THE HEART RULES - PART ONE

I don't want to control anyone.

That's not my business.

I’d like to help everyone, if possible, Americans, Indians, the kind, the unkind, black, white, children. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that when we listen to our hearts. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.

In this world there is room for everyone. Mother Earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be JOYFUL AND BEAUTIFUL, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned people’s souls, has blinded the world with hate, has made most forget they have a beating heart that cries for love. We have developed technology, but we have shut ourselves in.

Business opportunities that give wealth and abundance have left us in a poverty-stricken state of dissatisfaction, wanting more and more. They lack meaningful purpose. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little.

More than technology and opportunities to make money, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent, untrusting, and all will be lost.

It’s paramount that we try to revive these precious and valuable qualities in our daily lives.

Much love!

Valeria 

 

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain

 

** Credit: The Heart Rules content was paraphrased and inspired by The Final Speech of the Great Dictator by Charlie Chaplin

LET IT BE JOYFUL

If we can learn how to create space for action without losing touch with the joy in our hearts, we can live with serenity.  We become stressed, anxious, and depressed because we have limited our minds to act (and react) according to our psychological, emotional and physical aspects only. 

Think of it this way: when we are in our hearts, living a kind and positive life, we can be overloaded with thoughts and physical activities. However, our peaceful state won’t change as long as we don’t identify with our "must do" actions (and likes and dislikes), but rather keep ourselves open to embracing it all. What is amazing is that we can live in that space, starting right now, by recognizing we are joyful and serene beings living a human life!

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

OUR OWN CREATED PRISON

Given how exercise, diet, and even therapy can become traps for a painful emotional reality, it’s crucial for us be aware of the fundamental causes of our suffering.

Think of how we might sometimes consciously (or unconsciously) believe that we are not good enough or not worthy of happiness. When this happens, we then begin to work hard in pursuit of this worthiness.

As a result, anything external that gives us the illusion that we deserve happiness for our effort will also become our own created prison.

This cycle of sustaining habits out of fear turns exercise and diet (or whatever our external source of happiness is) into negative forces, thus compounding the root problem as we live for our bodies and for conditioned emotional stability through abusive mechanisms.

This can cause disharmony within the heart, creating a state of mind where true happiness cannot exist.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

ESCAPISM & FITNESS HABITS

The links between my painful past and fitness became clear to me after a period of major inner turbulence. I knew that most compulsive behaviors had their roots in traumatic experiences, but I never connected my obsession with fitness with my lingering inner pain from the past. I believed I was a strong person who had overcome pain because I had a fit and healthy body to prove it, as well as a life that seemed to be driven by (and built on) authentic and exciting experiences. However, the truth was that my fitness habits, to a great extent, were escapism.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

PAST: "LESSONS OF LOVE"

Bringing back our traumatic experiences is one way to understand the pattern of our limited view of life, especially a spiritual one. We must learn to reinterpret hurtful past events as “lessons of love,” in the sense that we recognize that everything that happens to us is an effect of a cause we have created ourselves. It took the Buddha’s teachings of karma for me to understand my own life and mind. However, it’s my belief that we don’t have to be Buddhists to see how painful past events can turn our present lives into a nightmare when we view them as purely negative.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

DIET OF THE HEART

Many of us feel compassion when preparing or eating animal flesh, and some even reject meat at childhood. This is not an accident. We all live in different spiritual realities and levels. What is interesting is that those of us who have had profound spiritual experiences often don’t trust them to be real. I believe this is because we are too immersed in, and attached to, our physical reality. We are basically in denial of the interconnectedness of our reality.

The way I see it, food cravings (though certainly not all of them) are directly connected to anxiety and fear. This may be because the mind has associated happiness with pleasure, and since pleasure and pain are closely related, suffering becomes a tasty experience. The body, on the other hand, craves food and sex for self-preservation and perpetuation, not pleasure. It’s interesting to notice that only the heart is rooted in love and kindness. It has no cravings that can cause us suffering. The heart cares for our being as a whole, and it also for others—happily and healthily embracing everything as a big family.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

MOVING WITH CONTENTMENT

When you’ve found joy in your own heart, you’ll have a much different experience when exercising. There should be a body and mind connection where you are in the moment: enjoyment without fear—there’s less concern with your physical health. You are simply respecting the natural law of cause and effect— satisfaction before, during, and after your exercise sessions; you feel anxiety-free about your next workout.

Exercise is a great habit to cultivate, but it should not be an obsession. There should be no expectation to get specific results, apart from improving your overall health. There should be no guilt when you don’t exercise. The main motivation should be to live longer and be physically healthy so that you can do more spiritual work on yourself and also help others to do the same.

My advice is that you find your own unique way to connect with that deep feeling of love within you while moving your body.

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

UNHEALTHY MOTIVATIONS TO EXERCISE

Although physical health is an important asset, the reasons we engage in exercise can still become unhealthy. Being mindful about your motivation for hitting the gym or engaging in any physical activity is helpful if you are looking for spiritual growth and self-knowledge. Be on the lookout for these unhealthy motivations to exercise:

·      The need to be thin to feel good every day.

·      Pressure to look good and lean to attract a new partner or to please an existing one.

·      Feelings of insecurity about a specific body part.

·      Fear of not being loved by others if you are out of shape.

·      Guilt for not exercising every day or more often.

·      To release stress caused by a changeable situation.

·      To release anger.

·      To show off, get attention, compete, or provoke envy in others.

·      To fight or to intimidate others.

·      Out of pure habit and without enjoyment.

·      Shame.

·      Pressure to be a role model in your family, work, town, or society.

These are just some examples. Keep in mind that behind all these reasons to work out, there is fear, and it is fear that makes them unhealthy. 

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving.

LET'S BE HEALTHY TOGETHER

If you are like me (someone who can’t stay away from physical activities), integrating fitness and spirituality is essential. How many of us have struggled to answer the question of how to take good care of our bodies, without falling for preconceptions regarding physical attractiveness and health?

The answer can be very simple, but highly complex and paradoxical at the same time.

The closer we live to our spiritual hearts, the less we tend to engage in physical activities as purely beautifying or self-cherishing methods—even when these activities promote good-looking bodies, health, and higher self-esteems.

At this point, we are wiser, joyful, and peaceful enough to work on our bodies, so we hang around longer to support others with our virtues. 

Much love! 

Valeria  

To be healthy is to be loving!

EXERCISE THE MIND FIRST

The pursuit of a fit and healthy body can only be a wonderful thing when we’ve already recognized our spiritual hearts as perfectly fit to provide us with a life of happiness and peace. In other words, a fit body can make us smile more often as a result of all the compliments we get, improve our health, and give us a temporary “happy” feeling of accomplishment. However, without a content mind and a joyful heart, this feeling won’t last long.

Since our health and feel-good state depend on external conditions and constant hard work (which can propel us into an endless cycle), I propose the following: Let’s work on achieving a more stable feeling of happiness, rooted in kindness, that can then result in a healthy and fit body.

Much love!

Valeria

TRULY STRONG

During one of my “fitness role model” training days, I was climbing a high set of steps outdoors in an intense workout session. Many people passed by me, including an overweight mother who was having a hard time carrying her baby down the steps in its stroller.

I passed her at least three times as she struggled to get down, but it never occurred to me to help her. All my mind could think was that by passing her as fast as I could and as many times as possible, I would inspire her to engage in exercise so she could lose weight and be healthy.

Later, a couple passing by called me strong and courageous. Had I actually been strong and courageous—enough to be listening to my spiritual heart—I would have stopped to help the mother and her baby.

Yes, I would still be exercising for enjoyment and physical health, but I would be motivated by love and compassion. It would have been an action based, not on “look how good I am,” but on “here I am and look, someone needs help.”

Much love!

Valeria 

EXERCISING FOR THE WRONG REASONS

Most of us engage in exercise and clean eating for the wrong reasons. I did it for many years. I went through a rough period in my marriage when it didn’t matter how physically fit and healthy both of us were, our relationship wasn’t a happy one.

I stopped exercising for a few months. I gained about ten pounds. My body felt incredibly good (no more soreness or joint pain), though my marriage was falling apart. It didn’t take long for a heavy cloud of shame to settle over my head. Not even hours of meditation could save me from the pressure to go back to the gym and clean up my act. It had been about three months at this point, and the feelings of shame and fear were unbearable. How many of us exercise because we feel pressured to be lean and thin to fit the rules of society, please others, or because we are ashamed of our bodies?

Much love!

Valeria 

LEAVING HOME WAS A DREAM!

The limited physical reality most people live in is a painful one. We entertain ourselves with achievements, pleasures, and excitements. But we also suffer dissatisfaction, confusion, and disappointments, and we lack wisdom in the face of sickness and death. It’s hardly fun to dwell on the past, worry about the future, and constantly fight to maintain what we think we have or to acquire what we believe we lack. This kind of worldly life is an endless marathon toward suffering, but it can be replaced with joy when you access the truth inside your own heart.

After investing many years in physical and psychological health, I finally realized that true health comes from knowing the depths of our own hearts and the nature of life. With this knowledge, all my external searches for happiness and peace ended and a joyful celebration began. You don’t need to find the way back home when you realize that leaving home was only a dream. 

Much love!

Valeria 

HAPPINESS AND SERENITY

Happiness and serenity have a lot to do with being in the present moment. However, many people do not achieve this state because they dwell on the past or become preoccupied with how to escape it by living for a “better” future. When we project (or stake) our happiness on the hypothetical achievement of a future circumstance, we sabotage our ability to be happy in the present. This reinforces a self-destructive mindset that likely will persist into the magical “future” we are hoping for. 

To release yourself from this trap, you must shift your life toward a spiritual reality that transforms pain into joy. When you understand that the essence of your nature is not the thinking mind but rather a spaceless and timeless quality inside of you, compassion will arise and you will be free of unnecessary pain. Once you establish yourself in that place of love and kindness, everything will become love, or a lesson of love. While physical and mental health are valuable, realizing who you are at the heart-level is much more critical for happiness and serenity.

Much love!

Valeria  

EXERCISE AND LOVING-KINDNESS

Exercise, diet, and even therapy can become traps for a painful reality; in some ways they can make it worse. For example, if you consciously (or unconsciously) believe you are not good enough or not worthy as a whole human being, you might work to become fit in pursuit of such worthiness. This mindset, however, creates the trap of sustaining habits out of fear, turning exercise and diet into negative forces and compounding the root problem as we live for our bodies through abusive mechanisms. Disharmony within the heart occurs when we forget to recognize that love and kindness are what life is all about.

Much love!

Valeria 

INTENTION MATTERS

Where I come from in Brazil, an attractive body is worshipped as if it were a god. I was taught not only to strive for physical beauty, but also to be obedient, to serve, and to smile. It took years of suffering from inner conflict for me to accept my imperfect body and to find my way back to the intuitive faith in my heart. This heart had always known my true identity as a spiritual being, even though my rational mind could not accept that as truth. You might know well what I am talking about.

This was the main reason, for pretty much all of my life, that I pursued a fit and healthy body. To this day, daily exercise is still something my mind craves. What I do, then, is integrate exercise for the body with food for the soul! Every experience can become spiritual when we have the intention to be loving and kind. 

Yes, we can enjoy our fit bodies as long as we know that true happiness only comes from our own hearts! 

Much love!

Valeria 

JOURNEY TO THE HAPPY YOU!

If you are like me and are inclined to engage in physical activity, integrating fitness and spirituality is essential. For many, many years I struggled to answer the question, “How do I take good care of my body but not fall for preconceptions about physical attractiveness and health?”

The answer was very simple, yet also highly complex and paradoxical. The closer you live to your spiritual heart, the less you tend to engage in purely physical activities and beautifying methods, even if they promote a healthy body and high self-esteem. This is because your spirit knows that sickness, old age, and death are inevitable. The time we have on earth is too limited to concern ourselves with the impermanent aspect of our existence. Every second becomes a valuable chance to recognize our true nature and to realize who we are in the spiritual reality.

When you know that there is a lot more to you than a body and a thinking mind, but you don’t know how to access that deeper part, you end up struggling between the two. This journey in limbo can be interesting, especially because it can teach you to have compassion for your own body. The paradox is that even giving attention to thoughts about fitness and health can lead you to believe that you are a physical being whose psychological needs must be met in order to feel good or to be whole. At this level, you are not living a spiritual existence yet.

However, this is all part of the journey to reaching the happy you. Listening to the heart, so that we can live more and more as a spiritual being, can bring our existence to a conscious space where life becomes a loving and joyful adventure that renews itself with every moment.

 

Much love!

Valeria 

BEYOND FORGIVENESS

A difficult past can trap us in negativity.

If you find yourself wandering away from the domain of the heart, you most likely are dwelling in the past. In my life, I have met all kinds of people—religious, spiritual, philosophical, psychological, young and old—who assured me that forgiveness was necessary for a happy life. I heard what they were saying, but it never resonated with the deeper truth in my heart.

When we understand that we are all prone to making mistakes, the idea of forgiving someone is not as compelling as treating those who have “wronged” us with compassion and kindness.

Think of how many times in the past you were unkind to yourself and others. If we are really honest, we’ll admit that we were unable to act differently.

To forgive implies that someone outside of ourselves has the power over our emotions, or that we have power over theirs. How about accessing true forgiveness that only the heart is able to offer? I don’t know anything more powerful than compassion.

Those who are compassionate understand the cause of their own pain and how unnecessary suffering can be avoided. Such understanding drives a compassionate person to be kind and loving toward everyone, including those who have hurt them in the past. This attitude transcends forgiveness.   

Much love!

Valeria 

LUCAS AND THE BIRD

Long, long ago, there was a young man called Lucas who believed so much in love that he became a musician only to sing and play songs of love. He played and sang his music every day in the middle of the town as loud as he could. The people in the town started to complain about his music.

One day the police came and arrested him. Lucas was sentenced many years in prison. There, they took his guitar away and he was ordered not to sing. After many months, he found a way to escape.

Scared, he crossed the oceans looking for the furthest place from the town. In a land thousands of miles away, he found a farm and asked for a job. The old farmer gave him a job. Lucas helped with the crop and took care of the animals in exchange for food, some money, and a small cottage to live in by the river.

The place was comfortable and serene. He planned to spend the rest of his life there. He promised not to ever sing a word about love again but also not to ever forgive the people who put him in prison. Although it was impossible for anyone to ever find him there, every time a bird made a sound outside, he got scared and anxious. The fear the police would come to arrest him wouldn’t let him sleep. He would chase the bird away and rush inside.

One day, Lucas talked to the old man about his problem. He asked him how to ignore the bird’s noise and sleep better at night.

The old farmer looked him in the eye and said, “You are not afraid of birds young man. You are afraid of the song. It reminds you of an old melody.”

“But what melody?” he asked, confused.

“The melody of your past. The song of love you used to sing. It’s a song you must sing again.” 

How does this farmer know about my past? What is he trying to say? Lucas asked himself with fear.      

The farmer continued, “You can either live as a man who is afraid of birds, or you can sing the song of your heart and become as free as they are.”

Lucas reflected on everything the farmer said to him. The next day, he got up from bed, dressed, and went straight to the music store and bought a used guitar. That same afternoon, on the porch of his small cottage, he sang and played songs of love. At night, a bird made a noise outside, waking him up. Lucas walked calmly to the window to watch the bird and, with a smile on his face, he said: I also broke my second promise. 

"The pain of resentment is not stronger than the power to love that belongs to your heart. You are here to be free from resentment, but you must allow your heart to sing the song of love it was meant to sing."

Much love! 

Valeria

ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOUR HEART?

How do you know that you are listening to your heart and not your habitual self?

We can’t stop the flow of thoughts. They will always polarize our minds. However, the nature of our thoughts, and the degree to which they command our attention, can change radically depending on lifestyle and spiritual practice. Here is my list of eleven signs to let you know if your heart is becoming master over your mind: You…

Live without judgment. When you look at yourself in the mirror or make a mistake, you are kind or even playful. This extends to how you see and treat others. 

See others as fellow souls. When engaging with others, you feel joy. You appreciate their uniqueness. There is a feeling of a deep connection you can’t explain. You recognize them as fellow souls. Your don’t wonder how each person will benefit you; your relationships are free of ego.

Live in the moment. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, there is a magical quality to it. Your thoughts focus on the now. Memories come when called to assist you with what is happening in the present. This is especially helpful when engaging with others. You feel a much stronger desire to be present when with others.

Live serenely. In the heart’s reality there is no time, space, or fear. Anxiety is linked to fearful thoughts about the past or the future. Without these limiting conceptions about who you are, you feel free and calm.

Live simply. Your life is simple and your mind is clear. Because you know much about the nature of existence, you also know that there is no reason to complicate anything.

Enjoy silence. Because your heart is in touch with different levels of reality, it demands silence from your mind. Those who listen to the heart treasure quietude.

Revive in joy. Passion and excitement are replaced by joy. Passion is often linked to desires and pursuits of temporary achievements, while joy is rooted in renewal, love, and acceptance of what is.

Appreciate nature. Feeling at home in nature is a sign that your heart is in control, at least in that moment. Nature’s spirit is the same as the essence of who you are.

Experience Oneness. You feel the deep connection between you and everything in the universe, including all suffering.

Stay playful. You become almost child-like at times, but your presence and words are as deep as old age.

Practice compassion. You are someone who rejoices in helping others because you recognize that life is essentially suffering, but you are joyful and peaceful because you know who you are! 

Much love!

Valeria