7 REASONS BASEBALL IS GREAT FOR YOUR BODY AND MIND

It has long been known that physical activity is not only good for your body’s health, but for your mental health too. While we all know how important it is to exercise regularly, many of us struggle to find the time or motivation to do so, or wrongly believe that we need to pay for a gym membership in order to stay fit. If you are looking for alternative ways to exercise, here are some reasons why you should consider playing baseball to keep healthy.

1— It is a Social Sport

Compared to going for a run or working out at the gym, baseball is a social activity. Playing a team sport fosters a sense of belonging, something which is important for mental and emotional health, and playing baseball is fun, releasing endorphins and making you happy. Being part of a team and playing baseball regularly also gives you a reason to exercise, as well as support, meaning you are more likely to keep it up.

This is not to say that baseball cannot be practiced alone. There are many products on the market which enable you to practice and perfect your baseball skills. First Pitch is a well respected manufacturer of such items, including pitching machines to help your batting.

2— It Improves Cardiovascular Fitness

The bursts of running associated with playing baseball contribute to cardiovascular health by increasing your heart rate. Batters and outfielders in particular will regularly have to run, which not only keeps your heart healthy by making it work harder, but also increases lung capacity to keep your body provided with enough oxygen to sustain it.

3— It Builds Strength

Baseball provides a good whole-body workout, but is especially good for building strength in the arms, chest and shoulders through throwing and catching, and in the legs through running, and even squatting when playing in the position of catcher.

4— It Helps to Maintain a Healthy Weight

On average, at least 350 calories are burned an hour when playing baseball, although this can vary depending on how much you weigh, and how active you are during the game. Maintaining a healthy weight is important, as many health conditions are associated with being overweight, and it is also easier to stay fit when we are within an optimal weight range.

5— It Benefits Mental Health

Playing baseball is good for your mental health, not only because of the positives associated with physical exercise and team sports, but also because it is a powerful stress relief tool. It provides a healthy outlet for stress, takes your mind off worries, helps focus, and having to make split second decisions while playing keeps your mind sharp.

6— It Improves Coordination

Having good coordination is important to keep your body working optimally, especially as you age. Good coordination, as well as core strength, keeps your body working well, and reduces the risk of accidents. Throwing, catching, and hitting a baseball are great ways of improving hand-eye coordination.

7— It Gets You Outside

Generally, baseball is an outdoor sport, which is another benefit of the game. Being outdoors has multiple benefits, both physical and mental. Exposure to sunlight increases your intake of vitamin D, which is difficult to get from other sources. Fresh air is good for your lungs and immune system, and is known to reduce stress and improve mental cognition.

Team sports such as baseball are a fantastic way to encourage children to keep fit, as it fosters positive feelings – being more about having fun than specifically exercising. Baseball is also something that anyone can get involved in; even if they are not taking part themselves, watching baseball games can be a great way to socialize.

Written by Joniel Suezo

FINDING STRENGTH YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD

Here are some of my favorite passages in “Rise Above Disruption” by Khaled Khorshid

 

— I cried about my situation – how things changed for the worse. I just grieved over life and everything that I had. My tears and sadness showed how much I missed my old reality, even though I willingly took some of the decisions, such as ending my relationship.

What I missed were the symbols of my success and hard work! I missed my old house, even though I willingly sold it to pay for my kids’ education. My son and daughter are my worlds, and I would do anything for them. My whole existence since my children came into my life has revolved around ensuring that they have the best of everything. I have tried to make sure they have the best opportunities in life, materially, educationally, and, most of all, emotionally. Life has taught me that crying and grief are good emotions. I did not want to accept all that had happened at the time. Weeping out your sorrows is the first step in accepting the situation. It is why grieving made a positive contribution to my journey of recovery.

Being sad is a strength, as you require courage to shed tears. It’s not how we are conditioned to think, though, is it? Typically, we believe that we must be able to control our emotions, and crying is a sign of loss of that control. It most certainly is not! Nothing can be more valuable than the truth itself.

My crying was solitary. My experience of crying, up until that point, was watching others cry. It was infrequent and only occurred for a few minutes. My crying was on a whole new level to anything I had witnessed any other person do in real life or a movie. I was almost inconsolable. Not only was I grieving for all that I had lost, but I was also crying over my stupidity of not appreciating what I had owned. On reflection, appreciating material things that I had owned in the past was quite a folly.

At the end of the day, materialistic entities can never console one’s soul. Material possessions are not that important. We all know that, but sometimes, we need to have a reality check to stop prioritizing and wanting materialistic possessions so much.

What is important is the strength of our character. What matters is if we can find reasons to laugh and understand that we have a purpose. It’s the people we love that make our world beautiful. They are the people who matter to us and whom we matter to. It is essential to have a voice that is heard, but it is also vital to learn to listen.

It would have been beyond embarrassment had I cried in front of anyone else. Whenever you see anyone cry in real life, they are always apologizing for showing their emotions. You hear them make comments, such as “I’m so sorry to do this in front of you” and “I’m so sorry you had to see that.” The responses in return are often something like “it’s okay,” “don’t worry about it,” and “It’s not a problem.”

In reality, we feel uncomfortable because we feel useless, as we are unable to stop the person from crying. We want the crying to go away somehow. Crying is considered an act of shame in public. It is not as it is, in fact, a logical recognition of what is happening in a person's life. I never thought that I would think this way, but there is a lot that life teaches us. Crying is therapeutic. It is almost like a cleansing of emotions and negative thoughts. I was surprised that I felt better after crying, and after some time, it became less frequent. My resilience started supporting me without me even realizing it.

I had lost all that I had; my company, work, wife, house, and health. They were times when I felt absolutely worthless and helpless. It was what created room for self-realization. I actually did start to find out who I truly am. I did not realize that deep inside my soul, there was gratitude for being alive, resilience to accept all that happened, acceptance for what God has put me through, and relief for having nothing to worry about.

Yes, strangely enough, I felt relief. I found myself thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen? Death? So be it. If I die, I’ll be relieved from this pain, and if I continue to live, life cannot get any worse than it is. Let’s be grateful!” Even though I gave myself this pep talk, I kept drifting from moments of despair to this positive approach about what my fate could be.

My despair thoughts were, “What? Be grateful? Look at yourself; you’re miserable, you lost everything, you have cancer, you are alone, you have nothing!" It was a constant battle of negative and positive thoughts – a battle that did not seem to end. It was draining my limited energy levels, but I couldn't stop myself. The cancer was incredibly, extremely demanding, as it exhausted me physically and emotionally.

My friends and family were quite supportive when I was fighting cancer. They rallied around me, giving me so much unexpected support and overwhelmed me with love and motivation to get through this difficult time. Then, as time went by, their support waned. Not because they didn’t care, but because that’s how life is – happening. Cancer, on the other hand, is not like a common cold. It sticks around for a long time!

Cancer treatments are time-consuming, and there is no straight line of progress. It can’t be managed like a project at work, tamed like a pet, or nurtured like a child. Medics are still learning about the intricacies of all the different types of cancer and the nuances and measures to cure this awful health condition. People have their own lives to live. I suppose that seeing someone not improving might be disheartening or uncomfortable for most people who are around cancer patients. It’s a bit like when someone suffers the bereavement of a close family member or friend. People just do not know what to say. Natural human emotion is that if something is wrong or someone is in trouble, we put all hands to the pump to fix the problem.

For most of us, the problem is that the task of fixing the death of someone and curing someone of a serious health condition such as cancer is outside of our skillset. So, it makes people stay away. Gradually, the calls become less frequent. Then, you don’t get invited out to parties and celebrations. It’s so uncomfortable for most people to cope with that. They do nothing rather than doing something wrong, which is more painful. Honestly, it is perfectly understandable.

Let me tell you, you will find a strength that you never knew you had. Trust that strength and trust in your ability to remain strong. You are not weak, and you need to tell yourself that over and over again. No matter what has happened to you in your life up until this point, you always have the right to smile.

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WHAT DO YOU TRULY WANT?

These are some of my favorite passages in “I Attract What I Am” by Melissa Dawn.

 

— I decided to use my life purpose statement as my tagline: “Create an orgasmically joyful life & business.” Now this was a brave statement. I ran the tagline by some friends and was told it was too risky. It was too out there. They told me people would think I was a sex coach. Then I ran it by some of my clients and was told that if they had seen that tagline before hiring me, they probably would have thought twice. Only two of my fellow coaching colleagues and my own coach supported my tagline. Out of about 50 people polled, all advised me against it. I had been a business and marketing professional for the past 20 years. Would this diminish my credibility in other people’s eyes? Would they find me crazy or unprofessional? Also... what would my Dad think? Almost everyone polled was ardently against the tagline and all the while, my gut was saying “This is right for you Melissa. It’s brave, just like you. It’s honest, just like you. It’s playful and fun… just like you!

It was really a struggle for me. In my core, I believed the tagline was a true representation of who I am and the message I wanted to convey. After all, who truly doesn’t want to have an  orgasmically  joyful  life  and business?

I realized that it is one thing is to know your values and another thing entirely to put those values out there in the professional sphere – to actually be a living expression of your values in all aspects of your life. After all, if I feel I need to hide who I really am, how can I coach others to live their lives being true to who they are? So “Create an Orgasmically Joyful Life & Business” would be the official tagline. And as my coach said, if it didn’t work out, we could always change it. I worked hard on creating the website. I had to ask some hard questions. What type of coach did I want to be? What type of clients did I want to work with? What type of clients fueled me? Notice I was not asking what the market was looking for. I was starting my marketing with an inside analysis.

Question 1: What type of work brings out the best in me? ​

For me, the answer was simple; working with people that want to feel passionate about their life and create a life that is a true reflection of them, not what others want for them. Guiding clients on how to be the CEO of their life, how to discover their gifts and bring them forward into both their personal and professional life. It’s something I know intimately and have worked hard on myself to learn to do. I’m living that dream and I know how to help people do the same for themselves.

Question 2: What type of clients fuel me?

The people who we work with have a huge influence on the enjoyment of our work. Loving your clients is just as important as loving the work you do with them. To me, the type of clients that fuel me are people who truly want to move forward – clients who are into personal growth. Clients who want to create heart-based lives and businesses, businesses they love to work at all day long even if they don’t get paid (even though they also want to make good money, of course). I believe everything is interconnected:  If something isn’t working in your personal life, it will affect your business (and vice versa). I truly believe in taking a holistic approach and I work best with clients who are on the same page. So there it was. I did some deep internal analysis and had my answers and my content. I was ready to officially launch my website.

COACHING TIP: In everything you do, always start with an internal analysis; always start with you. Ask yourself what you truly want and what you want to create based on what fuels you, your values and your life purpose.

 

P.S.: I LOVE the Coaching Tips in this book!!!

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PROS & CONS OF LIFE COACH AND MENTOR

A life coach is one of those people that help you when you are stuck in a position, either in your personal or professional life. There are certain things that you may not be able to discuss with your loved ones. This is when discussing these issues with a life coach and mentor seems like a better option.

A life coach comes across as a confident, positive, and strong individual who can help you get through a major or minor life crisis, irrespective of how difficult it may seem to you. While they may seem like someone who stands on a podium and talks to a huge crowd repeating the same thing over and over again, the truth is a strong life coach and mentor can positively impact your life and bring out the best in you.

Being a life coach isn't easy and there are various advantages and disadvantages to being one. In case you're wondering what pros and cons a life coach has then let’s take a look at a few of them.

Pros

— Whether it is a one-on-one session or a group seminar, a life coach always manages to make you feel better than you were feeling before you stepped into the seminar.

— They bring about a change in an individual's life and help them live it to its full potential.

— They help people explore their inner talent and come out of the shell that they were otherwise living in.

— They identify when a person is depressed or going through anxiety and help them get treated so that they can live a fuller and healthier life.

— They are a joy to communicate with because they can instantly uplift your mood and help you deal with your problems with more confidence and ease.

Cons

— The life of a life coach is not always all glam. Certain aspects are a little more difficult to deal with and could be considered as disadvantages.

— A life coach is always expected to be in a good mood, irrespective of what's going on in their life. This is not always an easy feat.

— They need to always be prepared to answer questions, irrespective of how complicated they are. Certain people go through a lot and it may be a first for a life coach however they still have to be spontaneous with their answers. A good life coach is someone who is always able to come up with an answer and ease the person sitting across from them.

— A life coach is expected to be confident and always full of energy. This can get difficult at times, especially since they have to work several hours a day.

A good life coach and mentor knows how to balance their work and personal life. They manage to only take up as much as they can handle. This helps them to deliver quality advice and help people turn their life around.

 

Written by: Silvia Quintella

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO EXTRAORDINARY THINGS!

Here are some of my favorite passages in “WHY is Your Reason for BEING” by KJ Lavan

 

— There was a period in my life when I seemed to be living from day-to-day. This was in spite of having quite a bit going for me. I was salutatorian of my high school class, was a leader in the eyes of my high school classmates and faculty, was seen as someone who was most likely to succeed and had made the National Dean’s List in college. With these kinds of accomplishments, you would think I was on the right path. But the reality was this. I had something holding me back. That something was the fact that I was living my fears rather than living my dreams. The cause of my fears was two-fold. It was the fear of not getting what I wanted and the fear of losing what I had.

Unfortunately, this is what most of us do. We let our fears control us, and we make the decision, whether consciously or not, to live an unlived life, a life of mediocrity.

Whenever I go home to visit my parents, I sometimes ask about my high school classmates. My mom and dad are well-known and respected in the small, suburban community in which I grew up, and they frequently run into many of the people with whom I graduated from high school. It fascinates me to learn from my parents who actually became successful and who went by the wayside.

Many of these people were the most gifted and talented students I had known.

Now, to be fair to my high school graduating class, we had seven valedictorians, a very smart class by any standards. Even with that level of obvious capability and talent, many of my fellow classmates haven’t lived up to their potential.

Why is that?

Most of them, like many of us, are distracted by the fear that has kept them from reaching higher. Part of that fear comes from a lack of planning. You’ve got to have a roadmap. As I stated at the beginning of this chapter, you must plan your work and work your plan because without a plan, you’re more likely to aim too low and hit.

For a while, I let fear grip me and keep me from not dreaming bigger. Fear also kept me doubting my capabilities. I was keeping myself hostage for years after graduating from college, mainly due to my limited self-view, which made it difficult to come up with a definitive plan. Even though I knew I had some talents, abilities, and skills, I didn’t fully believe I was capable of doing more than what I had done up to that point in my life.

Just imagine, you have all the necessary talents and gifts that the world is waiting to bear witness to—that voice, that technology, that business, that speech, that product, that seminar . . . You have the power within you to transform your life and millions of lives around the world. If you live your fears rather than living your dreams, you deprive not only the purpose of what you were put here to do, but you also deprive humankind of your contribution.

“Do what you can where you are
with what you have and never be satisfied.”

~ George Washington Carver

Chemist who discovered over three hundred uses for the peanut

For so long, I deprived my life’s purpose. This was mainly because I didn’t have a clear vision, even though I had qualities and experiences that proved I had what it took to do more and to accomplish more. You, me, all of us have what it takes to do extraordinary things.

— One thing is for sure, if we don’t move on life, life will move on us. Our dream, our talent, our gift is calling us, and instead of listening to it, most of us are saying, “Leave me alone!” Instead of living our life doing what the universe has given us to do, we ignore it. Life chases us, and we keep saying no to our higher-calling, to our greatness, thereby disallowing the universe to work through us. We keep running away from the life that is possible—a life of sharing and contributing our talents, abilities, and skills. Again and again, we ignore our calling. Over and over again life says, “Go pursue your greatness.” We scream, “Oh, no, you can’t be talking to me . . . not me! I can’t be the one!” And life replies, “Yes, you are the one. Why not you?”

Most of us don’t have enough sense to listen because if we did heed life’s calling, we could stop life from punishing us. We would make a choice to live a life of substance rather than just existing. Life beats up some people so badly that they finally say, “Okay, okay, I’ve had enough of this mediocre life. From this moment forward, I am committed to living a life of an incredible journey.”

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SECRETS TO LIFE COACHING YOU MUST KNOW

One of the top ways to get through life with ease is by relying on a life coach. This professional can help you reach your goals and feel good about it in the process. Many things may be of great assistance to you that only this professional may know. Learning these secrets could be the key to enjoying a happier life.

1. Set goals

One of the top methods of getting to where you need to be may rest in setting goals. Having a list of things you’d like to accomplish within a certain amount of time can help.

For instance, are you trying to lose weight or start a new business? Writing down the things you’re aiming to achieve in life can be very helpful and may be suggested by your life coach.

2. Create a plan

Working diligently to an adequate amount of research is vital when it comes to having the success you want in reaching your goals. Achieving this will require a bit of dedication and thought for the ultimate results.

However, when you have a thought process to follow legitimately, this can be extremely beneficial. It won’t take nearly as long to get the things done; you’d like to do when you make a plan you can easily follow.

3. Have positive friends

If you want to enjoy long-term success with your endeavors, it’s vital to have many positive friends who can help you. These should be people that lift you up when you’re feeling low and can be of great assistance in reaching your goals.

Never hanging around negative people is the ideal way to feel upbeat. It will take being in a good mood to ensure you don’t quit on the things you love doing for success.

4. Think about your mindset

You’ll want to be sure to have the right mindset for your goals. It’s necessary to want to reach these, and knowing you can do so is essential.

It can be impossible to be successful if you don’t feel in your mind that you’re totally about to make this happen.

Working daily to ensure you get to the point in life where you want to be will take effort. Nothing comes easy, but relying on many of the secrets of professional coaching can be the key method for making this less complicated.

 

Written By: Cristina Dam 

GET CLEAR WITH YOURSELF AND KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

These are some of my favorite passages in “Light Code Planner” by Nathalie Croix.

 

— Wake up! Every day is a new beginning, and every day brings a new opportunity and possibility of a better life. The LIGHT CODE Planner was created to enhance every level and every aspect of your life to help you make the most of those opportunities and possibilities.

Planners are amazing because they help us stay focused and on track. Beginning your day with the right mindset is a game-changer. I invite you to look at your week and plan ahead for all your visions, hopes, and dreams. The LIGHT CODE Planner holds you accountable so that you can achieve your purpose: the WHY you are here on Planet Earth.

Capturing small wins every day enhances motivation. Simply recording progress in some way helps to boost self-confidence and can be put to use toward future successes. A successful and blissful life is the result of a series of small wins.

Joy is one of the highest frequencies we can experience. Though I am a firm believer in focus and discipline, I am also a big believer in having fun. So, every week I will ask you to list activities you will be participating in just for fun, activities which bring you joy. Find joy every day in your life!

Be committed to yourself, to achieving your goals, and in living the life you always dreamed.

If you want to dive deeper and learn even more tools to enhance your life, I suggest you grab a copy of the companion book to the LIGHT CODE Planner titled Living Life In Light, A Yogi's Journey. In this book, I offer many practices for mental, emotional, spiritual, and body health. The book is an offering of light into the world. Connect with your heart space, take a deep breath, flip the pages, and see where you land for a message of the day. It will inspire you to become a better version of yourself in all aspects of life.

LIGHT CODE membership offers a monthly community livestream and digital library with tools and techniques to enhance your life. If you would benefit from continuous support, join the LIGHT CODE membership program, which can be found at nathaliecroix.com/members-portal.

You may also want to check out one of our three LIGHT CODE online courses on lifeonearthpodcast.com

Every day in this planner, I will ask you to write down your goals, morning ritual, exercise, mindful practice, targets, and successes. So, what do I mean by all this? Let me give you some guidance and perhaps some examples on each part of the LIGHT CODE Planner.

— In the LIGHT CODE Planner, you will find two "Six Months Special Pages" one right at the start of the planner and one at the end. Both are titled What Is Your Intention For The Next Six Months? I believe everything starts with an intention. Intentions are so powerful. The simple act of setting an intention can drastically transform any situation for the better.

Oftentimes in my yoga training school and in my coaching programs, I ask my students to set an intention for the next six months of their life. Intentions plant a seed for transformation in your life. In order to set intentions, it's important to release, let go of that which no longer serves you and create space for new energy so you can be the best version of yourself. I also believe having a vision for what you want to manifest is super powerful. The clearer you can become on your vision the more you will step into the flow and will become the creator of your life.

 — What is your vision for these next six months? Is there something you want to manifest or see more of in your life? What is no longer serving you? Can you let go of that which is no longer serving you and create space for new life? Before answering these questions, I want you to sit up tall, align your spine, close your eyes, take a deep breath, connect with your heart space, and pay attention to what you see.

We are powerful beings, and you have the ability to connect with the Universe at all times. There are infinite possibilities for you in this lifetime. The big question is, what is it that you want? Get clear with yourself and know what you want. Once you get clear and know what you want, you need to ask for what you want. There is a great Madonna quote I love and 100% agree with:

"A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."

Unfortunately, many people don't know what they want. My hope is that this planner, The Six Months Special Pages, The Weekly Wisdom Pages, and the Daily pages will assist you in getting clear with yourself so that you can step into your power, know what you want, ask for what you want, and live the life of your dreams!

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WHERE THERE IS TRUTH, THERE IS LOVE

These are some of my favorite passages in “The Spiritual Mind” by Kathleen Kiley Fisher.

 

— The most common misconceptions about the word 'God', or a higher spiritual power in general often arise in early childhood. The dynamics and interactions that occur within a family unit usually leave deep and lasting impressions about whom or what 'Spirit' or `God' is. Through the eyes of a child, both parents and God are authoritarians and are often misinterpreted as being alike.

The immature mind of a child will conclude that if a parent is wise, giving, and loving, then God must be too. If a parent is frugal, absent, or cruel, then so must be God. These deeply embedded, personal beliefs develop and coincide even when a child receives traditional religious dogma that claims God is separate and apart from the whole of humanity.

Children rarely recognize that their parents have some growing up of their own to do. It would be uncommon to find a child who is mature enough to recognize that her parents are not yet completely evolved. And even when this fact is realized as an adult, the child consciousness buried within may still not agree. Internal conflict about what God is will remain until childhood misconceptions are brought to the surface, reassessed by the mature mind, and re-educated with the truth.

Deeply ingrained 'God' images such as a 'stern dictator', 'too busy with others', 'absent' or 'unavailable' will often interfere with your efforts in trying to develop a deep spiritual connection. There are many personal beliefs and experiences from childhood that remain buried within the unconscious of the adult mind. The exercises on the following pages will assist you in bringing your childhood spiritual beliefs to light. Comparing your current beliefs to those of your parents or other caregivers can be a valuable tool in understanding your perception of 'God'.

— Where there is truth, there is love. Where there is love, there is God. Where there is not love, spiritual awareness is lacking.

The search for truth is the ultimate quest in getting to know your real self. Truth creates an open, uninhibited state in your emotional body that generates the strength and courage to feel anything. If you’re unsure about what the truth is, you can do a ‘check-in’ with yourself. Your body and feelings will always let you know the truth of any matter if you’re genuinely open to receiving it.

Truth emits calm and has a calming effect, even when you’re facing something that’s really painful. Genuine sadness will travel smoothly through your system without getting stuck in defended states of fear. Truth provides a strong, solid, inner container that allows your feelings to flow, release, and exit the body.

Fear instills feelings of anxiety, doubt, confusion, and all other defensive, negative responses.  Anxiety is an emotional reaction to something you fear. When you’re feeling anxious, pause for a moment, and ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” You can decrease anxiety by addressing it head-on. You can tune into the specific thought-forms that frighten you. Once you are aware of your misconceptions, you can re-educate yourself with the truth.

Re-educating fear-based thoughts is an essential step in emotional and spiritual transformation. Emotional development is the most challenging phase of spiritual growth as many thoughts are unconscious.

“…when you are in doubt you are depressed, and when you are experiencing truth, you feel happy. Truth must always make you happy – even unpleasant truth. All my friends on the path have experienced how they must occasionally encounter unflattering or unpleasant aspects of themselves. But when desire for the truth within becomes greater than all else, this unpleasant truth will always strengthen and bring happiness. By the same token, if you observe your feelings closely, you will find that untruth, pleasant as it may seem at the moment, never gives you real peace, for deep down your higher self always has the correct answer and you must feel it. This truth will never depress you.”

Remember, developing a clear, inner channel to your spiritual mind takes time, patience, and perseverance. Exercises are provided after each law to embody and experience them in a deep and personal way. Take the time you need for reflection, and most importantly, enjoy your path to spiritual enlightenment!

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WHEN THE ENDING IS ALSO A BEGINNING

This is one of my favorite passages in “The Grief Train” by Marinda Freeman.

 

— I have always created altars in my home – in my bedroom, living room and even outside. I started by creating beauty and beautiful arrangements of loved items and candles. I did this for years before I realized they were altars. For me, it is a space to honor the beauty of life, and perhaps, both the seen and the unseen of life. Crystals, candles, flowers or plants and objects of importance to me are included. Found objects, too, like a beautiful leaf or a heart-shaped rock will get added. It is always evolving and changing – reflecting that I am, too.

I have found that when someone I love has passed, I am immediately drawn to create an altar space with photos of that loved one, with other mementos and flowers, and a candle or two or three. This provides a focus for me to honor them and to physically ground that I am holding them in my heart. It is a place and a space for remembrance. When my friend, Jane, who was like my second mother, died, I kept her altar for a year. With Mike, I moved my altar to different places. At first, his pictures and other items were on my bedroom altar – on top of a large chest of drawers – with candles and a statue of Ganesha I bought him in Bali. For the first few months, I also created an altar space in the living room. After this ceremony for the second anniversary of his death, I put the photos on a shelf in the changing area in my bedroom, a place I look at every day, and added miniature statues of Indian Gods and Goddesses. This altar is still there. A place of my memories of Mike that I see every day.

When our cat, Clare, was put down, I printed out some photos of her and created an altar in the front hall – right in the center of the house – with flowers and a sculpture of a sleeping cat with wings I had found. Clare was sixteen years old and had been in our family for fourteen years. This was an important way for my daughter and me to acknowledge this sad passing in our lives. During this time, a friend died, and I put her photo on the altar with Clare. After a couple months, I moved the altar – with all the photos – to a new place in the living room. It didn’t need to be the first thing we saw when we entered the house anymore. The sculpture of the sleeping cat with wings was eventually placed on her grave at my friend’s house in the country.

Animals are as dear to us as our family and friends. It helps to acknowledge the grief by creating an altar to honor the place they held in the family.

The first cat I ever had was when I was given a kitten in the mid-1980’s. I was living in Connecticut in the woods. I called him Rocky. He didn’t like to be picked up but loved being petted. When he was a year old, he was run over. A neighbor found Rocky and buried him for me. I was devastated. I had no idea I would be so upset, so sad and grieving. Never having had pets growing up, I thought that saying, “I can’t see you now, my cat just died” was overstating the situation. I was so totally wrong. I was heartbroken. Losing a cat – or dog – is losing a family member. Grieving an animal is the same as grieving a person. It’s a heart connection, and it takes time to get over the change and the sadness.

I buried our cat, Thunder, just five months after we buried Clare. He was fifteen years old. The house was so quiet with him gone. Every day when I would come home, I would instinctively look for him and then remember that he was no longer here. He was such a sweet guy and had been my buddy following me around, keeping me company while I worked in the office or in the garden.

I made an altar for Thunder in the front hall so I could have a focus for remembering and mourning him. It was also to honor him for being part of our family and included pictures, his collar and a cat sculpture I purchased to eventually put on his grave.

My daughter was ten when she picked him out from three kittens neighbors left behind when they moved in the summer. We had an opening for a cat as our male cat, Hugger, was gone. She really wanted a black cat and there he was with big gold eyes. He got the cute kitten award at the vet when we took him in to get checked out. She named him Thunder. When the first rainstorm arrived late in the fall, he was out all night. He loved being in the rain. We knew he was not an ordinary cat. As he got older, we discovered he had what they call smoke fur – he looked like a black cat but with white on the inside half his fur.

It’s funny that a critter that doesn’t talk much would take up such a large space in my home and heart. I’ve found this with all my cats. I was surprised originally that cats were such wonderful company. After thirty-five years of cats, I decided to take a break to explore freedom without anyone at home I needed to take care of. It doesn’t mean that I’m not sad that Thunder is gone. It is an ending and a beginning.

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TRANSFORM YOUR THOUGHTS — TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

This one of my favorite passages in “Living Life In Light: A Yogi’s Journey” by Nathalie Croix.

 

Transform your thoughts, transform your life.

We all have thought patterns.

They can be addicting.

Negative thoughts and behavior can be addicting.

Thoughts are things.

When you have a thought, you already sent that vibration out into the universe. Many people nowadays have psychic abilities and they can not only sense but also hear your thoughts.

Everyone can pick up on your thought vibration.

If you are thinking something negative about someone, they will pick up a lower vibration/ negative feeling from you. 

They won’t know why, if they are not in tune with their psychic abilities or cannot read subtle energies.

The world is changing, and many are developing the capability to know where lower forms of vibrations, which can be thoughts for instance, are coming from.

If they haven’t developed psychic abilities, it will translate into something like this: I don’t feel good or great around this person—I don’t know why but I do not trust him or her.

When someone feels this way about you, the result will be they will stop wanting to be around you.

What will happen is they will either consciously or unconsciously start making excuses to not be around you.

This will result in separation.

If you are having negative thoughts about a person, sometimes it is best to share those negative thoughts with them.

Find ways in the principles of ahimsa (non-violence) to let the person know why you feel uncomfortable around them.

Also ask yourself, “Is it them? Or is it me?”

Often times when we have such adverse feelings towards someone it is because they are mirroring something that exists within us which we don’t want to look at.

Perhaps they shine light into darker places within us, making us feel extremely uncomfortable and hence we create negative thought patterns towards them and throw energetic low vibrational arrows towards them, hoping we feel better ourselves.

The reality is this tactic never works.

Another possibility is fear. This person may be showing you something that is unfamiliar to you which causes you fear, in which case is also about you.

If you catch yourself doing this, take some time and go inside. Sit and meditate or go on a mindful walk (no electronics here—just you and the trees) and try to work this through your own system.

Allow this vibration to continue to make its way out of you.

See how you feel after and if the feeling is still there, communicate with that person—and you most likely will work things out.

If you don’t, maybe it is a good time to suggest some time apart from this individual or individuals so things can get to a neutral place, a place of more equanimity and less destructive thought patterns.

This is if you care about the person or situation, because if you don’t care, you can simply walk away.

Walking away is not always easy, especially if is a family member. We all know that. Relationships between parents, sons, daughters, or siblings can be complicated. Adding their significant others can get even more complicated. But as I said, thoughts are things. If you choose to preserve these relationships, it is important you communicate the bad feelings, or the results, can be complete separation from those you love.

Many spiritual teachings talk about close relationships being assignments, whether family or lovers, they represent maximum growth opportunities—so we can face our fears and learn how to love deeper.

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MANKIND IS WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO CHANGE

This is one of my favorite passages in “Flow: The Beginning Is Upon Us” by Jessica Keats.

 

 

On The Unknown:  

— The thing about the unknown is that it is unknown. We have no reference for it and there is no way to conceptualize it. When we are headed towards it our minds begin to find logical explanations for it or against it. Our minds envision where we are going and why we are going and then our minds begin to find all the reasons why we shouldn’t go. We get stuck in the reasons we shouldn’t go as these bring up more and more questions and reasons. All of this is a result of our beliefs and patterns of rejection and fear. We reject what we fear so we make up many reasons to fear this unknown possibility.

Many people call the process of moving into the unknown a “breakdown to breakthrough” or “wading through the muck”, but it feels like this only because of our beliefs, fears and stories resisting the natural process of change.

The true process of moving into the unknown is a process of rebirth. It is a shedding of what we have known and an opening to what we are beginning to know. Everything we have done to this point has us ready for this movement, there are no surprises. There is an ebb that occurs in the Flow, a slowing down, a shedding and integrating. There is typically a celestial occurrence that marks it. Once the celestial occurrence has taken place the Flow picks up again and we start to move in the way we are meant to. Our minds are opened and we begin to take note of where we are now, what has changed and who we have become.

Can something be happening just for us? Just for our evolution? The answer is yes, and it can be happening for others at the same time as us. We are never alone as we walk into the unknown. We are always comforted by others going through the same change. We might not know them but they are out there changing alongside us. We are not alone.

 

On Healers:

— Healers get to the bottom of what ails you. They have been sent during this time with the gifts of being able to see and relieve you of your deepest darkest blocks. They have been sent with the key. The key to unlock the life you were meant to lead. To help release you from your past and let go of what is holding you back. The healers are here to make the transition go smoothly.

In order for this to work the healers must awaken. They must take a step forward. They must tell the world that they are the chosen ones to bring about the change that is needed in you.

Instead of stepping forward, they are getting sick, caught in a roller-coaster of being the one and being afraid of being the one repeatedly. Only the strong win out. Only the brave look for ways to break the cycle and find themselves. Only the determined awaken day after day in search of themselves or others that can help them find The Truth. They are the ones right now searching out cures for their mental, emotional, physical illness. They are the ones learning and soaking up knowledge after knowledge. 

They learn so much, certification after certification, never truly satisfied that they have found the answers they are looking for. In fact, they are clouding their minds with so much unnecessary information that they can’t see past the complexity to the simplest answer. Your heart, your throat and your third eye are the secret. If you can unblock these. Hear, think and feel the right information. Make the right intention being given to you. Whisper the words on your sweet healer lips. You can do away with so much. It is endless. It is powerful. You are powerful. You are the beginning and the end.

All you have to do is turn inwards. Forget everything you have been taught. Come to us with open minds and open hearts. We are there waiting for you. We are there trying to get your attention. We are there begging you to listen, to hear, to follow. Then you can help the world but you must help yourself first because you are not quite at the level, we need you at. We need you to rise and be the healers we have sent you to be. Mankind is waiting for the chance to change and move on to the new way of being that is being rung in by the bells of angels. They can’t do it without you.

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8 TIPS TO KEEP ASTHMA UNDER CONTROL

Asthma can have a big impact on your life. It can cause instances of wheezing or coughing. When this happens, it can be hard for you to get your breath back. At these times, many asthmatics will use a puffer or breathing exercises. At present, though, there is no cure. Because of this, the best option is to try and keep asthma under control. Let’s look at some of the ways that you’ll be able to do this.

1.    Exercise Regularly

One of the best ways to keep your asthma under control is by regularly exercising. This has a few benefits. First, it boosts your immune system. Often getting colds or other diseases can cause breathing difficulties. Exercise will also help to improve the muscles that are associated with breathing.

For some people, exercising can trigger shortness of breath and asthma attacks. To prevent this, you’ll want to make sure that you are warming up and cooling down properly. This will give your body some time to adjust to the changed activity levels. If you ever feel that the exercise is too intense or an asthma attack might be coming on, you should stop. Take some time to get your breathing back under control, then try it again. If these issues continue, you might want to talk to your doctor. They will be able to create a routine that will allow you to exercise safely.

2.    Be Aware Of Your Asthma Triggers

One of the most important pieces of information that you need to know is what triggers your asthma. This will allow you to avoid these things. The most common triggers can include things like dust and smoke. However, you might have things that will be specific to you. If you can’t avoid the trigger, you’ll need to come up with a plan about how to deal with it. For example, you might want to do some breathing exercises.

3.    Monitor Your Mental Health

The interaction between mental and physical health can often be overlooked. But it plays a big role. For asthmatics, panic attacks or periods of high stress can occasionally trigger an attack. The best way to prevent this is by monitoring your mental health. For example, it might be a good idea to take up yoga or meditation. This can help put your mind at ease, putting you in a more positive frame of mind.

4.    Monitor Pollen Levels

For many asthmatics, spring is one of the worst times of the year. Pollen is one of the most common allergens which can trigger a powerful reaction. When you’re outside, you won’t be able to control the amount of pollen in the air. However, you can monitor it and be prepared. Various websites will be able to use sensors to determine the amount of pollen in the air. They can then send this out to you. This will tell you what days you are at the highest risk of having an asthma attack. On those days, you might want to consider limiting the amount of time that you spend outdoors.

5.    Keep Your House Clean

You should be able to control the environment in your home. This will allow you to create a space that has a low risk of triggering an asthmatic reaction. One of the best ways of doing this by keeping your house clean. This will ensure that dust won’t be able to build up. It’s important to vacuum frequently. When picking your vacuum cleaner, you’ll want to get one that has a HEPA filter. This will pick up the smaller dust particles, for a more thorough clean.

6.    Wash Sheets Frequently

You’ll need to make sure that you’re regularly changing your sheets and pillowcase. This is because they might be able to trap dirt. They might also be able to trap in the dust mites and dead skin cells. These allergens have the potential to trigger an attack. It’s recommended that you do this at least once a week.

When picking your pillows, try to get some that you’ll be able to put through the machine. This will make them easier to clean. To keep the mattress clean, you might want to use a mattress protector. This is a thin sheet that goes over the mattress. It should be machine washable. You might also want to vacuum the mattress; this should remove any remaining allergens.

7.    Use A HEPA Air Purifier

One of the best ways of preventing an asthma attack is using a HEPA air purifier. This will suck in the air, cleaning it. The HEPA filtration system will be able to catch even small particles. This system will be able to weed out things like bacteria and mold, keeping you healthy. These air purifiers will be easy to keep clean. In some cases, you’ll need to wash the filter. In other cases, you’ll need to replace it.

One of the best things about a HEPA air purifier is how small they are. This ensures that you’ll be able to have one at home and one in the office. However, for this to happen, you’ll need to know what you’re looking for. This HEPA air purifiers compilation will help you pick a good one.

8.    Use A Humidifier

Cold, dry air can often present a problem for asthmatics. It might irritate the lungs, or cause their throat to become itchier. There are a few ways to deal with this. If you’re planning on going outside, you might want to wrap a scarf around your face. If you’re staying indoors, you’ll be able to use a humidifier to bring a lot of moist air into the house. During the summer months, you might want to use a dehumidifier. This will remove moisture from the air, lowering the chances that mold can grow in your home.

Conclusion

You don’t need to let the fact that you have asthma control your life. You’ll still be able to do all the activities that you like. So, use these tips to keep your asthma under control.

 

By Stacey Collins

A MENOPAUSE BREAKTHROUGH

This is one of my favorite passages in “The Estrogen Fix” by Dr. Mache Seibel.

  

— The confusion from the WHI study left me wondering what other studies, clinical trials, and information revealed about the positive versus negative effects of estrogen. I started reading all the estrogen information I could find to understand why estrogen continued to be the 800-pound gorilla in the room for menopause, women, and their doctors. I analyzed years of data, poring over major and minor studies and hundreds of peer-reviewed journal articles and papers presented at meetings and symposia. I interviewed fellow experienced doctors and top researchers, including Drs. Pauline Maki, Phil Sarrel, Wulf Utian, Isaac Schiff, Mary Jane Minkin, JoAnn V. Pinkerton, JoAnn E. Manson, James A. Simon, Sara Gottfried, Andrew Kaunitz, and others as editor of The Hot Years-My Menopause Magazine.

I did this because menopause is one of the most challenging periods in a woman’s life. As an ob-gyn and menopause expert, I witness on an almost daily basis how menopause symptoms affect the quality of my patients’ lives and their performance in the workplace. Surely there had to be some evidence-based way that estrogen could be used to bring relief.

Each article, presentation, and interview contained a golden nugget of information that together created a pot of gold—something really valuable to help Sharon, my patients, and women everywhere. I came to realize there is such a thing I call the estrogen window, the time in a woman’s life when she can most safely take estrogen and benefit from it in many ways.

Consider the hormone insulin for a diabetic patient. Taken at the right time, insulin regulates blood sugar, keeps diabetes under control, and wards off potentially devastating side effects. If insulin is given at the wrong time, a diabetic can go into diabetic shock. For estrogen, too, timing is very important. As a medication, it is not about being either good or bad. It’s all about the timing. If taken at the right time, estrogen provides dramatic relief for the most troubling menopausal symptoms while at the same time providing a host of benefits, including:

— Extended protection from heart attacks and heart failure

— Reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of cognitive

decline

— Reduced risk of osteoporosis

— Beneficial cosmetic effects on the structure and resiliency of the skin

— Relief of sexual problems such as vaginal dryness and painful intercourse

— Relief from troubling and sometimes disabling hot flashes

— Improved quality of sleep

—Stabilized mood, particularly in women who have a known mental health diagnosis

— Lowered risk of type 2 diabetes

— Support for bladder tissue and lower risk of recurring urinary

tract infections

Taken during a woman’s estrogen window, estrogen accomplishes all these astonishing feats with minimal increased health risks. How long her estrogen window stays open depends on two things: which estrogen-containing medicine is used and which symptom or condition is being targeted, which I explain throughout The Estrogen Fix.

If the same woman takes the same drug after her estrogen window has closed, there may be an increased risk of serious side effects. Her odds for developing cardiovascular disease, blood clots, cancer, and cognitive decline become higher. But remember: It’s not the estrogen that is bad; it’s the Provera combined with the estrogen and when it is taken during a woman’s life, or the timing, that are bad.

Too many women believe they have to struggle through this phase of life without assistance, and somehow if they do that and forgo estrogen, they will come out on the other side without any consequences. Others think that if they take estrogen and get almost immediate symptom relief, they will be diagnosed with breast cancer or heart disease a few years down the road. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Estrogen Fix will help you “figure it out” so you won’t have to “tough it out.”

It’s ironic that the treatment women have avoided because they fear increased odds of developing a dreaded disease is in fact the very treatment that can offer greatly expanded protection against developing those same potentially deadly conditions after menopause. The key to using estrogen successfully is to take the right estrogen and to take it at the right time for at least 5 to 7 years following the onset of menopause.

If you’re like my patients, you probably have a lot of questions: Is estrogen really as safe as you say? Do I take pills, use a cream, or apply a patch? What’s the right dosage for me? When should I start? How do I know when to stop? Which estrogen should I take? Which progestogen should I take? All your questions will be answered in The Estrogen Fix, so you’ll be prepared to have an informed conversation with your physician or health-care provider.

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THE GIFT OF OUR TRUE NATURE

This is one of my favorite passages in “A Brightly Guided Life” by Ingrid Honkala.

— A few days later, Santiago met me at the house where we held Transcendental Meditation meetings every week. By this time, he had been practicing TM for six months. That night about thirty people were all gathered together in a big room. We sat on the floor with the lights off, in total silence. 

Suddenly I did something that seemed opposed to everything I had learned about meditation: I started to giggle. No matter how hard I tried to stop, I just felt this unstoppable laugh emerging from within. Then one of my cousins who was sitting next to me started to laugh as well. We were followed by another and another, until the whole room was invaded by one loud, persistent and powerful roar of laughter. It became so contagious that even some people outside the room joined in. This was the longest and most intense laughter of my life, seeming to go on forever. According to someone waiting outside, it lasted for about twenty minutes.

Gradually we stopped laughing until the room became completely quiet, then stayed in meditation for another ten minutes. When the mediation ended, as we walked out of the room everybody wondered what had happened. People tried to find reasons but nobody could discover one. The common answer was that it had been the most amazing, liberating and unifying experience of our lives. That night, for no reason, we all simply laughed. This was the first time that I had experienced such unity with so many people at the same time, without any effort or expectation whatsoever. After a minute of reflection, I realized: This is what I meant to say the other day to Santiago. This is what I would call a moment without ego, without any sense of boundaries, or any separation or judgment; just a moment of unity, a moment of joy and love.

Feeling grateful, I thanked the Beings of Light, then went to share my thoughts with my friend.

“Santiago, do you realize that it doesn’t matter how different all of us are on the outside, because tonight we laughed as equals?”

“Wow! It was amazing. It felt like we were one big chorus,” he said.

“Yes, we actually were!” I continued. “Do you also realize that this was a moment in which we were completely free from any judgment?”

“You’re right. I could have never laughed like that if I thought I was being judged. This was definitely a gift.”

“This is what I meant to say the other day at the cafeteria. That is what I would consider an egoless moment. Only by forgetting who we are and becoming free from judgment, can we let our True Nature be.”

“What is our True Nature?” he asked. At that moment, I remembered that the answer to that question had come to me about a year before, after I saw a movie on television about a person with amnesia. Feeling puzzled, I had asked the Beings of Light, “What would happen if I completely lost the memory of me, including my name? What would I become? Who would I be then? What would be left of me?”

“Your True Nature,” they answered. I told Santiago about the movie and asked him the same questions. Looking baffled he answered, “I don’t know.”

“Think of yourself as an onion,” I said. “An onion is made up of many layers, which is like the personality we have created after all these years of gathering experiences. The core of the onion is our beginning, a little baby who is pure and innocent. It is your True Nature, totally naked and completely free from any conditions. But to get back to the heart of the onion, we need to first peel off all these outer layers. In total amnesia, you might go all the way to the beginning of the Self by accident. But what if you could consciously peel off all the layers? Instead of finding only an innocent and pure baby, you will find that you are also an all-knowing and wise baby.”

“But, how do we do that?” he asked.

“You’ve already started,” I answered.

“Quieting your mind through meditation is the beginning. The quieter you become, the more aware you will be of your ego. That awareness will open the path for you to connect with your True Nature and to learn the difference between It and the ego.”

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HAPPINESS THAT EXISTS BEYOND THOUGHTS AND IDEAS

This is one of my favorite passages in “Unflappable” by Ragini Michaels.

— Anytime you navigate two levels of reality (in our case, human and divine) at the same time, it is magic. Like any good magic, your mind can't fathom how it's done. But when the rabbit pops out of the hat, you're amazed by it anyway.

Your mind may get a little confused by this notion, but give it a try anyway. This different brand of happiness knows no opposite because it embraces all opposites equally—happiness and sadness, pleasure and pain, gain and loss, connection and separation, birth, and death. It's bigger than any set of polarities, and it accepts everything as part of the harmony of all things.

This happiness exists in the realm beyond thoughts and ideas; it lives outside the territory of the mind—beyond the world of conceptual thought. And this place is, literally, just a blink away from your mind's eye.

You already know this place in times of quiet when you're just being (like when you're sunbathing, lying on the massage table, or soaking in the tub) or during noisy, fast, and dangerous times when you must be present for your safety (like when you're white-water rafting, skiing, surfing a big wave, or mountain climbing). In these scenarios, your mind naturally becomes quiet—and that different brand of happiness arises. This is why we like these kinds of activities. When the mind is still—even for just a tiny bit of time—you connect directly with your life experience (that's you minus your story).

Have you ever stood at the ocean's edge in the middle of a winter storm, mesmerized by its power and beauty? Have you sensed a majestic harmony, even though waves are crashing all around, and huge piles of heavy driftwood are shifting, rearranging the contour of the shore? Just being with the power of nature feels good, and a sense of happiness and peace arises.

This happiness is not the mind's idea of happiness—getting what you want and not getting what you don't want. Instead, it's just being with what is unfolding. Deepak Chopra once said that happiness arises when you don't resist the continual flow of events. What you may not realize is that includes embracing your resistance to not resisting. It's such an odd thing to do ... until you do it.

Mystics perceive each moment of life for just what it is—pleasurable, painful, or neutral. This perspective can be yours when you know how to live with paradox and how to navigate opposites, which simply means using your mystic's eye.

Your imagination is the key to suspending your disbelief and finding the Land of Unresolvable Dilemma. Without it, you may never find the inner peace that knows no disturbance and the happiness that knows no opposite.

If your skeptic has appeared, as mine always does, you may feel cynical. Hang in there. When you give your imagination an inch, it will happily take you a mile. Follow your inner knowing that there is a different brand of happiness—and imagine you're hot on its trail.

Imagination helps your brain move out of old patterns into this new view of your world, preparing you for travel through the Six-Step Process…

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THE EXPLORATION OF YOUR HUMAN NATURE AND DIVINE POTENTIAL

This is one of my favorite passages in “Who You Are Meant To Be” by Rosemary Hurwitz.

  

— The Enneagram can teach you about both your human nature and divine potential. You have read a short story of each of the nine universal types; you have learned about the strengths and challenges, passions and blind spots, Wellness Maps and wing styles, instinctual centers and ways to practice balance. Remember that these mainstays are about general patterns of thinking and behaving. There may be as many nuances within each of the nine universal personality types as there are people in the world. Discovering your unique nuances is your wonderful work within the Enneagram. Your inner work is a great investment in you, and your relationships whatever combination of personal growth tools you use.

You now know that having an understanding of your personality type and your own potential is the start of the inner work of personal transformation. After all, actually realizing who you are meant to be takes more than the knowing.

Your deepened awareness and acceptance of that newfound awareness may provide a new pathway within you. Your practice of new behaviors that free you and get you out of your own way will provide you with profound shifts.

The effects you feel will be so worth any work you have done to realize your growth. Be patient with yourself.  Sometimes after an aha insight, you change behavior immediately. More often, other times it takes baby steps to see progress within yourself.

The good news is that the Enneagram gives you practical ways to gain consciousness and make a resourceful choice. You will come from your own internal safety not your own often self-created stress. One way that cannot be emphasized enough is through breathwork. Breathing into the emotional passion that gets triggered can help to deepen your awareness of it.

Science has now shown us that with repeated practice, we can break out of our habitual patterns and reactions more often.

Dr. Donald Hebb of McGill University has investigated the neural circuits in the brain, the connections that fire or light up when we are thinking certain thoughts or are engaged in certain behaviors. His conclusion? “What fires together wires together.”

In other words, when your neural circuits fire together in a certain way repeatedly, they tend to do more of the same. In Enneagram terms, your habitual patterns make deep grooves within your personality. When you change the pattern through conscious choice, instead of continually going on autopilot, you disrupt the pattern, and the grooves, lose their edge and soften.

Liz Tobin, Family Health Practitioner, taught it to me this way:

“Connect to your detached observer within and notice how your feelings, perceptions and interactions change. The next time you are faced with a situation that pushes your buttons, stop and pause. Say to yourself, “Here is an opportunity for me to change this way of mine. I have the power to change my response. I do not have to react in the same old way.”

People can change and grow. It takes effort but like anything that gets practiced it gets easier with time.

Remember Dr. David Daniel’s 4 As related to the Enneagram: Awareness, Acceptance, Action, and Adherence. 

Awareness of yourself is your type’s wisdom that resonates within you  Acceptance of your whole self entails both sun and shadow sides  Action: making changes in your patterns by using this newfound awareness to make choices that are balanced for your greater well-being.  Adherence or practice: repeatedly using your Wellness Map and Enneagram wisdom.  Becoming aware is the first step, accepting your new awareness and using strategies to create new behavior, is action. Repeating these new behaviors is adherence or practice.

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MAKE JOY YOUR GUIDE

This is one of my favorite passages in “The Identity Code” by Larry Ackerman.

 

— Knowing your gift, and finding ways to give it, brings a palpable sense of peace. Your search is finally over, along with the anxiety it creates. The emptiness that has eaten at your gut subsides. Authenticity, and the strength it produces, is yours: nothing about you is made up. Nothing is fabricated to please others. In fact, finding your gift, and weaving it into your life, affirms who you are – that you are here, alive and have a meaningful role to play in this world. Answering the question, What is my gift?, holds out the promise of achieving both power and grace. Born of your identity, “power” isn’t

about controlling others. It is about taking life into your own hands; it is power for the good. It is constructive rather than destructive. Such power benefits all people who are part of its expression, because it is based on making a genuine and lasting contribution. Knowing your gift gives you the power to make a difference. It also bestows upon you the grace with which to make it.

— Most people intent on finding their gift look for clues in their work, past and present, their family backgrounds, their hobbies and interests. As sensible as this may seem, none of these factors will lead you to the answer. None gets to the heart of your remarkable capacity to create value – that distinctive contribution you are capable of making in the world. The way to find your gift is by following the signs of joy – those aspects of life to which you are instinctively drawn and that stir your soul. Joy comes before happiness. In unraveling your identity code, understanding the distinction between these two ideas is important. The definition I assigned to happiness, early in the book, was that you are at peace with yourself, among others in the world. To arrive at this place, you need to make joy your guide.

In the words of Joseph Campbell, philosopher and mythologist, you must follow your bliss. At its core, joy slices through the defenses, concerns and rationalizations we use to keep ourselves balanced against the pressures of our daily lives. It leads us directly to a place of elation we have probably long forgotten exists within us. When I refer to elation, I am referring to feelings that take you over completely. For instance, that feeling of sudden heat that unexpectedly wells up in, and washes over, your body. Or, the shudders that run up and down your spine, releasing tension in their wake. That elation comes from an unqualified love of something. It can be the creative juices inside you that run free when you are cooking up a storm. It can be the feelings of unbridled awe you connect with as you gallop across open fields, deep in the heart of the mountains of Wyoming. Or, perhaps, it is the freedom you feel, deep in your bones, as your voice soars in the midst of singing a passage from your favorite opera.

Joy comes before happiness.

Whatever it may be, what brings you joy carries you naturally to a state of near-ecstasy, where the tensions of the day disappear and you are one with yourself – you are at peace with who you are, among others in the world. The only thing that matters, then, is to find that “something.”

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NOTICE THE SPACE BETWEEN THE BREATH

This is one of my favorite passages in “Sarah's Story: Life after IVF” by Danielle Aitken.

 

— ‘The Buddha taught many different types of meditation, let us begin with one. Now please be comfortable, and we will begin.’

Banyu squats down beside me.

‘Bring your attention into the present and you may like to stare at the Buddha statue right there.’ He gestures to the front of the room. ‘Really notice it now, Miss Sarah, the details, colors, notice your thoughts arising ... let them come ... let them go ... without judgement.’

I look at the statue for a few minutes, and it is true that I do see things that previously went unobserved.

‘Now close your eyes.’ He pauses for maybe a minute. ‘Now be fully aware of your body in this space, in this room. Release tensions from the body.’

He leads and directs my attention throughout my entire body and instructs me to be relaxed yet alert all at the same time.

‘Excellent, Miss Sarah, now think, what is it you want to achieve from your meditation today, do you want to tame the monkey mind? Bring your awareness to your breath. Meditation is an alert state of focused attention, the opposite to sluggishness. Let your attention explore the breath as though you have never really noticed it before. Notice your breath in ... notice as you breathe out.’

Silent pause.
‘Notice the space between the breath.’
Silence.
‘Notice where the air travels.’
Silence.
‘Notice the temperature of the air.’
Silence.
‘Notice how the breath out relaxes you more  deeply.’ Silence.

‘Notice the movement in your body as you breathe.’ Silence.
‘Now we will count the breath. Breathe in ... one.

Breathe out. Breathe in ... two. Breathe out. Breathe in ... three. Breathe out. Breathe in ... four. Breathe out.’

Banyu continued to direct me until we reached ten breaths and then he instructed me to go back to one and begin again solo.

‘Thoughts will come, Miss Sarah. You must take charge. When you are aware of thoughts you can return your attention to the breath.’

As I sat, to my astonishment I was enjoying the feeling of peace and tranquility flowing through me. Wow, Banyu, you’re a star. Oops, monkey mind. Back to the breath. I smiled.

For the next weeks Banyu instructed me on all things meditation and I was a good student. Meditation became my practice morning and night. As the weeks passed into months I found that I was actually looking forward to my meditations. There was something quite different about the feeling I experienced when I was meditating that was hard to define.

I slowly began to tame my monkey mind and as I did, I noticed more and more a kind of respite or time out from the constant repetitive and destructive thoughts that had plagued me for years. The sense of calm I found during my meditation seemed in some way to flow on through my non-meditation hours.

As I developed a sense of calm, I was also learning how to sort and process thoughts that were not helpful. I was even worrying less about what the future had in store for me as the previously ever-present feeling of anxiety seemed to almost miraculously dissipate in direct correlation to the amount of time I spent in meditation. My heavy sense of grief, however, was not so obliging, but even this seemed to dissipate during my sessions as I directed my attention away from these thoughts in those moments.

I discovered many interesting and unexpected things over the next two months of meditating twice and sometimes more every day. It seemed that my whole body was enjoying the process of meditation as my persistent aches and pains that I had endured for many years seemed to almost disappear. I had to admit life felt better in many ways. Perhaps, these monks were on to something? I discussed with Banyu the surprising added benefits I was noticing from my meditation practice and he again gave me his now familiar cheeky grin accompanied by a slight nod of his head. His look resembled the smile of a proud parent when their child takes their first step.

‘Yes, Miss Sarah, it is true, the body desires to be at peace. You are now becoming aware of how your unhappy thoughts create an unhappy body, not surprising then, that the body functions best when the mind is at peace. Your meditation will benefit your body in many ways. When the mind is still the heart is happy. When the heart is happy it grows in loving kindness. When the mind is still what else has the body to do but function and heal.’

Again, he gives me a knowing smile as though he has waited for me to finally understand.

‘Meditation can relieve your pain better than any medications. The mind and the body are not separate, Miss Sarah, when the mind is not at peace the body is not at peace, but when the mind is calm the body returns to the business of functioning perfectly and this you are beginning to observe. A lesson well learned, Miss Sarah.’

Well whatever the reason, all I knew was that I was physically feeling better than I had in years, so I kept an open mind and continued to learn what I could. During these weeks of meditating and perfectly timed impromptu lessons from Banyu, I continued to venture up to the hill when I could. Lama Ngawan would be there on some days but not as often as before. He seemed happy to leave me in the care of Banyu during this time and so I happily settled into my new kind of normal.

I enjoyed the occasions Lama did make it to the hill. I was now beginning to understand just what a privilege it was to spend this private time with him and so I really began to be very present whilst in his company. Something that Banyu had taught me. My focus of attention was seemingly much improved with my ongoing meditation, my monkey mind, was on the way to being tamed. I wasn’t there yet but I was finding my ability to really be in the conversation rather than be elsewhere, was a great asset to my communications.

It was on one such occasion while I was deep in contemplation that Lama spoke to me the words I had been dreading to hear.

‘Sarah, your time here is nearing its end.’

I felt an instant surge of denial masquerading as anxiety in the pit of my stomach that felt somewhat like a physical blow that took my breath away. I instinctively opened my mouth to disagree, but quickly closed it again. Part of me knew that this was true, but there was another part of me that did not want to leave. The part that was afraid to leave, afraid of the unknown. The part that still had no idea of exactly what there was for me back home. The very same part that didn’t even know where home was anymore.

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IMAGINE THE MOST AMAZING VISION OF YOURSELF

This is one of my favorite passages in “Conversations with Grace” by Julianne Haycox.

 

— I was ready to remove what had corroded in me and restore my life with the peace and love that I deserved. I grounded myself in the bubble of stillness. I stood in the forgiveness and warmth of the morning sun, in the graceful afternoon breeze and before a luminous moon, talking to myself and to God. I was grateful for this magnificent peace. This simple path became my saving grace, my renewed state of mind, my Kingdom Come! Only I had the power to unlock the healing process. There was something worth having beyond this pain. I could almost touch it.

I soon discovered that in serenity, gifts abound. On a quiet day while gardening, a question dropped into my placid mind like a drop of water on a still lake: “What would your angel whisper in your ear?” I quickly went indoors, found a pen and paper, and wrote down these words in a matter of moments.

You are good enough.
Look for the light in the corners.
I wish you peace.
Believe that you deserve it.
Come with love and harmony and ask the same of others. Reach deep inside and listen.
Cultivate and nurture your ability to listen,
Share a glance, add a smile.
Walk with an open heart full of light and love. Reach deep inside yourself.
Welcome the past—understand it—let it go.
Get it out of your way.
Don’t look back.
Pray.
Be a lovely friend.
Imagine the most amazing vision of yourself.
Bring your vision to life.
Love who you are.
I will be here every step of the way.

When I finished writing these ethereally delivered words, I read them over and over again. Every word and every meaning found a safe place in my soul. This angel of mine was truly with me, within me, and around me. My heartfelt full with light and love. I felt supported and guided.

Because of this experience, my awareness was roused. The door to my consciousness cracked open even further—its flame burned

steady in my mind. I was just thoughts away from changing my life. My path was clear, and I stood still upon it, poised and ready for the gentle wisdom to find its way to me. I moved forward manifesting and emanating the love and grace that was bestowed upon me. In my awareness, I came back to my true self. I saw the heartache for what it honestly was and I embraced the lessons.

There are surface reasons that caused this friendship to end, but I choose to focus on the deeper wisdom. From each season of our lives comes growth, just as in the natural world. Friendships and other relationships sometimes shift. In the realignment, these relationships looked and felt very different. I began to love these friends from a distance. I wanted to start the purification process and give these relationships the dignity they deserved. After all, they were a huge part of my life for more than twenty of my (then) fifty-six years. I set the bad memories free.

Moving forward with my family, I decided to occupy a different space, other than the one I had unconsciously settled into for so many years. The space had to be sacred; I had to be stronger than I was. And in this strength and peace, I knew I would emerge more composed and resolute.

I would respect the differences in our journeys. I would respect the difference of our places in time. I felt a welcoming space for new friends. I felt love for the friends that I moved on from, and was able to love them for everything that they taught me. I saw that there were so many redeeming qualities in each of these friends, and we had made so many joyous memories. I felt the beginning of my life. I felt love all around me, although not in all of the usual places. My heart was now clear and open and filled with the beautiful love that had held me through the storm, and it was time for me to reciprocate by sending the love out into the world.

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THE HEALING SPIRAL

This is my favorite passage in “The Soul of Caregiving” by Edward M. Smink Ph.D

— In a culture that demands perfection in all that we do, it is difficult to reconcile that we, as caregivers, skillful and talented as we can be, don’t have all the answers and are confronted with our limitations, personal issues, and woundedness. What within us draws us to the woundedness of others? A skill we often underestimate. Another more poignant question that challenges our imagination and curiosity is: What is it within a person, whether caregiver or the one in need that draws each to labor with, endure, and come to terms with woundedness, illness, and traumatic events? A mystery not to be solved, but to be explored. This ability to enter into, to hold, to guide, and to sustain oneself or another through the mystery of being a caregiver is best described as the archetypal image of the wounded healer.

To say that love is a wounded healer is to imply, on the one hand, that caregivers bring to each situation their human capacity to care, to be empathetic, to heal, and create positive outcomes. At the same time, and almost simultaneously, caregivers can be confronted with their limitations, particular boundaries, woundedness, and vulnerabilities that life brings. Herein lies a truth about the paradox of caregiving: a wounded healer responds to one in need, and conversely, the person in need is given the opportunity to be an agent of healing for the caregiver. The very act of caregiving becomes transformational and may lead to the caregiver’s personal and professional growth. Now wait a moment, this seems to be backward, but it is not.

Our previous discussion in Chapter Five recalls the insight of William Augsburger who spoke about the unique relationship between caregiver and client. Simply put, it means that when the caregiver is sensitive to his or her own limitations and woundedness, h/she is better able to understand the woundedness of the one in need and to respond with compassion. This leads to a greater awareness, insight, a change of heart and growth. For purposes of our discussion, we are all caregivers in one way or another.

As discussed earlier, caregivers are parents who care for their children, adult children that care for their parents, spouses who care for each other, first responders, police, firefighters, emergency, medical responders, healthcare professionals, and educators to name a few. The archetype of the Wounded Healer conveys the inner reality that within the healer, the person doing the act of caregiving, is woundedness, and within the one wounded, the one seeking care from the caregiver, sleeps a healer.

There is a similarity to the Buddhist symbol of the yin and the yang which acknowledges that within darkness there is a spark of light, and within the light, there is a shadow of darkness. The caregiver’s sensitivity to the woundedness of the one in need is borne out of his or her self-knowledge and experience of woundedness. Likewise, the healer function within the one seeking care is activated by the sensitivity and compassion of the caregiver. Guggenbühl-Craig refers to this dynamic as the healer-client function or what we understand as the caregiver and the one in need. He maintains that when a person seeks a caregiver and healer, an intra-psychic or ‘inner healer’ or ‘healing factor’ is also energized.

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