MANKIND IS WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO CHANGE
This is one of my favorite passages in “Flow: The Beginning Is Upon Us” by Jessica Keats.
On The Unknown:
— The thing about the unknown is that it is unknown. We have no reference for it and there is no way to conceptualize it. When we are headed towards it our minds begin to find logical explanations for it or against it. Our minds envision where we are going and why we are going and then our minds begin to find all the reasons why we shouldn’t go. We get stuck in the reasons we shouldn’t go as these bring up more and more questions and reasons. All of this is a result of our beliefs and patterns of rejection and fear. We reject what we fear so we make up many reasons to fear this unknown possibility.
Many people call the process of moving into the unknown a “breakdown to breakthrough” or “wading through the muck”, but it feels like this only because of our beliefs, fears and stories resisting the natural process of change.
The true process of moving into the unknown is a process of rebirth. It is a shedding of what we have known and an opening to what we are beginning to know. Everything we have done to this point has us ready for this movement, there are no surprises. There is an ebb that occurs in the Flow, a slowing down, a shedding and integrating. There is typically a celestial occurrence that marks it. Once the celestial occurrence has taken place the Flow picks up again and we start to move in the way we are meant to. Our minds are opened and we begin to take note of where we are now, what has changed and who we have become.
Can something be happening just for us? Just for our evolution? The answer is yes, and it can be happening for others at the same time as us. We are never alone as we walk into the unknown. We are always comforted by others going through the same change. We might not know them but they are out there changing alongside us. We are not alone.
On Healers:
— Healers get to the bottom of what ails you. They have been sent during this time with the gifts of being able to see and relieve you of your deepest darkest blocks. They have been sent with the key. The key to unlock the life you were meant to lead. To help release you from your past and let go of what is holding you back. The healers are here to make the transition go smoothly.
In order for this to work the healers must awaken. They must take a step forward. They must tell the world that they are the chosen ones to bring about the change that is needed in you.
Instead of stepping forward, they are getting sick, caught in a roller-coaster of being the one and being afraid of being the one repeatedly. Only the strong win out. Only the brave look for ways to break the cycle and find themselves. Only the determined awaken day after day in search of themselves or others that can help them find The Truth. They are the ones right now searching out cures for their mental, emotional, physical illness. They are the ones learning and soaking up knowledge after knowledge.
They learn so much, certification after certification, never truly satisfied that they have found the answers they are looking for. In fact, they are clouding their minds with so much unnecessary information that they can’t see past the complexity to the simplest answer. Your heart, your throat and your third eye are the secret. If you can unblock these. Hear, think and feel the right information. Make the right intention being given to you. Whisper the words on your sweet healer lips. You can do away with so much. It is endless. It is powerful. You are powerful. You are the beginning and the end.
All you have to do is turn inwards. Forget everything you have been taught. Come to us with open minds and open hearts. We are there waiting for you. We are there trying to get your attention. We are there begging you to listen, to hear, to follow. Then you can help the world but you must help yourself first because you are not quite at the level, we need you at. We need you to rise and be the healers we have sent you to be. Mankind is waiting for the chance to change and move on to the new way of being that is being rung in by the bells of angels. They can’t do it without you.
A MENOPAUSE BREAKTHROUGH
This is one of my favorite passages in “The Estrogen Fix” by Dr. Mache Seibel.
— The confusion from the WHI study left me wondering what other studies, clinical trials, and information revealed about the positive versus negative effects of estrogen. I started reading all the estrogen information I could find to understand why estrogen continued to be the 800-pound gorilla in the room for menopause, women, and their doctors. I analyzed years of data, poring over major and minor studies and hundreds of peer-reviewed journal articles and papers presented at meetings and symposia. I interviewed fellow experienced doctors and top researchers, including Drs. Pauline Maki, Phil Sarrel, Wulf Utian, Isaac Schiff, Mary Jane Minkin, JoAnn V. Pinkerton, JoAnn E. Manson, James A. Simon, Sara Gottfried, Andrew Kaunitz, and others as editor of The Hot Years-My Menopause Magazine.
I did this because menopause is one of the most challenging periods in a woman’s life. As an ob-gyn and menopause expert, I witness on an almost daily basis how menopause symptoms affect the quality of my patients’ lives and their performance in the workplace. Surely there had to be some evidence-based way that estrogen could be used to bring relief.
Each article, presentation, and interview contained a golden nugget of information that together created a pot of gold—something really valuable to help Sharon, my patients, and women everywhere. I came to realize there is such a thing I call the estrogen window, the time in a woman’s life when she can most safely take estrogen and benefit from it in many ways.
Consider the hormone insulin for a diabetic patient. Taken at the right time, insulin regulates blood sugar, keeps diabetes under control, and wards off potentially devastating side effects. If insulin is given at the wrong time, a diabetic can go into diabetic shock. For estrogen, too, timing is very important. As a medication, it is not about being either good or bad. It’s all about the timing. If taken at the right time, estrogen provides dramatic relief for the most troubling menopausal symptoms while at the same time providing a host of benefits, including:
— Extended protection from heart attacks and heart failure
— Reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of cognitive
decline
— Reduced risk of osteoporosis
— Beneficial cosmetic effects on the structure and resiliency of the skin
— Relief of sexual problems such as vaginal dryness and painful intercourse
— Relief from troubling and sometimes disabling hot flashes
— Improved quality of sleep
—Stabilized mood, particularly in women who have a known mental health diagnosis
— Lowered risk of type 2 diabetes
— Support for bladder tissue and lower risk of recurring urinary
tract infections
Taken during a woman’s estrogen window, estrogen accomplishes all these astonishing feats with minimal increased health risks. How long her estrogen window stays open depends on two things: which estrogen-containing medicine is used and which symptom or condition is being targeted, which I explain throughout The Estrogen Fix.
If the same woman takes the same drug after her estrogen window has closed, there may be an increased risk of serious side effects. Her odds for developing cardiovascular disease, blood clots, cancer, and cognitive decline become higher. But remember: It’s not the estrogen that is bad; it’s the Provera combined with the estrogen and when it is taken during a woman’s life, or the timing, that are bad.
Too many women believe they have to struggle through this phase of life without assistance, and somehow if they do that and forgo estrogen, they will come out on the other side without any consequences. Others think that if they take estrogen and get almost immediate symptom relief, they will be diagnosed with breast cancer or heart disease a few years down the road. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Estrogen Fix will help you “figure it out” so you won’t have to “tough it out.”
It’s ironic that the treatment women have avoided because they fear increased odds of developing a dreaded disease is in fact the very treatment that can offer greatly expanded protection against developing those same potentially deadly conditions after menopause. The key to using estrogen successfully is to take the right estrogen and to take it at the right time for at least 5 to 7 years following the onset of menopause.
If you’re like my patients, you probably have a lot of questions: Is estrogen really as safe as you say? Do I take pills, use a cream, or apply a patch? What’s the right dosage for me? When should I start? How do I know when to stop? Which estrogen should I take? Which progestogen should I take? All your questions will be answered in The Estrogen Fix, so you’ll be prepared to have an informed conversation with your physician or health-care provider.
THE GIFT OF OUR TRUE NATURE
This is one of my favorite passages in “A Brightly Guided Life” by Ingrid Honkala.
— A few days later, Santiago met me at the house where we held Transcendental Meditation meetings every week. By this time, he had been practicing TM for six months. That night about thirty people were all gathered together in a big room. We sat on the floor with the lights off, in total silence.
Suddenly I did something that seemed opposed to everything I had learned about meditation: I started to giggle. No matter how hard I tried to stop, I just felt this unstoppable laugh emerging from within. Then one of my cousins who was sitting next to me started to laugh as well. We were followed by another and another, until the whole room was invaded by one loud, persistent and powerful roar of laughter. It became so contagious that even some people outside the room joined in. This was the longest and most intense laughter of my life, seeming to go on forever. According to someone waiting outside, it lasted for about twenty minutes.
Gradually we stopped laughing until the room became completely quiet, then stayed in meditation for another ten minutes. When the mediation ended, as we walked out of the room everybody wondered what had happened. People tried to find reasons but nobody could discover one. The common answer was that it had been the most amazing, liberating and unifying experience of our lives. That night, for no reason, we all simply laughed. This was the first time that I had experienced such unity with so many people at the same time, without any effort or expectation whatsoever. After a minute of reflection, I realized: This is what I meant to say the other day to Santiago. This is what I would call a moment without ego, without any sense of boundaries, or any separation or judgment; just a moment of unity, a moment of joy and love.
Feeling grateful, I thanked the Beings of Light, then went to share my thoughts with my friend.
“Santiago, do you realize that it doesn’t matter how different all of us are on the outside, because tonight we laughed as equals?”
“Wow! It was amazing. It felt like we were one big chorus,” he said.
“Yes, we actually were!” I continued. “Do you also realize that this was a moment in which we were completely free from any judgment?”
“You’re right. I could have never laughed like that if I thought I was being judged. This was definitely a gift.”
“This is what I meant to say the other day at the cafeteria. That is what I would consider an egoless moment. Only by forgetting who we are and becoming free from judgment, can we let our True Nature be.”
“What is our True Nature?” he asked. At that moment, I remembered that the answer to that question had come to me about a year before, after I saw a movie on television about a person with amnesia. Feeling puzzled, I had asked the Beings of Light, “What would happen if I completely lost the memory of me, including my name? What would I become? Who would I be then? What would be left of me?”
“Your True Nature,” they answered. I told Santiago about the movie and asked him the same questions. Looking baffled he answered, “I don’t know.”
“Think of yourself as an onion,” I said. “An onion is made up of many layers, which is like the personality we have created after all these years of gathering experiences. The core of the onion is our beginning, a little baby who is pure and innocent. It is your True Nature, totally naked and completely free from any conditions. But to get back to the heart of the onion, we need to first peel off all these outer layers. In total amnesia, you might go all the way to the beginning of the Self by accident. But what if you could consciously peel off all the layers? Instead of finding only an innocent and pure baby, you will find that you are also an all-knowing and wise baby.”
“But, how do we do that?” he asked.
“You’ve already started,” I answered.
“Quieting your mind through meditation is the beginning. The quieter you become, the more aware you will be of your ego. That awareness will open the path for you to connect with your True Nature and to learn the difference between It and the ego.”
HAPPINESS THAT EXISTS BEYOND THOUGHTS AND IDEAS
This is one of my favorite passages in “Unflappable” by Ragini Michaels.
— Anytime you navigate two levels of reality (in our case, human and divine) at the same time, it is magic. Like any good magic, your mind can't fathom how it's done. But when the rabbit pops out of the hat, you're amazed by it anyway.
Your mind may get a little confused by this notion, but give it a try anyway. This different brand of happiness knows no opposite because it embraces all opposites equally—happiness and sadness, pleasure and pain, gain and loss, connection and separation, birth, and death. It's bigger than any set of polarities, and it accepts everything as part of the harmony of all things.
This happiness exists in the realm beyond thoughts and ideas; it lives outside the territory of the mind—beyond the world of conceptual thought. And this place is, literally, just a blink away from your mind's eye.
You already know this place in times of quiet when you're just being (like when you're sunbathing, lying on the massage table, or soaking in the tub) or during noisy, fast, and dangerous times when you must be present for your safety (like when you're white-water rafting, skiing, surfing a big wave, or mountain climbing). In these scenarios, your mind naturally becomes quiet—and that different brand of happiness arises. This is why we like these kinds of activities. When the mind is still—even for just a tiny bit of time—you connect directly with your life experience (that's you minus your story).
Have you ever stood at the ocean's edge in the middle of a winter storm, mesmerized by its power and beauty? Have you sensed a majestic harmony, even though waves are crashing all around, and huge piles of heavy driftwood are shifting, rearranging the contour of the shore? Just being with the power of nature feels good, and a sense of happiness and peace arises.
This happiness is not the mind's idea of happiness—getting what you want and not getting what you don't want. Instead, it's just being with what is unfolding. Deepak Chopra once said that happiness arises when you don't resist the continual flow of events. What you may not realize is that includes embracing your resistance to not resisting. It's such an odd thing to do ... until you do it.
Mystics perceive each moment of life for just what it is—pleasurable, painful, or neutral. This perspective can be yours when you know how to live with paradox and how to navigate opposites, which simply means using your mystic's eye.
Your imagination is the key to suspending your disbelief and finding the Land of Unresolvable Dilemma. Without it, you may never find the inner peace that knows no disturbance and the happiness that knows no opposite.
If your skeptic has appeared, as mine always does, you may feel cynical. Hang in there. When you give your imagination an inch, it will happily take you a mile. Follow your inner knowing that there is a different brand of happiness—and imagine you're hot on its trail.
Imagination helps your brain move out of old patterns into this new view of your world, preparing you for travel through the Six-Step Process…
THE EXPLORATION OF YOUR HUMAN NATURE AND DIVINE POTENTIAL
This is one of my favorite passages in “Who You Are Meant To Be” by Rosemary Hurwitz.
— The Enneagram can teach you about both your human nature and divine potential. You have read a short story of each of the nine universal types; you have learned about the strengths and challenges, passions and blind spots, Wellness Maps and wing styles, instinctual centers and ways to practice balance. Remember that these mainstays are about general patterns of thinking and behaving. There may be as many nuances within each of the nine universal personality types as there are people in the world. Discovering your unique nuances is your wonderful work within the Enneagram. Your inner work is a great investment in you, and your relationships whatever combination of personal growth tools you use.
You now know that having an understanding of your personality type and your own potential is the start of the inner work of personal transformation. After all, actually realizing who you are meant to be takes more than the knowing.
Your deepened awareness and acceptance of that newfound awareness may provide a new pathway within you. Your practice of new behaviors that free you and get you out of your own way will provide you with profound shifts.
The effects you feel will be so worth any work you have done to realize your growth. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes after an aha insight, you change behavior immediately. More often, other times it takes baby steps to see progress within yourself.
The good news is that the Enneagram gives you practical ways to gain consciousness and make a resourceful choice. You will come from your own internal safety not your own often self-created stress. One way that cannot be emphasized enough is through breathwork. Breathing into the emotional passion that gets triggered can help to deepen your awareness of it.
Science has now shown us that with repeated practice, we can break out of our habitual patterns and reactions more often.
Dr. Donald Hebb of McGill University has investigated the neural circuits in the brain, the connections that fire or light up when we are thinking certain thoughts or are engaged in certain behaviors. His conclusion? “What fires together wires together.”
In other words, when your neural circuits fire together in a certain way repeatedly, they tend to do more of the same. In Enneagram terms, your habitual patterns make deep grooves within your personality. When you change the pattern through conscious choice, instead of continually going on autopilot, you disrupt the pattern, and the grooves, lose their edge and soften.
Liz Tobin, Family Health Practitioner, taught it to me this way:
“Connect to your detached observer within and notice how your feelings, perceptions and interactions change. The next time you are faced with a situation that pushes your buttons, stop and pause. Say to yourself, “Here is an opportunity for me to change this way of mine. I have the power to change my response. I do not have to react in the same old way.”
People can change and grow. It takes effort but like anything that gets practiced it gets easier with time.
Remember Dr. David Daniel’s 4 As related to the Enneagram: Awareness, Acceptance, Action, and Adherence.
Awareness of yourself is your type’s wisdom that resonates within you Acceptance of your whole self entails both sun and shadow sides Action: making changes in your patterns by using this newfound awareness to make choices that are balanced for your greater well-being. Adherence or practice: repeatedly using your Wellness Map and Enneagram wisdom. Becoming aware is the first step, accepting your new awareness and using strategies to create new behavior, is action. Repeating these new behaviors is adherence or practice.
MAKE JOY YOUR GUIDE
This is one of my favorite passages in “The Identity Code” by Larry Ackerman.
— Knowing your gift, and finding ways to give it, brings a palpable sense of peace. Your search is finally over, along with the anxiety it creates. The emptiness that has eaten at your gut subsides. Authenticity, and the strength it produces, is yours: nothing about you is made up. Nothing is fabricated to please others. In fact, finding your gift, and weaving it into your life, affirms who you are – that you are here, alive and have a meaningful role to play in this world. Answering the question, What is my gift?, holds out the promise of achieving both power and grace. Born of your identity, “power” isn’t
about controlling others. It is about taking life into your own hands; it is power for the good. It is constructive rather than destructive. Such power benefits all people who are part of its expression, because it is based on making a genuine and lasting contribution. Knowing your gift gives you the power to make a difference. It also bestows upon you the grace with which to make it.
— Most people intent on finding their gift look for clues in their work, past and present, their family backgrounds, their hobbies and interests. As sensible as this may seem, none of these factors will lead you to the answer. None gets to the heart of your remarkable capacity to create value – that distinctive contribution you are capable of making in the world. The way to find your gift is by following the signs of joy – those aspects of life to which you are instinctively drawn and that stir your soul. Joy comes before happiness. In unraveling your identity code, understanding the distinction between these two ideas is important. The definition I assigned to happiness, early in the book, was that you are at peace with yourself, among others in the world. To arrive at this place, you need to make joy your guide.
In the words of Joseph Campbell, philosopher and mythologist, you must follow your bliss. At its core, joy slices through the defenses, concerns and rationalizations we use to keep ourselves balanced against the pressures of our daily lives. It leads us directly to a place of elation we have probably long forgotten exists within us. When I refer to elation, I am referring to feelings that take you over completely. For instance, that feeling of sudden heat that unexpectedly wells up in, and washes over, your body. Or, the shudders that run up and down your spine, releasing tension in their wake. That elation comes from an unqualified love of something. It can be the creative juices inside you that run free when you are cooking up a storm. It can be the feelings of unbridled awe you connect with as you gallop across open fields, deep in the heart of the mountains of Wyoming. Or, perhaps, it is the freedom you feel, deep in your bones, as your voice soars in the midst of singing a passage from your favorite opera.
Joy comes before happiness.
Whatever it may be, what brings you joy carries you naturally to a state of near-ecstasy, where the tensions of the day disappear and you are one with yourself – you are at peace with who you are, among others in the world. The only thing that matters, then, is to find that “something.”
NOTICE THE SPACE BETWEEN THE BREATH
This is one of my favorite passages in “Sarah's Story: Life after IVF” by Danielle Aitken.
— ‘The Buddha taught many different types of meditation, let us begin with one. Now please be comfortable, and we will begin.’
Banyu squats down beside me.
‘Bring your attention into the present and you may like to stare at the Buddha statue right there.’ He gestures to the front of the room. ‘Really notice it now, Miss Sarah, the details, colors, notice your thoughts arising ... let them come ... let them go ... without judgement.’
I look at the statue for a few minutes, and it is true that I do see things that previously went unobserved.
‘Now close your eyes.’ He pauses for maybe a minute. ‘Now be fully aware of your body in this space, in this room. Release tensions from the body.’
He leads and directs my attention throughout my entire body and instructs me to be relaxed yet alert all at the same time.
‘Excellent, Miss Sarah, now think, what is it you want to achieve from your meditation today, do you want to tame the monkey mind? Bring your awareness to your breath. Meditation is an alert state of focused attention, the opposite to sluggishness. Let your attention explore the breath as though you have never really noticed it before. Notice your breath in ... notice as you breathe out.’
Silent pause.
‘Notice the space between the breath.’
Silence.
‘Notice where the air travels.’
Silence.
‘Notice the temperature of the air.’
Silence.
‘Notice how the breath out relaxes you more deeply.’ Silence.
‘Notice the movement in your body as you breathe.’ Silence.
‘Now we will count the breath. Breathe in ... one.
Breathe out. Breathe in ... two. Breathe out. Breathe in ... three. Breathe out. Breathe in ... four. Breathe out.’
Banyu continued to direct me until we reached ten breaths and then he instructed me to go back to one and begin again solo.
‘Thoughts will come, Miss Sarah. You must take charge. When you are aware of thoughts you can return your attention to the breath.’
As I sat, to my astonishment I was enjoying the feeling of peace and tranquility flowing through me. Wow, Banyu, you’re a star. Oops, monkey mind. Back to the breath. I smiled.
For the next weeks Banyu instructed me on all things meditation and I was a good student. Meditation became my practice morning and night. As the weeks passed into months I found that I was actually looking forward to my meditations. There was something quite different about the feeling I experienced when I was meditating that was hard to define.
I slowly began to tame my monkey mind and as I did, I noticed more and more a kind of respite or time out from the constant repetitive and destructive thoughts that had plagued me for years. The sense of calm I found during my meditation seemed in some way to flow on through my non-meditation hours.
As I developed a sense of calm, I was also learning how to sort and process thoughts that were not helpful. I was even worrying less about what the future had in store for me as the previously ever-present feeling of anxiety seemed to almost miraculously dissipate in direct correlation to the amount of time I spent in meditation. My heavy sense of grief, however, was not so obliging, but even this seemed to dissipate during my sessions as I directed my attention away from these thoughts in those moments.
I discovered many interesting and unexpected things over the next two months of meditating twice and sometimes more every day. It seemed that my whole body was enjoying the process of meditation as my persistent aches and pains that I had endured for many years seemed to almost disappear. I had to admit life felt better in many ways. Perhaps, these monks were on to something? I discussed with Banyu the surprising added benefits I was noticing from my meditation practice and he again gave me his now familiar cheeky grin accompanied by a slight nod of his head. His look resembled the smile of a proud parent when their child takes their first step.
‘Yes, Miss Sarah, it is true, the body desires to be at peace. You are now becoming aware of how your unhappy thoughts create an unhappy body, not surprising then, that the body functions best when the mind is at peace. Your meditation will benefit your body in many ways. When the mind is still the heart is happy. When the heart is happy it grows in loving kindness. When the mind is still what else has the body to do but function and heal.’
Again, he gives me a knowing smile as though he has waited for me to finally understand.
‘Meditation can relieve your pain better than any medications. The mind and the body are not separate, Miss Sarah, when the mind is not at peace the body is not at peace, but when the mind is calm the body returns to the business of functioning perfectly and this you are beginning to observe. A lesson well learned, Miss Sarah.’
Well whatever the reason, all I knew was that I was physically feeling better than I had in years, so I kept an open mind and continued to learn what I could. During these weeks of meditating and perfectly timed impromptu lessons from Banyu, I continued to venture up to the hill when I could. Lama Ngawan would be there on some days but not as often as before. He seemed happy to leave me in the care of Banyu during this time and so I happily settled into my new kind of normal.
I enjoyed the occasions Lama did make it to the hill. I was now beginning to understand just what a privilege it was to spend this private time with him and so I really began to be very present whilst in his company. Something that Banyu had taught me. My focus of attention was seemingly much improved with my ongoing meditation, my monkey mind, was on the way to being tamed. I wasn’t there yet but I was finding my ability to really be in the conversation rather than be elsewhere, was a great asset to my communications.
It was on one such occasion while I was deep in contemplation that Lama spoke to me the words I had been dreading to hear.
‘Sarah, your time here is nearing its end.’
I felt an instant surge of denial masquerading as anxiety in the pit of my stomach that felt somewhat like a physical blow that took my breath away. I instinctively opened my mouth to disagree, but quickly closed it again. Part of me knew that this was true, but there was another part of me that did not want to leave. The part that was afraid to leave, afraid of the unknown. The part that still had no idea of exactly what there was for me back home. The very same part that didn’t even know where home was anymore.
IMAGINE THE MOST AMAZING VISION OF YOURSELF
This is one of my favorite passages in “Conversations with Grace” by Julianne Haycox.
— I was ready to remove what had corroded in me and restore my life with the peace and love that I deserved. I grounded myself in the bubble of stillness. I stood in the forgiveness and warmth of the morning sun, in the graceful afternoon breeze and before a luminous moon, talking to myself and to God. I was grateful for this magnificent peace. This simple path became my saving grace, my renewed state of mind, my Kingdom Come! Only I had the power to unlock the healing process. There was something worth having beyond this pain. I could almost touch it.
I soon discovered that in serenity, gifts abound. On a quiet day while gardening, a question dropped into my placid mind like a drop of water on a still lake: “What would your angel whisper in your ear?” I quickly went indoors, found a pen and paper, and wrote down these words in a matter of moments.
You are good enough.
Look for the light in the corners.
I wish you peace.
Believe that you deserve it.
Come with love and harmony and ask the same of others. Reach deep inside and listen.
Cultivate and nurture your ability to listen,
Share a glance, add a smile.
Walk with an open heart full of light and love. Reach deep inside yourself.
Welcome the past—understand it—let it go.
Get it out of your way.
Don’t look back.
Pray.
Be a lovely friend.
Imagine the most amazing vision of yourself.
Bring your vision to life.
Love who you are.
I will be here every step of the way.
When I finished writing these ethereally delivered words, I read them over and over again. Every word and every meaning found a safe place in my soul. This angel of mine was truly with me, within me, and around me. My heartfelt full with light and love. I felt supported and guided.
Because of this experience, my awareness was roused. The door to my consciousness cracked open even further—its flame burned
steady in my mind. I was just thoughts away from changing my life. My path was clear, and I stood still upon it, poised and ready for the gentle wisdom to find its way to me. I moved forward manifesting and emanating the love and grace that was bestowed upon me. In my awareness, I came back to my true self. I saw the heartache for what it honestly was and I embraced the lessons.
There are surface reasons that caused this friendship to end, but I choose to focus on the deeper wisdom. From each season of our lives comes growth, just as in the natural world. Friendships and other relationships sometimes shift. In the realignment, these relationships looked and felt very different. I began to love these friends from a distance. I wanted to start the purification process and give these relationships the dignity they deserved. After all, they were a huge part of my life for more than twenty of my (then) fifty-six years. I set the bad memories free.
Moving forward with my family, I decided to occupy a different space, other than the one I had unconsciously settled into for so many years. The space had to be sacred; I had to be stronger than I was. And in this strength and peace, I knew I would emerge more composed and resolute.
I would respect the differences in our journeys. I would respect the difference of our places in time. I felt a welcoming space for new friends. I felt love for the friends that I moved on from, and was able to love them for everything that they taught me. I saw that there were so many redeeming qualities in each of these friends, and we had made so many joyous memories. I felt the beginning of my life. I felt love all around me, although not in all of the usual places. My heart was now clear and open and filled with the beautiful love that had held me through the storm, and it was time for me to reciprocate by sending the love out into the world.
THE HEALING SPIRAL
This is my favorite passage in “The Soul of Caregiving” by Edward M. Smink Ph.D
— In a culture that demands perfection in all that we do, it is difficult to reconcile that we, as caregivers, skillful and talented as we can be, don’t have all the answers and are confronted with our limitations, personal issues, and woundedness. What within us draws us to the woundedness of others? A skill we often underestimate. Another more poignant question that challenges our imagination and curiosity is: What is it within a person, whether caregiver or the one in need that draws each to labor with, endure, and come to terms with woundedness, illness, and traumatic events? A mystery not to be solved, but to be explored. This ability to enter into, to hold, to guide, and to sustain oneself or another through the mystery of being a caregiver is best described as the archetypal image of the wounded healer.
To say that love is a wounded healer is to imply, on the one hand, that caregivers bring to each situation their human capacity to care, to be empathetic, to heal, and create positive outcomes. At the same time, and almost simultaneously, caregivers can be confronted with their limitations, particular boundaries, woundedness, and vulnerabilities that life brings. Herein lies a truth about the paradox of caregiving: a wounded healer responds to one in need, and conversely, the person in need is given the opportunity to be an agent of healing for the caregiver. The very act of caregiving becomes transformational and may lead to the caregiver’s personal and professional growth. Now wait a moment, this seems to be backward, but it is not.
Our previous discussion in Chapter Five recalls the insight of William Augsburger who spoke about the unique relationship between caregiver and client. Simply put, it means that when the caregiver is sensitive to his or her own limitations and woundedness, h/she is better able to understand the woundedness of the one in need and to respond with compassion. This leads to a greater awareness, insight, a change of heart and growth. For purposes of our discussion, we are all caregivers in one way or another.
As discussed earlier, caregivers are parents who care for their children, adult children that care for their parents, spouses who care for each other, first responders, police, firefighters, emergency, medical responders, healthcare professionals, and educators to name a few. The archetype of the Wounded Healer conveys the inner reality that within the healer, the person doing the act of caregiving, is woundedness, and within the one wounded, the one seeking care from the caregiver, sleeps a healer.
There is a similarity to the Buddhist symbol of the yin and the yang which acknowledges that within darkness there is a spark of light, and within the light, there is a shadow of darkness. The caregiver’s sensitivity to the woundedness of the one in need is borne out of his or her self-knowledge and experience of woundedness. Likewise, the healer function within the one seeking care is activated by the sensitivity and compassion of the caregiver. Guggenbühl-Craig refers to this dynamic as the healer-client function or what we understand as the caregiver and the one in need. He maintains that when a person seeks a caregiver and healer, an intra-psychic or ‘inner healer’ or ‘healing factor’ is also energized.
SPIRITUALITY: AWARENESS AND UNDERSTANDING OF UNIVERSAL TRUTH
This is my favorite passage in “Atheists Can Get To "Heaven” by W. Michael King.
— As derivatives of the universe, you may suspect that sentient consciousness, the self-being (what would otherwise be termed the soul), is in hypothesis a process of natural evolution, a natural extension of the organisms of the biological mind. For example, we know in physics that once an electromagnetic wave launches into space, it continues into infinity - it is forever.
If sentience could be defined as a quantum electro-dynamic, adaptive, and interactive electromagnetic field structure, one could continue into a state of being that was not dependent upon any organic form - once launched beyond the confinement of the body. The concept of sentience, of consciousness, was defined in the early 17th Century by René Descartes as a rationalist premise: "I think, therefore I am."
If that rationalist premise were to be founded on, as arising from, a structure of quantum electro-dynamic interactivity, then it could hypothetically become metaphysical (at a stage of development currently beyond conventional physics) and accordingly, spiritual.
Because we are sentient, conscious beings, our self-intended actualization can direct changes to our minds and our bodies. Those actions effectively cause us to become our own "creators" as we de-fine and "assemble" ourselves.
The health problems I was experiencing in Chapter Eight, The Crater of Self-Deprecation, tend to confirm that observation since my negativity overloaded my body's ability to compensate. Positive connections when willed into self will yield, in contrast, affirming results.
Additionally for emphasis, during my challenge with the cleric, not taking a position about the presence or reality of a deity would have essentially been deceitful, given the understanding that I had attained. Deceit in the face of those to whom one is already wholly known and transparent, is sheer folly. The very same challenge when presented to another who is committed to the concept of a deity could probably have a similar result, though there could be variations that are significant in detail.
For your contemplation, the test challenge statement, "Come with me, I will take you to God" could, for one who monotheistically believes in a deity, have had almost the same outcome as my own - almost. Since I recognized that challenge to be partially a test of my commitment to myself, and partially a test of my self-inspection affirming that I was doing my best, the question would have been a good test even for one who believes in a deity. Such a "believing" person might have thought, "Ask yourself: Why would an all powerful, omnipresent God position a representative to take me to him? As omnipresence, I would already be with God. Why should I submit to being led by one I did not know, on a presumption that could be a delusion, that I might be taken to God?" So a response of equal integrity would have been: "No! God is with me always! You cannot take me to what is already within me! You must be a charlatan!"
With that decision not to be led, it is implied that personal objectivity would be in place so that you would not blindly follow one you did not know, and could find truth for yourself.
To me, there is no question that there is a life force within and among us, developed from within ourselves connecting with, and flowing through, all living things. The derivation of that life force is from processes in the universe that began some billions of years ago. Consequently, I can confidently attest to you that my "god" is the universe itself, the source of all structures and fields of matter, organic and inorganic, all energetic fields of being.
My god is not a monotheistic super-being but rather the process of forces, fields, and energy that encompasses all of nature. Since I am child of the universe, as you are, in popular terms the universe is my parental base: my father. Accordingly, I can emphatically say that my god is omnipresent and within me, and interconnected to all.
I find peace and joy, and a sense of personal freedom, through this knowledge. I am free of guilt and the need to seek salvation at the hands of another. My spirituality is the whole of my awareness and comprehension of universal truth.
FROM COMPASSION FATIGUE TO COMPASSION SATISFACTION
This is my favorite passage in “Burnout and Self-Care in Social Work” by SaraKay Smullens.
— From Compassion Fatigue to Compassion Satisfaction Establishing Proper Boundaries.
One of the main themes of this book is that burnout, as represented here by the draining negativity of compassion fatigue, is first and foremost a matter of establishing successful boundaries between ourselves and our clients. Undoubtedly, social workers are guided by compassion for others and a desire to improve individual and societal conditions (Radey & Figley, 2007). It is meaningful, fulfilling, and uplifting to see our clients grow and change.
However, one of our challenges is to make sure that our primary motivation must be this growth and change, not an escape for difficulties we have known ourselves or witnessed our loved ones endure and perhaps be destroyed by — and not a desire to have control or power over others to make up for what has been denied us or those we love.
Without realizing it, many come into social work and related fields wanting to help others, needing to help others, but not primarily because of the client. As we have seen, many may be attracted to social work and related professions to escape from and compensate for their own pain or the pain of those they loved and needed, those who have let them down and disappointed them in myriad ways, sometimes callously and brutally.
*** A Self-Care Tip: Try the relaxing “BeKind Good Vibes Candles!”
Simply put, many may be attracted to social work or related professions to soothe their own agonizing or traumatic life events and in this way find peace in their own lives. Though not aware of it, people's choice of a profession devoted to mental health may be attractive due to an urgent desire to ease distress regarding events in their own lives that have not been dealt with and understood. This initial motivation is true for some of our most passionate and effective social workers, as well as those in related professions.
In facing this hard truth, one is able to make the necessary shift in professional direction by realizing that we can never heal through our clients. Once we can clearly distinguish between our needs and the needs of our clients, we can more fully appreciate how essential appropriate boundaries are in our lives and work and to the vital connection to compassion satisfaction.
We call on the strengths and power of our professional relationships, which are the keys to our effectiveness in building mutual respect and trust. Sometimes we are the very first people our clients will learn to trust. The success of our work is most evident when a professional relationship can conclude—when a client, couple, or family (and for some in our profession, an organization or board) recognizes it is time to move forward independently with the confidence to define direction and face inevitable stress and frustration.
With this achievement, we let go, ending our relationship—understanding and appreciating the success attained: A client’s journey forward is his, her, or their own; we no longer are necessary for survival, sustenance, or direction. Without appropriate boundaries this process will be seriously impaired, and exhaustion, negativity, and fatigue will make professional satisfaction impossible to achieve.
Respectful boundaries are understood and valued through our own hard-won self-awareness and the professional confidence and autonomy it makes possible. Through an appreciation of the relationship between appropriate boundaries and what I think of as an effective “letting go/ending process,” we understand that the term "helping professions" is perhaps a misleading one.
We use our knowledge and skill to work with our clients for one reason: so that they are able to help and care for themselves and, through this ability, find personal direction and fulfillment in love, friendship, and work.
An understanding of the words "pity' "sympathy,” and "empathy"— and their relationship to compassion satisfaction—is an effective way to conceptualize the difference between social workers who are motivated to escape their own feelings of pain and disappointments through their work and those who have learned to appreciate necessary boundaries for their work to be effective, for both their clients and themselves. (Please note: In the following discussion of pity, sympathy and empathy, I draw largely on the research and work of Karen Gerdes [2011]. The integration of empathy and compassion that is discussed and its relationship to the Self are based on my own experience.) …
CONSCIOUSNESS AND THE PRESENT
This is my favorite passage in “Consciousness Is All” by Peter Francis Dziuban.
Why is Consciousness the Present?
If there were no Consciousness, it would be impossible to know there even is a Present. Take away Consciousness and it could not be said there is any Present, any existing at all. Equally, if there were no Present, nothing would be present, not even Consciousness.
Consciousness and the Present are not two separate entities functioning simultaneously. They are but two different words for the One Unchanging Conscious Presence which is All There Is.
It cannot be overemphasized that the Present being spoken of is not just “the” Present or “a” Present. It is the conscious Present.
The Present is this alive conscious Presence here and now alive to being all the Presence existent. This Conscious Presence never is something You can be conscious of, as if It were something separate, because You are Consciousness Itself. In the same way, You never can be conscious of the Present. You are the Present. To read as if this refers merely to “a” Present, as something apart from this Presently Alive Consciousness, will make this book seem like just so many dry, boring words. Be alive as the Present. It’s the only place Your Life is.
The Present is not something separate that You experience.
The Present is You—All-Present Consciousness.
All that is present, is You.
When was the last time you noticed the Present was not present? Of course, it sounds ridiculous because it simply doesn’t occur.
Where the Present is present (and It is absolutely all the Presence there is), there simply cannot be an absence of the Present.
Time pretends to be that period when the Present is not present. But that never happens.
The Present always is present.
To have time in any way, the Present would have to be made to go away, or be uprooted from being everywhere present, all Presence. In other words, the Omnipresent Present would have to be shoved aside, so time, what-never-is-present, could be present. That is just plain impossible.
Only the Present is present, and endlessly so. That means complete, total “coverage” as All. This never changes.
Look at it another way. There simply is no point at which the Present comes to an end, and where what-isn’t-present, or time, could begin. What isn’t present can’t begin anywhere, because it isn’t present!
The Present Awareness I Am can’t exist in time. The Present I Am is not surrounded by, or between, past and future. As the Present is absolutely all that can be present, It leaves only Itself, and no past or future anywhere to be between!
Present Awareness stands alone.
The answer to the question, “What is the Present to Its own Presence?” also is the answer to, What is All? Who am I?
Only the Present is real, for only the Present really is.
Then only the Present can be Reality, for the Present is all that is present to be Reality.
Simply nothing else is present to be Reality.
One thus can see why this book does not constantly quote other sources, use references, and is not written in a “scholarly” style. It is not due to being intellectually irresponsible—but because all such material would be information gathered-in-time; such writing is intended only for human thinking which functions wholly in never-present time, and is not the Pure Conscious Present I Am. All would-be activity of human thinking or the intellect never really is, thus never is real, or Reality.
An intellect is not the proper “equipment” for discerning Reality, the un-intellectual pure Conscious Presence I Am.
HEART DETOX: HIGHER VIBRATIONAL EMOTIONS AND THE INFINITY-FIRE
This is my favorite passage in “Awakened by Heart-Fire: Wildland Fire Stories and The Secrets to The Universe” by Thomas M. Wurm.
My experience with heart detoxification took time and practice, but the fastest way you can achieve it is through a technique called Mental Emotional Release (MER), also known as Timeline Therapy. The basic idea of the technique is that you travel back through your timeline to a root event that is causing emotional pain. You see the event from a distant view, harness the lessons you needed to learn, and release the emotions behind the event. Letting go of the emotions behind a traumatic event almost instantly changes your vibration.
The universe is based on vibrations, and to change my vibration I had to delve deep into release-work to break down the upper-limiting subconscious walls that I built for myself. I discovered that I didn’t have just one wall that was separating me from my highest potential, but rather, I had many that worked together to form a maze that required me to confront my inner child and work with my anger. My anger constantly erected roadblocks and lowered my vibration to the point that I couldn’t hear my Heart-Fire. Detoxifying my heart required acupuncture, meditation, Ho’oponopono, hypnosis, MER, and honesty, fully supported by the Heart-Fire embrace of my life.
Every day proved to be an act of courageous folly. I stumbled my way through my heart detoxification so that you could read this book and detox with grace. The most valuable lesson I can share from the detoxification of my heart is that the fabric of the universe is comprised of unconditional love and all the actions that move through this medium are compassionate exertion. Unconditional love and compassion are vibrations, and the detoxification of your heart is ultimately achieved when your heart is returned to this specific vibration.
Preparing for detoxification requires purifying the mind, body, and spirit, as discussed in the previous chapter. Detoxifying your heart is the way in which you clear all of the emotional blockages that hold you back from your highest potential. The heart is a tuning fork and detoxifying it requires clearing away the sludge that enrobes it while allowing the universal vibration of unconditional love and compassion to ring inside you. Surrendering your emotional sludge to the Infinity-Fire is the basic tool for detoxifying your heart. Fully ceasing your resistance to the Infinity-Fire while co-creating a new self-image takes courage because you have to face yourself.
Surrendering your lower vibrational feelings to the Infinity-Fire will return the heart to its original frequency and its original instructions. As just mentioned, the heart is a tuning fork and it resonates with vibrations—it’s all a vibration. Lower vibrations are emotions that bring you down like anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, and hurt. Higher vibrational emotions are unconditional love and compassion, and when you hold these feelings, your heart is strong and ready for activation. When your heart is clear and open, your heart center will brightly burn, and you will feel released from lower vibrational forces.
Think of your heart as a glass filled with murky water. If you want your glass to contain clear water, you need to pour out the murky water and obtain clean water from the faucet. Your faucet is the Infinity-Fire!
Once your heart is detoxified, only your limiting beliefs will hold you back from
being able to hear your Heart-Fire for the first time. A limiting belief is when you make a decision to believe something that isn’t true during a traumatic event in the past. In most cases, the limiting belief is so literal that you don’t even realize you are carrying a lie inside your heart.
PRACTICING MINDFULNESS WITH MINDFUL EATING
This is my favorite passage in “Meditations on the Natural World: A Guided Journal To Help You Find the Technique That's Right for You” by Molly Larkin.
— “We meditate to silence the chatter in our minds so as to make space for inspiration." — Molly Larkin
People tend to use the terms meditation and mindfulness interchangeably, but there is a difference. Meditation is when you intentionally set aside time to meditate sitting in one place and practicing your chosen technique.
Mindfulness is giving your undivided attention to what you're doing, as opposed to daydreaming or multi-tasking while doing it. So, mindfulness can entail eating an apple and just eating the apple and nothing else. Jr entails consciously selecting the apple, washing it, looking closely at it, biting into it and noticing the texture, the flavor, the sound it makes as you chew it, and enjoying it with no distractions. That's mindfulness.
In today's hurry-up world, we are often multi-tasking and eating on the run. How often do we eat slowly, consciously, and silently, really paying attention to the food? That would be practicing mindfulness. Both meditation and mindfulness entail focus—an attempt to stop or at least slowdown, the 50,000 random thoughts that may wander through our minds.
— “Don't let a wandering mind control your life. Learn to control your mind through meditation." — Molly Larkin
Mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness, focusing on what you're doing, and trying to keep your mind from wandering. It's purposefully paying attention to things we normally never give a moment's thought to—things we often do while multitasking.
The fact is, multitasking is not as productive as we think. Our brains aren’t equipped for multitasking those tasks that require brainpower. Our short-term memories can only store between five and nine things at once. When you're trying to accomplish two dissimilar tasks, each one requiring some level of consideration and attention, multitasking is counterproductive. When you multitask, you actually don't work faster, your stress level soars, and you're limiting your short-term memory and creativity. It’s fine for simple tasks—I can dust and talk on the phone with the best of them. But multitasking isn't effective for serious work.
Now back to mindfulness:
How often do we daydream or let our minds wander while doing an everyday task such as washing the dishes? What if we didn't let our minds wander, but rather focused on the task at hand, clearing the mind of all other thoughts. That would, indeed, be profoundly restful and relaxing. Earlier, I mentioned practicing mindfulness while eating an apple. In addition to eating, one can mindfully wash the dishes, sweep the floor, make the bed, prepare a meal, listen to music, or eat a meal, and much more.
To mindfully eat an apple, do only the following, without multi-tasking; stay aware of your breathing, your inhales and exhales throughout.
1. Select an apple.
2. Wash it.
3. Dry it.
4. Look at it and give it your undivided attention.
5. What kind of apple is it?
6. Where did it grow?
7. What color is it?
8. What is its shape and size?
9. How does it feel in your hand?
10. What does it smell like?
11. Take a bite and chew slowly.
I. What sound does it make as you chew?
II. What does it feel like in your mouth?
III. Chew slowly and savor the taste.
As you become fully aware of eating the apple, you become fully aware of the present moment. You become more alive.
This is practicing mindfulness.
In The Wind Is My Mother; The Life and Teachings of a Native American Shaman, Bear Heart teaches about the Native American practice of eating in silence, without television or conversation:
"You need to pay attention to your stomach, what you're putting into it and how you're doing it because your stomach is your biggest help. It's where the energy that sustains your life enters your body. You think you save a lot of time by working while you eat, but then you don't understand why you feel tired and have such bad indigestion. No wonder so many, executives have ulcers."
Just focus on the blessing of the food and nourishment you’re receiving. Visualize it going through your body and creating health and well-being. That's mindful eating.
CREATIVITY AS THE ANTIDOTE TO SCARCITY
