FREE FROM DOUBT — FREE FROM FEAR: KNOW YOUR INNER BEING

These are some of my favorite passages in “Personal Sovereignty: A Journey To Freedom – The Temple Of Understanding” by Adrian Emery

 

— On the personal level, each and every being has a personal law which guides it from within. This is the biological plan: that inherent wisdom passed down through the ages that we inherit at birth and gives us access to the codes of life. This personal law is unique for all of us and describes who we are. To know and to follow this personal law is clarity and the path to a successful life.

We return to the notion that at our core we are not inherently bad or fatally flawed but divinely good. We have received from mother nature, from the biological plan, from the 4.6-billion-year evolutionary process, an intrinsic ability to know what is right for us. We just need to be able to tune into and listen to our divine inner nature.

Man has received from heaven a nature innately good, to guide him in all his movements. By devotion to this divine spirit within, the self attains an unsullied innocence that leads it to do ‘right’ with an instinctive sureness, with a sense of certainty, with that power of conviction that bespeaks authenticity and authority.

However, humanity no longer has the absolute instinctive certainty of ‘the wild’. We must develop our own individual ability to listen to and obey the dictates of our own inner knowing and to choose what is right for us consciously. This is the whole point of being human – this is the destination and fulfillment of the evolutionary journey.

Yet, not everything instinctive is nature in this higher sense of the word, but only that which is right and in accord with the will of heaven. Without this quality of rightness, an unreflecting, instinctive way of action brings only misfortune.

Thus, the plot thickens. We no longer have automatic access to the biological codes as in the wild or the Garden of Eden. We must exercise free will choice, yet we cannot just act instinctively and without thinking, plus, we now have the distracting forces of self-doubt and fear robbing us of inner clarity and causing confusion. The ten thousand years of the ‘fall of man’ cultural encoding and social conditioning all create confusion and bewilderment.

For it is vital to realize once again, here, that the cultural encoding mechanism tells us on a daily basis and from every quarter – from parenting to religion, from social media to mass media, that we cannot trust ourselves; that we are inherently wrong, flawed, fallible and failing and that we need the injunctions of religion, society, and civilization to ‘save’ us from our bestial natures. In other words, if we do listen to our inner selves we will be wrong. If we do act from inner impulse, we will be destructive. If we are true to ourselves, then we will be rejected by others.

Nowhere are we encouraged to believe in ourselves, to obey the dictates of our inner being, to listen to the still quiet voice of God that resides within, to have faith in our free will choice decision-making ability and to decide for and by ourselves, free from external influence and persuasion.

With the incessant noise and din of the pressure and pace of modern living and with the perpetual broadcasts of mass media and social media conformity, how can we possibly find the silence to listen to our inner beings? Added to that is the destructive pernicious influence of the negative ego deliberately trying to lead us astray. Is it any wonder clarity is such an elusive thing?

For to achieve clarity one must be still! One must silence the ‘yammering’ of the negative ego’s left brain and enter into that state of inner quietude. One must be composed, serious and reverent if one wishes to acquire that clarity of mind needed for coming to terms with the confusion of external daily reality and its innumerable impressions. One must be content and at peace with oneself. The negative ego is never at peace with itself but is always comparing.

This is why all the great mystery schools and all religious training involve some aspect of the practice of contemplation and meditation. Without the ability to concentrate one cannot focus and achieve clarity. We must be free from the din and confusion, the turmoil of outer life in order to be free to access the peace and tranquility of inner silence, bringing order out of chaos.

For it is only in this state of inner composure that we silence the dominance of the negative ego and allow the spirit to speak through the intuition. It is through this process and this process only that we can go back to a correct functioning of the healthy state of consciousness where the ego is the servant and the spirit is the master.

It is only through the discipline of concentration that we enter the meditative state whereby the lower, noisy, beta brainwaves of the rational thinking bio-computer make way for the higher, more subtle, alpha brainwaves of intuitive awareness.

It is a personal choice! And in many ways, it is our only choice: to listen to the ego with its constant demands for attention and gratification or to listen to the Tao with its call to do what is right.

 — One must take the time to get to know oneself. One must set aside time for peace and solitude with no mass media noise, no electronic screens, and no significant other present. One must befriend oneself in order to know oneself.

This is Clarity. This is how we ‘know’ what is right for us: free from doubt, free from fear, free from the influence of the negative ego, and free to follow courageously, decisively our own inner being.

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DEATH — REBIRTH — TRANSFORMATION

These are some of my favorite passages in “Love, Loss, Light: Illuminating the Path Through Grief” by Karen Trench

 

— Like you, I have made decisions that required a certain amount of courage—important decisions made at critical junctures that have steered the course of my life. Those were the times when I voluntarily walked to the cliff’s edge, looked over, and with little or no trepidation, jumped— confident of a safe landing. When I was in control of my own choices, taking that leap of faith into the unknown tended to be easier. Plus, I had a firm understanding and appreciation of the transformative powers that resided within each and every big decision I made as my life unfolded.

But I never chose to lose Charlie. That decision was made for me, as the loss of your loved one was made for you. When I did lose him, I didn’t walk fearlessly to the cliff’s edge, look down into the chasm, and leap, with the assurance that I would arrive at the bottom relatively unscathed. Quite the contrary. I arrived at the edge the same way you did: Grief dragged me kicking and screaming, and then, without warning, pushed me.

As I plunged into the abyss, I tried to bargain with God. I offered up apologies, promises, and vows for past, present, and future actions if He would but spare me the agony that I knew awaited when I crash-landed. But He turned a deaf ear and a blind eye, and allowed me to sink deeper and deeper into the pit of my sorrow.

When I hit rock bottom, it wasn’t pretty. Three months after my loss, I returned from the first of several trips to the East Coast to visit my mom and some of my dearest friends. But I was returning to an empty house, and I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear the truth that Charlie would never again be home to greet me with a hug and a kiss. I ran into my garage and sequestered myself in my car to spare our two cats the trauma of hearing me wail, and now I laid across the back seat sobbing in anger and disbelief, until I exhausted myself and my tears ran dry. As I grew quiet, I began to appreciate the profound silence and the feeling of protection and safety that my car afforded me. I curled up in a fetal position and closed my eyes. As I began to doze off, I was struck with a sudden awareness. It was this: Either I could continue to fight against my new reality and remain in a state of incredulity, anger, and disbelief; or I could take my boxing gloves off and attempt to reconcile with the truth that God would not be bartering with me or sparing me my anguish. There was no escaping my plight, and the more time I spent resisting what had happened to me, the more time I would spend suffering. My choice was clear. I called a truce and surrendered to God, and it was there, in the back seat of my Subaru, where my salvation began.

Once I made the choice to align myself with Him and to place my complete faith and trust in Him, Universe, my archangels, and guardian angels—as soon as I opened my arms and my heart wide enough to “allow” them to help me with the hard work of grieving—amazing things began to happen. God began leading me to the exact people I needed to meet or see. He led me to the books I needed to read, to the words I needed to hear and write, and to the life lessons I needed to learn. It all moved me further down my path of grief and loss and aided me exponentially in my healing. The process of surrendering became inextricably linked to my transformation. I realized that if I was to become a butterfly, I would have to leave the caterpillar stage. I would have to completely give up my former life. And once I began to change, there would be no going back.

It’s impossible to carry the mantle of survivor without also carrying the mantle of transformation, for they are two sides of the same coin. This holds true whether we’ve endured and survived a life-threatening illness or accident or the death of a loved one. And by its very nature, being a survivor all but guarantees that we are not the same person we were before our trauma. There is no way we could be, for our survival has enhanced us—it has conferred upon us gifts and blessings: greater emotional or physical strength and fortitude, resilience, and self-confidence; a deepening of faith and self-awareness; a deeper love and compassion for self and others; and a far greater love and appreciation of life than we ever had before. To quote psychologist Susan Powers, PhD, from her book Ruthless Grieving, “Grief takes a hold of you and shakes all the “not you” from you, and what is left is so much closer to who you really are. So you shouldn’t want to be the same, and you are not, but in so many ways you have a chance to become more whole and more deeply yourself.”

Not only did Charlie’s death transform me in all the ways I outlined above, but his passing also gave me the impetus and the courage to resurrect my writing career. I take pride too in my ability to manage my home and finances, two challenges that when confronted, many widows find daunting. However, the most meaningful and profound transformation has been the deepening of my spirituality and spiritual practice. Beginning in the weeks preceding his death and continuing beyond it, I believed strongly that I was being guided by God and held in the arms of angels. Knowing that I still am and will always be guided is the greatest source of peace and comfort and the greatest blessing that has been bestowed upon me since losing Charlie. Grief transformed me into a spiritual seeker, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life discovering!

Whether we arrive at the cliff’s edge on our own terms or on God’s, the outcome is the same: transformation! Perhaps the likelihood that we’ll crash and burn is far greater when we are pushed over the edge, versus going there willingly, but we must take heart. We can learn from and be uplifted by the legend of The Phoenix, the bird who, after living five hundred years, burned itself on a funeral pyre only to rise again in a blaze of glory. We too can rise from the ashes of our pain and suffering and be completely reborn and made anew. Death. Rebirth. Transformation.

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FORGIVENESS: DO IT FOR OTHERS AND FOR YOURSELF

These are some of my favorite passages in “The Choice is Yours: 52 Choices for Happier Lives” by Barbara Dahlgren

 

— If you google the word forgiveness, you will find a myriad of studies showing that those who master the art of forgiveness live longer, healthier lives. This means that psychologists, doctors, and scientists are embracing an idea considered mostly theological in the past. According to the Mayo Clinic website, here are a few of the health benefits of forgiveness:

- Healthier relationships

- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being

- Less anxiety, stress, and hostility

- Lower blood pressure

- Fewer symptoms of depression

- Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

- Stronger immune system

- Fewer negative emotions like anger, bitterness, and resentment

So, forgiveness is a good thing. God has forgiven us, and God admonishes us to forgive others (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, Luke 17:4). However, in the words of C. S. Lewis, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea unless they have something to forgive.”10 Therefore, formulating a forgiving attitude is easier in theory than in principle. You know, easier said than done!

It might be a little easier to foster forgiveness if we know what forgiveness is not.

Forgetting

Forgiveness is not Forgetting. Forgetting can possibly come with time, but it doesn’t happen in an instant—like some sort of spiritual amnesia that kicks in when we say the magic words, “I forgive you.” Our minds just don’t work that way. Asking someone to forget child abuse or injustice is unrealistic. Dealing with it is one thing, Forgetting it is quite another.

Trusting

Forgiveness is not automatically restoring total trust. Suppose a dear friend betrays confidence but says, “I’m sorry.” You can forgive the friend for the harm he caused, but to immediately trust him again with a secret would be foolish. Trust is like a bank account people build with you. It might be wise to only give them as much as they have deposited—especially if they have misused your trust before. When they wipe the fund out, they start from scratch. Trust is built gradually and given when a person proves to be trustworthy.

Condoning

Forgiveness is not condoning what was done. It doesn’t approve of bad behavior. I remember when my daughter was in a group setting, and someone told an offensive joke. As jokes go, many times we don’t even know it will be inappropriate until the punch line. She did not reproach the individual, but neither did she laugh. The joke teller came over to her later and apologized privately. He was waiting for her to say, “That’s okay,” but she didn’t—because it wasn’t okay. What the guy did was offensive. However, she did say, “I accept your apology.” Granted, what many of us must forgive runs much deeper than an off-color joke, but the principle remains the same.

Pretending

Forgiveness is not pretending you weren’t hurt or upset. That would be denial, not forgiveness. Wearing a fake smile and pretending something didn’t happen doesn’t make it go away. “Smile though your heart is breaking” may make dandy lyrics, but it won’t keep your heart from breaking.

Preventing Accountability

Forgiveness is not preventing someone from being held accountable. One could forgive a thief who stole from him, but the thief might have to do jail time just the same. Choosing to testify against a thief in a court of law doesn’t negate forgiveness. Your testimony could prevent him from stealing from someone else. Behavior has consequences. Escaping consequences is not always in the best interests of people.

Reconciliation

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Reconciliation can grow from forgiveness, but it isn’t the immediate result. You don’t instantly say, “Okay, now we’re all friends again. Let’s be happy.”

Weakness

Forgiveness is not weakness. It doesn’t mean you let everyone walk all over you and take whatever life dishes out. You don’t have to be a martyr for the cause. You can be a forgiving person and still say no.

Restoration

Forgiveness is not restoration with full benefits to a former position. The prodigal son was indeed welcomed home by his father. They killed the fatted calf and partied ’til the other cows came home, but his inheritance was gone. He shot his wad. It could well have been a case of “we love you, dearie, but you spent your money, honey!”

Conditional

Forgiveness is not something you do just so God will forgive you.

That’s like doing the right thing for the wrong reason, such as repenting just so you won’t go to hell. God doesn’t want us to be good just so He won’t zap us. He wants us to do good from the heart. This is one of the main differences between the old and new covenant.

Earned

Forgiveness is not given only to those who apologize or earn it. Most of the people you might need to forgive may never acknowledge they’ve done you wrong. Perhaps they don’t even care. We can’t play the “if only” game. I would forgive them “if only” they would say they’re sorry or admit what they did. Sure it might make forgiveness easier, but it doesn’t give us license not to forgive if they don’t. Christ’s example teaches us this. “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Easy

Forgiveness is not easy. God has forgiven us, and we need to forgive others, but no one said it would be easy. Most worthwhile endeavors are not easy. However, God is willing to aid in this process if we ask Him for help. Fostering forgiveness becomes easier when we know what forgiveness is not—and we ask for God’s help.

So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness relinquishes us from feeling we are justified to retaliate, get even, seek revenge, or have an “eye for an eye” mentality.

Consider this. All of us at one time or another have had someone betray us, hurt us, emotionally wound us, or do us wrong. Humanly speaking, we think we have a justifiable “right” to hurt back or retaliate. When we forgive, we relinquish that “right.” We let God take care of any vengeance He thinks should take place (Romans 12:19–21). We trust God to take care of it in His way and in His time.

On the surface, forgiveness appears to be a selfless act, but it really isn’t. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves as well as others. Sometimes the person we are forgiving doesn’t even know it. Sometimes a person knows it but doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. For in relinquishing the right to retaliate, we trade caustic, self-destructive elements such as anger, resentment, and bitterness for peace. We can cross over from being a victim to being a survivor. We can get on with our lives. We can stop the past from dictating our present or future.

Forgiveness is the first step on a journey to healing. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a hard and sometimes long process but truly worth the effort. Fostering forgiveness benefits not only our physical life but our spiritual and emotional well-being as well. Forgiveness is a win-win situation. When we do it for others, we are really doing it for ourselves.

** In her book, Barbara gives us some great suggestions for practicing this choice!

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YOU ARE MEANT TO HEAL AND BE YOU!

These are some of my favorite passages in “Be You: The Journey of Self-Realization” by Chris Cirak

 

— You know you’re attached when your environment dictates how you feel. When things are working in your favor, you’re happy. When they’re not, you’re sad. When others validate you, you gain confidence. When they criticize you, you become insecure. When you’re shown affection, you feel loved. When it is withheld, you feel abandoned. As long as you’re attached to the world around you to nurture you in whatever ways you haven't nurtured yourself, your life is an endless roller coaster of ups and downs.

You can become attached to anything: people, places, pets, your job, your looks, a memory, things you own - and of course, your life. But the biggest attachment of all is to outcomes. Everything you do from your headspace is with a specific outcome in mind. In fact, you start with the outcome you desire and then work your way backward, figuring out what you need to do to get there. This is how you wind up living for the future, disconnected from the now. You no longer do things for the joy of doing them. You do them because of what you expect in return.

You might even be inclined to accept greater hardship now, so later can be better. You work overtime so you can retire early. You have children so they can take care of you when you’re old. You put off pursuing your dreams because you would rather play it safe, afraid of what tomorrow might bring. Your whole life becomes about living for outcomes, and you completely forget that at the root of them are stuck feelings you can learn to release right now.

Every outcome you're attached to reflects stuck feelings inside.

— There’s no question that some experiences are very difficult and can affect you deeply. Fears and trauma from the past can torment you and turn your life on its head. Often, all you want is to manage your condition so you can become operational again. Rarely, if at all, do you expect to be as flawless as before.

But as you learn to release stuck feelings, you realize there are no unhealable wounds, there are no permanent scars, there is no everlasting damage. There are only layers of stuck feelings that you can learn to release. The more you release, the more you experience what is underneath: your unhurt, unblemished, unimpaired, fully realized self.

Healing is the process of releasing stuck feelings.

Whenever you experience difficult feelings, it is imperative to release them before trying to understand the root cause. Mental analysis is of secondary importance. Once you’re out of reactivity and back to flowing, you’re able to see the situation as it is, take clear action, and make positive and lasting changes in your life so unhealthy situations don't occur again. But you always need to come out of reactivity first, so you can hear your inner voice.

The more you heal yourself, the more your healing capacity grows beyond yourself. It profoundly impacts everything you do and everyone around you. Your mere presence is soothing and helps others to release their stuck feelings. You find yourself taking on and releasing the pain of your lineage, of your gender, of your generation, of an entire era. That’s how powerful you are.

In the process of healing yourself, you become a healing force for the world.

Once you release stuck feelings, they are no longer part of your reality. A completely new life experience opens up. Indifference turns into inspiration. Scarcity turns into abundance. Limitations turn into beauty. Fears give way to the endless possibilities and uninhibited creativity of life. You realize you are part of it all. Healing allows life to flow because being in the flow is your natural state.

Everything comes back to being you. Instead of living for outcomes, live for the simplicity of the incoming moment. Instead of seeking love outside of yourself, find it within yourself. Instead of trying to make life happen, let it happen. Instead of figuring it all out in advance, figure yourself out as you go.

Life is an unrelenting force that never gives up on you. Everything is designed to help you realize how perfect you are. You cannot avoid it. You are meant to heal.


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RECLAIMING OUR FEMININE POWER: LETTING OUR UNIQUE LIGHTS SHINE!

Here are some of my favorite passages in “Passion To Thrive: Reclaim Your Life’s Potential, Purpose, Passion And Power” by Annika Jende

  

— No one will ever experience the world like you do, feel like you do, love the way you do. You are a unique, one-off, amazing person. Even if you showed up in a different body, it would not be the same. If you had an identical twin, it would not be the same.

Your unique set of skills, talents, gifts, insights, passions and intuitions, is irreproducible and irreplaceable. You are an exceptional and awesome gift to the world, and the world needs you to share it. Whether it’s cooking a nourishing meal for someone hungry and weary, or telling an inspirational or instructive story, or listening to a person from the heart and allowing them to discover themselves in a whole new way, or creating an amazing new artwork, or taking up the good fight, or raising children... Whatever makes your heart sing and gives your life meaning, passion and purpose so you overflow is what the world needs you to contribute.

And your unique gift may be something you haven’t given any thought to before.

If you are ready to own your power and be a force for positive change in the world, and would like a perspective on how to proceed, this book is for you. Read the words and listen to your heart. If they ring true, own them; if they don’t, ask your heart what it feels is true, and follow its promptings. Talk to other women, especially the ones that inspire you, about their perceptions and experiences. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel, and we probably don’t have time for that. Women are good at talking to each other, holding space for each other and supporting each other, so let’s make it happen.

This book offers an opening to the conversation, a window into the potential and power of women.

We are ready to reclaim our inherent feminine power. It’s time to live our lives to the fullest and let our unique lights shine!

— You don’t have to be a professional in the healing arts to be a Healer. The Healer is a woman who can hold space for someone unconditionally, who listens with her heart. She knows that, like her, the person she is sitting with is a spirit of pure love having a human being experience, whether they themselves know this or not. By seeing someone’s true nature, she reminds that person without words that they are far bigger than what they are currently going through. That they are not their story. This is important. Whether your story is one of adoration, wealth, fame and beauty, or if it is one of trauma and deprivation, and you think this is who you are: these are things you experience, that happen to you.

They are not who you are. They only define you if you allow them to. The problem with trauma is a lot of people stay stuck in it. It defines their lives from there on in. I am not saying you shouldn’t talk about it and it shouldn’t be acknowledged or processed; this is an important part of the healing. But if you have been through (as opposed to staying stuck in) a traumatic experience, you know it was an opportunity to grow and become more aware of your own strength, capacity to love and forgive, resilience and magnificence.

Once you have integrated the experience by understanding the truth offered in it (people often use the word “learnings” or “lessons”, but they are really “rememberings” or “reminders” of your own true nature), you can find gratitude in your heart, not for the experience necessarily, but for the peace, love and centeredness you find within yourself as a result. The old cliché, that a diamond doesn’t sparkle until it has been cut, holds true here, too. How can you possibly know how strong and resilient you are, if you never go to the limit?

The Healer knows all of this and by sitting in her presence, you are reminded of this truth, too.

The Healer is also aware that every human being, including herself, has the capacity to act and feel in the entire spectrum that exists. She listens without judgment because, under the same circumstances with the same set of tools, such as understanding, financial situation, emotional support, education, family and friends, and so on, she is aware she herself may have acted the same way. By holding space unconditionally like that, the “healee’s” fear has nothing to fight against, and it quietens, hopefully enough for that person to realize that ultimately, all is well.

The Healer also often tells you exactly what you need to hear at that time, whether it’s easy to hear or not. For example, when I was a third- year university student, I had just been dumped by my boyfriend. I was sharing a house with my best friend, Gitte, and while doing the dishes I was going on, yet again, about this man. Gitte told me, “You know, the universe is one big YES machine. If you keep focusing on this man and how he dumped you, this is what you will keep getting.” So I snapped out of it and got on with life.

Someone with an underdeveloped Healer lives a life of self-centeredness. This can go as far as living a life of arrogance and disregard for others, but more often is an incapacity to be empathic or view an issue from someone else’s perspective. You do not want this kind of person negotiating in a situation where a win/win outcome is required. And isn’t it always?

Famous Healers:

Amma, an Indian woman who heals by hugging... everyone.

The Shadow Healer:

The Shadow Healer is unable to accept and love themselves and others fully and unconditionally. This often leads to a life stuck in a victim consciousness, and an inability to see there is more to themselves and their lives than the dreadful thing that happened to them.

The Shadow Healer commonly manifests as someone who plays the part of the Rescuer, someone who is always trying to help others, rather than to empower them. This sets up a cycle of co-dependence. The person at the receiving the help sometimes does not require or want this help, feeling that they are being disempowered. This can cause a lot of friction in the relationship. The Rescuer needs someone in need of rescuing to feel good about themselves, because they are not processing the unpleasant emotions and beliefs they carry about themselves.

The Shadow Healer can sometimes show up as someone who tries to twist the outside world into a shape that fits into their self-perception. For example, someone who is a perpetrator of violence presenting themselves as a victim. It is likely they experienced violence growing up, and they haven’t ever experienced conflict resolved in any way other than violently. But if they don’t own that they are doing harm to others, they never break that cycle and step into a place of feeling good within themselves and living their full potential.

Healing takes courage.

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ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS WITH HIGHER VIBRATIONS & CLARITY

These are some of my favorite passages in “The Logical Law Of Attraction” by Helen Racz and Cindy Childress, Ph.D.

 

— Let’s discuss how having higher vibrations can help you achieve your mission statement’s goals. You want the outcome you prefer and are clear on. You don’t control how or when. You do control the desired feeling that you want to accomplish. You can achieve a lower vibe outcome, although if you want to be awake and play a bigger game, you want to be the positive change and not be the reprimand. If you need surgery, do you want the surgeon who’s stressed out because of people dying or the one who’s able to focus solely on the science, medicine, and skill necessary and believes in their work— even though they can’t save everyone? Want to know the difference? The physician who stays cool and focuses on saving the patient in front of them is working from a higher frequency of vibrations.

Again, Vibrational Law doesn’t care about positive or negative, good or evil, feeling happy or feeling sad. It simply gives you more of the same energy you exude. So, even if you want something that isn’t aligned with your highest self, you can still obtain it, though it’s not going to help you up-level or have joy. If you’re not sure about the highest outcome you can create, you get mixed results.

How do you know if your goal is aligned with your highest self? By staying in your own business. Do no harm to yourself and others. You’ll know when you’ve aligned to your soul work because your work fulfills you and lights you up, even without ‘fame and glory’. Examples: writing poetry for the sheer joy of it, or writing a book for the honor of sharing information, even if you don’t know whether it will be a financially profitable venture.

You’ll see signs if you’re heading away from your highest self. If you’re really off track, you won’t feel good. If you keep following the wrong direction, you will hit physical exhaustion or sickness, which will make you stop and think. Think about, “What is it I want to be doing and, why do I want that?”

Note: We’re not all here to evolve and awaken at the same time. When you start waking up your consciousness and think everyone else needs to wake up too, you’re in judgment. The world exists as it is, and when we bring our focus to our business and show up at our best standard, we do the most good.

— When I wrote my parent mission statement 22 years ago and pondered my end in mind, I wrote that I wanted my kids to have good self- esteem. So, I decided that I would never say “no” to my kids without a reason—using action to support my parenting style and accomplish the why of my mission statement.

Fast forward to today, my now 26-year-old son said to me the other day, “Mom, you know that when you would say to ask Dad, we never lied to you about him saying ‘yes.’”

I said, “Well, you probably did sometimes.”

“You only said ‘no’ to keep us safe, so that doesn’t count...”

That made me think. He was right. Any time I didn’t give him permission to do something, I would explain why. When parents don’t do that, and lay down the law, children don’t learn how to think, and parents might be letting “Mommy Ego” influence their parenting. When you’re more concerned about what others will think, or adhering to social norms and expectations, you can parent based on how you will look to others instead of what’s in the best interest of your child. “Mommy Ego” is fear that others will judge you through the actions of your child. It’s also fear that you are judging yourself as a parent on how your child is acting. Without that fearful reaction, I was able to proactively set boundaries out of love, and so my noes were received as love. How amazing!

Furthermore, in my parenting journey, whenever I felt my “Mommy Ego” was triggered and I would worry what someone would think of me as a parent instead of what my children needed first, I would ask myself “What’s my end in mind? How will I know when I’m successful?” In the end, I am holding myself accountable for how I showed up. These questions made me very clear on how I didn’t want to parent, which helped me evolve into the kind of parent I wanted to be. Many books helped me learn the skills to parent in alignment to what I desired to experience.

In your own life and pursuit in clarity, you’ll find that the deeper you go into checking your belief systems and the alignment you’re creating, the more you’re aligning to the things you want in that stream of consciousness. It’s like being in a high-speed internet connection instead of dial up, where the connection isn’t good because your clarity has static, if you have clarity at all.

When you’re in clarity, and take action on that clarity, all the organization and creativity of the universe will over-deliver the Divine Creative Good. It works in reverse too. If you’re really clear that you’re miserable, sick, and financially stressed, and act like it, you’ll get more of that, too.

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ACCEPTING OUR EXPERIENCE IN THE NOW & LOVING THE SELF

These are some of my favorite passages in “Seeds Of Awakening” by Peter Russell.

 

— The building where I used to run a meditation group was on the same street as a fire station. One could almost guarantee that sometime during the meditation a fire engine would come rushing past, sirens wailing. Not surprisingly, people would afterwards complain. "How could I meditate with that noise?"

How often have we felt something similar? There's an unspoken assumption that the mind can only become quiet if the world around is quiet. We imagine the ideal meditation setting to be somewhere far from the madding crowd—a retreat deep in a forest, a peaceful chapel, or perhaps the quiet of one's own bedroom. It is much harder for the mind to settle down in a noisy environment.

Or is it?

I suggested to the group that the next time a fire engine came blasting by they look within and explore whether the sound really was that disturbing? After the following meditation, a woman reported how the noise no longer seemed a problem. It was there, but it didn't disturb her.

The disturbance, she realized, came not from the sound itself, but from her wishing it weren't there.

This was the essence of Buddha's realization 2,500 years ago. We all experience what he called dukkha, conventionally translated as "suffering." In Pali, the language of Buddha's time, dukkha is the negation of the word sukha, meaning "at ease." So dukkha might also be translated as not-at-ease, or discontent—an experience we all can relate to.

The root meanings of these words add further insight. Sukha stems from su (good)-kha (hole), and generally referred to a good axle hole in the wheel of a cart. The wheel was a great technological boon of the time, and whether or not it ran smoothly around its axle would have been a primary concern for both comfort and efficiency. Conversely, the root of dukkha is duh (bad)-kha (hole). There is resistance to the smooth running of the wheel, leading to friction and discomfort.

Similarly with the mind. When we accept things as they are, "go with the flow," there is ease—sukha. This is our natural state of mind—content and relaxed. Dukkha, suffering, arises when we resist our experience. Our natural state of ease becomes veiled by a self-created discontent.

Thus, as numerous teachers have pointed out, we can return to a more peaceful state of mind by letting go of our attachments as to how things ought to be, and accepting our experience as it is. Not wishing for something different, not creating unnecessary discontent.

Upon hearing this, people often ask: Does this mean I should accept injustice and cruelty, the homeless sleeping on the streets, or the recalcitrant attitude of my partner? Of course not. There are numerous situations that we should not tolerate, and each of us, in our own way, will be called to do what we can to improve things.

"Accepting our experience as it is," means just that; accepting our experience in the moment. If you're feeling frustrated, angry, or indignant, accept the feeling. Don't resist it, or wish it weren't there; but let it in, become interested in how it feels.

We can also explore the feeling of resistance itself. It can be quite subtle, and not easily noticed at first. I find it useful to simply pause and ask: "Is there any sense of resistance that I am not noticing?" Then gently wait. Some resentment or aversion towards my experience may become apparent, or sometimes a faint sense of tension or contraction in my being. Then, rather than focusing on the particular experience that I'm resisting, I turn my attention to the felt sense of the resistance itself, opening to this aspect of "what is."

Rather than my experience being divided into two parts—the actual experience in the moment, and my resistance to it—the feeling of resistance is now included as part of the present moment. As I allow the resistance in, it starts to soften and dissolve. Then I can be more open to whatever it is that I was resisting. I can allow it in, and begin to accept the experience as it is.

So when you find something seeming to disturb your inner peace—whether it be a friend's behavior, some politician on TV, or a passing fire engine—pause and notice what is happening inside. See if there is any sense of resistance to your experience. If so, open up to the experience of resisting. Be curious as to what is going on and how it feels.

By not resisting the resistance, but accepting it as part of "what is", you will probably discover that you can be at ease in situations where before you would have suffered.

— Love Your Self. It's a common refrain.
One understanding of this is loving who you are — accepting yourself just as you are, warts and all; having compassion for your shortfalls, while rejoicing in your gifts.

Loving ourselves in this way is certainly valuable; it can lighten our self-judgment and self-criticism, and free us to live more authentically.

Another way in which we can love ourselves is to take that feeling of love that dwells in our hearts, the feeling we know when we love someone, and let it flow towards ourselves—not loving anything in particular about ourselves, simply experiencing love for ourselves.

And there is another, deeper quality of self, often called the "pure" or "inner" self, or simply "the Self." It is that ever- present sense of "I." This inner feeling of "I-ness" that never changes. It is the same feeling that was there yesterday, last year, and as far back as we can remember. Our thoughts, our likes and dislikes, our personality, desires, and beliefs may have changed considerably over the years, but the "I" that experiences them all has not.

It is the "I" in "I am." The "I" that is aware. The "I" that is knowing this moment right now, that knows every experience we've ever had or ever will have.

Most of the time we don't notice this quiet inner sense of being. Our attention is on what we are experiencing. But when our attention relaxes and we become aware of that which is experiencing all this, we find an inner peace and ease, a great contentment to which nothing needs be added. We have come home.

Knowing our essential being is divine. Mystics have written volumes on it. Enlightened ones have urged us to open ourselves to it, and soak in the calm and joy it brings.

To rest in the Self is so delicious we cannot help but love it.

It is what we've been longing for. It is the beloved.
You are The Beloved.

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BE A POSITIVE FORCE: LISTEN, RESPECT AND ACCEPT

These are some of my favorite passages in “Redefining Positive” by Nicole Raheja.

— Here are some ways that you can respect the way people identify themselves and the way that they feel about their identities:

1: Believe people about their own experiences. If one person tells you that other people discriminated against them, and another person says, “No, we didn’t,” believe the person who experienced the discrimination because only they know what they experienced. If someone punches you and it hurts, the fact that the person claims they didn’t hit you very hard does not minimize your pain. When someone tells you that they were hurt by an action, that pain is completely real even if the other person says that they didn’t do anything that “should” have been offensive.

2: Respect the fact that everyone does not consider every trait to be a major part of who they are. Do not just expect everyone who shares a particular identity to join clubs or activist communities relating to that identity, or discuss any issues in detail with you.

3: Only refer to a difference as a disability if the person calls it a disability themself. Be aware that some people may consider a difference to be a disability, while other people refer to the same difference as an advantage, or as a neutral trait. Accept however a person identifies.

4: Don’t try to convince someone that something is positive when they consider it a disadvantage, such as by telling someone who has a physical disability that they are lucky they don’t have to take gym class, or by telling someone with a learning disability that they are lucky to get extra time on tests. People may not feel lucky about these things themselves, so let them make that call.

5: Don’t call someone “inspirational” just for living their life, unless you know that the person likes being described this way. If someone has written a book or given motivational talks about how they have triumphed over adversity, or if they regularly talk about their story in a way that tries to be inspirational, then by all means, let the person know that they have inspired you. But if someone does not refer to themself as an inspiration, don’t try to make them into one. Referring to someone as “inspirational” for doing things that most people do makes it sound like you have lower expectations of their abilities, and can make a person feel alienated. 

6: Accept that you cannot tell everything about a person just by looking at them, and be open to learning things about people that you never would have suspected. Think of some qualities about yourself and your life experiences that people can’t guess just by looking at you – the fact that you love peanut butter and raspberry sandwiches, that you have two dogs, three cats, and a guinea pig, that your life dream is to be a rap singer. Now, imagine that when you share a piece of information about yourself, another person’s reaction is, “That can’t be true! You seem like a normal person! You’re just using that as an excuse so you’ll get special treatment!” This may sound silly, but this is actually a common reaction when someone who appears “normal” tells you that they have an issue that you were not aware of. If someone shares something personal with you, believe them. You are not doing someone a favor by saying that they don’t seem “like that” – you are denying their experience.

7: If someone tells you that they have a physical or mental illness or disability:

Don’t:

- Say, “But you seem normal!”

- Accuse the person of making it up so that they can have special treatment.

- Say that a person doesn’t “look” like they are in as much pain as they are describing. The fact that someone has not outwardly expressed their pain does not mean that it does not exist. People will not always outwardly express their pain.

- Say that they don’t have enough bad things in their life to have the issue that they have. Don’t ask questions like, “What do you have to be depressed about?”

- Minimize their struggle by saying things like “everyone gets nervous sometimes” to someone who has an anxiety disorder, or “I’m so OCD too!” to someone who actually has OCD, when you don’t.

- Act as if the person is choosing to have an illness or disorder and can choose to “snap out of it.”  

Do:

- Listen and accept what the person says.

- Validate them by saying something like, “Wow, that sounds really hard.”

- Accept that the person cannot control their illness or disability. Accept that it is not their choice.

- Ask if there is anything you can do to better accommodate them.

 - Educate yourself on your friend’s condition to better understand it.

- Ask if what they have shared with you is private before you mention it to anyone else.

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HARMONIOUS MIND PATTERNS CAN HEAL THE BODY

These are some of my favorite passages in “The New Cancer Paradigm” by Avinoam Lerner.

 

— We have learned to observe good health as a state of harmony and balance within, and illness as a state of out of balance or disharmony.

Subconscious paradigms function as the body’s blueprints for either health or illness. Subconscious paradigms are energetic designs or bodies of mental information that influence physiology and bodily functions. Every thought and emotion has its own energetic signature or vibration frequency.

The frequency of the energy wave is altered when we change the way we think and feel. Essentially, we have the ability to transform our thoughts and feelings in a way that will invalidate and cancel a previous pattern and its effect. For example, think of the word stress. Feel the power of the word stress to produce a certain kind of experience within. Now take a moment and think about the word relaxation. Allow yourself to feel its power and quality and notice the contradicting effect within, and how one sensation tends to cancel the other.

Do the same with the words panic and calm, shame and pride. Each of these “word thoughts” carry information that influences the way you feel and behave. We all create our world through observations and the resulting perceptions. These perceptions become our truths to the extent that we assign meaning to events.

Immersive Healing (IH) provides a method to override our existing Subconscious programs. This approach recognizes the Dual Mind system and heals the rift between the two minds.

As Lipton explained, DNA is not solely responsible for steering our biological ship. DNA is influenced by “information” originating in the Mind in the form of beliefs, thoughts and emotions.

Beliefs are ideas, concepts, rules and assumptions incorporated into our lives which we hold to be true. They are true to us because of repeated situations that seem to "prove" their legitimacy. Beliefs shape our thoughts, attitudes, and behavior.

The brain communicates “information” to the rest of the body using an extensive network of neurons. Neurons send messages electrochemically that cause an electrical signal, an energy surge. Everything in the universe has energy and vibrates at a certain frequency. As humans we constantly create and receive waves of energy. Conventional Medicine uses this knowledge every day. For example, a lung x-ray is a picture of the vibration energy diagrams of lung cells.

Our thoughts form the information in our energy vibration. A thought becomes a belief when you have convinced yourself that it is valid. Once programmed into the SM, it affects a big part of your life.

Illness is a reflection of a state of disharmony within. Fear is the first instinctive reaction to any form of threat. Fear can lead to avoidance and denial: it serves only to strengthen the current state of illness.

Think of the body as the delta of a river. The flowing water represents your Mind’s energy. When the water is full of nutrients, farmers can grow healthy crops. Residents in the towns along the river get fresh, clean drinking water to maintain and support their state of health. However, if the quality of the water becomes poor or contaminated, the crops die and the town’s people will be forced to search for a new supplemental source of drinking water.

The river analogy helps to understand the above statement about how the quality of the Mind’s energy will affect our body as it flows throughout. Thoughts, emotions and beliefs are forms of energy that flow through the body via the central nervous system.

We must find the source of “contamination” in the flow of energy in order to regain health and heal.

— We can “think” ourselves back into good health. We have the ability to change the Subconscious Paradigm from one of illness to one of health. To get the SM back into a harmonic state of health, we must identify, address and heal every aspect of the Subconscious Illness Paradigm that is not in harmony. We must change the beliefs and perceptions fueling the illness paradigm from negative to positive.

“The way to health is founded on the law of vibration, which is the basis of all science, and this law is brought into operation by the Mind, the ‘world within’. It is a matter of individual effort and practice. Our world of power is within. If we are wise, we shall not waste time and effort in trying to deal with effects as we find them in the ‘world without’, which is only an external, a reflection.” (Charles F. Hannel)

Immersive Healing is a method for changing disharmonious mind patterns to harmonious mind patterns. The disharmonious mind patterns created illness in the first place. By changing them from disharmonious to harmonious, we change from destructive to constructive, become courageous and allow healing to begin. Discord, disharmony, and disease give way to mental, psychological and physical health.

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HARNESSING THE POWER OF BREATH

Learning to breathe properly can transform your life. This may be an odd statement considering that we all naturally breathe in and out without thinking, but there are breathing techniques that can help you sleep better and easier, but also tackle anxiety and panic attacks. The way we breathe can also impact how well we can exercise, too. But how can we harness the power of breath so that it can make living much easier and more comfortable? Read on for the reasons why proper breathing techniques can help counter anxiety, get us a better night’s sleep, and enhance our exercise routines.

How Breathing Can Help Tackle Anxiety

Anxiety can make it difficult for us to breathe, and when we find it hard to breathe, we can become more stressed and anxious. This vicious cycle can be hard to break but learning proper breathing techniques and how to utilize our diaphragm can make battling anxiety a lot easier and more effective.

The best breathing exercises include:

—  Inhale slowly (and deeply) through your nose. Make the most out of this by ensuring your shoulders are relaxed and that you are sitting straight. While inhaling slowly and deeply, your abdomen will hopefully expand, helping your chest rise a little.

— Exhale slowly through your mouth. With the air you have inhaled, you should slowly dispel it through your mouth. Make sure you keep your mouth and jaw relaxed so that you do not tense up. Keep your lips pursed ever so slightly and keep the rhythm the same.

— Repeat. You will need to repeat this process for several minutes if you wish to make the most out of it. Remember that you may not feel the effects straight away.

Breathing exercises can be used as often as needed and help counter anxiety attacks that may be bubbling in the background. It can take time before it makes you feel better, and if the process starts to make you anxious, then stop for now and return to the techniques when you are feeling better.

How Breathing Can Help Us Sleep Better

Sleeping with our mouths closed can stop snoring and improve oral health. Troubles with breathing when sleeping can cause discomfort and a poor night’s sleep that can impact a person’s mental and physical wellbeing. One way to help get a good night’s sleep is by investing in mouth tape. Mouth tape is, quite simply, a piece of tape that you put across your mouth. It is painless and easy to apply and remove. It also helps stop snoring and can reduce fatigue that is felt throughout the day. If you haven’t heard about mouth tape before, you can have your mouth taping questions answered by SomniFix.

How Breathing Can Enhance our Exercising Sessions

Have you ever run or swam and found it difficult to breathe after a while? Perhaps your mouth becomes dry and there is a pain at the back of your throat? Learning how to breathe properly when exercising can improve your performance but also make the sport much more enjoyable. It is said that the best way to boost your sporting performance and improve your breathing technique is by inhaling and exhaling through your mouth and nose combined. This can help your breathing stay steady.

Harnessing the power of breath can improve your life. Not only can you counter anxiety and improve your sporting performance, but you can get a better night’s sleep. All this can make your life much more comfortable and enjoyable. However, be sure to learn the best techniques for you, and if you need help, speak to a professional who can offer proper tips and tricks.

Written by Joniel Suezo

7 REASONS BASEBALL IS GREAT FOR YOUR BODY AND MIND

It has long been known that physical activity is not only good for your body’s health, but for your mental health too. While we all know how important it is to exercise regularly, many of us struggle to find the time or motivation to do so, or wrongly believe that we need to pay for a gym membership in order to stay fit. If you are looking for alternative ways to exercise, here are some reasons why you should consider playing baseball to keep healthy.

1— It is a Social Sport

Compared to going for a run or working out at the gym, baseball is a social activity. Playing a team sport fosters a sense of belonging, something which is important for mental and emotional health, and playing baseball is fun, releasing endorphins and making you happy. Being part of a team and playing baseball regularly also gives you a reason to exercise, as well as support, meaning you are more likely to keep it up.

This is not to say that baseball cannot be practiced alone. There are many products on the market which enable you to practice and perfect your baseball skills. First Pitch is a well respected manufacturer of such items, including pitching machines to help your batting.

2— It Improves Cardiovascular Fitness

The bursts of running associated with playing baseball contribute to cardiovascular health by increasing your heart rate. Batters and outfielders in particular will regularly have to run, which not only keeps your heart healthy by making it work harder, but also increases lung capacity to keep your body provided with enough oxygen to sustain it.

3— It Builds Strength

Baseball provides a good whole-body workout, but is especially good for building strength in the arms, chest and shoulders through throwing and catching, and in the legs through running, and even squatting when playing in the position of catcher.

4— It Helps to Maintain a Healthy Weight

On average, at least 350 calories are burned an hour when playing baseball, although this can vary depending on how much you weigh, and how active you are during the game. Maintaining a healthy weight is important, as many health conditions are associated with being overweight, and it is also easier to stay fit when we are within an optimal weight range.

5— It Benefits Mental Health

Playing baseball is good for your mental health, not only because of the positives associated with physical exercise and team sports, but also because it is a powerful stress relief tool. It provides a healthy outlet for stress, takes your mind off worries, helps focus, and having to make split second decisions while playing keeps your mind sharp.

6— It Improves Coordination

Having good coordination is important to keep your body working optimally, especially as you age. Good coordination, as well as core strength, keeps your body working well, and reduces the risk of accidents. Throwing, catching, and hitting a baseball are great ways of improving hand-eye coordination.

7— It Gets You Outside

Generally, baseball is an outdoor sport, which is another benefit of the game. Being outdoors has multiple benefits, both physical and mental. Exposure to sunlight increases your intake of vitamin D, which is difficult to get from other sources. Fresh air is good for your lungs and immune system, and is known to reduce stress and improve mental cognition.

Team sports such as baseball are a fantastic way to encourage children to keep fit, as it fosters positive feelings – being more about having fun than specifically exercising. Baseball is also something that anyone can get involved in; even if they are not taking part themselves, watching baseball games can be a great way to socialize.

Written by Joniel Suezo

FINDING STRENGTH YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD

Here are some of my favorite passages in “Rise Above Disruption” by Khaled Khorshid

 

— I cried about my situation – how things changed for the worse. I just grieved over life and everything that I had. My tears and sadness showed how much I missed my old reality, even though I willingly took some of the decisions, such as ending my relationship.

What I missed were the symbols of my success and hard work! I missed my old house, even though I willingly sold it to pay for my kids’ education. My son and daughter are my worlds, and I would do anything for them. My whole existence since my children came into my life has revolved around ensuring that they have the best of everything. I have tried to make sure they have the best opportunities in life, materially, educationally, and, most of all, emotionally. Life has taught me that crying and grief are good emotions. I did not want to accept all that had happened at the time. Weeping out your sorrows is the first step in accepting the situation. It is why grieving made a positive contribution to my journey of recovery.

Being sad is a strength, as you require courage to shed tears. It’s not how we are conditioned to think, though, is it? Typically, we believe that we must be able to control our emotions, and crying is a sign of loss of that control. It most certainly is not! Nothing can be more valuable than the truth itself.

My crying was solitary. My experience of crying, up until that point, was watching others cry. It was infrequent and only occurred for a few minutes. My crying was on a whole new level to anything I had witnessed any other person do in real life or a movie. I was almost inconsolable. Not only was I grieving for all that I had lost, but I was also crying over my stupidity of not appreciating what I had owned. On reflection, appreciating material things that I had owned in the past was quite a folly.

At the end of the day, materialistic entities can never console one’s soul. Material possessions are not that important. We all know that, but sometimes, we need to have a reality check to stop prioritizing and wanting materialistic possessions so much.

What is important is the strength of our character. What matters is if we can find reasons to laugh and understand that we have a purpose. It’s the people we love that make our world beautiful. They are the people who matter to us and whom we matter to. It is essential to have a voice that is heard, but it is also vital to learn to listen.

It would have been beyond embarrassment had I cried in front of anyone else. Whenever you see anyone cry in real life, they are always apologizing for showing their emotions. You hear them make comments, such as “I’m so sorry to do this in front of you” and “I’m so sorry you had to see that.” The responses in return are often something like “it’s okay,” “don’t worry about it,” and “It’s not a problem.”

In reality, we feel uncomfortable because we feel useless, as we are unable to stop the person from crying. We want the crying to go away somehow. Crying is considered an act of shame in public. It is not as it is, in fact, a logical recognition of what is happening in a person's life. I never thought that I would think this way, but there is a lot that life teaches us. Crying is therapeutic. It is almost like a cleansing of emotions and negative thoughts. I was surprised that I felt better after crying, and after some time, it became less frequent. My resilience started supporting me without me even realizing it.

I had lost all that I had; my company, work, wife, house, and health. They were times when I felt absolutely worthless and helpless. It was what created room for self-realization. I actually did start to find out who I truly am. I did not realize that deep inside my soul, there was gratitude for being alive, resilience to accept all that happened, acceptance for what God has put me through, and relief for having nothing to worry about.

Yes, strangely enough, I felt relief. I found myself thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen? Death? So be it. If I die, I’ll be relieved from this pain, and if I continue to live, life cannot get any worse than it is. Let’s be grateful!” Even though I gave myself this pep talk, I kept drifting from moments of despair to this positive approach about what my fate could be.

My despair thoughts were, “What? Be grateful? Look at yourself; you’re miserable, you lost everything, you have cancer, you are alone, you have nothing!" It was a constant battle of negative and positive thoughts – a battle that did not seem to end. It was draining my limited energy levels, but I couldn't stop myself. The cancer was incredibly, extremely demanding, as it exhausted me physically and emotionally.

My friends and family were quite supportive when I was fighting cancer. They rallied around me, giving me so much unexpected support and overwhelmed me with love and motivation to get through this difficult time. Then, as time went by, their support waned. Not because they didn’t care, but because that’s how life is – happening. Cancer, on the other hand, is not like a common cold. It sticks around for a long time!

Cancer treatments are time-consuming, and there is no straight line of progress. It can’t be managed like a project at work, tamed like a pet, or nurtured like a child. Medics are still learning about the intricacies of all the different types of cancer and the nuances and measures to cure this awful health condition. People have their own lives to live. I suppose that seeing someone not improving might be disheartening or uncomfortable for most people who are around cancer patients. It’s a bit like when someone suffers the bereavement of a close family member or friend. People just do not know what to say. Natural human emotion is that if something is wrong or someone is in trouble, we put all hands to the pump to fix the problem.

For most of us, the problem is that the task of fixing the death of someone and curing someone of a serious health condition such as cancer is outside of our skillset. So, it makes people stay away. Gradually, the calls become less frequent. Then, you don’t get invited out to parties and celebrations. It’s so uncomfortable for most people to cope with that. They do nothing rather than doing something wrong, which is more painful. Honestly, it is perfectly understandable.

Let me tell you, you will find a strength that you never knew you had. Trust that strength and trust in your ability to remain strong. You are not weak, and you need to tell yourself that over and over again. No matter what has happened to you in your life up until this point, you always have the right to smile.

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WHAT DO YOU TRULY WANT?

These are some of my favorite passages in “I Attract What I Am” by Melissa Dawn.

 

— I decided to use my life purpose statement as my tagline: “Create an orgasmically joyful life & business.” Now this was a brave statement. I ran the tagline by some friends and was told it was too risky. It was too out there. They told me people would think I was a sex coach. Then I ran it by some of my clients and was told that if they had seen that tagline before hiring me, they probably would have thought twice. Only two of my fellow coaching colleagues and my own coach supported my tagline. Out of about 50 people polled, all advised me against it. I had been a business and marketing professional for the past 20 years. Would this diminish my credibility in other people’s eyes? Would they find me crazy or unprofessional? Also... what would my Dad think? Almost everyone polled was ardently against the tagline and all the while, my gut was saying “This is right for you Melissa. It’s brave, just like you. It’s honest, just like you. It’s playful and fun… just like you!

It was really a struggle for me. In my core, I believed the tagline was a true representation of who I am and the message I wanted to convey. After all, who truly doesn’t want to have an  orgasmically  joyful  life  and business?

I realized that it is one thing is to know your values and another thing entirely to put those values out there in the professional sphere – to actually be a living expression of your values in all aspects of your life. After all, if I feel I need to hide who I really am, how can I coach others to live their lives being true to who they are? So “Create an Orgasmically Joyful Life & Business” would be the official tagline. And as my coach said, if it didn’t work out, we could always change it. I worked hard on creating the website. I had to ask some hard questions. What type of coach did I want to be? What type of clients did I want to work with? What type of clients fueled me? Notice I was not asking what the market was looking for. I was starting my marketing with an inside analysis.

Question 1: What type of work brings out the best in me? ​

For me, the answer was simple; working with people that want to feel passionate about their life and create a life that is a true reflection of them, not what others want for them. Guiding clients on how to be the CEO of their life, how to discover their gifts and bring them forward into both their personal and professional life. It’s something I know intimately and have worked hard on myself to learn to do. I’m living that dream and I know how to help people do the same for themselves.

Question 2: What type of clients fuel me?

The people who we work with have a huge influence on the enjoyment of our work. Loving your clients is just as important as loving the work you do with them. To me, the type of clients that fuel me are people who truly want to move forward – clients who are into personal growth. Clients who want to create heart-based lives and businesses, businesses they love to work at all day long even if they don’t get paid (even though they also want to make good money, of course). I believe everything is interconnected:  If something isn’t working in your personal life, it will affect your business (and vice versa). I truly believe in taking a holistic approach and I work best with clients who are on the same page. So there it was. I did some deep internal analysis and had my answers and my content. I was ready to officially launch my website.

COACHING TIP: In everything you do, always start with an internal analysis; always start with you. Ask yourself what you truly want and what you want to create based on what fuels you, your values and your life purpose.

 

P.S.: I LOVE the Coaching Tips in this book!!!

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PROS & CONS OF LIFE COACH AND MENTOR

A life coach is one of those people that help you when you are stuck in a position, either in your personal or professional life. There are certain things that you may not be able to discuss with your loved ones. This is when discussing these issues with a life coach and mentor seems like a better option.

A life coach comes across as a confident, positive, and strong individual who can help you get through a major or minor life crisis, irrespective of how difficult it may seem to you. While they may seem like someone who stands on a podium and talks to a huge crowd repeating the same thing over and over again, the truth is a strong life coach and mentor can positively impact your life and bring out the best in you.

Being a life coach isn't easy and there are various advantages and disadvantages to being one. In case you're wondering what pros and cons a life coach has then let’s take a look at a few of them.

Pros

— Whether it is a one-on-one session or a group seminar, a life coach always manages to make you feel better than you were feeling before you stepped into the seminar.

— They bring about a change in an individual's life and help them live it to its full potential.

— They help people explore their inner talent and come out of the shell that they were otherwise living in.

— They identify when a person is depressed or going through anxiety and help them get treated so that they can live a fuller and healthier life.

— They are a joy to communicate with because they can instantly uplift your mood and help you deal with your problems with more confidence and ease.

Cons

— The life of a life coach is not always all glam. Certain aspects are a little more difficult to deal with and could be considered as disadvantages.

— A life coach is always expected to be in a good mood, irrespective of what's going on in their life. This is not always an easy feat.

— They need to always be prepared to answer questions, irrespective of how complicated they are. Certain people go through a lot and it may be a first for a life coach however they still have to be spontaneous with their answers. A good life coach is someone who is always able to come up with an answer and ease the person sitting across from them.

— A life coach is expected to be confident and always full of energy. This can get difficult at times, especially since they have to work several hours a day.

A good life coach and mentor knows how to balance their work and personal life. They manage to only take up as much as they can handle. This helps them to deliver quality advice and help people turn their life around.

 

Written by: Silvia Quintella

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO EXTRAORDINARY THINGS!

Here are some of my favorite passages in “WHY is Your Reason for BEING” by KJ Lavan

 

— There was a period in my life when I seemed to be living from day-to-day. This was in spite of having quite a bit going for me. I was salutatorian of my high school class, was a leader in the eyes of my high school classmates and faculty, was seen as someone who was most likely to succeed and had made the National Dean’s List in college. With these kinds of accomplishments, you would think I was on the right path. But the reality was this. I had something holding me back. That something was the fact that I was living my fears rather than living my dreams. The cause of my fears was two-fold. It was the fear of not getting what I wanted and the fear of losing what I had.

Unfortunately, this is what most of us do. We let our fears control us, and we make the decision, whether consciously or not, to live an unlived life, a life of mediocrity.

Whenever I go home to visit my parents, I sometimes ask about my high school classmates. My mom and dad are well-known and respected in the small, suburban community in which I grew up, and they frequently run into many of the people with whom I graduated from high school. It fascinates me to learn from my parents who actually became successful and who went by the wayside.

Many of these people were the most gifted and talented students I had known.

Now, to be fair to my high school graduating class, we had seven valedictorians, a very smart class by any standards. Even with that level of obvious capability and talent, many of my fellow classmates haven’t lived up to their potential.

Why is that?

Most of them, like many of us, are distracted by the fear that has kept them from reaching higher. Part of that fear comes from a lack of planning. You’ve got to have a roadmap. As I stated at the beginning of this chapter, you must plan your work and work your plan because without a plan, you’re more likely to aim too low and hit.

For a while, I let fear grip me and keep me from not dreaming bigger. Fear also kept me doubting my capabilities. I was keeping myself hostage for years after graduating from college, mainly due to my limited self-view, which made it difficult to come up with a definitive plan. Even though I knew I had some talents, abilities, and skills, I didn’t fully believe I was capable of doing more than what I had done up to that point in my life.

Just imagine, you have all the necessary talents and gifts that the world is waiting to bear witness to—that voice, that technology, that business, that speech, that product, that seminar . . . You have the power within you to transform your life and millions of lives around the world. If you live your fears rather than living your dreams, you deprive not only the purpose of what you were put here to do, but you also deprive humankind of your contribution.

“Do what you can where you are
with what you have and never be satisfied.”

~ George Washington Carver

Chemist who discovered over three hundred uses for the peanut

For so long, I deprived my life’s purpose. This was mainly because I didn’t have a clear vision, even though I had qualities and experiences that proved I had what it took to do more and to accomplish more. You, me, all of us have what it takes to do extraordinary things.

— One thing is for sure, if we don’t move on life, life will move on us. Our dream, our talent, our gift is calling us, and instead of listening to it, most of us are saying, “Leave me alone!” Instead of living our life doing what the universe has given us to do, we ignore it. Life chases us, and we keep saying no to our higher-calling, to our greatness, thereby disallowing the universe to work through us. We keep running away from the life that is possible—a life of sharing and contributing our talents, abilities, and skills. Again and again, we ignore our calling. Over and over again life says, “Go pursue your greatness.” We scream, “Oh, no, you can’t be talking to me . . . not me! I can’t be the one!” And life replies, “Yes, you are the one. Why not you?”

Most of us don’t have enough sense to listen because if we did heed life’s calling, we could stop life from punishing us. We would make a choice to live a life of substance rather than just existing. Life beats up some people so badly that they finally say, “Okay, okay, I’ve had enough of this mediocre life. From this moment forward, I am committed to living a life of an incredible journey.”

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SECRETS TO LIFE COACHING YOU MUST KNOW

One of the top ways to get through life with ease is by relying on a life coach. This professional can help you reach your goals and feel good about it in the process. Many things may be of great assistance to you that only this professional may know. Learning these secrets could be the key to enjoying a happier life.

1. Set goals

One of the top methods of getting to where you need to be may rest in setting goals. Having a list of things you’d like to accomplish within a certain amount of time can help.

For instance, are you trying to lose weight or start a new business? Writing down the things you’re aiming to achieve in life can be very helpful and may be suggested by your life coach.

2. Create a plan

Working diligently to an adequate amount of research is vital when it comes to having the success you want in reaching your goals. Achieving this will require a bit of dedication and thought for the ultimate results.

However, when you have a thought process to follow legitimately, this can be extremely beneficial. It won’t take nearly as long to get the things done; you’d like to do when you make a plan you can easily follow.

3. Have positive friends

If you want to enjoy long-term success with your endeavors, it’s vital to have many positive friends who can help you. These should be people that lift you up when you’re feeling low and can be of great assistance in reaching your goals.

Never hanging around negative people is the ideal way to feel upbeat. It will take being in a good mood to ensure you don’t quit on the things you love doing for success.

4. Think about your mindset

You’ll want to be sure to have the right mindset for your goals. It’s necessary to want to reach these, and knowing you can do so is essential.

It can be impossible to be successful if you don’t feel in your mind that you’re totally about to make this happen.

Working daily to ensure you get to the point in life where you want to be will take effort. Nothing comes easy, but relying on many of the secrets of professional coaching can be the key method for making this less complicated.

 

Written By: Cristina Dam 

GET CLEAR WITH YOURSELF AND KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

These are some of my favorite passages in “Light Code Planner” by Nathalie Croix.

 

— Wake up! Every day is a new beginning, and every day brings a new opportunity and possibility of a better life. The LIGHT CODE Planner was created to enhance every level and every aspect of your life to help you make the most of those opportunities and possibilities.

Planners are amazing because they help us stay focused and on track. Beginning your day with the right mindset is a game-changer. I invite you to look at your week and plan ahead for all your visions, hopes, and dreams. The LIGHT CODE Planner holds you accountable so that you can achieve your purpose: the WHY you are here on Planet Earth.

Capturing small wins every day enhances motivation. Simply recording progress in some way helps to boost self-confidence and can be put to use toward future successes. A successful and blissful life is the result of a series of small wins.

Joy is one of the highest frequencies we can experience. Though I am a firm believer in focus and discipline, I am also a big believer in having fun. So, every week I will ask you to list activities you will be participating in just for fun, activities which bring you joy. Find joy every day in your life!

Be committed to yourself, to achieving your goals, and in living the life you always dreamed.

If you want to dive deeper and learn even more tools to enhance your life, I suggest you grab a copy of the companion book to the LIGHT CODE Planner titled Living Life In Light, A Yogi's Journey. In this book, I offer many practices for mental, emotional, spiritual, and body health. The book is an offering of light into the world. Connect with your heart space, take a deep breath, flip the pages, and see where you land for a message of the day. It will inspire you to become a better version of yourself in all aspects of life.

LIGHT CODE membership offers a monthly community livestream and digital library with tools and techniques to enhance your life. If you would benefit from continuous support, join the LIGHT CODE membership program, which can be found at nathaliecroix.com/members-portal.

You may also want to check out one of our three LIGHT CODE online courses on lifeonearthpodcast.com

Every day in this planner, I will ask you to write down your goals, morning ritual, exercise, mindful practice, targets, and successes. So, what do I mean by all this? Let me give you some guidance and perhaps some examples on each part of the LIGHT CODE Planner.

— In the LIGHT CODE Planner, you will find two "Six Months Special Pages" one right at the start of the planner and one at the end. Both are titled What Is Your Intention For The Next Six Months? I believe everything starts with an intention. Intentions are so powerful. The simple act of setting an intention can drastically transform any situation for the better.

Oftentimes in my yoga training school and in my coaching programs, I ask my students to set an intention for the next six months of their life. Intentions plant a seed for transformation in your life. In order to set intentions, it's important to release, let go of that which no longer serves you and create space for new energy so you can be the best version of yourself. I also believe having a vision for what you want to manifest is super powerful. The clearer you can become on your vision the more you will step into the flow and will become the creator of your life.

 — What is your vision for these next six months? Is there something you want to manifest or see more of in your life? What is no longer serving you? Can you let go of that which is no longer serving you and create space for new life? Before answering these questions, I want you to sit up tall, align your spine, close your eyes, take a deep breath, connect with your heart space, and pay attention to what you see.

We are powerful beings, and you have the ability to connect with the Universe at all times. There are infinite possibilities for you in this lifetime. The big question is, what is it that you want? Get clear with yourself and know what you want. Once you get clear and know what you want, you need to ask for what you want. There is a great Madonna quote I love and 100% agree with:

"A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."

Unfortunately, many people don't know what they want. My hope is that this planner, The Six Months Special Pages, The Weekly Wisdom Pages, and the Daily pages will assist you in getting clear with yourself so that you can step into your power, know what you want, ask for what you want, and live the life of your dreams!

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WHERE THERE IS TRUTH, THERE IS LOVE

These are some of my favorite passages in “The Spiritual Mind” by Kathleen Kiley Fisher.

 

— The most common misconceptions about the word 'God', or a higher spiritual power in general often arise in early childhood. The dynamics and interactions that occur within a family unit usually leave deep and lasting impressions about whom or what 'Spirit' or `God' is. Through the eyes of a child, both parents and God are authoritarians and are often misinterpreted as being alike.

The immature mind of a child will conclude that if a parent is wise, giving, and loving, then God must be too. If a parent is frugal, absent, or cruel, then so must be God. These deeply embedded, personal beliefs develop and coincide even when a child receives traditional religious dogma that claims God is separate and apart from the whole of humanity.

Children rarely recognize that their parents have some growing up of their own to do. It would be uncommon to find a child who is mature enough to recognize that her parents are not yet completely evolved. And even when this fact is realized as an adult, the child consciousness buried within may still not agree. Internal conflict about what God is will remain until childhood misconceptions are brought to the surface, reassessed by the mature mind, and re-educated with the truth.

Deeply ingrained 'God' images such as a 'stern dictator', 'too busy with others', 'absent' or 'unavailable' will often interfere with your efforts in trying to develop a deep spiritual connection. There are many personal beliefs and experiences from childhood that remain buried within the unconscious of the adult mind. The exercises on the following pages will assist you in bringing your childhood spiritual beliefs to light. Comparing your current beliefs to those of your parents or other caregivers can be a valuable tool in understanding your perception of 'God'.

— Where there is truth, there is love. Where there is love, there is God. Where there is not love, spiritual awareness is lacking.

The search for truth is the ultimate quest in getting to know your real self. Truth creates an open, uninhibited state in your emotional body that generates the strength and courage to feel anything. If you’re unsure about what the truth is, you can do a ‘check-in’ with yourself. Your body and feelings will always let you know the truth of any matter if you’re genuinely open to receiving it.

Truth emits calm and has a calming effect, even when you’re facing something that’s really painful. Genuine sadness will travel smoothly through your system without getting stuck in defended states of fear. Truth provides a strong, solid, inner container that allows your feelings to flow, release, and exit the body.

Fear instills feelings of anxiety, doubt, confusion, and all other defensive, negative responses.  Anxiety is an emotional reaction to something you fear. When you’re feeling anxious, pause for a moment, and ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” You can decrease anxiety by addressing it head-on. You can tune into the specific thought-forms that frighten you. Once you are aware of your misconceptions, you can re-educate yourself with the truth.

Re-educating fear-based thoughts is an essential step in emotional and spiritual transformation. Emotional development is the most challenging phase of spiritual growth as many thoughts are unconscious.

“…when you are in doubt you are depressed, and when you are experiencing truth, you feel happy. Truth must always make you happy – even unpleasant truth. All my friends on the path have experienced how they must occasionally encounter unflattering or unpleasant aspects of themselves. But when desire for the truth within becomes greater than all else, this unpleasant truth will always strengthen and bring happiness. By the same token, if you observe your feelings closely, you will find that untruth, pleasant as it may seem at the moment, never gives you real peace, for deep down your higher self always has the correct answer and you must feel it. This truth will never depress you.”

Remember, developing a clear, inner channel to your spiritual mind takes time, patience, and perseverance. Exercises are provided after each law to embody and experience them in a deep and personal way. Take the time you need for reflection, and most importantly, enjoy your path to spiritual enlightenment!

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WHEN THE ENDING IS ALSO A BEGINNING

This is one of my favorite passages in “The Grief Train” by Marinda Freeman.

 

— I have always created altars in my home – in my bedroom, living room and even outside. I started by creating beauty and beautiful arrangements of loved items and candles. I did this for years before I realized they were altars. For me, it is a space to honor the beauty of life, and perhaps, both the seen and the unseen of life. Crystals, candles, flowers or plants and objects of importance to me are included. Found objects, too, like a beautiful leaf or a heart-shaped rock will get added. It is always evolving and changing – reflecting that I am, too.

I have found that when someone I love has passed, I am immediately drawn to create an altar space with photos of that loved one, with other mementos and flowers, and a candle or two or three. This provides a focus for me to honor them and to physically ground that I am holding them in my heart. It is a place and a space for remembrance. When my friend, Jane, who was like my second mother, died, I kept her altar for a year. With Mike, I moved my altar to different places. At first, his pictures and other items were on my bedroom altar – on top of a large chest of drawers – with candles and a statue of Ganesha I bought him in Bali. For the first few months, I also created an altar space in the living room. After this ceremony for the second anniversary of his death, I put the photos on a shelf in the changing area in my bedroom, a place I look at every day, and added miniature statues of Indian Gods and Goddesses. This altar is still there. A place of my memories of Mike that I see every day.

When our cat, Clare, was put down, I printed out some photos of her and created an altar in the front hall – right in the center of the house – with flowers and a sculpture of a sleeping cat with wings I had found. Clare was sixteen years old and had been in our family for fourteen years. This was an important way for my daughter and me to acknowledge this sad passing in our lives. During this time, a friend died, and I put her photo on the altar with Clare. After a couple months, I moved the altar – with all the photos – to a new place in the living room. It didn’t need to be the first thing we saw when we entered the house anymore. The sculpture of the sleeping cat with wings was eventually placed on her grave at my friend’s house in the country.

Animals are as dear to us as our family and friends. It helps to acknowledge the grief by creating an altar to honor the place they held in the family.

The first cat I ever had was when I was given a kitten in the mid-1980’s. I was living in Connecticut in the woods. I called him Rocky. He didn’t like to be picked up but loved being petted. When he was a year old, he was run over. A neighbor found Rocky and buried him for me. I was devastated. I had no idea I would be so upset, so sad and grieving. Never having had pets growing up, I thought that saying, “I can’t see you now, my cat just died” was overstating the situation. I was so totally wrong. I was heartbroken. Losing a cat – or dog – is losing a family member. Grieving an animal is the same as grieving a person. It’s a heart connection, and it takes time to get over the change and the sadness.

I buried our cat, Thunder, just five months after we buried Clare. He was fifteen years old. The house was so quiet with him gone. Every day when I would come home, I would instinctively look for him and then remember that he was no longer here. He was such a sweet guy and had been my buddy following me around, keeping me company while I worked in the office or in the garden.

I made an altar for Thunder in the front hall so I could have a focus for remembering and mourning him. It was also to honor him for being part of our family and included pictures, his collar and a cat sculpture I purchased to eventually put on his grave.

My daughter was ten when she picked him out from three kittens neighbors left behind when they moved in the summer. We had an opening for a cat as our male cat, Hugger, was gone. She really wanted a black cat and there he was with big gold eyes. He got the cute kitten award at the vet when we took him in to get checked out. She named him Thunder. When the first rainstorm arrived late in the fall, he was out all night. He loved being in the rain. We knew he was not an ordinary cat. As he got older, we discovered he had what they call smoke fur – he looked like a black cat but with white on the inside half his fur.

It’s funny that a critter that doesn’t talk much would take up such a large space in my home and heart. I’ve found this with all my cats. I was surprised originally that cats were such wonderful company. After thirty-five years of cats, I decided to take a break to explore freedom without anyone at home I needed to take care of. It doesn’t mean that I’m not sad that Thunder is gone. It is an ending and a beginning.

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TRANSFORM YOUR THOUGHTS — TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

This one of my favorite passages in “Living Life In Light: A Yogi’s Journey” by Nathalie Croix.

 

Transform your thoughts, transform your life.

We all have thought patterns.

They can be addicting.

Negative thoughts and behavior can be addicting.

Thoughts are things.

When you have a thought, you already sent that vibration out into the universe. Many people nowadays have psychic abilities and they can not only sense but also hear your thoughts.

Everyone can pick up on your thought vibration.

If you are thinking something negative about someone, they will pick up a lower vibration/ negative feeling from you. 

They won’t know why, if they are not in tune with their psychic abilities or cannot read subtle energies.

The world is changing, and many are developing the capability to know where lower forms of vibrations, which can be thoughts for instance, are coming from.

If they haven’t developed psychic abilities, it will translate into something like this: I don’t feel good or great around this person—I don’t know why but I do not trust him or her.

When someone feels this way about you, the result will be they will stop wanting to be around you.

What will happen is they will either consciously or unconsciously start making excuses to not be around you.

This will result in separation.

If you are having negative thoughts about a person, sometimes it is best to share those negative thoughts with them.

Find ways in the principles of ahimsa (non-violence) to let the person know why you feel uncomfortable around them.

Also ask yourself, “Is it them? Or is it me?”

Often times when we have such adverse feelings towards someone it is because they are mirroring something that exists within us which we don’t want to look at.

Perhaps they shine light into darker places within us, making us feel extremely uncomfortable and hence we create negative thought patterns towards them and throw energetic low vibrational arrows towards them, hoping we feel better ourselves.

The reality is this tactic never works.

Another possibility is fear. This person may be showing you something that is unfamiliar to you which causes you fear, in which case is also about you.

If you catch yourself doing this, take some time and go inside. Sit and meditate or go on a mindful walk (no electronics here—just you and the trees) and try to work this through your own system.

Allow this vibration to continue to make its way out of you.

See how you feel after and if the feeling is still there, communicate with that person—and you most likely will work things out.

If you don’t, maybe it is a good time to suggest some time apart from this individual or individuals so things can get to a neutral place, a place of more equanimity and less destructive thought patterns.

This is if you care about the person or situation, because if you don’t care, you can simply walk away.

Walking away is not always easy, especially if is a family member. We all know that. Relationships between parents, sons, daughters, or siblings can be complicated. Adding their significant others can get even more complicated. But as I said, thoughts are things. If you choose to preserve these relationships, it is important you communicate the bad feelings, or the results, can be complete separation from those you love.

Many spiritual teachings talk about close relationships being assignments, whether family or lovers, they represent maximum growth opportunities—so we can face our fears and learn how to love deeper.

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