotent planet, and just let go. Let go of our own personal stories that keep us trapped in our life’s rearview; let go of the limiting beliefs that keep us stagnate to our circumstances; let go of the people, places and things that repeatedly—ignorantly or punitively—inflict pain onto our person.
Nature’s sophistication is omniscient in its simplicity. It strains neither to grow, nor to die, for, the creation, innovation of something new inevitably comes from the cessation, expiration of something old. Perhaps now is the time to let go of what stifles, imprisons, impedes us from personal progress. Perhaps now is the time to release that which no longer serves us in service of life’s natural tendency towards transmutation. Perhaps now is the time to shed our leaves of limitation so that we may make room for an invaluable and benevolent bloom.
What is one emotion, thought or habit that would feel amazing for you to let fall away today...?
BRUSHES OF THE SPIRIT
By Water and the Spirit, acrylic on silk and board, 22×30, 2007. By Donna Fado Ivery. $425. www.AdventuresInHealing.com
