BUILDING TRUST FOR A HAPPY BRAIN!
This is one of my favorite passages in “Habits of a Happy Brain: Retrain Your Brain to Boost Your Serotonin, Dopamine, Oxytocin, & Endorphin Levels” by Loretta Graziano Breuning.
— Direct human trust always comes with the risk of disappointed expectations and feelings of betrayal. Those bad feelings built circuits that fire when you think about trusting again. Your neurochemical alarm bells ring and your brain presumes there’s a good reason. But if you give up on direct interpersonal trust, your brain feels that something is missing. And it is: Oxytocin is missing.
Start with small steps that don’t trip your alarm. Every time you feel good about an animal, a crowd, or a digital relationship, tell yourself “I am creating this good feeling.” It may sound silly or self-centered, but knowing that you are creating it gives it a chance to grow. There will always be reasons for distrust to grow, so a source of balance is precious.
Notice your trusting feelings from any source for forty-five days, and you will build a foundation that can ignite more.
Maybe there’s someone you want to trust, but you can’t bridge the divide. It’s good to know you can build trust with a long series of very small interactions. Individuals or groups with an unfortunate history cannot always wipe the slate clean all at once. Intermediate steps build trust gradually. The stepping stones can be placed so close together that neither party risks a big betrayal. Each step need only create positive expectations about the next step rather than resolve the whole problem. Each small experience of trust stimulates the good feeling of oxytocin, which connects neurons that help trigger more.
Divorce lawyers use this strategy to help a couple reach agreement. You might try it with that person who is “ruining your life.” Initiate a very small interaction, and if that proceeds without disaster, do it again. The goal is not to trust blindly and get disappointed. The goal is to build positive expectations.
Coexisting without trust is bad, but getting burned again is worse. So instead of taking a leap of faith with that crazy neighbor or the coworker who stabbed you in the back, you can find steps that are comfortable. For forty-five days, craft reciprocal exchanges that build stepping stones toward trust with difficult people. You can’t predict the results since you can’t control others. But you will expand your sense of control over the trust bonds in your life. This is hard work, and it may not feel good in the short run. But in the long run, it builds confidence that you can do something about those thorns in your side.
You might start by just making eye contact with that person who’s making your life difficult. The next day, you could comment on the weather, and add a smile the day after that. It could take a week to build up to a shared chuckle about traffic, and even that may stir up bad feelings that are curiously strong. But you will continue making neutral contact—neither venting anger nor rushing to please. In forty-five days, you will have built a new shared foundation. You may always need to limit your trust in this person, but you will be able to relax in his presence the way gazelles relax in a world full of lions.
Oxytocin works both ways. When other people trust you, it feels good whether or not you trust them. You can enjoy more oxytocin by creating opportunities for people to trust you.
— Natural selection rewarded those who fanned out from familiar turf. In the animal world, young males are often ousted from their natal groups, or they leave on their own initiative because they’re excluded from mating opportunities. They experience huge cortisol stress when they leave their trust networks for parts unknown, according to excretory samples taken in the wild. This stress intensifies when a new troop rejects them. But the seekers don’t give up. They keep trying to build trust bonds, because it feels great when they succeed.
GUIDED BY LOVE
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Transformations of The Sun” by BethAnne Kapansky Wright.
Soul callings can be messy, let me be clear. Answering a calling of the soul is likely to pluck you out of one life to place you in another. It is likely you will be forced to make a break from who you once were in order to become who you need to be. Not everybody is going to go with you on this journey—in fact, there will be many you leave behind, and that will be painful. But many only see things through a one-dimensional lens, and so they don’t understand your deeper journey or your deeper path; in fact, they may reject the journey and mock the path.
Soul callings will leave you wandering in the wilderness. Going through many dark nights of the soul. Things will not be neat or square and certainly not linear. Mistakes will be made, failures will happen, messes frequent; illumination and resolution and direction can be a long time coming. But despite all of this, despite all the doubts and confusions and “where is this going” and questions of your own sanity—you will feel compelled by something inside of you.
You will feel drawn to the light and drawn to the mysteries. Drawn into a deeper relationship with the universe itself. Drawn into a deeper relationship with Love. You will seek more and crave more and find you are not satisfied with one-dimensional reality; that in fact you are seeking a multidimensional life of creativity, connection, and relationship. Seeking deeper truth and knowledge and wisdom that can only be gained through living it. Seeking to serve and heal and shine and be a transcendent light. And that is why you have to pass through so much darkness. Those who shine the brightest didn’t get that way from living life “right” and being “good,” or being perfect and having everything add up on paper.
Those that shine the brightest have usually walked through fires so strong they burned away all that wasn’t real. They have descended into internal hells so dark, they didn’t believe they’d find their way out. They have fallen into abysses and grand canyons of soul pain so deep they scarce knew how to traverse and ascend the terrain. They have made hard choices. They have made leaps of faith. They have been asked to trust when they couldn’t see the way. They have been asked to
bring love and healing into spaces that didn’t look very lovable or healable. They have been purified. Sanctified. Set aside. They have been stretched, broken, grown, shifted, transmuted, transformed, and transfigured throughout the course of their experiences. And they are the ones—from all backgrounds, all creeds, all colors, all beliefs—who have been called to be the healers and light-workers and game-changers and compassion-makers and consciousness-awakeners and way-showers of this world.
They are the ones who have been called to the cause of LOVE. And so as difficult as it may be—they know they can trust their path, and they know they have to trust their path. Because what has been touched by LOVE and blessed by LOVE and claimed by LOVE and guided by LOVE—can never be lost and never be ripped asunder.
BEING OF SERVICE TO HUMANITY
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Ancient Wisdom for Reality Creators” by Tony Samara.
The miracle of life and enjoying all its abundance leads humanity to a creative reflection that deepens our experience of this wondrous miracle. This miracle is so often forgotten because of the thoughts and feelings that well up and color the simplicity of each moment and its unique gifts. To savor these gifts it is essential to remember that our desires for more, or something different, or something special, is often camouflaging the very essence of what feeds our heart, what enriches our experience, what deepens our feelings and what centers our thinking back to a sense of gratitude and love. Live simply and appreciate this simplicity by appreciating what is, what you have and who you are, thus allowing this moment to be savored in its completeness. Let's live life rather than chase the idea of life!
How to touch and expand the joy that is our essence but that is often veiled by the mundane and its demands on our time?
Joy is not static, or a place, or even a goal but rather, like art and music, multi-faceted, uncontainable and expansive. The way to experience joy is unique to each individual, yet the core of joy is a shared experience that makes us human and part of an alive participating adventure. Simply put, joy is only understood through the expansion of consciousness. This is when we glimpse what it means to be expansive. Most of us, due to a thousand and one reasons, focus on the lacks, limitations and problems.
These lacks, limitations and problems are so real that they demand all of our attention and from this space we struggle to find the real joy of each moment. Many feel that by resolving what seems to be a block or hindrance for their expansion then expansion will happen miraculously. I see it differently.
What we want is what we need to be!
An oak tree starts as an acorn but it has no doubt that it will fulfil its destiny as a tree. Most of us don't even believe that possibilities and potential are real as our experience sabotages our expansion and holds us in the mud of daily living. The sky, the light, the beautiful stars seem to come from a different world and seem totally out of reach. This leads to depression as we no longer believe in our destiny or even see the light. One of the most important steps to reawaken who we really are is to be of service to humanity.
By being of service to humanity rather than to our perceived needs, we remember in our actions the true meaning of love. Love is expansive. As we expand with this service so does our focus expand, freeing our attachment to the mud, so that we are harmoniously in touch with the Universe. It is not a difficult journey if put into action, but it does seem impossible when one uses the present contracting situation as a limitation to what is possible, and hence why many of us are not able to expand.
I ask you strongly during these intense times not to focus on yourselves or your needs, or the problems, or the lack of joy, or what could be better. No matter how present they seem, please focus on what it means to serve others and as you begin to see the light in every being there is no doubt in my mind that the light within will help the acorn that is in each of us to reach up and open to this new and beautiful expansive experience and hence open up to the joy of life. This is what is asked of us during this special time. It is up to each of you to put this into practice rather than to just meditate upon the beauty of my words. The world needs more trees.
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WHAT IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF OVERWHELM?
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Fully Whelmed: Shifting from Overwhelm to Overflow” by Lisa Dettinger.
What is the root cause of overwhelm? We like to blame our circumstances. We feel overwhelmed by too much coming at us. The deluge keeps pouring over us and filling us up with more than what we can hold, more than what we can control. For example:
• I am too busy.
• This person is too overbearing.
• I am in too much physical pain.
• This is too difficult for me.
• There is too much injustice here.
• I am too confused.
• I have too many bills/my expenses are too high.
• There is too much clutter in my house.
• I weigh too much.
• I have too many problems.
• I have too many responsibilities.
• My (boss) expects too much of me.
• I am too tired.
• My kids are too unruly/disrespectful/messy.
• My (friend’s) emotions are too strong for me to handle.
• This temptation is too great.
• There is too much sadness in my world/ the world.
• This process is going too slowly/too quickly.
• I have too many decisions to make.
• My sorrow is too deep.
• I feel too lonely.
• I am too weak.
There is a dramatic irony with overwhelm. Overwhelm makes us feel as though there is too much of something. In reality, we are experiencing a scarcity mindset. Check out the scarcity that is reflected in the following statements. (Note: all the statements reflect a possible negative thought pattern. That doesn’t mean they are true!)
• Too busy = not enough relaxation time
• Someone is too overbearing = not assertive enough
• Too much pain = not enough comfort
• Too difficult = not easy enough
• Too much injustice = not enough fairness
• Too much confusion = not enough understanding
• Too many bills = not enough money
• Too much clutter = not enough organization
• Weigh too much = not healthy enough
• Too many problems = not enough solutions
• Too many responsibilities = not enough capacity
• Someone expects too much of me = not able to do enough for them
• Too tired = not enough sleep/rest
• Kids too disrespectful = not enough respect
• Emotions too strong for me = not enough stability
• Temptation too great = not enough self-discipline
• Too much sadness in world = not enough happiness in the world
• Process too slow/too fast = not enough patience/not enough acceptance
• Too many decisions = not enough wisdom
• Sorrow too deep = not enough joy
• Too lonely = not enough companionship
• Too weak = not strong enough
— We all have different levels of overwhelm. Some of us know our canoe can hold a great deal of water before it becomes overwhelmed. Others of us begin anticipating overwhelm with just a few splashes of water. Or before we’ve even gotten into the canoe.
Regardless of our capacity, we see the water rising and feel as though there’s nothing we can do about it. Our canoe is being overwhelmed. This is where we get to choose to be defeated or surrendered in our overwhelm.
If we start to feel the canoe sinking from the onslaught of rushing water (we feel the stress, strain, sorrow, or anxiety becoming more than we think we can handle), we can hopelessly sink with it (allow it to bring us down completely) or we can intentionally get into the water, find the intimately whispering peace that God offers, and whelm (experience a surge rising up from us).
Staying in defeated overwhelm is just as hopeless and helpless as believing we’re sinners at our core. We are not hopeless and helpless sinners. We’re saints with the power of the Living God at our core. We have the Life Jacket within us!
Rather than white-knuckling our experiences looking for an escape or a rescue while the water rushes in, we can actually get into the water with our Life Jacket, set our feet upon the Solid Ground beneath us, and whelm from what (Who) is inside us rather than be defeated by what’s outside us.
CREATING INNER FREEDOM IN YOUR LIFE
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Better Than You Think: Developing Awareness for a More Fulfilling Life” by Robert Commodari.
What is inner freedom and what does it feel like? It’s a feeling of knowing things are going to be okay no matter what happens in your life. It’s a place of calm in your heart, a place of peace and contentment. When you are aware of these moments, and you no longer have moments of anxiety no matter the circumstances in your life, you can experience inner freedom.
What would it be like to live a life of freedom? Freedom to be not only what you want to be, but who you are supposed to be. Bigger yet is the awareness that this possibility exists. That is one of the toughest goals to which anyone can strive. If you could be free of all the junk that clutters your mind, imagine the life you would live.
People tend to believe inner freedom is this place of bliss and glee that looks beautiful and easy, and although it can be that, it’s a grind to get there. You don’t just wake up one morning and say, I have inner freedom now! It takes hard work. And it starts with surrendering.
You might think I’m crazy right now, but think about it. In general, when people think about the word “surrender,” they think about throwing up the proverbial white flag. They think it’s giving up or giving in. Most of us think of it as surrendering from something. You have to think counterintuitively. By surrendering, you aren’t giving up, you are going with the flow. You are not fighting the current. And when we go with the flow things seems to come with a little more ease. However, it takes discipline to get there.
I think of setting and accomplishing goals. You can’t set a goal and haphazardly get there. You have to have discipline to do what’s required to get there. The word discipline sounds restrictive and on the surface maybe it is. But when you have discipline and you achieve the goals you set out to achieve, you will feel a sense of freedom. I talked earlier in the book about losing weight and when people would ask me how I did, I would tell them I was on the discipline diet. It takes discipline to be good at something or to achieve something.
When thinking of finances, the word budget comes to mind. People see a budget as restrictive also, but if you have the discipline to stick to a budget (if you restrict yourself now) you will have financial freedom later. It’s counterintuitive. People budget their money and their time more than anything else, and they do this to gain a sense of freedom.
So I take you back to surrender. It takes discipline to stay on the road of surrender long enough to find that sense of inner freedom we’re all after. And when you’re on that road, you don’t feel like you have any control, but you do. You live life with an open hand and an open heart. You’re not holding on to things tightly and this, again, gives you a sense of freedom.
You can develop the skill of surrendering over time by practicing, and the life you lead right now is already the perfect practicing ground. Things come at us all day long. We have fires to put out and issues to resolve all the while trying to make a living, raise a family, and pay the bills. Surrendering to this reality is a way to create inner freedom in your life.
When a situation comes at you, see it for what it is and practice surrendering—in other words, just go with it. As you become more aware in general, you can discipline yourself to be especially aware of the moments that you could surrender to. You might not want to surrender, but after contemplating the situation and the outcomes (surrendering versus fighting it), surrendering is usually the better option. Begin today to learn the art of surrendering and soon you will experience inner freedom at a deeper level.
THE FUTURE OF HUMANITY: LOVE AND HARMONY
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Merlin and the New Camelot: The Birth of Collective Christ Consciousness” by Alison L. James
What has been so misunderstood is that Jesus came to teach man to embrace his own Divine presence, to realize that he is Spirit in form. He taught that to know his God was to know our God. He did not come to place himself above man, nor to start a “religion,” but rather to establish the way of the heart in man on the path to higher consciousness through Love and Compassion.
Jesus said: He that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love. ~ 1 John 4:8 Among the quotations of Jesus, the Bible records many parables that he spoke describing the “Kingdom of Heaven,” i.e., the spiritual realms.
The parables were illustrations to facilitate an understanding of ideas and concepts in common language and allegory. The stories surrounding Camelot performed a similar function in that they helped people to grasp higher ideals. For example, Jesus said: The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof. ~ Matthew 13:31-32
We can understand from this parable that a man’s thoughts, like a seed, may grow from small beginnings. Eventually the birds of the air, namely the “messengers of Divine Mind,” may rest in a fully grown tree. We can interpret the “messengers” to be the higher thoughts or standards of the spiritual realms, or the Ascended Masters and Christed Beings who embody these Truths.
In other words, man may find intrinsically within himself the consciousness that resonates with the Higher Truths of Divine Mind. This higher level of consciousness can be achieved not only within man as he reaches for it, but also established all about him. When man aligns his thoughts with the Higher Truths of Source, then his outer manifestations will be in harmony with the Universal Order. This is the foundation we seek in the New Golden Age, The New Camelot on Earth. When our collective consciousness embraces this awareness, what a magnificent world we can create here together!
In December of 2009, I was blessed to be able to speak directly to the consciousness of Jeshua (Hebrew for Jesus) himself in a channeling session. His gentleness and openness evoked a tremendous rush of love, awe, and wonder within me. His loving presence and energy were palpable. He spoke in a very natural, unaffected manner, as if he were any man you would meet on the street. His relaxed and direct way of speaking allows for easy assimilation of his words. His humility is powerful.
That evening he seemed to me to be “transparent” and so very present, not living in the past. He spoke openly and clearly about his life then and said that the length of time of his suffering was a gift compared to the prolonged death suffered by so many souls on Earth. It was apparent how aware he is of all things of an earthly nature and the human perspective. Of course, his consciousness has evolved beyond that which he demonstrated during that particular physical lifetime and still, two thousand years later man has yet to walk in the Truth of his teachings given at that time. Avoidance is futile; now it is time for man to evolve at the emergence of this New Age, The New Camelot. How blessed are we that the Masters are demystifying so much for us as the dimensional veils are thinning.
Traditionally, we have sought and followed the leadership and presence of teachers and Avatars on Earth to show us how to follow the spiritual path. We may have known in former lifetimes what we know in our hearts to be true now. We may have encountered all manner of persecution and resistance to expressing our Inner Truth, but that time is past. We may each step out and embrace the energies of Love that will transform us now. It is not all about one man, but rather “all men” and it begins with you. You may transcend your past and be the Love and Light that lies on the inside of you.
ENERGY FLOWS WHEN WE LAUGH!
Here is one of my favorite passages in “The Transformation Promise: A Book About Love, Healing And The Flow Of Life” by Johanna Derbolowsky.
Energy must flow, it cannot be stagnant and stay alive. When we try to control our world or our lives, we are going against the nature of being. Only our structures are rigid and beg for control. But life is a mystery. We do not know what will happen tomorrow or the next moment and we don’t even know if we will be here to enjoy it. We often get caught up in trying to predict the future and acting according to the most possible control we can get. Big industries have been created around control. The insurance industry tells us that we will be fine and taken care of if we subscribe. Wall Street analysts try to predict the future and so do psychics. The information obtained may be right or wrong but the important thing is that no matter how much security and control we seek or pretend to hold, that kind of security is nothing but illusion.
Now I am not recommending you cancel your retirement fund and insurance, they are helpful structures just like homes are good shelters, but they are not dependable, they are temporary. What I am asking you to do is to see it for what it is: a good tool. When people come to me and say they want security, I recommend they move into the highest security prison they can find. It is the most predictable environment to live in. But even there, they would be unprotected from natural disasters, illness or death. Plus I doubt that any of you want to spend the rest of your lives in that kind of environment. What is constant, what is predictable is the flow of motion. How it will flow and where it will flow, we don’t know. But that it will flow is guaranteed.
Imagine you are watching water, tar and light flow over a distance towards you. Immediately you know which will reach you first according to how fast each one moves. Light is by far faster than the others and water is still much faster than heavy tar. Life-force-energy is also affected by its consistency.
The lighter we keep things, the easier it is to flow. I always recommend a good sense of humor and not to take yourself too seriously. I am sure you have heard the saying that laughter is the best medicine. That is because energy flows fast when we laugh. There is so much more to the universe than we know and understand, it is always expanding and challenging us with new riddles to solve and things to discover. Because of life’s unknowns it has been my experience that the universe always has the upper hand.
When I am dead set on an answer or have an unwavering opinion, something often happens to challenge that answer, that viewpoint, or outlook. And in the end, it is not the answer or point of view but the ever-expanding movement forward that makes life worth living. Challenges present themselves to propel us forward and keep us alive.
If you were on a beautiful tropical island, enjoying everything you could possibly want and a voice inside you told you to get up and do something that would cause you discomfort and challenge your core, you would ignore it, or at best say I will do it later. But what if moments later a hurricane approaches and shakes you out of your comfort and you are faced with challenges? Instantly you become much more open and listen to that voice for possible solutions. This is the universe’s way of nudging us forward, giving us the opportunity to shift. And the truth is, there is no way to control the nature of flow. The only control you have is how well you navigate it.
UNDERSTANDING AND IMPROVING FOOD CHOICES
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Whole Person Integrative Eating: A Breakthrough Dietary Lifestyle to Treat the Root Causes of Overeating, Overweight, and Obesity” by Deborah Kesten and Larry Scherwitz.
Our research revealed that being overweight and obese may be the visible manifestation of years of overeating, but for many, overeating often first begins in the mind — meaning, with the thoughts you think that lead to emotions you feel; soul — whether you live with a consciousness of heartfelt gratitude, mindfulness, and loving regard...or not; and whether you eat while surrounded by satisfying, supportive social connections...or not. In other words, overeating and ensuing weight gain are about more than calories in, calories out. They are influenced by the state of your psyche and spiritual and social dimensions.
Most of us are familiar with the phrase “emotional eating,” turning to comfort food to soothe negative feelings such as depression, anxiety, or anger, but also sometimes to enhance joyous, celebratory feelings in response, let’s say, to a birthday or promotion. If you often experience out-of-control eating to manage your feelings and to self-soothe—in other words, for reasons other than having a healthy appetite—it’s likely you’re an emotional eater.
If you are, this matters a lot to you and your weight, because out of the seven overeating styles Larry and I identified, Emotional Eating surfaced as the strongest predictor of overeating—and the number-one contributor of weight gain. Indeed, although all seven overeating styles are significantly linked to overeating and becoming overweight and obese, Emotional Eating was leaps and bounds ahead of the others as a predictor for overeating and weight gain.
Another powerful insight is this: Emotional Eating is just a nose length ahead of the Fast Foodism overeating style in predicting obesity. Put another way, the two overeating styles of Emotional Eating and Fast Foodism are the strongest drivers of overeating and becoming overweight and obese.
Shedding still more light on this overeating style is the family of negative emotions we identified that are strongly linked with the likelihood of an emotional-eating episode. Here they are, ranked from highest to lowest: anxiety, frustration, depression, anger, and sadness. And though it’s not exactly an emotion, we define “food cravings” as the sixth negative emotion in the Emotional Eating overeating style. Think of these negative emotions like genes shared by close siblings. If you experience one emotion, such as depression, you are also more likely to experience other emotions such as frustration, anxiety, or anger.
With yet another twist of our statistical kaleidoscope, we gleaned insights into improvements emotional eaters made—in both overeating and weight loss—after they completed my six-week, eighteen-lesson e-course on Whole Person Integrative Eating.
Our key finding: the combination of reducing negative feelings and improving food choices were the strongest predictors of how much weight people lost. In other words, feelings and food choices are key factors in controlling weight.
CREATING NEW BELIEFS — ASKING BETTER QUESTIONS
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Your Unique Style of Fit” by Audrey Pullman:
Beliefs are the blueprint – the software – of the unconscious mind. Focus aligns the energy field of the brain, and repeated focus rewires the brain. In this way, belief becomes an anatomical reality. Beliefs determine what we will or won’t do. What we believe – the meaning we feel certain will come from situations – determines how we behave and what we will do. You are not ready for a thing until you believe you can acquire it.
Belief can be inscribed by affirmation or repeated instructions to the unconscious or subconscious mind. Repetition of affirmations to your unconscious mind is a powerful method of voluntary development of belief. Any thought that is repeatedly passed on to the unconscious mind is finally accepted. This is as true for wealth accumulation as it is for other consistent repetitions such as crime.
There are basically two types of beliefs:
1— Global Beliefs. “Life is…” “People are…” “I am…” Each affects the way we look at and interpret things and their meaning.
2 — Rules. Cause and Effect Beliefs “If, then” “If this, then that.
We have brain algorithms of behavior, emotional, and attachment.
Your state of mind – the particular software program you use – determines the meaning you attach to a stimulus. The meaning you attach then determines your behavior.
There are two primary ways to regulate your state of mind: Physiology and Focus.
— Physiology: How you use your body to change your body and your biochemistry-to change your state of mind. There are three primary tools: relaxation, deep breathing, and meditation.
— Focus: What and how you direct conscious attention. From quantum physics and the brain: you get what you focus on, not what you want. Focus aligns your energy field. What you focus on, or what you pay attention to, determines your state of mind. Our minds work by consciously selecting the one focus that we want to register at any moment. By holding this one thing in conscious awareness, we give relative inattention to everything else.
This means that we have an immediacy bias: we assign undue weight to whatever we pay attention to at the moment.
The questions we ask determine what we focus on. Questions direct the focus, and therefore, determine the state we are in. If you have a habitual feeling you don’t like, it can come from a repeated focus and questions: Why does this always happen to me? The presupposition is that you are in a passive position and ineffective. Why am I overweight? The focus is on overweight.
The quality of your life can be influenced by the quality of the question you ask daily.
Change the questions. Ask a better question.
You are asking questions from the moment you wake up, although you may not be aware of them. If you immediately began asking, “What can go wrong today?” You have already begun a scenario that establishes a negative state of mind. Another bad question: “Can I really do this?”
Your brain follows your focus, whether that is positive or negative. Ask questions habitually that empower you. Ask a better question. Instead of “What might go wrong today?” ask “What will I create today that will be more powerful than I ever dreamed of?” “And have fun doing it?” Instead of “Why am I overweight?” Ask “What can I do today for better nutrition and physical shape?”
THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE
Here is one of my favorite passages in “My Dog is More Enlightened Than I Am” by Maureen Scanlon:
A common thread among humans: to fight for what is right! The only problem is that what is right for me is not necessarily right for you. Herein lies the rub, trying to convince each other that our view is the right one. What we believe is right comes directly from our values—the deepest level of our subconscious programming.
This is how we spend our thoughts and how we evaluate our thoughts. It is also from our perception and experience up to the minute. Perception is the interpretation of our experiences, which are always subjective and never objective.
Our experiences are processed three ways: through deletion (leaving out details that are irrelevant), distortion (seeing through our belief system), and generalization (categorizing).
In the teachings of Abraham Hicks, Esther Hicks states that our connection to our higher (spiritual) self is strongest when we arrive in our physical bodies. That means we haven’t “forgotten” who we really are.
The difficulty is holding on to that throughout our lifetime. Through all of the difficulties, situations, and conflict, we are told, shown, and we witness that it’s easiest to comply since that makes those around us most happy. Then eventually we come to realize that we are not happy making others happy.
The need to separate yourself in a competitive way will keep you out of your own happiness. People will always try to get you to see things from their vantage point. This is an impossible task. We will never be able to see things from other’s views; we can only evaluate based on our separate, individual journeys.
When you are in alignment, there will be many around you who do not understand, who will feel that you represent who they are failing and how they are not in touch with who they really are. The beauty of this is if you are staying in your place of joy, those who are not will slowly fade or separate from you. The energy and vibration you are sending will be uncomfortable.
“You will not rendezvous with negative thinkers unless you are one.” —Abraham Hicks
From this, there will be two different types of people: those who seek to remember who they really are and set out to find their happiness and pursue what feels good. And the others reprocess negative outcomes and feelings and stay stuck in a cycle of not knowing their true potential.
ALLOWING LIFE TO UNFOLD WITH EASE AND GRACE
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Go In Joy! An Alphabetical Adventure” by Joy Resor:
Admittedly, the concept of allowing is newer for me. I come from a dear line of perfectionists and controlling souls who aren’t big fans; they want things a particular way. Truth be told, they create lots of drama which gives me emotional pain, the part of my journey calling me into the peace and joy I radiate.
My parents aren’t healed into whole, serene beings, coming from parents who aren’t healed into whole, serene beings and on through our ancestral lineage. Can you relate? Are you an adult who grew up in a home of mood swings and unpredictability?
Allowing each person to be who he or she is in any moment is a gift to everyone present. In a sense, we’re witnessing the other or holding space for the other to be who they are. Allowing invites freedom into moments, which brings us to acceptance. The more I accept and love myself, the more I’m able to accept and love you, allowing you to be who you are.
How often do we allow life to be what it is, without needing it to be otherwise, without resisting what it is, by simply accepting the moment before us? When we’re driving along and we encounter a traffic jam, how do we react or respond? Do we get all tense and angry? Do we breathe and stretch? Do we pray the jam swiftly clears? Do we make a call? Have we left extra time to arrive where we’re heading? Are we running late again?
I’ve evolved from reacting as my family did to leaving extra time, allowing me to respond with a smile, knowing that the jam will clear, because I’m usually not trying to cram too many stops into my days. For the most part, I no longer run on adrenalin. I breathe into moments, activity and appointments, allowing life to unfold with ease and grace, as it does so well. Live into more allowing with others and moments.
How to Purchase it:
Please send an email to joy@joyonyourshoulders.com to purchase this wonderful book for a reduced price!
THE HARMONIOUS STATE OF BEING
Here is one of my favorite passages in “A Change in Perception” by Sherryl Comeau:
Spirit Team: As we move on, we would like to discuss another topic: energies. The energies one carries can slow down the progress of moving forward if they become too heavy. The energy stagnates and becomes heavy. That’s when the physical body becomes ill. The energy in the body moves slowly, causing the organs’ vibration and speed to move more slowly, creating disease in the system and eventual discord or lack of harmony within.
The harmonious state of being is crucial for the human being to expand its consciousness. As one becomes interested in taking care of the self, a spark is ignited. It is at that moment that the subconscious mind is activated on a linear timeline. It opens to us.
As one meditates and listens, it moves one’s frequency in the stillness, the quiet. It’s in the silence one hears. It can become deafening at times once we have become better connected. Moving forward, we’d like to discuss something else with you. It is inevitable that people will ask how long the human race has been moving forward.
How long have they truly been on a path of moving forward since World War I, World War II, the Civil War, Vietnam, etc.? The answer is, “Since the beginning of time.” The frequency at this level (3D) is slow and heavy. It takes time for enlightenment. Enlightenment comes to those who persist even in their darkest hour.
They hold faith in something larger than themselves. When one holds faith in that thought, one continues to move forward. It’s when one stops believing one is better than what’s taking place in these dark moments that one stagnates. It’s in stagnation and disbelief that one remains in neutral, building heavy vibration frequency in and around themselves.
The way to move forward is through love. First and foremost, one must love the self before one can understand and love others. We’re certain many have heard the phrase, “Love thyself.” As we move on, we would like to discuss another topic: other beings.
— Love thyself.
— Be with the self.
— Happiness is yours if you wish for it.
— Much success is but only a thought away.
— I am all I need to be.
— Love is here to stay.
— Walk in the light.
— Listen and Love.
SPIRITUAL LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Self Esteem and Your Unique Style of Fit!” by Audrey Pullman:
We are spiritual beings and most of us believe in a higher power beyond ourselves. During the good and bad times, we pray to our God or a Supreme power to provide us with guidance, love, and assurance when life happens.
The Law of the Universe is one of the most straightforward laws of cause and effect. Whatever our actions toward another human beings or in other situations, “We Will Reap What We Sow.” If your actions are negative and hurtful you will receive the same corresponding reaction from the universe. However, if your purpose in life is to do good and show love, understanding, and compassion for others so will be your reward from the universe.
When you think about the spiritual laws of the universe, your mind may go straight to the Law of Attraction. However, it turns out that there is a whole network of interconnected spiritual laws that can impact every aspect of your life.
Even better, although these laws can be used to assist in Law of Attraction work, you don’t need to be working on any particular manifestation goal to benefit here. Often discussed with reference to the healing practice of Ho’oponopono, the Twelve Spiritual Laws of the Universe each teach you something unique about well-being, happiness, and success.
When you have a solid sense of these spiritual laws, you develop a clearer picture of your own place in the world. This guide will explore and summarize all twelve of the laws. Plus, it should help you understand how they influence you and how your awareness of them can lead to positive change. When you don’t understand the connections between the spiritual laws, you naturally encounter obstacles.
You may feel lost, frustrated, and confused about your purpose. It may even feel like virtually everything goes wrong for you, no matter how well you think you’ve planned. In contrast, people who live their lives with an awareness of the interconnected laws typically report feeling more confident, productive, and reflective than ever before. While there is advanced personal work you can do with respect to each law, even starting out with this general grasp of the different laws may make a noticeable difference to the way you feel.
1. The Law of Divine Oneness
The Law of Divine Oneness is the foundational law, according to which absolutely everything in our universe is interconnected. In other words, every choice, word, desire, and belief you have will also have an impact on the world, and on the people in your life. Sometimes this impact will be immediate and obvious. At other times, it may take a while to manifest, or you may never even discover that it has occurred. Try to think of yourself as part of everything around you to live in accordance with this law. We are all one, and awareness of this makes us more powerful as well as more empathetic.
2. Law of Vibration
3. Law of Correspondence
4. Law of Attraction
5. Law of Inspired Action
6. Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy
7. The Law of Cause and Effect
8. The Law of Compensation
9. Law of Relativity
10. Law of Polarity
11. Law of Rhythm
12. Law of Gender
Note: Learn more about the other Spiritual Laws of The Universe and what they mean by accessing Dr. Audrey’s book!
YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF CREATES OPPORTUNITIES FOR SUCCESS!
Here is one of my favorite passages in “I Want My Body Back!” by Audrey Pullman:
Life is unpredictable. We live in a world full of twists and turns. It’s full of unexpected feelings of joy, happiness, sadness, and grief.
If you can adjust to the unpredictability of life, you can cope with the life cycle crisis. The goal is to strive for a healthier lifestyle and channel this unpredictable energy in a positive way and learn how to challenge and manage any situations that come your way.
No matter what you try to achieve in your life, you are going to experience life twists and turns. The twist in life is synonymous with stress in life. Stress is an external force that has a negative impact on our everyday living. Turns are like a roller coaster going around and around. There is no straight path to success. You must go through all the different phases of life before you reach a stage where you can call yourself successful.
The brain is an exceptionally powerful tool in the creation of our lives. It ties directly into how our emotions, behaviors, and outer experiences come to be. Because of how powerful it is, it’s important to have a good understanding of its capabilities and knowledge of how it interconnects the ways in which we create our individual realities. If our mental state is confused and unhappy, our alignment with the universe is hampered and our resolve to handle life’s daily stressors is weakened.
The decisions you make create the events in your life. If your thought processes are in a misalignment with the universe, the negative reflection of your life is distorted and magnified. This leads to maladaptive behavior and could affect your present or your future. The choice is yours.
The awareness and recognition of your daily thoughts are governed by the Laws of Life. The law of confusion and unhappiness could lead to mental and physical impairments. A therapy of thought is your fundamental belief of self and its effects are far-reaching because what you desire and think about most often is what will manifest itself in your life.
Optimism allows your brain to navigate the path toward success.
Creative people have developed a self-awareness on how to adjust to life’s unexpected changes at a moment’s notice. They view life as the pure consciousness of elevating thinking to obtain the greatest level of human experience in finding their creative opportunity. Pure consciousness is a state where you realize yourself as pure energy and vibrations.
This pure energy and vibrations are what give creative people inner peace. They know their true and authentic self. They have mastered their fears, anxiety, and stressors in life by delving deeper into their mental psychic and exploring the inner workings of their mind. This is a compelling and dynamic process that takes courage for creative people who must be brave to face their true and authentic self.
THE SECRETS OF A CHANGEMAKER
Here is one of my favorite passages in “The Changemaker” by Deke Copenhaver:
Opening yourself up to the world around you means knowingly exposing yourself to life’s great challenges. But it’s the only way to connect with and lead others in a profound and lasting manner.
Changemakers need to realize and be open and vulnerable to the opportunities around them. They have to be on the ground, in the trenches, whether it’s at a major golf tournament or in the major events of life. Being a changemaker often means starting initiatives or businesses that can make a difference. If your journey leads you to establish a business in the Sunshine State, knowing how to get an LLC in Florida is a crucial step towards ensuring your venture is built on a solid legal foundation.
I didn’t conceive the general idea of what the average man on the street perceives a politician to be. When I first ran for office, I realized not everybody in the city knew me. As a matter of fact, I was pretty much an unknown. But I couldn’t understand why there were people who had never even met me who hated me. I came to realize that it was the negative perception of politics and politicians in general. And even though I didn’t perceive myself as a typical politician, to many of the constituents I served, there were preconceived notions about what a politician was.
Having grown up in the South, raised by parents who grew up in small towns in Virginia, I have a deep understanding of the idea of keeping a stiff upper lip and soldiering on in the face of adversity while not “airing your dirty laundry.”
I respect that idea, but I also see that it can be a faulty mind-set to adhere to. Although I was once a shy kid from Canada, my roots run deep in a culture that I value for its strength, resiliency, and gentility. However, I also understand it’s a culture that’s not at all without its inherent issues, same as with any other culture. In our culture, as within many others worldwide, vulnerability is often seen as weakness, while openly and honestly discussing issues we’re facing as individuals, businesses, families, and communities seems to never be an easy conversation to have. While dealing with Kellie’s illness in my twenties, I had experienced firsthand the toll that keeping a stiff upper lip and not reaching out to loved ones during the difficult times in life can have on you.
The truth is we all have issues and insecurities we deal with on a daily basis, which ultimately makes us all vulnerable and, as much as we don’t like to admit it at times, human. But something we can all learn is that our common vulnerability can be used as a strength, because admitting you have it binds us together in that it begins to build trust with each other.
Changemakers have to be willing to let their guard down as opposed to putting up walls in their efforts to create lasting positive change. But a word to the wise: opening up and letting your guard down in your changemaking efforts often brings you face to face with one of the essential human conditions no one can ever avoid—hurt. I’ve often said that artists and musicians are natural-born Changemakers because of their inherent need to share themselves and be vulnerable.
They are some of the most beautiful souls, and oftentimes they’re the most broken souls because of the world of raw emotion in which they live. The courage
it takes for artists to perform, to open themselves up to critics and cynics, to put their art out there for the world to see and judge is what a Changemaker is all about, whether it’s a musician or a visual artist or a sculptor or a writer.
WHAT THOUGHTS BELONG TO YOU?
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Whatever the F*ck It Takes” by Barbra Gilman:
In our world, fitting in is the numero-uno thing to do. We’ve been trained very well to fit in, and fitting in here means to be right! So, we give ourselves up in order to validate everyone else’s point of view, and we get to be right at the same time.
And boy-oh-boy, when we fit in and are accepted and still get to be right, it’s like a triple-header Yankees game and the annual Macy’s Thankgiving Day Parade rolled into one!
Most people’s lives are trauma, drama, and struggle. What is the value of that? Well, the value is when you have these, you get to fit in. You get to be like everyone else. You don’t have to be inconceivable because you’re part of the herd. You don’t have to worry about standing out or getting kicked out. That’s the value of fitting in. And if you fit in, you also get to share. We love that concept. Unfortunately, when you share you have to bring yourself down to the lowest common denominator of what the person you’re sharing with can receive. They can only receive 1 percent of what you’re saying, so you have to bring yourself down to 1 percent of you. Talk about giving you up!
Unless, of course, you stand outside the insane asylum and look at the notion of “fitting in.” Now from that vantage point, you can see that those who want to fit in are actually choosing against themselves, and never get to be who they truly could be. If they were choosing for themselves, that would actually change everything and give them a life of ease, joy, and glory®! Oh, well, no significance here and no making anyone wrong.
They can always come back and try it again! What have I made so vital, valuable, and real about giving me up to validate everyone else’s point of view? Everything that is, I now destroy and uncreate. POD POC.
ACTION TOOL: Who Does This Belong To? Return to Sender
This is the tool you’ll probably use the most. Because you’re constantly taking on others’ energy, feelings, expectations, fear, worries, and day-to-day thoughts. Though they’re not your own, you take them on as your own. This tool is incredibly potent. For every thought, feeling, emotion you have, ask yourself:
“Who does this belong to?”
Would you believe (I hope you do after you read this!) that 90 percent of everything you think and feel is not yours? Yes, you read that correctly! I know this can sound preposterous the first time you hear it.
However, it’s true. And the good news here is that once you start playing with the Return to Sender tool, not only will you believe me, you’ll also get the added bonus of getting rid of most of the trauma and drama and unwanted feelings you think are yours.
Think about it this way: Would you sneak into a neighbor’s hamper and put on their dirty underwear?? No? Well, guess what? That’s exactly what you do. And in doing all this, in closing the back door, returning to sender, and removing most of the escape routes I used to have—my life and awareness have changed in ways I could never have imagined.
Remember there is no destination; what we’re looking for is More-Better-Greater-Different. I know there is so much more ahead. I KNOW I don’t want to leave this planet feeling like I never became the most POTENT version of me, or at least gave it my best shot. And I am sure you don’t want to, either.
LAUGHTER IS HEALING!
Here is one of my favorite passages in “Write For Life” by David Tabatsky:
“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
– E. E. Cummings
For people living with cancer, it may seem strange or even distasteful to consider humor when facing such serious issues. Yet, laughter can be helpful in ways you might not have realized or imagined. Laughter can help you feel better about yourself and the world around you.
Have you looked at the world lately? It’s pretty funny. Then again, it’s pretty sad, and we need comic relief. Laughter is a natural diversion.
When you laugh, no other thought comes to mind. Laughing can also induce physical changes in the body. After laughing for just a few minutes, you may feel better for hours. When used to supplement conventional cancer treatments, laughter therapy may help in the overall healing process. According to some studies, laughter therapy may provide physical benefits, such as boosting the immune system and circulatory system; enhancing oxygen intake; stimulating the heart and lungs; relaxing muscles throughout the body; triggering the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers); easing digestion/soothes stomachaches, relieving pain; balancing blood pressure; and improving mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity).
Man, this makes me want to stop writing about laughter and look in the mirror — always good for a laugh. Try it. It can’t just be my mirror, can it? Laughter therapy may also improve overall attitude, reduce stress and tension, promote relaxation, aid sleep, enhance quality of life, strengthen social bonds and relationships, and produce a general sense of well being.
The Mind-Body Medicine department at Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) offers supportive alternatives, including laughter therapy, to help patients cope while receiving conventional cancer treatments. Dr. Katherine Puckett, national director of Mind-Body Medicine at CTCA, first introduced laughter therapy to Midwestern Regional Medical Center upon a patient’s request. CTCA now offers humor therapy sessions, also known as Laughter Clubs or humor groups, to help cancer patients and their families use and enjoy laughter as a tool for healing.
Laughter Club is not based on humor or jokes, but on laughter as physical exercise. One exercise involves patients standing in a circle and putting their fingertips on their cheekbones, chest, or lower abdomen. They make “ha ha” or “hee hee” sounds until they felt vibrations through their bodies.
Dr. Puckett says that during these exercises, it’s hard for people not to join in because laughter is so contagious. According to Dr. Puckett, at the end of a session, patients have said things like “I didn’t even think about cancer during Laughter Club” and “That felt great! Things have been so hard that we haven’t laughed in months.” An eight-year-old daughter of a CTCA patient who had been struggling with her parent’s cancer had a revelation while attending Laughter Club.
“I never thought about laughing every day, but now I realize I can. Like even when I don’t feel happy, I can still laugh and feel better.” Sounds like just what the doctor ordered — or should be. On the next page, you’ll find a prescription for fun and laughter. Enjoy it because you must!...
What Makes You Laugh?
Email David with your answer: dtabatsky@gmail.com
INVEST IN YOURSELF
Here is one of my favorite passages in “The Freedom to Eat” by Jackie Trottmann:
— Knowing who you are and loving your life is presented inwardly through your thoughts and feelings. You listen to the still, small voice inside of you that leads you and guides you. It is a strong and confident voice that knows the truth. You are no longer condemning yourself but are nurturing yourself. Wholeness means taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. It means investing in resources and activities to help you be the best that you can be and to live life to the fullest.
Outwardly, you express how you care for yourself. Through your outward appearance, you project your true essence to the world. Caring for your appearance does not meet the requirements communicated by the media. It is an honorable, clean, and respectful appearance of who you are.
So you’re not at the ideal place you want to be with your weight. Don’t let that keep you from looking good and feeling good. Buy some new clothes that look great on you right now. This means, the right fit, the right colors, the right style that defines your authentic self. There are many retailers with bargain deals, so there is no need to spend a lot of money while your shape changes. Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight.
This may seem a little silly to bring up, but you’ll be surprised how much better you will feel if you wear underwear that provides the support needed in all areas of the body. Some stores may offer bras and panties that look great, but don’t have the fit that will make you feel comfortable all day. If you find yourself tugging and pulling on your clothes all day, that certainly doesn’t look good or feel good! As your guide, remember, if it makes you feel good, then go for it; otherwise, focus on buying something that gives the right support and makes you feel better. There are many pretty and practical choices available on the market.
If your hair is one of your best features, invest in a great hairstyle, and cut that represents your authentic you. If wearing makeup makes you feel good, pick products that will enhance your features and skin tone. For some, this may mean natural, clean skin. Others may enjoy facials or hair coloring. What’s important is to feel good and to let your inward light shine outward for the world to see. Notice I said to let it shine. You don’t have to make it shine.
Don’t allow negative talk! Keep reminding yourself that you are loved unconditionally. Each day you are discovering what it means to feel connected to your Creator and in this process; you are experiencing love, joy, peace, power, and wholeness.
Time is our most precious commodity. Be careful how you invest your time. Practicing the first secret of awareness will help you to be conscious of how you spend your time and how participating in activities that are not serving you will cause you to feel bad. Invest your time in activities that will nourish and feed your mind, body, and soul and not deplete you.
Find positive lifestyle types of media to give you new ideas and enhance your new authentic style. The same goes for camping out on social media, watching certain television programs or movies. I found the more I saturated myself with images that I couldn’t attain (I will never be 5’11” except in five-inch heels) and material possessions that were not practical or true priorities like yachts or thirty-room mansions (not a heart’s desire or a need for); it would still make me feel less worthy. Don’t allow that to happen. Change your focus from lack to abundance by feeding your mind, body, and spirit with positive books, friends, entertainment choices, and activities.
Also, Watch The Inspirational Book Passage Video:
